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assassinated beauty

A bad appointment with my derm...

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I left her office in tears.

She repeatedly pointed out that my skin is awful, then offered little reassurance.

She made me feel like its my fault I'm self conscious about my skin.

She kept making note of how red my skin is.

She thinks I have emotional problems and has asked me to do these confidence building excercises.....

And worst of all.... she said something to this effect....

"You'll have to learn to live with scars and realise people are going to stare at you because of it"

Every other derm has told me i have no scarring... and anyway, she was just extremely harsh.

And what makes things worse is that my ENTIRE face is bright red...it started a few days ago and has not calmed...it burns :(

I feel absolutely horrible. Just disgusting.

Rant over.

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What a BITCH! I wouldn't even have left her office in tears.. i'd be bawling my eyes out IN her office. I don't think she has a right to be that rude. I've seen your skin in the gallary and I thought it looked GREAT! Are you all done with tane now? If you are, at least you'll never have to see her again eh?

I have a somewhat bitchy derm myself... she treats me like i'm a little child and she knows how self concience I am about my skin.. she yelled at me for coming to her office last time with makeup on (though she never told me I wasn't suppose to wear makeup) and she told me in an EXTREMELY rude way that if I came to my next appointment with makeup on, she wouldn't give me that month's accutane. :dry: I can't even walk a step out my door without having lots of makeup on to cover my severe scarring.. I don't know HOW i'm going to be able to go makeup-less to my next appointment :cry:

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Heya, thats awful! Which part of Scotland do I find that Derm in? I'm from Aberdeen btw, its nice to meet a fellow Scot on here. I have only seen the Derm once and I go every month to the nurse now. The Derm I went to was really blunt and never answered my questions right. Managed to point out how horrible my back looked anyway. You should complain - the doctor needs to have the patient's best interests at heart and having you in tears obviously doesn't sound like good 'bedside manner'. Looking at your pictures, I see no Scarring and you have a beautiful face anyway. Take no notice, I don't know where she gets off saying stuff like that. If you are worried, scarring can be taken care of and since I can't see any, you have NOTHING to worry about.

Don't let a derm bring you down. They are ignorant-perfect-skin people who don't really know how it feels.

Keep smiling

x

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That's terrible! Dermatologists should not say things like that. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Don't let her ruin your day. This is easier said than done, but just ignore her and move on. I haven't seen your pictures, but if every other derm said that you don't have scars, then don't worry about it. Just work on finding a new dermatologist. :comfort:

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I was afraid you would all say that its her job to be honest about my skin...

I havnt finished my course, this is the beginning of my 4th month (she told me my skin is bad enough for 5months) so I have to see her atleast another twice.

Another thing....she DEMANDED that when I left I stopped off at McDonalds and Burger King for job applications... she told me it would build my self confidence....WHAT LITTLE CONFIDENCE I HAD when i went in was sure as hell not there when I left. Surely its her job to put me at ease...and NOT HER JOB to force me to get a job?

Theres other ways to build my self confidence, right? (just have to find out what they are)

And for Katy, I'm from just outside glasgow. :)

Thanks for replying everyone

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ugh! that sucks. i can't imagine a doctor doing that...time to find a new one. I got very lucky, i have 2 and both are 100% supportive and reassuring. ..what good does it do to remind someone of their weaknesses? Acne has most definately made me insecure and self conscious. Bla! that's just shitty.

But really, find a new doctor, there are a few out there that care!

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:S Horrible. Met my derm for the first time today she was great and shes the only derm around here the next closest is 4 hours away, so she deals with alot of ppl and is still not like that anyways its ok though your almost done your tane course im just waiting to get my bloodwork done to start mine! Goodluck with ur final results

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If any said that stuff to me I would fall over and die.

Never mind your own DERM!!!

good job keeping your head up. I couldn't do it.

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I left her office in tears.

She repeatedly pointed out that my skin is awful, then offered little reassurance.

She made me feel like its my fault I'm self conscious about my skin.

She kept making note of how red my skin is.

She thinks I have emotional problems and has asked me to do these confidence building excercises.....

And worst of all.... she said something to this effect....

"You'll have to learn to live with scars and realise people are going to stare at you because of it"

Every other derm has told me i have no scarring... and anyway, she was just extremely harsh.

And what makes things worse is that my ENTIRE face is bright red...it started a few days ago and has not calmed...it burns :(

I feel absolutely horrible. Just disgusting.

Rant over.

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You do not have any scarring.

You DO however, need a new dermatologist.

If she is in a practice on her own, there is unfortunately no one you can report her to with effect. If she is in a practice however, you CAN report her to the owner/manager of the clinic.

It is not the derm's job to be harsh. It is the derm's job to provide you with effective measures for correcting problems. It is NOT the derm's job to make someone already self-conscious feel more self-conscious.

It definitely would not hurt to have some counseling. It helps even perfectly happy people when they have down moments, but it might do you a world of good if you lack self-confidence.

You are beautiful and your freckles are adorable.!!!

Remember that some bitter people purposefully put others down to make themselves feel better. The more pain they cause particularly when it is NOT true, the better they feel. They feel powerful with their ability to cause pain.

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Omg. :hand: I don't know how you didn't start crying rite then and there. I prob would have. From what i see in your pictures your skin looks great and you sound like a sweet person. Try to keep your head up.

As for the derm. Screw that bitch. I would have said well do you really think its helping my self confidence by you telling me i look horriable? I suggest finding a new one...maybe calling and telling the office manager what happened?

Anyway cheer up hun...it will be ok :comfort:

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You don't have any scarring. Your skin looks good like mine which is clear! I'm not trying to speak up for your dermatologist but is she always like that? If she is then maybe you should switch derm but not now, at least till you finish your accutane course. There might be a lot of confusion should you switch derms now and explaining, you get what I mean? After all, she is the one who has been monitoring you on tane and all the blood work.

As for the bad appointment if its the first time, maybe you got to her on a bad day. Its true that a derm should be honest about their patient's skin but she does sound too harsh. She might be having a bad day and its normal for people to vent frustrations on others since doctors are also humans but unfortunately she picked you. If its her first time, try to be a little more forgiving and give her another chance.

Good luck!

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Since when is a derm a psychologist?

You should tell her to stick to the profession she trained for.

I put up with that kind of treatment once when I was younger. I started calling him "the butcher" to his colleagues because he's the same guy that screwed up my excisions that made my scarring much worse. He was practicing plastic surgery for free on his office staff. (however the jerks credentials checked out with the board of plastic sugery)

*hugs*

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I left her office in tears.

She repeatedly pointed out that my skin is awful, then offered little reassurance.

She made me feel like its my fault I'm self conscious about my skin.

She kept making note of how red my skin is.

She thinks I have emotional problems and has asked me to do these confidence building excercises.....

And worst of all.... she said something to this effect....

"You'll have to learn to live with scars and realise people are going to stare at you because of it"

Every other derm has told me i have no scarring... and anyway, she was just extremely harsh.

And what makes things worse is that my ENTIRE face is bright red...it started a few days ago and has not calmed...it burns :(

I feel absolutely horrible. Just disgusting.

Rant over.

Hiya,

Just wanted to say screw the Derm!! Don't let her make you feel like that.

On a more helpful note have you tried using Aloe Vera Gel for the redness? It has worked wonders for me.

Sam

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PS: One may have an occasional bad day but that is no excuse to ever take it out on your patients. A nurse can lose her license for that since it can be deemed verbal abuse and that is illegal.

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God that sucks. I have a terrible derm as well but I'm reticent to switch before I get my first accutane script filled. I think she's full of it, she didn't counsel me properly on how to register for ipledge (I know you don't have to put up with that), but she did the same thing trying to blame me for her (and her insanely rude office staff's) incompetence. How the hell is applying for a job at some restaurant supposed to help you with your self esteem?? How about she clears your acne like she's supposed to and then you can let HER know about self-esteem. Biatch.

p.s. I wish my skin looked like yours!

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She sounds like an idiot. I can see you skin is clearing nicely. I don't see any scarring - certainly none that would make people stare at you. In particular, I can't believe that she encouraged you to work at McDonalds / Burker King. I understand that constantly being in a greasy environment is detrimental to acne prone skin. You're better off trying to get a job in a clothes shop or something. Chin up - you look great!

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Thanks again for more replies!

And yes, I was thinking myself that working in a greasy food place is probably the worst job I could have. It wasn't even a suggestion, she TOLD ME that as soon as I left the hospital I was to go and collect application forms. She couldn't understand why I didnt feel comfortable getting a job yet....

My lips look awful, I'm avoiding all makeup at the moment, and I cant seem to control how long I sleep.... not to mention she just told me people would stare at me for life!!!

And thanks for all the positive comments on my skin. I know myself its a lot better and I feel really bad for complaining... (I know there are other people who have much worse skin than me) I suppose my problem is that I've had cystic acne for 7 years....so everything depends on this now....

Is there any point in changing derm? I only have 1 more appointment left.... Is it too much to ask that the 10mins she spends with me are positive? I hate going now.

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Thanks again for more replies!

And yes, I was thinking myself that working in a greasy food place is probably the worst job I could have. It wasn't even a suggestion, she TOLD ME that as soon as I left the hospital I was to go and collect application forms. She couldn't understand why I didnt feel comfortable getting a job yet....

My lips look awful, I'm avoiding all makeup at the moment, and I cant seem to control how long I sleep.... not to mention she just told me people would stare at me for life!!!

And thanks for all the positive comments on my skin. I know myself its a lot better and I feel really bad for complaining... (I know there are other people who have much worse skin than me) I suppose my problem is that I've had cystic acne for 7 years....so everything depends on this now....

Is there any point in changing derm? I only have 1 more appointment left.... Is it too much to ask that the 10mins she spends with me are positive? I hate going now.

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Just so you know, it seems you handled the situation pretty well. If my dermatologist was a Male and told me that I needed to go get a job at McDonalds or BK, or any fast food place for that matter... The dermatologist would be having some severe problems in his face after I got through with him. You can guarantee I would have pounced on the guy and trashed his face then ask him how he feels dealing with it. Thats the most idiotic, ignorant advice she could have given you. She is not a good person, and a dermatologist at that!?!?!?

Thanks again for more replies!

And yes, I was thinking myself that working in a greasy food place is probably the worst job I could have. It wasn't even a suggestion, she TOLD ME that as soon as I left the hospital I was to go and collect application forms. She couldn't understand why I didnt feel comfortable getting a job yet....

My lips look awful, I'm avoiding all makeup at the moment, and I cant seem to control how long I sleep.... not to mention she just told me people would stare at me for life!!!

And thanks for all the positive comments on my skin. I know myself its a lot better and I feel really bad for complaining... (I know there are other people who have much worse skin than me) I suppose my problem is that I've had cystic acne for 7 years....so everything depends on this now....

Is there any point in changing derm? I only have 1 more appointment left.... Is it too much to ask that the 10mins she spends with me are positive? I hate going now.

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If any said that stuff to me I would fall over and die.

Never mind your own DERM!!!

good job keeping your head up. I couldn't do it.

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I'm sorry you have such a mean derm :( My derm isn't very personable either and she rushes me in and out. She says the same speech every time and then starts writing the script. If it were me, and I only had one appt left I'd just grin and bear it for 10 mins and if she's horrible again then I'd say something.

You shouldn't have to deal with this!! You are beautiful! Don't listen to her and don't worry about getting a job. There is plenty of time for that..

I'm sorry. :comfort:

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Thanks again for more replies!

And yes, I was thinking myself that working in a greasy food place is probably the worst job I could have. It wasn't even a suggestion, she TOLD ME that as soon as I left the hospital I was to go and collect application forms. She couldn't understand why I didnt feel comfortable getting a job yet....

My lips look awful, I'm avoiding all makeup at the moment, and I cant seem to control how long I sleep.... not to mention she just told me people would stare at me for life!!!

And thanks for all the positive comments on my skin. I know myself its a lot better and I feel really bad for complaining... (I know there are other people who have much worse skin than me) I suppose my problem is that I've had cystic acne for 7 years....so everything depends on this now....

Is there any point in changing derm? I only have 1 more appointment left.... Is it too much to ask that the 10mins she spends with me are positive? I hate going now.

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