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The worst resident Ive ever had in the nursing home...

Im under a lot of stress lately with my acne and all. Ive actually been upset about it for the last year. I havent been feeling like going to work. I procrastinate. I wake up at 8 and dont take my shower until 8:30. I have been dealing with the worst resident in the nursing home. She honestly is the worst one Ive ever had! She has zero dementia. Shes just mean. She can read, she knows my name, knows where she is, etc. She has told me Im so ugly I should look at myself in the mirror. Today I took her to the bathroom on two different occasiosn and she was so ungreatful! My friend Cesar and I brought her to the bathroom. She hadnt even been in the bathroom for two minutes and she goes, "Hurry up!" She always makes this weird hand movement when she gets frustrated and upset. I go, "OMG! We are working as fast as we can!" She carried on in a shit fit the whole time. She goes, "Dont close the door!" Again she used that stupid hand movement. I said, "Honey Im right here!" She goes again, "Dont close the doooooooooooooooooooooor!" My friend Emelia opened the door. She said, "We are right here!" The patient/resident told her to go to hell. She is such an old ungreatful bitch! I hope I dont turn like that when Im old! I dont know how I am gonna deal with her shit everyday. After she ate her dinner and her family visitors had left she called me a bratty girl. I deal with this behavior from her everyday and I just cannot take it anymore! Im already under enough stress

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Hey there,

You just cant understand how fustrating that can be until you've experienced it... Aged care can be so hard, although you met individuals that you can't tolerate in acute wards, at least they won't be around for more then a few days.... but you have to deal with her day in and day out...and you know there is always going to be 'someone' like this in what ever facility you work in. A nursing journal would proberbly say, look at her psycho social situation, communicate and try to find out what her true issue is and try come up with a nursing action blah blah... my little thing and its possibly evil of me, but it stops me from being a nasty nurse is picturing myself as a rotteweiler growling and barking at them until they back down...it sounds really daft, but its kind of the point, its so stupid that it makes me laugh... one time I looked after one lady who was a nightmare, yet not demented and when ever I had to deal with her I talked like a pirate, she thought I was totally mad and avoided any futher communication with me and kept her finger off the buzzer... so stupid methods of how to cope... at least I can't be accused of not being creative!

Good luck, its a tough job and your well respected for your efforts!

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Hey there,

You just cant understand how fustrating that can be until you've experienced it... Aged care can be so hard, although you met individuals that you can't tolerate in acute wards, at least they won't be around for more then a few days.... but you have to deal with her day in and day out...and you know there is always going to be 'someone' like this in what ever facility you work in. A nursing journal would proberbly say, look at her psycho social situation, communicate and try to find out what her true issue is and try come up with a nursing action blah blah... my little thing and its possibly evil of me, but it stops me from being a nasty nurse is picturing myself as a rotteweiler growling and barking at them until they back down...it sounds really daft, but its kind of the point, its so stupid that it makes me laugh... one time I looked after one lady who was a nightmare, yet not demented and when ever I had to deal with her I talked like a pirate, she thought I was totally mad and avoided any futher communication with me and kept her finger off the buzzer... so stupid methods of how to cope... at least I can't be accused of not being creative!

Good luck, its a tough job and your well respected for your efforts!

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Okay, so quit.

Im not gonna quit because of one patient. That would be insane! I just felt like venting. Hopefully, other CNAs and RNs here will have had similar experiences and can lend some helpful advice

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Hey there,

You just cant understand how fustrating that can be until you've experienced it... Aged care can be so hard, although you met individuals that you can't tolerate in acute wards, at least they won't be around for more then a few days.... but you have to deal with her day in and day out...and you know there is always going to be 'someone' like this in what ever facility you work in. A nursing journal would proberbly say, look at her psycho social situation, communicate and try to find out what her true issue is and try come up with a nursing action blah blah... my little thing and its possibly evil of me, but it stops me from being a nasty nurse is picturing myself as a rotteweiler growling and barking at them until they back down...it sounds really daft, but its kind of the point, its so stupid that it makes me laugh... one time I looked after one lady who was a nightmare, yet not demented and when ever I had to deal with her I talked like a pirate, she thought I was totally mad and avoided any futher communication with me and kept her finger off the buzzer... so stupid methods of how to cope... at least I can't be accused of not being creative!

Good luck, its a tough job and your well respected for your efforts!

:lol: That's awesome!

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Okay, so quit.

Im not gonna quit because of one patient. That would be insane! I just felt like venting. Hopefully, other CNAs and RNs here will have had similar experiences and can lend some helpful advice

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thats why i dont want to grow old,weak and dependent... i dont want to be in a nursing home all weak and alone w strangers taking care of me.. its sad to think about it...

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Hi there. I've had lots of patients similar to that. Many of them do have a component of dementia to their behavior, some don't and those are the most difficult to relate to!

Nurse Tara's suggestions are terrific and match a bit how I take care of the four worst patients on my assignment.

1. Hypochondriac with several mental health diagnoses AND other health issues. Nothing has changed her. I just do my work, smile a lot, tell her to have a nice day, and that's pretty much it. Nothing WILL change her behavior. She will never want to do anything for herself, ever. She calls her daughter and says, "No one is giving me my medicine, I am hurting SOOOOOO much I can't stand it." She also likes to tell me she can't breathe. Etc. Vitals fine oxygen level better than mine, etc. I can't change her, and I don't bother with it. Just do the work, get out, be excruciatingly sweet and NEVER call her pet-names. No 'honey', no nothing. It's better not to call any patient 'honey' or other pet names. It can be perceived as being condescending. I don't want any of my patients to ever think I'm being condescending to them.

2. Nervous wreck with a few mental health diagnoses. Since I give her her medicines, I tell her that she's getting something for pain, something for her nerves, and something for rest at night. It's true, they're just not the strength she expects. She gets exactly what is ordered, but I make it seem like something nice and strong. She just really appreciates the TLC and goes right to sleep immediately after her Tylenol, Remeron and Oxycontin. She used to take Ativan, remeron, oxycontin AND oxycodone. Now just the tylenol, remeron and oxycontin. She benefits from the placebo effect just fine. Obviously you can't do that as a nurse's aide, but you could see if other patients who are very difficult to deal with might benefit from a bit of extra TLC and a tiny bit of conversation.

3. Many medical and mental health diagnoses. I used to think she was the most rude woman in the world. It turns out that she purposefully turned people away from herself because she was scared of getting close to them. She would call me all sorts of names. She'd call me a bitch, once she asked, "Is this all you have in the world, this little part time job of yours?" She knew I worked full time as I was always her nurse. One day I asked her about a picture on her wall. She told me about her kids. The next day I asked about another one. I kept engaging her in conversation daily while I was giving her her medications and she has finally come around to being halfway decent to me. She actually SMILES sometimes. Once I nearly had a heart attack as she said, Thank you. Your patient will likely never turn around like that, though.

4. Paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder PLUS many other medical diagnoses. She has yelled in the hall at me, calling me a blonde bimbo, said, "I bet your boyfriend is going to break up with you", "You're incompetent" "You are a liar!" "You gave me the wrong medicines on purpose" "I'm reporting you to the administrator!" "You ought to be fired!" etc. :) Each time she'd say something like that I would smile at her, and say Thank you! as sincerely as I possibly could. of course that reallly didn't make her happy that her words obviously didn't bother me. I actually really was amused and wondering what she'd come up with next. Some of us would make a game of guessing when her next outburst at me would occur. People would actually stand around and listen to the things she said; they were so amazingly silly and unbelievably rude. Oh right, once she threatened to break my arm. Oh, and accused me of taking drugs. And hating all my patients. I actually did laugh one time when she called me a blonde bimbo for the first time. She said, "Oh, you laugh, it must be true!" I said, "Well, I am blonde, and I sure hope you have a wonderful afternoon. Is there anything else you need?"

What it comes down to is you must realize each and every day, "This too shall pass." You don't have to deal with that patient when you get home, only for the few hours a day that you have to work with her. Be excruciatingly polite and sweet. Say Thank you in a VERY polite voice when she calls you names. If you must, always take a witness in with you when you provide care as some people like that will make stories up to get someone in trouble.

I sometimes actually do get very goofy and 'bow' to the more difficult patients and speak with an affected accent and make myself look totally silly. It rather makes them think, "Oh great, my nurse is nuts." I've quoted Shakespeare to one gentleman who said, "To take these or not, that's the question" I immediately struck a melodramatic pose with hand flung over forehead, tilted head back and spoke to the ceiling in a strange, theatrical voice: "To be or not to be, that is the question....whether 'tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outraged fortune..." He said, "For that, I'm taking my medicines NO questions asked."

So, you've got to find your own way to deal with the difficult ones. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Your patient probably really hates her life, hates being dependent, hates being in a nursing home and therefore she takes it out on those who help her everyday. It doesn't make sense, but there you go. That's people for 'ya. She very well may have been this ornery her whole life. There's nothing you can do to change her, you can only change your reaction to her behavior. Don't let them see you sweat, don't let them see it bothers you. RISE above if you can. :P That really pisses them off. :P

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Hi there. I've had lots of patients similar to that. Many of them do have a component of dementia to their behavior, some don't and those are the most difficult to relate to!

Nurse Tara's suggestions are terrific and match a bit how I take care of the four worst patients on my assignment.

1. Hypochondriac with several mental health diagnoses AND other health issues. Nothing has changed her. I just do my work, smile a lot, tell her to have a nice day, and that's pretty much it. Nothing WILL change her behavior. She will never want to do anything for herself, ever. She calls her daughter and says, "No one is giving me my medicine, I am hurting SOOOOOO much I can't stand it." She also likes to tell me she can't breathe. Etc. Vitals fine oxygen level better than mine, etc. I can't change her, and I don't bother with it. Just do the work, get out, be excruciatingly sweet and NEVER call her pet-names. No 'honey', no nothing. It's better not to call any patient 'honey' or other pet names. It can be perceived as being condescending. I don't want any of my patients to ever think I'm being condescending to them.

2. Nervous wreck with a few mental health diagnoses. Since I give her her medicines, I tell her that she's getting something for pain, something for her nerves, and something for rest at night. It's true, they're just not the strength she expects. She gets exactly what is ordered, but I make it seem like something nice and strong. She just really appreciates the TLC and goes right to sleep immediately after her Tylenol, Remeron and Oxycontin. She used to take Ativan, remeron, oxycontin AND oxycodone. Now just the tylenol, remeron and oxycontin. She benefits from the placebo effect just fine. Obviously you can't do that as a nurse's aide, but you could see if other patients who are very difficult to deal with might benefit from a bit of extra TLC and a tiny bit of conversation.

3. Many medical and mental health diagnoses. I used to think she was the most rude woman in the world. It turns out that she purposefully turned people away from herself because she was scared of getting close to them. She would call me all sorts of names. She'd call me a bitch, once she asked, "Is this all you have in the world, this little part time job of yours?" She knew I worked full time as I was always her nurse. One day I asked her about a picture on her wall. She told me about her kids. The next day I asked about another one. I kept engaging her in conversation daily while I was giving her her medications and she has finally come around to being halfway decent to me. She actually SMILES sometimes. Once I nearly had a heart attack as she said, Thank you. Your patient will likely never turn around like that, though.

4. Paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder PLUS many other medical diagnoses. She has yelled in the hall at me, calling me a blonde bimbo, said, "I bet your boyfriend is going to break up with you", "You're incompetent" "You are a liar!" "You gave me the wrong medicines on purpose" "I'm reporting you to the administrator!" "You ought to be fired!" etc. :)Each time she'd say something like that I would smile at her, and say Thank you! as sincerely as I possibly could. of course that reallly didn't make her happy that her words obviously didn't bother me. I actually really was amused and wondering what she'd come up with next. Some of us would make a game of guessing when her next outburst at me would occur. People would actually stand around and listen to the things she said; they were so amazingly silly and unbelievably rude. Oh right, once she threatened to break my arm. Oh, and accused me of taking drugs. And hating all my patients. I actually did laugh one time when she called me a blonde bimbo for the first time. She said, "Oh, you laugh, it must be true!" I said, "Well, I am blonde, and I sure hope you have a wonderful afternoon. Is there anything else you need?"

What it comes down to is you must realize each and every day, "This too shall pass." You don't have to deal with that patient when you get home, only for the few hours a day that you have to work with her. Be excruciatingly polite and sweet. Say Thank you in a VERY polite voice when she calls you names. If you must, always take a witness in with you when you provide care as some people like that will make stories up to get someone in trouble.

I sometimes actually do get very goofy and 'bow' to the more difficult patients and speak with an affected accent and make myself look totally silly. It rather makes them think, "Oh great, my nurse is nuts." I've quoted Shakespeare to one gentleman who said, "To take these or not, that's the question" I immediately struck a melodramatic pose with hand flung over forehead, tilted head back and spoke to the ceiling in a strange, theatrical voice: "To be or not to be, that is the question....whether 'tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outraged fortune..." He said, "For that, I'm taking my medicines NO questions asked."

So, you've got to find your own way to deal with the difficult ones. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Your patient probably really hates her life, hates being dependent, hates being in a nursing home and therefore she takes it out on those who help her everyday. It doesn't make sense, but there you go. That's people for 'ya. She very well may have been this ornery her whole life. There's nothing you can do to change her, you can only change your reaction to her behavior. Don't let them see you sweat, don't let them see it bothers you. RISE above if you can. :P That really pisses them off. :P

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Today was difficult again. Everyday is. We have this new patient. She is so adorable. She is always talking in spanish and she teaches me it. Shes from El Salvador. Today she had a diabetic seizure. It really scared me! She couldve died. Her blood sugar was 18 :( Stupid charge nurses. If they had checked her blood sugar more frequently like they are supposed to, that probably wouldnt of happened.

Another terrible thing happend today. Theres this 96 year old women who has vision problems. This other resident who doesnt like anyone and has a personality disorder taunts her all the time. He will stand by the door and wait until she comes out of the room to walk down the hall. He thinks because she is blind, she doesnt have the right to walk down the hall because he could hurt someone. He swears at her and screams! Today he was so mean to her. She was trying to walk back to her room and he was blocking her. She goes, "Whats wrong with you? Im trying to go back to my room!" He goes, "Shut up! You old bag, prune face!" It made her cry. I felt so bad for her. She is a really nice women and she is 96 years old and these are her last days. She doesnt need to deal with that shit. I dont know what to do. I told a charge nurse and she just said oh and didnt do anything about it.

If I told him to be nicer to her, hed shout at the top of his lungs, "FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He does that to everyone

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Aww Molly....I see crazy patients all the time at my mom's nursing home. Some yell obsenities at me in the hall way when I go to visit her....and I'm just a visitor. One woman even grabbed my arm and wouldn't let it go. I couldn't imagine being a nurse or nurses aide there. My roomate is a nurse at a nursing home and she tells me insane stories about what she deals with at work (plus the nurses are catty to top it off)....

That must be a very difficult job. My mom's old roomate was soooo nasty. All she did was complain and curse and call the African-American nurses aids n*ggers to their faces....

Once my mom started talking we dicovered that someone had been "touching her." It turned out to not be one of the staff members but a resident who has a history of being touchy feely with the younger femal residents. My mom is 55, but looks like she's in her late thirties. He also sexually harasses the nurses and aides......why he's still there I don't know....but we are moving my mom to a different nursing home....one that's more like a rehab hospital, because she is still doing much better and is conversing with everyone. She still wants to go back to graduate school and become a professor. Plus we don't like creepy old men with Alzheimer's being around my mom......

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Wynne my worst resident called me a stupid ass today. I said thank you with a smile on my face and it made her shut up :lol:

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Wynne my worst resident called me a stupid ass today. I said thank you with a smile on my face and it made her shut up :lol:

Is that you in your avatar, Molly? :lol:

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