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My acne is pretty bad, but I started the regimen 4 days ago, so hopefully it will just get better from here. Anyway, I have a friend named Ashlynn who is complicated. I guess she says what's on her mind. She's the kind of person who will tell you to take a shower if you smell. So we were talking on AIM last night when she asked me if she could ask me a question that was "sensitive but based solely on friendship" (or so she says). I didn't think anything of it, and told her to go ahead. She then proceeded to ask me if I was going to do anything about my acne problem, because she thinks it looks bad. HELLO?! I've been trying!! She, of course, has clear skin, and doesn't understand. I didn't tell her I was upset, but I just wish she wouldn't have brought it up. Now I won't feel comfortable talking to her in person. My point is, am I overreacting by being a little hurt? Has this happened to any of you? Help me, please!

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No true friend would ever sucker punch a friend like that. You're not overreacting. I would just explain to her how hurt your feelings are; or if you prefer revenge, make fun of an equally sensitive part of her.

What kind of name is Ashlynn anyway? :D

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i would be extreeeemely hurt if someone said that to my face. but also from the way u describe her, she doesn't seem to care about offending people. if she's a friend i doubt she said it to hurt ur feelings. she probably means well but that's still an assholish thing to say. :confused:

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Thanks all of you guys! I don't think I'll say anything to her, after all, I did say she could ask. Perhaps I'll just keep on the regimen and show her that I am 'doing something about it'. Revenge sounds pretty righteous right now, but I know that it will just come back to bite me later. *Sigh*

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ummm actually i have been in ashlynn's position before.

when i was 15 one of my friends had what i thought to be poor hygiene.

basically this girl had very strong BO and i noticed she always wore the same clothes. she was also smart, funny and kind and when i heard people making fun of her behind her back it rilly pissed me off. I figured the best thing to do was to tell her as gently as possible. (had already offerred her perfume)

it turns out my friend had a hormonal imbalance that made her sweat about 5 times more than your average person; due to the fact that she was obese(also caused by her hormones) and that her family was not so well off, she could not find many clothes that fit her, nor could she buy as many clothes as the other kids.

yup i felt like an ass, but my true intent was to help her. sometimes people think that a real friend will always tell u the truth; however i was ignorant of the girls medical problem and ashlynn was ignorant about what causes acne

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I think she could've worded it much more tactfully & not assumed you haven't tried to do something about it. You should tell her she hurt your feelings & educate her a bit on acne. Tell her all you have tried & that it isn't so simple. That might make her think before she speaks next time.

You're not overreacting at all. I would be hurt by that. Try & remember she thinks she is helping, but also let her know she really wasn't helping at all.

I've had people make comments in the past & I let them know they didn't know what they were talking about. I told them they had no idea what I've tried & they don't know what it is like to have skin like mine. They usually shut up after that.

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I would try to act like it wouldn't bother me. But if she persists to bother you with it confront her about it. or do w.e u want im not so great at advice...awkward situations suck lol. hope the regimen works!

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My friend once asked what I use for my acne and I told her Benzoyl Peroxide. She then asked if I was SURE that benzoyl peroxide is OK for using on the face (.....I'm pretty sure she was thinking of hydrogen peroxide..).

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..i think it depends on how it was said, of course you were upset because she noticed it and asked you..all of a sudden you were pushed out of your comfort zone.. it happened to me before so i really know how you felt but i think she meant no harm in asking you.. but from all out of this it made me realize that yes i do have bad skin and its time to do something about it.. anyways people who never suffered from acne will never understand how it feels...

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It sounds like your friend has a bit of a biatchitude! lol! I just found that word and it seems to fit well.

Anyhow....I don't think your friend needed to be so blunt about it. I would feel quite upset and embarrassed if someone did that to me.

My mum has about as much tact as your friend - she'll say to me 'what have you done to your face? It's a mess!' and she'll say that in a crowded mall. The way I respond is to say something along the lines of 'Don't you think I already know that? Well, I do. I feel bad enough about it as it is and I don't need you making comments to make me feel even worse.'

Maybe tell your friend something similar and basically it's upsetting enough for you as it is. If she's a good friend, when she knows your acne is a sensitive subject for you, she should be more careful about how she words things.

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Maybe she is just trying to help but I think pointing out that its "BAD" is rather rude. I think she could have been nicer about it.

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Because she used the word "bad," she looks really bad. I had a friend in HS who always tried to help me with my acne. He would just ask me what cleanser I'm using and recommend me something he used that he liked. He was kind of annoying at times but his intentions were good.

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