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Kiwi006

Kiwi006's Accutane Account

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Hey Kels it's Rikki. I changed my acne.org account so this is my new one. Just wanted to say hey and tell you that you are BEAUTIFUL! I hope i can talk to you again soon..don't worry love this will all pass in time. You are an amazing girl.

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Guest ready2Bclear

Hey kiwi- sorry about your relationship problems....dont know how serious it was..but maybe you'll get back together. OR maybe he doesnt deserve you..and you have a couple months left of tane till your beautifully clear and then you'll haev to beat guys off with a stick cuz your "clear and confident" ; ) hope your skin is really improving though.

I started my tane today. (was suppose to start last monday, but my derms dad died and she was out of the country! hahahaha just my luck) But I started yay! and I'll start a log as soon as I have time to get some pics up. I bought some aquaphor stuff tonight though..and umm its like straight vaseline...people seriousley put that on their face?!! its so thick and greasy.....i can't even try to put it on my face....I can't see how that wouldnt clog your pores....???? have you seen that stuff?! whast your opinion on it??

take care! tons of luck to you!

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Oh hun....I am not going to tell you not to get down or whatever, because that's part of healing. But remember - you are freakin' beautiful, and any acne you have doesn't change that (despite the fact that I can't see ANY in your pics...). Boys are stupid - and you are 19 - and you will probably have a lot more hurt, and do your own fair share of hurting. But that's all part of learning and growing and developing who you are. You will be okay. I know it. And when you get your confidence back in a couple weeks/months, you might even feel excited to be single - to get to experience new things, get to know new people, have the butterflies that come with a first kiss...so hang in there, sweetie! PM me if you need anything.

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Day 32..

-Thank you guys allllll so much for your kind comments!!! They really do mean so much to me, right now is a super difficult time for me, and I cant tell you how happy I felt when I saw all your messages..Thanks youuuu!-

elizabethmargot-Hey hun =) Thanks so much for stopping by with support..I hope youre doing well! Are things getting better for you yet?

ready2Bclear-Good luck with your course! I use Carmex on my lips, thanks to a suggestion by nique, and it works great..The best stuff Ive tried by far..And for my face, right now Im using the Aveeno Ultra Calming Moisturizer during the day, and the Aveeno Ultra Calming Cream at night..im not too crazy about the moisturizer, but I love the night time stuff! I would never put vaseline right on my face, I would be super paranoid about it breaking me out! Let me know what you decide on!

kind-of-wonderful-Hey lovely =) Thanks for all of your support! I really really really do appreciate it..All I can do is sit around and wait to see what happens I guess! Hows your course going so far? Ive been all consumed with my problems, but how are yours? Haha, well Ill find your log soon and see whats up!

rayodeluz-Hey you =) Thank you also for stopping by!! How is your course going? Have you gotten any side effects/results yet? Good luck!

Phew!! Well, today is day 32..I think it should be like 35 or 36, but I had to miss some days because of the gay iPledge crap..Anyways, things have been going alright..Ive been so consumed with other problems lately that my face has been one of the farthest things from my mind..Which maybe isnt a bad thing? Things with the boyfriend, Im so confused and just cant even talk about it right now, I dont know what the Hell is going on..But once I figure things out Ill definately post about it, just because its such a huge part of my life, I cant NOT talk about it..But back to my face..I had my derm appt on Monday..He probably talked to me for a total of 2 minutes..Wrote me another months prescription for 40mg a day, and said next time he will probably raise my dosage..My face has been getting more dry everyday..My nose is peeling on the inside! I contribute that to the massive amounts of nose blowing from crying Ive had over the past few days, and Im sure that Accutane isnt helping matters..Also, like every pimple I get, when it goes away it leaves a white scab..And they take FOREVER to go away..And the majority of the time they will like fall half off, so they are just like hanging off of my face, which is so nasty, so then I just peel them the rest of the way off..And then I get like a weird huge red pore or something? I have no idea..I dont know whats worse, that or a scab? My chin is stillllll breaking out in random small spots daily, ugh I really wish that would stop though..Other than that, things have been going pretty smoothly I think..I just cant wait for the end of this course! I want to be clear already! As Im sure does everyone =) Guys thanks again though, so so so much, I love you all to death!

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Hey Kiwi

I posted this about headaches, I was just wondering if you got any:

Hey

I'm doing OK, but last night I started getting a kinda bad headache. And I NEVER get headaches. So of course my mom started freaking out. I think I want to lower my dose to just 40mg for a longer time. It'll prob be more beneficial. But I have to talk to my derm first. Today I'm supposed to take two 40mg pills, but I might just take one...Have you had any headaches?

That was a few days ago, and since then I've been taking 40mg a day, and I've had no more headaches. I still haven't talked to my derm though about lowering the dose, she's so hard to get ahold of!

I hope you're feeling better! If college has taught me anything, it's definitely not to fret over boys so much! Hugs

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Day 35..

rayodeluz-I have gotten a couple of headaches about a few hours after taking my pill, but they have subsided now..I think my body was just getting used to it, it took a few days, but I havent had any lately! I know what you mean about your derm! Mine is very hard to get ahold of as well, kinda sucky!

So..day 35! 5 weeks down, 19 more to go! I would be kind of excited about this 5 week mark, but my skin has been being stupid the last couple of days..Today and yesterday my face has been EXTREMELY oily..AGAIN! My face was oily for like the first two and a half weeks or so, and since then it has been a little dry, but not oily at all..Then yesterday it was like BOOM! And today again, makes me kind of sad..Like whats going on? Also I got a huge monster on my right cheek again yesterday =( Its starting to turn white, which makes it even morrrrre attractive..LAME..I hadnt gotten a larger pimple in probably a week, so I was kind of crossing my fingers I wouldnt get anymore..Guess not =( I picked a smaller one on my forehead yesterday, probably out of frustration with my oily face and huge cheek one..And now theres a very red, nasty scab there..Oh well, lucky me my bangs at least cover that one ha =) My nose and cheeks have been very pink/red lately, Im kind of worried Im started to get rosacea? I know it can be hereditary and my mom has it..So Im a little worried about that? My lips have been soooo annoying lately, I feel like how I did when I first started my course..I wonder if its because I skipped like 4 days because of iPledge? I dont know if that could be it, but it makes me wonder..Uhh not much else to say I guess..My face is pretty clear at the moment except for the scab on my forehead and the biotch on my cheek..I have tons of small ones on my chin though, STILL! When will they ever leave..Well this next portion is going to be about my boyfriend..For now Im done with the skin talk, so if youd like to keep reading go ahead =) Time for personal life information..

Last weekend my boyfriend was saying all these things to me like "Oh I dont know if I want a gf right now and I just feel like we are too young to be so commited" and crap like that..Well I pretty much took that as him breaking up with me, like if he doesnt know if he wants a gf, that probably means he doesnt right? Well we talked about it, and he said he was just trying to be totally honest with me and that was the way he felt..He said he doesnt want to lose me and couldnt stand thinking of me with someone else, and theres no one else he wants to be with..He said he loves me more than anything and theres nothing about me he doesnt like (yeah right ha) and that he just needs a little space and some more time with his friends..Well, I tried giving him space all week, I didnt call him or text him..And it was kind of funny, he started texting me all the time and calling me 2-5 times a day..So hmm..I think he misses the attention from me? I dont know, things arent the way they were before, I feel like I need to have my guard up a little bit..but Im sure anyone would feel that way after the things he said..I know hes making an effort to make things be back to normal, and Im so so so happy hes been calling me and coming over to see me a lot..I guess only time will tell what will happen, but I think for the moment things are alright..Thanks again for all of you being there for me! I really appreciate it =)

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Hello cuteness. Thanks for writing in my log...yes, I'm still super frustrated with my cheeks, BUT - knock wood, cross fingers - I do only have the one bump on my left side (& red marks, of course, but fuck 'em), and it is under the skin and pretty unnoticeable under makeup. I'm PRAYING that it stays that way, because truthfully, that's the clearest it has been since I started my IB. Anyway, I'm so glad you are feeling better about the boyfriend sitch - you don't need anymore stress in your life right now! And boys are good at dishing it out..;) Luckily, they are also good for other things too! ;) Hee hee. Hope you're having a great weekend! - E :)

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Hi Kiwi I wish I was past the one-month mark already :)

Im sure your skin is gonna clear up great!

As for your boyfriend, don't worry about that. My bf has been telling me forever now he needs space "to be himself" with the "boys"... Which means he wants to go out with them WITOUT me there.. I took a loonnggg time to accept it, but I realise now we all need a bit alone time even though it sucks lol.. Some people just need more space than others, otherwise they feel suffocated.. And really men act so stupid when they alone together lol they need that umm "caveman" time. It's a great sign though that he started calling u so much.. It just shows he really cares about u and didnt want u to take what he said the wrong way.. We girls r too sensitive sometimes... ;)

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Day 38..

Leily-Thanks for the boy support! Good to know Im not the only one whos been told those things haha..Hows your course going? How far in are you? Good luck!

elizabethmargot-Hey hun! Thanks for dropping by =) Im glad to hear your youre making progress! Yes..boys do cause so much stress, but I like to think its worth it haha..Hope your week is off to a good start =)

So..day 38! My face is so eww lately, I just hate it =( Im guessing I was getting clogged pores on my chin? Well, one of them had been hurting soo bad the past few days, so last night I just couldnt take it anymore and squeezed it..a really, really hard white chunk came out of it, and then it started to bleed..Dude, it bled and bled and bled! Now this morning I have a nice red circle there..Ahh, hopefully that will go soon..but I learned my lesson, no more squeezing! Also, the big monster I had on my right cheek..Well, I was determined to leave it alone, and I did..But today in the shower, it must have popped..I dont know if it was because of the warm water or what, but I got out of the shower and all of the white was gone! That made me excited..BUT, now theres still a red lump there? Ugh..I just fricken hate it! My face looks so crappy today =( And another thing, in some areas (like the top of my cheeks and forehead) are sooo dry and flakey, while other areas (my lower cheeks and nose) are sooo oily! ANNOYING! I thought this far in I would at least have some consistency? I know Im not THAT far in, but more than a month..Boo I dont know, sorry I just feel like complaining today I guess..Ive only worn liquid foundation like 3 or 4 times since I started Accutane..And really, I think I want to start wearing it again..I cant stand the redness to my face, and the red hole on my chin as well! I just really hope the one on my cheek goes down now..It turned into a huge whitehead, but now the white is gone..But still a red lump? Does that mean its healing? I just really hope it doesnt flare up again..That was probably the worst spot Ive had since I started..Im crossing my fingers thats the last one of that maginitude Ill get! Well, on a positive note, my left cheek and forehead have both been clear for about a week now =) Hopefully I didnt just jinx myself by saying that..But eh, time to get ready for work I suppose..Hope everyones doing ok in Accutane Land!

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Day 40..

kind-of-wonderful-Hey lady =) I think things are getting better! Im keeping my fingers crossed anyways!

Well hey, its day 40! I remember when I started my course, I thought I would be totally clear at day 50..Mmm yeah well see if that happens ha, I can hope right? My face is actually getting better, well I think so anyways..Waaaay better than it was the last time I posted, which was only like 2 days ago..Its crazy how much your skin can change in a matter of days! Well the big one that popped on my cheek is slowly going down..Its almost flat now, but its still very red, and from a distance it still looks like a big pimple..Oh well, at least its leaving! I still have the scab on my chin from when I squeezed a clogged pore..Oopsy =) That one is pretty ugly, I wonder how long til the scab falls off..Im trying really hard not to peel it off, as Im sure that would make it worse? Other than those 2 spots, my face is pretty good =) Im keeping my fingers crossed I dont get any more big spots..That would make me pretty damn happy! My skin looks sooo nice and smooth and soft like right after a shower, but then like an hour later it just looks dull and shiney? Ive noticed Im not really oily though? I dont know whats with the shine? Theres really nothing there when I touch it..Kind of weird..My lips though, omg they have been KILLING me the past few days! This morning was the first morning since like the first week of my course that I woke up to peeling lips..Ewww, not fun..Then after my shower I slathered on more Carmex, and it burns =( My derm I think is not the smartest with Accutane things..I know if he raises my dosage itll probably be to 80mg..Im pretty sure he doesnt realize there are different amounts you can take other than multiples of 40mg! Ahhh I just dont like him..I really wouldnt want to be on 80mg a day..That just sounds like way too much, and my lips are already driving e crazy..I couldnt imagine what they would be like then! I still have like 2 and a half weeks until my next appt..I think anyways? So I guess Ill just chill and not get too excited about it..YET! Ha, well this is way longer than I intended..Good luck everyone out there!

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Day 43..

Ahhhh 6 weeks in and Im still super frustrated =( Not cool..My face was starting to look sooo nice, I thought I was just gonna have things easy from now on..But nope..That monster I had on my right cheek last week, that popped in the shower..Well there was still a red lump there..But Friday night it seemed to be going away..Well, I woke up this morning with a HUGE whitehead in the exact same spot!!!! Im soooo upset, I fricken hate whiteheads..I never want to pop them because Im scared to, but they are just so horrible looking =( Plus, I havent seen my boyfriend in almost 2 weeks now because hes been at this football camp..And either tonight or tomorrow Im going to get to see him..I just really hate seeing people when I feel/look like shit..Boo..I hate waking up in the morning, seeing my face, and then being cranky for the rest of the day because of it..Its just sucky..I was complaining about it to my mom, and she goes "Well, what did you expect? To get better over night?" Noooo obviously not, but 6 weeks in I didnt think Id be dealing with spots like this..Ugh..Other than that spot though, my face is looking really nice..So I shouldnt be complaining so much, but ew its such an eye sore =( Im gonna try to pop it I think, I dont even really care if it looks worse..Or maybe in the shower itll pop again? I dont know..Just really frustrating..I have a lot of clogged pores on my chin, they look like little hard white bumps, so I think those are clogged pores? I dont think Ive ever noticed them before..But those are kind of annoying, I just really hope they dont get inflamed or anything =/ Also this morning I thought I had a huge spot coming on my temple, but I realized it was a bug bite haha..So that was relieving..Well enough of my complaining, hopefully better days are just around the corner! Good luck everyone =)

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hey kiwi...i know exactly how you feel...im day 77....just a few days ago my face went to complete crap after being good for awhile...that morning wake to the bathroom mirror is always the hardest...and just like you, my mood and wanting to see people heavily depends on my face status...i wish you the best of luck!

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Hey Kiwi

I'm sorry your face is getting worse. If it's any consolation, that little bump I wrote about absolutely erupted the next day, and since I'm a dumbass, I couldn't resist picking it, so now it looks sooo bad...

But, more excitedment, I have those white clogged pores on my chin too! I've always had them and could see them when I stuck out my chin, but I could never get them to go away. Now they're just coming out by themselves, although I did pull a few out, and they're hard too, it's weird. It's happening on my nose, exploding with blackheads I never even knew I had...which is good cuz they're coming out. Hopefully they'll stay gone from now on!

Maybe you should try my dosage, 40 then 80 alternating. I finally saw my derm and she said it's better to start high then taper off, which is contrary to what I've heard on this board (start low, work up), but it seems to be working well for me; as long as I drink enough water I don't get headaches. It makes sense I think, to gradually get your skin used to lower doses in the end so it doesn't get a big shock like it would when all of a sudden you're not on a high dose anymore.

Good luck!

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Day 46..

rayodeluz-Yeah! My clogged pores have hard white things in them too! I kind of think, like how are they gonna come out themselves if they are so hard? My chin hurt because of one of mine, so I had to squeeze it =/ I still have quite a few left though..Thanks for the suggestion about the alternating dosage, I know mine is going to get raised at my next derm appt, I just dont know how hes going to do it? But thanks for stopping by, good luck lady!

xGreyfox-Oh no! Day 77 and thats still happening? Im sorry =( I know, I really hate how just the way your face looks can totally depict your actions for the day..It sounds so hmm..I dont know how to say it? Like all you care about it what you look like..But lets admit it, its pretty noticeable when you look like crap =( Thanks for the good luck bud, I wish you only the best!

Soooo, day 46! Usually I post in the mornings, but eh, guess Ill switch it up a bit tonight..My face is doing pretty good at the moment *knock on wood* which kind of surprises me because its been 90-98 degrees here the past few days, and my work is NOT AIR CONDITIONED! I sweat like a mofo, I thought I would be breaking out like crazy..But things seem to be pretty good..Im hoping for just improvements from now on! Wouldnt that be lovely =) Probably wont be the case, but hey, I can hope right? I have a bunch of clogged pores on my chin, which are annoying but I can handle them..My forehead is also starting to break out a bit in small spots and clogges pores..That bugs me, my forehead was doing so so so good lately..But hey, at least theres no monsters! As of now anyways lol..My left cheek is still doing amazing, not one spot on it! I would be oh so depressed if that side would all of a sudden break out..Eeep, I dont wanna think about it..My right cheek also has a couple clogged pores, and one spot thats healing..Yeah, the monster that keeps coming back! I think its dead once and for all =) Now its just a lovely red mark, score! It does kind of suck though, all I wear is some loose powder, and its not great at all with covering red mark..But I can handle it I suppose! My nose! Oh my God! Around my 2-3 week mark, I noticed lots of brown ewwie stuff in my pores when I would look close, so I just figured it was them purging..Well then after another 2 weeks or so I didnt notice it anymore, so I thought it just went away..But lately, they are back! In full force! And I can see things barely sticking out of my nose (guessing blackheads?) Ive never noticed myself having blackheads ever in my life, maybe thats why theyve taken so long to start popping out? But ew, its nasty =( I hope those buggers go soon! But other than just a few minor problems, things are going smoothly right now, Im pretty happy =) But I REALLY hope nothing bad happens, I know Im not even at day 50, but ugh..It would be so nice if I had smooth sailing from here on out! Well enough of my ramblings, have a great night everyone =)

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Hey just stopping by to wish you good luck. Seems like you're doing ok. I had the hard white plugs too, I squeezed them all one day because I couldn't stand it any longer haha.

I've had such ups and downs and even having the downs at month 3 and a half. I still get the odd few spots but worse still I get red face days which totally get to me.

Hope thing continue to improve.

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Day 49..

real maverick-Hey bud! Thanks for dropping by and for the support =) Yeah those white plugs are sooo annoying, but oh well..As of right now they arent a huge concern for me haha..I hope things are going well your way! Good luck with the rest of your course!

Wow, day 49! 7 weeks down, 17 more to go! That doesnt sound too terrible..Better than say like 20 weeks left haha..But anyways, my skin has been slowly getting better *I THINK!* Not a lot to complain about the past few days..I still have clogged pores on my chin, not sure how long itll take those buggers to go away? There are about 4 of them that are starting to get pretty noticeable, especially in the sunlight..So hmph..I hope they just go away and dont become inflamed or anything like that..My forehead still has some small spots and clogged pores, but I can deal with those..Nothing too dramatic..My nose is still purging I think? Still looking nasty with blackheads or whatever those things are, I just want them gone!! I dont have to look so closely to see them anymore, you can see them in the mirror without your nose practically touching it haha..Other than that, nothing much to complain about =) It feels realllly good, I hope I dont have anymore problems, wouldnt that be nice! My cheeks are doing really well, which makes me really happy =) I cant stand when I have spots on my cheeks, I think thats the worst..I dont have any spots on them right now, a couple of clogged pores and a couple of red marks..Im starting to get excited about clear skin! I hope this isnt just like a few days of goodness and then back to crap or something, that would be depressing..I know this is pretty random, but I just thought of it yesterday..

When I was a junior in high school, I remember walking down the hall to homeroom, and the sun was so bright and shining in the windows onto everyone..I felt ashamed and tried to kind of turn my head the other way..and then all of a sudden I thought "What am I doing? I dont have acne anymore, why should I care if the sun is shining directly on me?" God, that was like the best feeling in the world..I had such bad acne from like 6th-8th grade, then it got under control with antibiotics, I was perfectly clear for like 3 years..Then my senior year it just all went to Hell..But yeah, just a random clear faced moment that popped into my head haha, I cant wait to be out in the sun and feel normal and not worry about all the bumps and shadows on my face!!! Ahhh hopefully that day will be here soon..Good luck everyone =)

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Day 52..

Face..Getting pretty dry, and some small tiny pimples by my lip..Probably stress induced..

No boyfriend anymore =( We officially ended it last night..And I know its for the best, but it still hurts like Hell..14 months with someone and then BOOM its over..Ahhh..I always thought I wanted clear skin more than anything, now I know I want HIM more than anything..It sucks so much cause I rememeber when I started Accutane I was thinking..Wow by next Thanksgiving and Christmas Ill WANT to go with Travis to family gatherings..Last year I was making all these excuses cause I didnt want people to meet me and be like eww thats your girlfriend..Just really sucky =*(

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Oh hun...you will feel differently soon. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will. You're only 19 - you have many more men ahead of you in your life! ;) Try to keep your chin up and know that you're getting that clear skin that you always wanted - lucky girl!

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Day 52..

Face..Getting pretty dry, and some small tiny pimples by my lip..Probably stress induced..

No boyfriend anymore =( We officially ended it last night..And I know its for the best, but it still hurts like Hell..14 months with someone and then BOOM its over..Ahhh..I always thought I wanted clear skin more than anything, now I know I want HIM more than anything..It sucks so much cause I rememeber when I started Accutane I was thinking..Wow by next Thanksgiving and Christmas Ill WANT to go with Travis to family gatherings..Last year I was making all these excuses cause I didnt want people to meet me and be like eww thats your girlfriend..Just really sucky =*(

Hey Kelsey! I explained my absence in my log, if you want to check that out.

I'm glad to hear that you're doing well! Just hang in there, I was getting inflamed acne until around the day 70 or something. Now, I usually just get a couple clogged pores. I think I've had like 1 inflamed pimple recently and it went away in a day or two. Just try not to think about it! Oh, and yeah, dry lips are awful. But I'm willing to put up with them lol.

As for your boyfriend, I'm really, really sorry, hun. I know that, because I'm younger than you, you probably wouldn't expect me to be able to fully sympathize with you. Maybe that's true. But, 7 years ago, I met a girl. We were kids, but we began to have crushes on each other and continued to for the next 5 years. She was the first, and the only girl that I told "I love you" to. And, honestly, even though it's been a year and a half since we ended, it still hurts when I think about her. Maybe this guy, Travis, was your first love...maybe not. I don't know you well enough to know that. But I know that it's going to be tough to let him go. It always is, even if you don't think you're in 'love'. There's a prayer..it says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Even if you're not religious, I think that has a good message. If you're choosing to let him go, then, Kelsey, relax and live life..enjoy yourself. Just have faith that something better will come along.

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Day 57..

routhman-Hey buddy!!! Ahh I almost had a heart attack when I saw you left me a comment, Ive missed you! I figured you probably got clear and just stopped coming around ha..Thanks for the support with all the crap in my personal life..It is really hard, I thought I would be with this guy seriously for the rest of my life..Thanks for leaving me something though, I really appreciate it and I really did miss you!

elizabethmargot-Hey hun! Thanks for stopping by with the nice words again =) I know, its really nice to finally be clearing up..It almost seems when one thing goes up something else goes down..How are you doing these days? Ill have to check your log out soon!

So hmm..Yesterday was the 8 week mark! Wow, time is actually going pretty fast now..I like it =) Not a whole lot going on in the face region..Things have been pretty good for like the past week or so..I seem to be getting some more under the skin bumps on my right cheek, so that has me a little concerned..Other than that, I still haev quite a few clogged pores on my chin..I had my derm appt on Friday for starting month 3..My derm said he thinks I've "turned the corner." Ahh I sure hope so!! If I would have another nasty breakout now I would just be totally depressed! I got bumped up to 60mg a day for when I start month 3..I kind of wanted to stay on 40mg for my whole course, since I barely have any side effects, and I like it that way! Oh well, I guess an extra 20mg isnt that much right? Im just worried Ill get a flare up or something..I think Ill keep taking 40mg til after next week..I have a wedding to go to on Saturday..And I would just die if I broke out right before and had been clear..Hmm that would just be my luck! I have a lot more to say, but Im just kind of beat right now, Ill add more some other time and check out everyones logs..Good luck everyone =)

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Day 57..

routhman-Hey buddy!!! Ahh I almost had a heart attack when I saw you left me a comment, Ive missed you! I figured you probably got clear and just stopped coming around ha..Thanks for the support with all the crap in my personal life..It is really hard, I thought I would be with this guy seriously for the rest of my life..Thanks for leaving me something though, I really appreciate it and I really did miss you!

I missed you too. I was so worried that you'd be mad at me for leaving you.

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That's cool that we both got bumped up to 60mg/day. It sucks cause I have to take 6 pills at a time (10 mg each, ugh! stupid pharmacy) Anyways, my derm said to expect an IB, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting one. I'm getting really red under the skin bumps that are pretty big in size, look more like welts to me. :shock: My skin has been feeling a tad bit drier also. Have fun at the wedding! Hope your skin looks gorgeous :wub:

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Day 65..

r0ck_staar-Hey thanks! My skin didnt look too shabby at the wedding, I was pretty happy..Yeah, I havent been taking my 60mg yet, I was worried for the IB and didnt want it for the wedding, and now Im just putting it off I guess haha..Well hopefully yours will subside soon, good luck!

routhman-Ha I wasnt mad at you! I was getting sort of lonely, but never mad =) Im just glad you came back!

Sooo..day 65! Wowza, thats a long time haha..So yep, onto month 3! But yeah, as I said before, I havent been taking the 60mg yet, still sticking with the 40mg..My derm prescribed me 20mgs..So Ive just been taking those 2 times a day..I suppose I should start taking the 60mg soon! I would just die though if I got an IB now..I was so lucky not to really get one when I started, I just kept breaking out as I normally would..So now if I would get one, I would be pretty depressed..Ive been depressed the past few days..Its really sinking in that me and my ex are done..It succcccks..I cant stop thinking about it..I hung out with this other guy Saturday night, and all I could do was think about my ex..Obviously I know its way too early for me to be wanting to be with other guys, but I thought seeing him would take my mind of my ex a bit..But nope, it was the total opposite =( I almost want to ask him if this is what he really wants, I know hes pretty miserable too from some texts hes sent me..But I dont want to be the one to pour my heart out to him, my luck he would be like "Well we broke up for a reason and thats how I still feel" or something like that..I know time heals everything, but right now Im just so in the dumps =( Its gonna take me so so so long to get over him, I loved him so much, and I still do..Not sure why, but I cant help it..Also, my sister and I had planned on moving out in the beginning of summer, but then she pushed it back to August because she would graduate from college then..Well, its now the middle of August and Im still living at home..I set up 2 appointments at apartments for us for Thursday night..And my sister got all mad at me..She was like "Do you really think were gonna be moved out in like 2 weeks? It takes time you know.." UGH! I just need to get out of here and like grow up and move on with my life..Why does it need to take more than 2 weeks? Im just getting so annoyed with her, she keeps moving the date for us to move out back and back..Im just so frusterated with life lately..Im so thankful my face hasnt broken out too much from all the stress..It is worse than the last time I posted, but really I do think its stress..I just have a lot going on lately =( But enough of my venting ha, I just really needed to get that all out!

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I know exactly how you feel with the boyfriend thing. Me and my boyfriend just broke up too, and we haven't even spoken or texted in over a week. (probably cause I changed my number), but he still has my home phone #. Anyways, it's really really hard, and it's harder to talk about it with other people who aren't going through the same thing. Deep down, I wanna believe it's for the best. He leads a pretty irresponsible and wreckless life, and I don't wanna be apart of that. But I do still love him and care about him, which is the sucky part. It hurts like no other, but hopefully with time... if your bf is miserable and texting you, how come you guys aren't getting back together???

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