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My Mom Is So Critical of the Way I Dress

Im so tired of my mom being so critical of the way I dress. Today my friend Megan is having a graduation party at her house. She just finished RN school. My mom and I were discussing what clothes to wear. I asked her what she was gonna wear. She goes, "Dont wear jeans! No one at that party is gonna be wearing jeans. You need to dress appropriately for the party. You want to look your age. People treat you differently when you dress up" I just dont like the way she says things. She is so blunt and shoves her opinion down my throat. I feel like she is talking down to me about the way I dress. Sometimes I totally disagree with what she is saying. You can wear fancy jeans to a party and still look nice. It depends on the jeans. I do not have that many clothes. I have a couple of skirts, some jeans, and some nice shirts. I mostly am into shoes. Anyone have this problem with their mother?

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IMO

nice jeans + nice shoes = nice outfit !!!

Don't have that problem with my mam thank god but my dad inevitably makes some comment just before I leave after spending hours getting ready.

Last time, he asked was the pregnant look in cos the top I was wearing was loose fitting and wide around the waist - aaaaaaaaah is so annoying when they comment!

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IMO

nice jeans + nice shoes = nice outfit !!!

Don't have that problem with my mam thank god but my dad inevitably makes some comment just before I leave after spending hours getting ready.

Last time, he asked was the pregnant look in cos the top I was wearing was loose fitting and wide around the waist - aaaaaaaaah is so annoying when they comment!

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Tact - thats what I was trying to say! Yep, dad very sadly lacking in tact. He's not trying to be horrible lol, but then he must know there are certain things you don't comment on.

Parents :rolleyes: !!!

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Actually, my mums the opposite really, and i hate it!!!

If i pick something up and try it on, or buy it bring it home then try it on and show her it, her lack of enthusiasm makes me feel like it doesnt look good at all.

She'll usually look at what im wearing and say "thats nice" or just looks at me and says something totally different and not to do with the clothes, then says 'oh thats nice'

Grrr its annoying!

Ive told her millions of times that i dont wanna look 'nice'

:(

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Tact - thats what I was trying to say! Yep, dad very sadly lacking in tact. He's not trying to be horrible lol, but then he must know there are certain things you don't comment on.

Parents :rolleyes: !!!

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Tact - thats what I was trying to say! Yep, dad very sadly lacking in tact. He's not trying to be horrible lol, but then he must know there are certain things you don't comment on.

Parents :rolleyes: !!!

Sometimes its not what they say so much but how they say it that bothers me. Would you say you feel that way to? I mean of all things, he didnt need to compaer you to a pregnant woman =/

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Actually, my mums the opposite really, and i hate it!!!

If i pick something up and try it on, or buy it bring it home then try it on and show her it, her lack of enthusiasm makes me feel like it doesnt look good at all.

She'll usually look at what im wearing and say "thats nice" or just looks at me and says something totally different and not to do with the clothes, then says 'oh thats nice'

Grrr its annoying!

Ive told her millions of times that i dont wanna look 'nice'

:(

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Wow that's odd, jeans can be very dressy. A nice fancy top, some dark washed jeans, and some black heels look really good, or wedge heels.

But yeah anyways, me and my mother have close to the same tastes so I never really get that from her.

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I dont even see my mom that often, she gets up at 3 or 4 am, leaves the house and doesnt come back until 6 pm the next day, i usually leave my house at 7 am, and dont come back until 7 or 8 pm, and sometimes she's already asleep when i come home.

its not fun tho that your mom makes you feel bad, u should talk to her about this.

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I think it's a generational thing. To me, it seems totally fine to wear a pair of nice dark well-fitting jeans to a party with a classy top, but I know that didn't used to be true since jean styles were overall much more casual until fairly recently. Your mom probably automatically thinks jeans = sloppy denim. You might show her pictures of celebrities wearing those nice dark skinny jeans or trouser cut jeans to events to show her the range of modern denim, or maybe you can just not use the word jeans when describing the pants you plan to wear to her.

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I think it's a generational thing. To me, it seems totally fine to wear a pair of nice dark well-fitting jeans to a party with a classy top, but I know that didn't used to be true since jean styles were overall much more casual until fairly recently. Your mom probably automatically thinks jeans = sloppy denim. You might show her pictures of celebrities wearing those nice dark skinny jeans or trouser cut jeans to events to show her the range of modern denim, or maybe you can just not use the word jeans when describing the pants you plan to wear to her.

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I agree with this. Jeans can be dressed up really easily -- they're definitely my go-to item when I'm going out somewhere and still want to feel really comfortable.

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I dont even see my mom that often, she gets up at 3 or 4 am, leaves the house and doesnt come back until 6 pm the next day, i usually leave my house at 7 am, and dont come back until 7 or 8 pm, and sometimes she's already asleep when i come home.

its not fun tho that your mom makes you feel bad, u should talk to her about this.

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I agree with this. Jeans can be dressed up really easily -- they're definitely my go-to item when I'm going out somewhere and still want to feel really comfortable.

Same here.

I love my black skinny jeans :wub:

Wear them casually to go shopping in with black ballet pumps, or dress them up with some heels or wedges

Love em!

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I totally boss my daughter on what to wear but she is only 7. Something about being a mom seems to give us the need to voice our opinions or force them on our kids. On the weekends, I tend to let her pick out her own clothes and she is doing quite well most of the time coordinating outfits. I am sure your mom means well.

When I was younger, everybody always thought I had so many clothes but in reality, I had alot of white shirts for work. Now, I have oodles of clothes, too many and sometimes forget what I have.

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Ah, I wish I had black skinny jeans! I've been searching high and low for a pair, though I have found one they're too expensive for me to buy right now :(

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Ah, I wish I had black skinny jeans! I've been searching high and low for a pair, though I have found one they're too expensive for me to buy right now :(

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That’s horrible, I’m glad my mum isn’t like that. Chances are she’s not doing it on purpose, it’ll be a generation thing. Maybe you two could go shopping together that way she can see for herself how things like jeans and stuff can be dressed up. My mother and I have very much the same tastes with clothes, there’s been more then one occasion when I’ve gone to visit or she’s come to visit and goes on to show me what she’s just brought and I have the exact same outfit hanging up in my wardrobe. It gets rathe annoying actually.

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I love dressing up with dark jeans. . .My mom is usually the person I go to when I'm not sure something looks right. She only really criticizes when colors don't look right or match or when my skirt/shorts are too short.

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"Yeah tone is everything. Mam would never comment on my clothes but what she does is look at my skin for a few minutes while we're eating lunch or something and then ask in a 'I'm being nice' kinda voice if I'm stressed out at the moment or if I need more supplements. "

OMG I KNOW. i mean, this was a few months before when my acne was pretty bad.. my mom would only stare at my face when we are eating lunch. she tries not to make it obvious but COM'ON, I AINT 10 ANYMORE. i HATE it when she does that and she always asks me why im breaking out so much and if i was using something bad. i mean.. ok, mother, i know you care bout me and love me but sometimes, its better not to make any comments bout how one looks when ones already so freaking sensitive and conscious about it. AH!!!!

she doesnt do it anymore since my face is getting better but man, i had to get that out. its been sitting on my mind for awhile. feels darn good. :dance:

but back to ur original question, im sorry to hear that ur mom makes comments like that :( my mom USED to make comments about clothes i bought back in high school but my style has changed a lot for the past years and she actually likes the way i dress now and tries to steal my clothes that sort of fit her. i totally know how u feel tho, its so freakin annoying when they say things like that. and yes, it is THE WAY they say it.

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"Dont wear jeans! No one at that party is gonna be wearing jeans. You need to dress appropriately for the party. You want to look your age. People treat you differently when you dress up"

Firstly, who the hell cares how you're treated? Anyone with an independent, functional brain doesn't act differently toward anyone, especially at a party for crying out loud, based on how they feel about your choice of clothing. My mom used to say that kind of stuff too. Then she realized I didn't care about how the world perceived me, because I had self respect, and respected others, and I mean, c'mon it's all just clothing. As long as you're a hygenic & sane human being, I don't think a whole heck of a lot of people will treat you differently in this world... and if they do.. they just don't count, y'know?

I think it's definitely a generational difference, at least in part. Women back in the day frequently dressed up for parties, and more often than not, had that "what will the neighbors think?" sort of mentality in everyday life.

I'm 22 years old, and still, occasionally my mother will revert to her prior overbearing, opinionated habits, and nag me about what I'm wearing, or say something snide, or just plain negative about it. She's more outspoken these days about my hair (I keep it very short, pixie-like, and will get different variations to it every so often). She raised me in cutesy dresses and hair almost to my knees (bows and pigtails...), and I certainly don't fit her standard of what she believes to be acceptable as far as feminine hair length goes. Generational there, most certainly. Drives me nuts. But I don't feel bad. I love the way I look, and always feel presentable no matter where I am. I just laugh at her, because it's simple ignorance. Sometimes I'll stop her mid-sentence, and point out to her that what she's saying, and howshe is saying it to me, is just plain rude and disrespectful, and if I'd said anything like that to her, or to anyone else, she'd have been mortified... because she raised me, like most kids with that saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." And I've always done my best to uphold that. Sometimes parents, no matter how old you get, will forget to practice what they've preached.

Next time your mum says something that may make you feel bad, think about how she'd react if she heard you say it. Point that out to her, very calmly. Sometimes it can make all the difference, because it's kinda like forcing them to stand in your shoes...

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call me the odd woman out, but it's kind of like the old adage, "over dressed is better than under dressed." whether or not you agree, i think etiquette is kind of important and something that's slowly dissipating in our generation.

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i'm almost 34 and my mom's criticisms still sting at times. read this excerpt from the book You're Wearing That?: Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, it will help:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12689633/

Bottom line - be confident in yourself. learn how to use the mute button on your mom. i have and it's helped to keep the pace and insure my sanity.

Good luck :P

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