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Dionysus

Am I stuck in the friends category?

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When I was working at my former job, I met a female co-worker and we would spend the whole night talking at work. For the five months that I worked with her we sorta became friends. I have fallen in love with her and I want to marry her. I quit that job about two months ago. Since leaving the job I have only seen her a couple of times (due to our scheduels), once we went out for dinner and today we went out today for coffee and a drive.

She is really friendly and flirty so I never know if she has any romantic feelings for me or its just her personality. She once told me that she wished a guy like me was around when she was 18, and today as we parted she said I cheered he up and that she loves me (though she tells everyone that she loves them).

Do you think I have been delegated to the friends category or still stand a chance if I tell her how I feel? Also I am talking her to the Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill concert in June, which should be romantic should I tell her that night or sooner?

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I would probably not just come right out and tell you that you love her and want to marry her, since regardless of how she actually feels about you, that's going to be shocking, maybe upsetting, almost certainly confusing. Going from a couple of friendly outings to declarations of love, it's just a lot to handle on her part and her initial reaction might be bad. Try to take her out more on some romantic dates, cheesy things like bringing her roses and taking her to a nice restaurant, watching movies together at your place, having a picnic at a place with a beautiful view, you get the idea. You need to make some gestures to make it clear that you're not just interested in her on a friends-only basis and see how she feels. If she's reluctant to go on more intimate, romantic outings, then you might have a problem, but probably better to get rejected because she thinks of you as a friend before you pour your heart out to her than to get rejected because you shocked her by moving too fast.

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Well she once told me if I ever met a girl I wanted to marry just ask her? I should have said it then but I didn't. She is kind of crazy that way so it might not be as big of a shock to her as one would expect.

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It's a tough call, but all any of us to do is offer our own speculations. If you're feeling bold, talk to her about how you feel. Or just test the waters and start going out on more romantic outings with her.

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...

Do you think I have been delegated to the friends category or still stand a chance if I tell her how I feel? Also I am talking her to the Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill concert in June, which should be romantic should I tell her that night or sooner?

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Well Wynne wanted an update. So her it is

Things are definetly not going as good as I hopped or planned. Unfortuantly the girl I have been talking about got a new job a few months ago and has been working out of town so I have onle seen her once in like the past 2 motnhs.. We did go to the concert a montha ago, but everytime I try to tell her how i feel I lose my words cause I am affraid that if she doesn't feel the same way that it will destroy our friendship and I will lose her.

I did finally talked to her last night after she was away for a month and I was going to go to the movies with her, her brother and his girlfriend but that fell through. I called her again today and left a voicemail to find out if she was free this weekend. I want to tell her as soon as possible how I feel because her not knowing is driving me crazy

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Darn it. I really figured you as a shoo-in. I would not rush too quickly into a declaration without having a few more 'dates', ok? If you continue to ask her out, and she continues to accept, that will give her the idea that you're interested. :)

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I don't know, I'd just say be careful. A few months ago my best guy friend, of 7 years, just came out and said he was in love with me. It completely knocked the wind out of me and shocked me and made things weird. I didn't feel the same way. Our friendship got really unsteady and we really haven't talked much since. I think it would have been better if he had made some smaller gestures to clue me in, so I could see it coming and figure out how I felt, than just blurting it out one day.

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aww i know how you feel. i got the same feelings for someone i talk to online! shanon will you marry me? :pray: (i'm serious :D)

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I just recieved a txt message saying that she was going to call me monday night, so we'll see how that goes.

Update to the whole txt message thing

Her: I promise I will call monday night

Me: I look foward to your call. Sorry, if I have been sounding creepy stalkerish

Her: I think you are aswesome

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Hmm you might very well be on the friends ladder. It sounds likely after hearing what you have to say. You might be reasonable high up on the friends ladder but not sure about that ;o. If so it might be easier to jump ladder but the fall is so much harder if you miss. You can try being friends and waiting and waiting but that just sux too much to be worth it imo(at least that's my experience). Just give it a shot.

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well if you don't do anything you're stuck in the friend zone anyway, just tell her how you feel (perhaps omitting the marriage and love part) but just that you'd like to be more than friends for a start, if she says no, then ce leve, least you gave it a shot. Jack shit will happen if you don't, unless you're waiting for her to ask you

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When I was working at my former job, I met a female co-worker and we would spend the whole night talking at work. For the five months that I worked with her we sorta became friends. I have fallen in love with her and I want to marry her. I quit that job about two months ago. Since leaving the job I have only seen her a couple of times (due to our scheduels), once we went out for dinner and today we went out today for coffee and a drive.

She is really friendly and flirty so I never know if she has any romantic feelings for me or its just her personality. She once told me that she wished a guy like me was around when she was 18, and today as we parted she said I cheered he up and that she loves me (though she tells everyone that she loves them).

Do you think I have been delegated to the friends category or still stand a chance if I tell her how I feel? Also I am talking her to the Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill concert in June, which should be romantic should I tell her that night or sooner?

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You wnat to marry someone you've never had anything with besides a friendship. My advice, perhaps try being her boyfriend for a while before you start talking about marriage. Sorta friends is a far cry from even sorta going out......Marriage is unspeakably far away!

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When you are with her, try making some romantic gestures so she gets the vibe that you view your time together as a "date". By romantic gestures I don't mean buying her stuff, but your words, treatment, and even the way you look at her. Try taking her somewhere that is obviously kind of romantic; it doesn't have to be fancy or expensive either.

If she responds favorably to that, then try physical stuff like holding her hand & just small touches on her waist & things like that. If she allows that then try to kiss her. This is how you can slowly evolve the relationship to something more. You can do this in 3 dates or less.

I have a guy friend who came to visit me & he let me know subtly he was interested in being more than friends. Just small things he would say. I then let him know I was not interested. No one got hurt, because no one put themselves out there too much, just enough to make intentions clear. We're still friends & he has had a gf in the meantime & I was genuinely happy for him.

There are no such thing as friend zones that you can never escape either; these theories are from men who really have no idea how women work :D. Feelings are not so black & white & are not set in stone. I know real people who were friends for a long time & one was never interested while the other was, and then one day circumstances & feelings changed & they ended up married.

Just keep in mind that she may not feel the same way. The best way to find out is to let her know how you feel through subtle actions & words, not overwhelming her with declarations of love.

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borgetti...don't be a jerk. it sounds to me like he has a very good chance from the things he has written on here. where do you get off saying he wants to "bang the #&$%@% out of her". I don't recall him saying that.

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2nd. I couldn't believe when i read this part " i have fallen in love with her and i want to marry her" your confusing love with lust you just want to bang the sh1t out of her thats all. honostly do you really ACTUALLY KNOW what kind of girl she is?

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I didn't read all the replies but this is my .02

At first, I would say your just friends and nothing more because after 5 MONTHS of not saying anything what do you expect? But you said she's a mother and has a son so she's mature probably I'm guessing so it might actually work out.

Just ask her upfront if to her they are in a relationship because you don't know how she feels. If it's just friends it doesn't matter a big deal because you're not working together anymore =D

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There are no such thing as friend zones that you can never escape either

its a very slim chance at best. don't give the guy a false sense of hope.

I have a guy friend who came to visit me & he let me know subtly he was interested in being more than friends. Just small things he would say. I then let him know I was not interested. No one got hurt, because no one put themselves out there too much, just enough to make intentions clear

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