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ilovelife

Online Dating Site Dillema!!! help!!

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I need your help guys! See heres the thing. I've recently joined an online dating site and I've posted a couple of my pictures there. I must say that I really look good on these pics but I feel like I'm cheating. I feel like I'm cheating because they haven't seen my real skin and people are messaging me and telling me how cute or attractive I am. Now I think to myself...what if they see me in person and they see my acne scars? I don't have much acne anymore because I took accutane last february but the scars I think they're getting bigger and I'm obssessing about them lately! Now these scars...they're not bad at all and they can be covered with makeup...but for some reason I really feel like I haven't really shown who I am. And it makes me nervous to think that if I meet up with people I met online that they're goin to think 'oh...that's probably why she's dating online cause she's got acne scars' or 'she's not that pretty in person'or something like that! I feel like people will expect me to be perfect ...but I'm worried that when they see me in person they're going to be disappointed!! I really don't know how I'm perceived. People who knows me in real life they tell me I'm pretty but I've always had doubts about it!!!!! Help me pls! Your opinions are highly appreciated!

ilovelife

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Guest T-Virus

It's the internet. Does it really matter if those perverts don't approve of your skin?

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Well, aside from telling them before you meet them, "BTW I have acne scars," I don't think there is a whole lot you can do. If you're going to meet them, then do so. Most of the time, even if your first impression of someone is bad when you meet them, their personality will make up for it and you forget about it. Especially if it's just scarring. Now if you were worried about some massive breakouts that were pussing all over the place, you'd be in a different predicament, IMHO.

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Well just put in your "About me" section that you break out... If they like you enough to meet you then they shouldn't really care about your acne.

People lie.... It's a dating site.... Don't feel guilty.

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TXToaster...I dont think theres anything pathetic a bout online dating at all. I've tried other ways to meet other people too. And this might actually be better since you can screen people out before meeting them or interacting with them. I'm not just lookin to get laid or hook up with people! I actually mentioned that on my profile. Yours on the other hand is pathetic because you're paying people to get what you want to gratify your lusts!!!

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thanks a lot for your responses!

jenn221..thanks for your opinion! Im not breakin out at all right now...thank God. but really these scars bother me but i guess im also just makin such a big deal of it. i obssess a lot so i dont know if its just me. theyre not that noticeable but if you really look so closely i think you can see them. Other than that, im not breakin out at all. and im not one of those people who gets really huge cystic pimples!

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I think most people (guys) on dating sites dont have high standards so I dont think they would care about your acne scars. Or there are ones that have really high standards because they watched too much porno and would expect a girl like jenna jameson. In any case, try it out and see how it is. And tell us how it was so I can try it out too :dance:

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I need your help guys! See heres the thing. I've recently joined an online dating site and I've posted a couple of my pictures there. I must say that I really look good on these pics but I feel like I'm cheating. I feel like I'm cheating because they haven't seen my real skin and people are messaging me and telling me how cute or attractive I am. Now I think to myself...what if they see me in person and they see my acne scars? I don't have much acne anymore because I took accutane last february but the scars I think they're getting bigger and I'm obssessing about them lately! Now these scars...they're not bad at all and they can be covered with makeup...but for some reason I really feel like I haven't really shown who I am. And it makes me nervous to think that if I meet up with people I met online that they're goin to think 'oh...that's probably why she's dating online cause she's got acne scars' or 'she's not that pretty in person'or something like that! I feel like people will expect me to be perfect ...but I'm worried that when they see me in person they're going to be disappointed!! I really don't know how I'm perceived. People who knows me in real life they tell me I'm pretty but I've always had doubts about it!!!!! Help me pls! Your opinions are highly appreciated!

ilovelife

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You also have to figure that you are probably not the only one 'fudging' on your pictures. So the people that you meet are probably stressing out just as much as you are about the way they look.

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Guest Cubsfan

Its not whats underneath you, its what you do that defines you.

I think, I do, I feel, therefore I am.

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As long as your photos are really you & not majorly photoshopped, don't worry about it.

If your skin doesn't show up badly in photos, it is probably not that bad & is worse in your head. You have every right to put flattering photos up. No one would showcase their worst photos (and everyone has bad photos of themself).

I did the dating site thing for awhile & agonized over my skin & my braces. In photos & with makeup my acne hardly even showed up, even without photoshop. I do not smile with my mouth open in photos cuz I've never liked my teeth. I made the decision to not mention these things unless they naturally came up, cuz there is no real reason to. Those things do not define me as a person.

I don't think it is lying or deceiving because you do not divulge every single flaw about yourself. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first. You don't describe every character flaw, so why describe every physical flaw?

The photos are there to give a general overview of your appearance. No matter how accurate a photo, you never know exactly how someone looks til you see them in person, moving & speaking with all their different angles.

DO NOT mention your skin in your description. It will only make you seem overly self-conscious, self-absorbed, boring, negative, and insecure. If you don't make it a big deal, it won't seem like such a big deal to other people.

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And there's nothing wrong about online dating. I met my husband online. Granted, it wasn't a dating site but through some nerdy conversation in a chatroom, but we're going on two years married in June.

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umm if your hiding the whole thing about acne scars and thats bothering you then uhh don't meet them until your acne scars disappear or never meet them mwuahdkgjaksg.

or meet som1 in real life that sees your face with the scars and still thinks your sexy

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TXToaster...I dont think theres anything pathetic a bout online dating at all. I've tried other ways to meet other people too. And this might actually be better since you can screen people out before meeting them or interacting with them. I'm not just lookin to get laid or hook up with people! I actually mentioned that on my profile. Yours on the other hand is pathetic because you're paying people to get what you want to gratify your lusts!!!

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As long as your photos are really you & not majorly photoshopped, don't worry about it.

If your skin doesn't show up badly in photos, it is probably not that bad & is worse in your head. You have every right to put flattering photos up. No one would showcase their worst photos (and everyone has bad photos of themself).

I did the dating site thing for awhile & agonized over my skin & my braces. In photos & with makeup my acne hardly even showed up, even without photoshop. I do not smile with my mouth open in photos cuz I've never liked my teeth. I made the decision to not mention these things unless they naturally came up, cuz there is no real reason to. Those things do not define me as a person.

I don't think it is lying or deceiving because you do not divulge every single flaw about yourself. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first. You don't describe every character flaw, so why describe every physical flaw?

The photos are there to give a general overview of your appearance. No matter how accurate a photo, you never know exactly how someone looks til you see them in person, moving & speaking with all their different angles.

DO NOT mention your skin in your description. It will only make you seem overly self-conscious, self-absorbed, boring, negative, and insecure. If you don't make it a big deal, it won't seem like such a big deal to other people.

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And there's nothing wrong about online dating. I met my husband online. Granted, it wasn't a dating site but through some nerdy conversation in a chatroom, but we're going on two years married in June.

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Honestly if you're so bothered by your pictures, then mix them up a bit. Post the pretty ones, but also post those that reflect your true appearance a little more accurately, if it makes you feel better.

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everyone lies a little on the net. and technically those pictures are of you.

dun worry about it.

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I joined an online dating site a couple of weeks ago - here's my perspective.

Put up your best picture! It doesn't matter if it doesn't show your acne scars. If it is a picture of you and hasn't been photoshopped, there is nothing to feel guilty about. When it comes to online dating most people will judge your first by your picture and second by all the other stuff. Online dating is not easy, don't make it harder by not using your assets to the maximum potential.

Don't mention acne scars or any other negative thing in your profile. Negativity is an instant turn off, no matter how it is dressed up.

Good luck!

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