Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
eleqtra

I just want to hide

Recommended Posts

Hey everyone,

I am beyond being at my wits end with my acne. I am really needing a place to vent, cry and have someone listen.

I am almost 30 years old, have two wonderful boys and a great husband. I have only recently been fighting with acne. As a teen I only experienced the occasional breakout normally during that time of the mo. or in the summertime. The combined total of all of my teen breakouts only equal about 10% of what my current breakout status is. Currently I am broken out throughout my cheeks, forehead, chin and mouth area. I have a combination of whiteheads, papules, pustule and cyst.

In the last two years I have been dealing with my acne. It first started when my elderly uncle who we were taking care of took a turn for the worse. My acne has only gotten worse and worse since.

I have tried everything over the counter and finally found something that (until recently) was working for me. I have been using Neutrogena Rapid Clear Oil Control Foaming Cleanser (Glycerin, Glyceryl and Stearic Acid based); Neut. Rapid Clear Acne Eliminating Gel that is 2% Salicylic Acid; and Neut. Rapid Clear Acne Defense Face lotion also 2% Salicylic Acid. I have been using these products twice a day

The last few weeks I have had a major blow out and it has gotten so bad that I am now hiding. I am having a hard time leaving my house, looking my husband and children in the eyes and today I can't stop crying about how horrible I look.

I have a blessed life, great husband, kids, family, friends. Should this really affect me as badly as it has?

:cry:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have to attack acne where it starts, with your diet. For me, diet was the cause and solution. Topical medications fight the symptoms. Start by eliminating trans fats and eating more fruits and vegetables. Once you start cleaning up the inside of your body, by eating properly, the outside of your body (your skin) will be get cleaned up too. I started a website to document my problem and solution.

http://www.fredstown.com/acne.html

You might find it helpful to read my story. Just remember to eat an all natural/organic diet with lots of fruits and vegetables. Stay away from processed foods. Use mild, all natural cleansers and don't pick at your face. Get lots of sleep and enough water for your body weight. Remember, clean body = clean skin. While you're waiting for your skin to clear, remind yourself that acne is a challenge that you will overcome soon. Once you're rid of it, tell all your friends how you did it. That's what I'm doing. God Bless.

http://www.fredstown.com/acne.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi eleqtra,

I am a 38 y/o female, have had acne on and off for most of my life. From age 35 on, it got progressively worse, pimples, clogged pores, monster chin cysts, the works. My derm put me on spironolactone (after a number of antibiotics and OTCs failed to clear up/prevent my acne) 100 mg daily and it took about a month or so to kick in, but once it did, my skin started clearing for the first time in years. Currently I get the occasional pimple at certain times of the month, but that's pretty much it. Spironolactone works for women with hormonal acne. I would definitely talk to your derm about it.

Now I just have to figure out how to get rid of all these nasty scars, sigh...

Good luck and best wishes from bookyone :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Acne is surprisingly debilitating, so don't feel like you have no right to feel the way you do. I and most other people on this site know what you are going through.

As someone above said, if you over the counter products aren't working see a doctor. What I have come to learn is that there are only a handful of topical ingredients which are generally recognised in helping acne (e.g. BP, salicylic acid, tea tree oil) and most over the counter products will contain these active ingredients to a greater or lesser degree. Everything else is pretty much filler - to make it smell nice, lather up etc etc. Therefore, don't get too hung up on trying different brands. If you have tried a brand with a recognised active ingredient, try another brand with a different recognised active ingredient. But if they don't work, get to a doctor. Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

geez, you sound just like me. read through the regimen logs if you have the time. there's so mcuh information though that it can be overwhelming.

i only had problems with hormonal acne which is pretty much under control right now.

seems maybe yours is stress triggered.

in answer to your question, yes, it is a big deal. feeling ugly and hideous isn't something you can just push to the side.

i think though that stressing out about it just makes it worse. the people in your life who love you won't care at all about your skin - in your heart you know that but it still doesn;t make you feel better. that's how it was for me anyway.

i'm always around if you want to chat or anything. i have a great regimen log - you should check it out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am hiding out today. My husband took our daughters to church and I stayed home. I have two huge cysts on the sides of my nose, up by my eyes, so I have swollen eyes. Aother huge zit on the top of my cheek and one huge cyst starting on my chin. I am calling my derm tomorrow, this is insane!!!

{({({(HUG})})})})

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i feel u. i can relate to everything you wrote. i, too, am happily married with two beautiful children. my hormonal acne woes started in november and progressively got worse by december. i felt so distressed about my skin, which only aggravated the acne. i would touch my face, feel all the cysts and just wanna cry and hide from the world. what killed me was my 6 year old daughter referring me to proactive. :(

in january, i was just so fed up with my skin. thankfully, i found this site and read the many posts. i decided to throw out my old regimine which consisted mainly of SA and started following Dan's advice of using BP. i also switched derms since my old derm didn't even make mention of my acne possibly being hormonal. i guessed it was and my new derm confirmed it. with that diagnosis, he put me on yasmin bc pills. my skin has improved sooooooo much. no more cysts on my cheeks. some along the jawline and neck but not even close to the inflamation that i used to endure.

i'm not saying to go on yasmin too but i do hope that you see a trusted derm and more importantly, i hope that you find something that works for you. please hang in there. at the very least, you got this site and all of it's members that i've found so supportive and comforting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey,

you are not alone hunny believe me, i am a 27 yr old female and have 2 young children,

i started gettin acne when i hit 21...... since then its been a real pain in the ass!!!!!

im fed up of trying to find a cure because i know its never gonna happen for me... i currently take the birth control pill "marvelon" and wash with clearasil, my skin is not great but i have to pick myself up everyday and get on with my life...

im gonna see about changing my pill when i see my doc in 2 mths but until then im sticking to what im doing...

i also get quite dry skin which really makes me wanna hide away and i usually do when its that bad... :boohoo:

but anyway if you need to talk then email or pm me.........

hugs hugs and more hugs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i drink organic apple cider vinegar 2-4 tablespoons a day, i now wear mineral makeup and I have the inner thought of "clear skin"

If you think of not wanting acne, you're actually putting the attention on acne, rather than what you really want. Sounds hoaky, but ya never know!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I want to hide also. I am 47 and really think that I should be over this crap too! I don't think that I will every get over the feeling of wanting to hide even when I just have a few zits because no one I know my age has it. Who ever said "your not getting older, your getting better" doesn't know jack!!!! Elf

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel your pain. I am going through my third cycle of adult acne breakouts.

I didn't start getting acne until I was 20, went on proactiv and it cured it for 2 years, then my acne came back last year, and I went on tetracycline (1000mg a day/Topical Ointments) and that cleared it up, but now it's back, and it's more fierce than ever. I hide in my house too.

I know you think that maybe no one knows what you're going through by hiding, but trust me, we all want to hide. I can't really give you any encouraging words to make you want to leave your house, you have to do that on your own, as I keep telling myself. It's a struggle everyday. But see a dermatologist, and make sure he/she takes the time to explain things with you, instead of making you wait an hour, and see you for only 2 minutes to decide what next to give you like my dermatologist does.

And smile, you have a wonderful husband and children who love you :) I hope to have that one day too! :dance:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know how you feel. I dont want to go to work and I take a century to get ready. I dont even want to go out shopping for shoes! I am a shoeholic so that says something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Molly, are you still breaking out after stopping Yasmin? I would hope that it would be improving. Would you be interested in talking with your derm about spiro and maybe taking an antibiotic for a few months to curb any initial breakout? I'm starting to heal from my worst breakout ever. I still break out, but it's getting more managable, slowly over time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey there! I'm sorry to hear what you are suffering TRULY! i had a point in my life when i was breaking out soo bad i had to wear bandages on my face and make-up and i'm a guy. I had acne all over my cheeks, forehead and nose and stayed single for so long. Acne can be very depressing and maybe the most depressing point of my life but look at the bright side. You have a husband and 2 kids that im sure loves you very much. I would strongly advise you to see a dermatologist and they will tell you to go on accutane which by the way got rid of my acne. and the over the counter products your using is not good for our acne. try using products with 2.5% ben. peroxide...i would say use accutane with proactiv.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just wanted to say that I can sure understand how you feel. I am almost 32, and I still have acne. I've had it since I was 12. When I was younger, I mostly had whiteheads/blackheads and oily skin. Nothing too severe. But ever since I had my two children, I deal with cysts and extremely oily skin. I almost always have at least one cyst on my chin at any given time. These things are huge and no makeup will cover them up cause they stick out and are usually right on my jaw line so I end up looking deformed. I know how embarassing it is and it makes me feel very self conscious even around my children and husband. I am fortunate that I don't work outside my home. I've tried all sorts of things to heal my acne. Not eating dairy, eating flaxseed daily, using BP etc... Dan's BP works great for clearing normal pimples, but nothing seems to help prevent cysts. I know it's got to be hormonal. I think I either have too much testosterone, or am super sensitive to androgens. I read an article recently about spearmint tea that drinking 2 cups a day helps lower androgens in women. I am going to give that a try and see if it helps prevent these horrible cysts. I have 3 sisters and none of them have acne like I do, nor did they have it much when they went through puberty. It just seems so unfair sometimes. When I was a teenager I used breakout on my upper back, shoulders, and chest as well. I don't usually break out there now, but I have small whitish scars all over. I don't think anyone that doesn't have acne can really understand what it does to your self esteem and also how much it restricts your life. I'm too self conscious to go swimming, go out without makeup etc... I've been married to my husband for 11 years, and I rarely let him see me without makeup or naked. It's sad really, but I feel ashamed of my scars/cysts etc.... I guess everyone has some sort of flaw though. Some people are overweight, some people aren't very attractive I think I'd rather be overweight than have acne cause at least I could lose weight. Well, I shall quit blabbing on and on for now. I just wanted to say I can totally relate, and I'm sorry for all the pain you are going through. I'll be praying for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I want to hide also. I am 47 and really think that I should be over this crap too! I don't think that I will every get over the feeling of wanting to hide even when I just have a few zits because no one I know my age has it. Who ever said "your not getting older, your getting better" doesn't know jack!!!! Elf

:shifty: Finally someone on this board that is close to my age and still dealing with acne! Misery does love company. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be totally free from these awful cysts etc. They leave, but always return. I know it is hormonal, but I don't know exactly when or why they return. They say only about 15% of older women still have these kind of outbreaks. Guess that's us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel your pain. I am going through my third cycle of adult acne breakouts.

I didn't start getting acne until I was 20, went on proactiv and it cured it for 2 years, then my acne came back last year, and I went on tetracycline (1000mg a day/Topical Ointments) and that cleared it up, but now it's back, and it's more fierce than ever. I hide in my house too.

I know you think that maybe no one knows what you're going through by hiding, but trust me, we all want to hide. I can't really give you any encouraging words to make you want to leave your house, you have to do that on your own, as I keep telling myself. It's a struggle everyday. But see a dermatologist, and make sure he/she takes the time to explain things with you, instead of making you wait an hour, and see you for only 2 minutes to decide what next to give you like my dermatologist does.

What's up with these dermatologist who treat us like this? I waited quite awhile the other day to see mine, then he barely looked at me, asked no questions and just started out writing prescriptions. Then...like McDonald's wanting to know "if I want fries with my order", he started talking about peels and how I should really consider microdermabrasion treatment. Not covered by insurance of course and costing $4500 for one super treatment of less for other treatments, but requiring more. What do you think of this? Should I look for another dermatologist? I think...YES.

And smile, you have a wonderful husband and children who love you :) I hope to have that one day too! :dance:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know not everyone will be receptive to this, but I really suggest trying a low-carb diet; paleo diet or some other not-so-strict variation. I have been using a low-carb diet to stay clear since last July. It really works wonders for me. I don't have to worry about any topicals. I just don't eat grains and sugar. It might sound tough at first, but it's a much better option than spending your life hiding.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You poor thing, try not to stress as it will help the breakouts even more. You have alot of people here to support you because we all go through these horrid breakouts. I hide too, or want to, but my family and mates always ignore the spots and want me to get on with life, and not shut myself away from the big bad world. It is hard though when you are covered in ugly red spots......hang in there, get some sleep, drink some water and try and eat healthy....

Trent

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×