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Xiomara

Alright i'm def. suffering depression

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Not sure if I should start a new topic but this seems to be the thread for this.

I've been on 20mg accutane for three months now and I'm starting to notice that my depression is spiralling out of control. What I'm feeling is more than just persistent pain and sadness. I think I'm actually losing touch with reality. Like a severe sense of depersonalisation. When I look at people or objects... sometimes I really don't know what I'm looking at. I mean - I know what it is but I don't feel it or undertand what it means to me. I don't always feel like this. Mostly there's just a fog over muh mind and it's hard to concentrate. I notice the scars on my face and I just lose hope. Like these scars mean that I'll never have nice skin and my entire life has been a joke. I hate feeling this way. In the morning I'm much more rational but at night I really do believe my life is over.

hoping it goes away when I finish my treatment. It worries me to read that symptoms worsen after treatment. They only worsen for a while, right?

I tried talking to my family about my feelings but they're too proud to admit their daughter might really be mentally ill. They're not aware that accutane is a serious culprit here and I don't want them to know. I intend to finish my course. I just need to live through this phase in my life... which I will. Suicidal feelings come up several times a day but I know I will never actually do it. I know it's just an extreme mood and it will pass. As long as someone has a little fire buring inside them they will never commit suicide.

not sure if I'm suffering from psychosis or not but I think I'm suffering from something more than depression. I've been depressed in the past. I suspect that I've been bi-polar all my life even. Maybe I'm just going through one of the depressive phases... which is just worsened by accutane.

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Do you have access to psychatric treatment through your medical insurance? I would definitely seek help on this from someone - I believe some people have been on psychiatric meds during their accutane course. It may help alleviate some of the symptoms you are having right now. I would be very careful and pay attention to your symptoms - I know you don't want to go off the accutane, but you really need to make sure that it is not worsening your psychiatric symptoms. I just think that the relationship between accutane and depression is not fully understood, so caution is probably your best bet.

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Do you have access to psychatric treatment through your medical insurance? I would definitely seek help on this from someone - I believe some people have been on psychiatric meds during their accutane course. It may help alleviate some of the symptoms you are having right now. I would be very careful and pay attention to your symptoms - I know you don't want to go off the accutane, but you really need to make sure that it is not worsening your psychiatric symptoms. I just think that the relationship between accutane and depression is not fully understood, so caution is probably your best bet.

my problem is that my parents don't really want me to get 'mental therapy' because they think I'm just tantrumesque. I'm still very much dependent financially on them...

My GP did prescribe anti-depressants a while back (while I was on birth control that drove me crazy) but they didn't work well for me. I wasn't able to fall asleep... at all. I'm not really sure what to do. I find that keeping journals help. And talking to myself... like self councelling out loud. maaaan.

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Not sure if I should start a new topic but this seems to be the thread for this.

I've been on 20mg accutane for three months now and I'm starting to notice that my depression is spiralling out of control. What I'm feeling is more than just persistent pain and sadness. I think I'm actually losing touch with reality. Like a severe sense of depersonalisation. When I look at people or objects... sometimes I really don't know what I'm looking at. I mean - I know what it is but I don't feel it or undertand what it means to me. I don't always feel like this. Mostly there's just a fog over muh mind and it's hard to concentrate. I notice the scars on my face and I just lose hope. Like these scars mean that I'll never have nice skin and my entire life has been a joke. I hate feeling this way. In the morning I'm much more rational but at night I really do believe my life is over.

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i got depressed during after tane. not about my acne. it was an antidepressant for that.

but it made my skin so dry i got terrible rashes and could not bath more than once a week. its going on six months post tane and i still can't work out or bath in hot water without getting a terrible rash all over my body. so yeah, nothing to do with depressing me organically in my brain. more of a depression over my skin being so dry and sensitive now.

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How about counseling through your school? And you might consider trying a different anti-depressant. There are many options to choose from, sometimes its a matter of trial and error to find the one that works right for you.

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How about counseling through your school? And you might consider trying a different anti-depressant. There are many options to choose from, sometimes its a matter of trial and error to find the one that works right for you.

Thanks willow.. I'll look into it.

That sounds EXACTLY like i was whilst i was on my course and even now slightly... I was forced to finish early because after battleing feelings just as you are describeing, i suffered from increase cranial pressure and blurrered vision, which was the final straw i couldn't strugle on any more. No matter how much i wanted to finish the course i HAD to listen to my body...

I bet you find it hard to motivate yourself, i bet you feel as if you are living in a daze and that days pass by very quickly and you realise you have been sitting there doing nothing for hours on end? you sound just like i was, i have began to improve....but i really do not advise going through months of treatment being like this. The way i think is that the longer you are like this the more likely you are to stay like it....

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I think accutane not so much makes me depressed as just dazed. It's like it takes all my sense and reasoning and leaves the depression that was there before. I think that's the main problem with me.

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hey xiomara...let me start off by saying good looks to jeffy, hes a good guy...

K well heres my story xiomara...ill try to make it short...

Ive been on accutane 2x...once it cleared me up...came back at end of senior year and began taking it in my first year of college...things were going fine, reg. side effects...then one week when given 2 different dosed packages...i ended up taking 3 40 mg pills instead of a 20 and a 40...i know it sounds stupid...but i wasn't as bright as I am now i guess, and the doc never explained them to me...i was just poppin them...anywho, for the few weeks or so of doing this...i experienced severe depression...and suicidal thoughts...i told my mom since i was having crying spells and freaking out...so they took me off of it and of course my acne came back...the depression subsided shortly after I believe...and I continued on with my life...until a few years later...what I once believed was my shy and sorta anxious personality eventually bloomed into a terrible anxiety disorder that I realized on my 2nd year of college...where I would get these tight chest feelings, inability to breathe...the scared feeling like when someone jumps out at you...and it happend on a daily basis...i was then diagnosed with social anxiety disorder...i have been dealing with this for about 2 or so years...till this day I am not exactly sure if it was the accutane, acetaphetamine usage (adderall)...+ heavy marijuana smoking...which i did throughout my teen years...or accutane...i honestly dont know...but I DO know that accutane did damage my liver...and some other organs as well...and may have contributed to my psychological well being...I have been on almost every anti-depressant and benzodiazapines aka. klonopin/xanax...Anxiety is rough...and until recently I was sick of my acne...extremely oily skin, black heads so I said what the hey might as well give accutane another shot...took me a week to finally get the balls to try ti and I did...I am not sure if it was from the drug...but as soon as I took it, I felt a lot worse than I did before...I recently before starting accutane was back on Zoloft since it was the only SSRi that showed improvement yet gave me sexual dysfunction :)....anywho...i noticed almost immediately a change in mood, and anxiety sky rocketed...for 2 days of use...so i discontinued the use...and to this day I am still yearning to give it another shot...i know the dangers...the toxicity...I care about my body...I am big into body building...I treat it like a temple...yet acne plagues my mind and soul and holds me back from being truely happy, which I know shouldn't be true...anyway im going way too deep into the bunny hole so I might as well stop, but now you should have some sort of an idea of what my story is...if you feel like talking or whatever, feel free to IM me at chaseryder...I will be more than happy to help you out...from what I read it seems like you just have a mild case of depression, but take my word and everyone elses...go get help, dont deny it...get therapy + medical treatment if required...both are required to battle it...it is a disease no matter what people say...and it can be defeated...

Take care

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GREAT NEWS!!! :dance:

I am feeling 100000000% better! It was totally the Accutane leaving my system. I went to the Physciatrist(sp?) today, and she told me that it looks like my depression was only from medication. She said i'm def. not bipolar either. She advised me to stop taking the over the counter herbal supplements to treat moods, I prob. don't need them or medication. But i'm going to see her again, just for my own peace of mind.

OH, and I also got my BF back! <3 :dance::wub:

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