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I go through these phases sometimes where I can be strong. I can ignore all of the horrible things in my life and just keep it to myself. But now is not one of those times. I'm in tears, i'm at a loss of what to do. My parents are at a loss of what to do.

Ever since I took accutane, I started developing horrible burning sensations in my face and it would turn blood red as well. I immediately started obsessively researching what it could be. I had two doctors tell me it was rosacea. One doctor gave me a medication called Lyrica, which is used to treat seizures caused by diabetes. So i've been on it for a few months now, and i've noticed ever since i've been on it the burning sensations are now not just limited to my face, but they go throughout my entire body. I'm constantly drinking ice cold water, keeping ice packs on my body in a desperate attempt to keep cool. But nothing helps.

My eyes have been physically hurting. I've been getting random bruises all over my body. A week ago I was in the kitchen baking, trying to get my mind off of the painful burning i'm constantly feeling now, and I passed out in my kitchen. I woke up about an hour later, and managed to walk myself to my bed and fell asleep for 5 hours after that, when i'd only awoke from 12 hours of sleep 3 hours prior to passing out. My health is just going to shit real fast and I don't know what's wrong. And neither do 3 seperate doctors i've gone to see.

I wish I would just hurry up and die already.

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It has been said before, but I want to say it again: I'm glad you're not dead, I don't want you dead, and please keep talking, Kanmi. I know you've been having a hell of a year, maybe this is the cumulative stress catching up? That can really knock a person on thier ass, seemingly out of nowhere. (But not REALLY out of nowhere, because your body and mind are just really starting to process what happened)

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I don't know what else to say except this is my fault, and everything is my fault, and all of the pain i'm feeling is my fault. I wish i'd never taken that medicine. I could have done so many other things. I did my research on the medicine, I read everything on

the official website, and I never saw what i'm going through listed as a side effect. I honestly don't know if there's any hope left to reclaim my life. I remember what it was like to not be in physical pain all the fucking time and I miss it.

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I'm also glad you're still alive, Jaymi. Don't leave Uncle Mort here without you. That would hurt me a lot. :(

You know, you can do all the research you can... calculate all the shit... but there's always going to be that percentage... of everything going wrong -- WILL go wrong. That's one of Murphy's laws, unfortunately.

Please keep fighting Jaymi. Hold onto anything that'll give you inner strength. That's what you need to get through this.

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I don't know what else to say except this is my fault, and everything is my fault, and all of the pain i'm feeling is my fault. I wish i'd never taken that medicine. I could have done so many other things. I did my research on the medicine, I read everything on

the official website, and I never saw what i'm going through listed as a side effect. I honestly don't know if there's any hope left to reclaim my life. I remember what it was like to not be in physical pain all the fucking time and I miss it.

Im sorry youre in such physical and emotional pain. It isnt your fault. You didnt know you would end up with rocescea (sp) because of accutane. I really hope things start looking up for you Jaymi. :comfort:

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Kanmi, I also feel like giving up and dying. I am starting to clear from accutane finally, but I see all these terrible red marks that I know take months at least to go away. And that is providing I don't get any new cysts. Life sucks. I have these grand mood swings depending on which mirror I look into. I don't think god exists anymore. My favorite pasttime is sleeping because I don't think about my skin.

You aren't alone.

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I don't what to say other than "Fuck Accutane" because it screwed me over too. I wish I never took it.... twice.

But I sincerely hope you feel better kanmi. :comfort:

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That's horrible! I took accutane 7 years ago but had to stop after a month cause I was getting extremely tired and having really bad heartburn. I ended up with clinical depression. To this day I don't know if it was from the accutane. I'm glad I stopped it before anything else happened. My mom was scared for me to take it but my family doctor acted like it was completly harmless! Maybe you should go to get a physical Kanmi or go to a different doctor. Even though your young you may have diabetes or anemia. Could be a lack of vitamins? I know around my period I feel like I'm gonna pass out. That's a scary feeling. Please take care of yourself.

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If it's messing with your hormones it could definitely make you pass out. I finally had to get off yasmine because I started taking it continually with very bad side effects, I got up in the middle of the night and passed out. I didn't know just taking one pill a day like that would screw me up so much. I've also had sinus problems which doesn't help. I think you should go with natural therapy maybe accupuncture, something with no bad side effects!

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Kanmi, I also feel like giving up and dying. I am starting to clear from accutane finally, but I see all these terrible red marks that I know take months at least to go away. And that is providing I don't get any new cysts. Life sucks. I have these grand mood swings depending on which mirror I look into. I don't think god exists anymore. My favorite pasttime is sleeping because I don't think about my skin.

You aren't alone.

I love sleeping to because it makes all my worries momentarily disappear

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You need to go to the dr dear, I don't know what else to say. passing out for an hour is serious shit.

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Jaymi, reading this broke my heart :cry: I'm sooo sorry that your in this much pain all the time!! I wish i could make it better for you. I doubt that anything i will say is going to help you, but i really hope you feel better really soon. If anyone here deserves to be happy, its you! :comfort:

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Oh gosh Jaymi please..............I know is SO damn hard but please hang on........at least for the org and your family. We all love you ssooo much, you have no idea.

My best friend right now is going through a REALLY rough patch in her life too Jaymi. She has always struggled with depression, BAD insomnia, and she had a major concusion three years ago and its affected her so much. She has constant, constant headaches, she's always tired and moody, and the stress of everything is now affecting her once-perfect china doll skin.

I've gone through rough patches too Jaymi, they SUCK. But you gotta hold on dear, there are a million other doctors out there and i'm sure they will help you. Just keep researching, take it easy, drink alot and eat healthy. It's the most you can do.

Please Jaymi, I adore you! Hang on!

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Kanmi, i've been in your shoes.

My GP prescribed me a 10% BP solution. You could figure how harsh something like that could be, right? Too bad I didn't know I was Rosacea prone.

Using that medication for 1-2 months changed my skin drastically. My flushing and redness got so bad. Till this day I regret ever visiting that doctor - it changed my life profoundly, much like yours has.

AFTER THAT, I prescribed myself accutane. Accutane got rid of some of the moderate acne I had (didn't do sh*t for the redness I caused myself) but also made my skin more prone to red marks. It made my skin change very drastic. I don't heal as fast anymore skin wise, and I don't know if i'll ever get that back. It seems like every pimple I get leaves a red mark, whereas before Accutane I didn't even know the concept of a red mark. Again, accutane changed my skin profoundly in a bad way much like 10% BP did. I've been dealing with red marks, redness, blushing, feeling uncomfortable in warm situations for 2.5 years now.

Even still after all of that, AFTER ALL THAT SUFFERING, now my skin is much better and skin problems don't bother me much anymore - not necessarily because I've learned to cope but because my actaual skin has gotten way better. Your SKIN AND BODY find a way to heal itself.... I don't flush nearly as much, my red marks are fading quick - my skin is getting to that almost normal look again!!

The point of my post is, I've been in your situation, only it was a couple of years ago. Once you become more experienced in treating your symptoms you will be where I am now - just hang in there.

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Thank you so much to everyone for your kind replies. I'm trying to fight and be strong through this. I wish I could just take the easy way out, I really do. But I can't let my dad lose his only daughter when he's already lost his only brother to AIDS and his only niece to a car accident.

I just hate life so much right now. Every breath I take feels like swallowing knives. I can't imagine it ever getting better. And it kills me inside when I think about all the things i'll never be able to do as long as I have this disease, and all of the foods I won't be able to eat because i'll be in absolute agony the next day from the pain it causes.

Since every doctor i'm going to seems to be an idiot, do you guys think I should go to a hospital to find a better one?

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Oh Kanmi, I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through and feeling... One of the worst things in this world to lose can be your health, and to not know exactly was is going wrong with you or how to stop it...wow I can see why you wanted to give up, but please think of everyone who loves you so much and how we all just want to see you better!! So, I know this is gonna sound so pointless and cliche but try and think about what tomorrow can bring, a better life with a healthy mind and body...so just try to be strong a little while longer!! And please go to a hospital, see as many doctors as possible, take as many tests as you can until they figure out how to fix the pain... I wish and pray for the best for you!!

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I can't guarantee tomorrow will be any better for you, but keep looking for your answers and I'm sure you'll find them.

Take solace in your friends and family, as they obviously care about you. It's apparent you have many friends here, we're all hoping for the best. Take care of yourself. Also, anti-seizure meds usually screw around with your nervous system, so if you notice major side effects like that, you should see someone.

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Jaymi, I think you should abandon all assumptions about what is causing this and go see a damn good doctor (not a derm) and get a battery of tests.

Bruises? Passing out? Pain when breathing? I'm no expert, but this doesn't sound to me like rosacea. It may not even be Accutane-related.

I'm sending you a big e-hug.

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Yeah, i know it sucks, but you cant dwell on it all the time. You cant let rosacea ruin your life, bill clinton has it and he was president! plus, do you really look that bad, from your picture you are gorgeous.. dont guys like you?

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Yeah, i know it sucks, but you cant dwell on it all the time. You cant let rosacea ruin your life, bill clinton has it and he was president! plus, do you really look that bad, from your picture you are gorgeous.. dont guys like you?

It is ruining my life. I don't care about Bill Clinton, i'm not Bill Clinton. And yes, I look absolutely fucking hideous. And whether or not guys like me is irrelevant.

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Yeah, i know it sucks, but you cant dwell on it all the time. You cant let rosacea ruin your life, bill clinton has it and he was president! plus, do you really look that bad, from your picture you are gorgeous.. dont guys like you?

That is not being supportive. This is a support forum. Please try and put yourself in Kamnis shoes. Kamni is 19 years old. Shes not in her fifties like Bill Clinton. She is very young to be having roscea. Thats probably part of why it bothers her

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you're far from hideous, seriously

i hope you feel better, keep us updated j dawg :D

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And yes, I look absolutely fucking hideous. And whether or not guys like me is irrelevant.

:rolleyes:

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there's only 60 seconds in a minute, 24 hours in day, the sun rises and goes away, the longest days go fast before i thought, only 12 months in a year life is short. kanmi you know what im goona do, take this timeout and say I love you. Thanks for not dying. listen all these hard things in you life is a test. Remember God and Jesus love you. when you look in the mirror or see people, smile it will only make you stronger :whistle:

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What you decribed in your first post is exactly what happened to a girl I knew. She had mild acne but was put on accutane. I think she had worse acne on her back or something because she would always cover her back and one time i saw spots of blood on the back of her shirt. anyway, not too long after she started the accutane, her face cleared but it was always red and she said it burned like hell. She would also get bruised for no reason. She was alawys tired and fallin asleep in class. She also complained of feeling like she had an 80 yr olds body. Her derm did nothing to help her. One night she had enough and went to the E.R. they did a full work up and it turned out she had a prolonged allergic reaction to either the accutane itself, or something the accutane triggered. There was a term for her medical contidion but I can't remember what. . She's now taking some kind of meds and she's getting better everyday. I don't know if this info will help at all.But I encourage you to seek out medical help other than your derm.

Best of luck to you.

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