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Ok I'm sorry, I'm really bad at keeping my explanations/questions short.

I'm a 23 year old Female with what I would call persistent inflammations in my face... Now the dermatologist has given me a prescription for Accutane. I knew a bit about it, friends used it, but the last couple of days I've been reading up on literature and experiences and I'm really really really doubting if I should use it.

First of all: the situation of my skin now. I never have blackheads, I hardly have whiteheads because I'm the worst at picking at almost-pimples, which means they never stand a chance and I mostly have inflammations and a couple of almost-zits. But the problem is my skin is pretty slow at healing itself and of course even the inflammations aren't safe from my naughty hands when there's a mirror around, so the inflammations stay on for quite a while. This and the fact that the antibiotics made my acne worse is the reason why my dermatologist wants to give me Accutane (plus, he doesn't really care about the rash I initially started seeing him for). Oh, I also don't have bad scarring. Only darker spots where there's been an inflammation, but those get lighter with patience and a peeling now and then.

Why I'm doubting: my skin is really thin now (because of the medicine used against my rash/excema), my skin is excematic (where the rash has been), my skin is pretty dry (especially for someone with acne). I allready need to moisturize twice a day to stop my skin from cracking. My face is so pale now and wounds heal really slowly because it's so thin. So don't you all think that Accutane would completely savage my skin?? My dermatologist says you don't know till you try.....

Also, I don't get scarring now and I'm reallyreally scared that if I'm one of the unlucky people who get a severe breakout, I'll get scars even on the parts I now don't even have acne. The inflammations are still countable, I now have 3 on my chin which are starting to go away and one on my forehead...

Of course, the only thing that keeps going through my mind is: just imagine if it was just all gone in half a year. I could stop spending so much money on the beauty salon! Oh by the way, since I started seeing the dermatologist, he advised me not to go to the beauty salon, because we wanted to keep everything as neutral as possible with the rash (except for his own prescriptions of course). But on the other hand, I really don't have acne that bad as most of the people starting Accutane, but its just persistent mild acne. On bad days, make-up can completely cover it up, on good days I don't even use make-up. So, you know, for me it's not THAT big of a problem. It would just be nice if it was gone, but still I can live with it. Right now I'm using makeup more than I used to, because my skin is so pale with darker spots and fragile since I used steroids for the rash

Haha, writing this, I'm leaning more to NOT starting accutane. But argh I just don't know... I mean the dermatologist gives a prescription for a reason right...??? Sometimes I think my face looks pretty and I wonder if I really have acne or am just a stupid obsessed person picking at things that aren't really there, but my dermatologist says its really acne. But maybe if I'm in so much doubt, I should wait till after summer and see what to do then?? Maybe just try (for the millionth time) to STOP PICKING AT MY ALMOST ZITS, use good products for my skin, start getting a treatment once in a while again at the beauty salon? I'm in need of some discipline...

Thanks y'all.

Here's just a history of how I got here....

Had some acne in my puberty, but I didn't feel uncomfortable with it. It never completely cleared, but I was OK with it. After spending 2 years in warm countries it started coming back more severely (20 years old) and I started visiting a beauty salon which helped me loads and loads and loads. But as a student it was really expensive to keep buying their products and visiting their salon. (by the way, they work with Environ, use a lot of vitamin A and Asian peeling treatments). So I stopped going there regularly, only when I had a bad breakout I'd quickly make an appointment and that has worked for me. Also because even without their expensive products, they taught me how to treat my skin well, moisturize, watch out for the sun etcetera.

BUT last summer I went on a camping trip and came back with a terrible rash, itching like hell and only on the left side of my face, neck and body. So I started going to the dermatologist. Of course, due to the rash and all the itching, my acne was pretty bad too (Still mostly inflammations cause of all the picking at it, no whiteheads or blackheads). He didn't know what the rash was and kept his focus on the acne, thinking that was also causing the rash (which I have never agreed to, I see it the other way round). I have used all the products most accutane users have tried, nothing really worked. Until finally the rash was slowly going away, so was the itching and tadaa so was the acne. But because of all the products we tried on the rash (steroids, anti-hyperpigmentation etc), my skin has gotten really fragile and white (I'm usually a mediterranean type of tanned). Plus my skin started getting excematic at the places the rash has been.

THEN he put me on 4 months antibiotics (Minocyclin) and well I guess my acne was a bit better, but I was just happy the rash was almost gone. I quit the antibiotics and BOOM I had acne like I never had had it before.... But with patience and mild care it got back to an acceptabel situation.

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I'm gonna 'suck it up'. My dermatologist keeps trying to convince me to do it, but I finally decided on 'no'. He loves giving me all these pills and stuff, but I'm just gonna stop every treatment he gave me, let my body get back to normal and use something like the Dan Kern's Regimen. Thanks

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