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Erox

May have discovered something about myself

Well as I was going through the day, going through courses, I was thinking about why I do not feel comfortable going up to people I don't know too well, even if they are in a few of my courses, to try to speak to them. I normally thought that if I had a better apearence I would have confidence to speak to the more attractive females but at the moment, I thought I did not even have the confidence to speak to the ones who aren't the most attractive. I think this might be because I don't want to speak to the ones who are not too attractive which is strange since I don't find myself too attractive either. I didn't see why I wouldn't want to speak to them but then I thought that it might be since I'm not too satisfied with my own appearence, and that if I actually was able to speak to the more attractive females, it would increase my confidence level, and I would feel better about myself. I don't think that this belief is one I should have and I even relize that, if I don't feel comfortable with myself, but want to speak to the more attravtive females to increase my confidence, it is not possible for it to work. I don't know if anyone else feels this way or if there is some way to change my belief since if I continue thinking this, I'll just not be comfortable speaking to anyone.

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you should go up to anywone..regardless of looks.

i wish i had better advice but i've never done what you're doing.

looks to me just aren't that important.

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Well as I was going through the day, going through courses, I was thinking about why I do not feel comfortable going up to people I don't know too well, even if they are in a few of my courses, to try to speak to them. I normally thought that if I had a better apearence I would have confidence to speak to the more attractive females but at the moment, I thought I did not even have the confidence to speak to the ones who aren't the most attractive. I think this might be because I don't want to speak to the ones who are not too attractive which is strange since I don't find myself too attractive either. I didn't see why I wouldn't want to speak to them but then I thought that it might be since I'm not too satisfied with my own appearence, and that if I actually was able to speak to the more attractive females, it would increase my confidence level, and I would feel better about myself. I don't think that this belief is one I should have and I even relize that, if I don't feel comfortable with myself, but want to speak to the more attravtive females to increase my confidence, it is not possible for it to work. I don't know if anyone else feels this way or if there is some way to change my belief since if I continue thinking this, I'll just not be comfortable speaking to anyone.

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Erox, have you ever heard the phrase "how can I love others when I cannot love myself"?

Of course you haven't, 'cause I just made it up. :D

The meaning is concrete, though.

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Look of it this way, ugly women are human and you don't have a problem talking with them, so why feel that way with attractive ones ?? they are also human with flesh and flaws !

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Erox, have you ever heard the phrase "how can I love others when I cannot love myself"?

Of course you haven't, 'cause I just made it up. :D

The meaning is concrete, though.

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Guest JustBreathe

I would suggest forgetting about how the people look for a little bit and focusing more on your own confidence. It would be a great idea for you to make the effort to speak to as many people as possible. Speak to people that you find both attractive AND unattractive. That way, you'll begin to view the whole idea of talking with people as a simple process. Get to the point where you're comfortable going up to someone regardless of what they look like. What's the worst that could happen? Well, I guess they could insult you and tell you to get lost.... but unless you have a lot of jerks at your school I do NOT see that happening. give it a shot.

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