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Hi,

I've been on Roaccutane for a few months now. When I first went to the dermatologist, he asked me whether I'd had any history of depression, and in response I lied to him, thinking that it may affect my chances of being allowed to go on the drug, especially after reading the countless threads on here from people who are begging their doctors to go on it. I'm really not in a good state of mind to hear comments about how stupid of a decision this may have been. I had read that in some cases, the dermatologist may still prescribe it if he thinks the main source of depression is the acne, but I didn't think this was the case. I also don't really have any close friends that could 'keep an eye on me' if this were to be one of the conditions I would have to adhere to if I went on the drug.

I feel like I've been at rock bottom for about two years now, I don't know whether Roaccutane is making me worse or not. I don't believe in anti-depression drugs, I don't talk openly about my depression, when I hear the word depressed I think it's stupid.

In the past, my acne has got me down a fair bit sometimes, but I never really thought of it as the main reason I was sad, it was just one of many things that contributed to my disappointment with life. Now that I'm starting to clear up, I feel disheartened, almost as though I've just spent the past five years of my life digging myself out of a grave, only to be on the same level everyone else was born into. I'd have one hell of a bone to pick with someone, if only someone was to blame.

Just for an example of how bad I've been feeling lately, I made a myspace, and I think it's making me more depressed than I was beforehand. To me, myspace is the epitome of my disgust in life, my friend and I usually joke about it, but somehow I've ended up with my own page on it, looking for friends, looking for someone even remotely like myself. I'm not having much luck.

I'm beginning to think that I must be ugly underneath my acne as well.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

http://www.myspace.com/origamielephant/ - my myspace profile, yes, with pictures, I think it's down for maintenance at the moment though.

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Hi,

I've been on Roaccutane for a few months now. When I first went to the dermatologist, he asked me whether I'd had any history of depression, and in response I lied to him, thinking that it may affect my chances of being allowed to go on the drug, especially after reading the countless threads on here from people who are begging their doctors to go on it. I'm really not in a good state of mind to hear comments about how stupid of a decision this may have been. I had read that in some cases, the dermatologist may still prescribe it if he thinks the main source of depression is the acne, but I didn't think this was the case. I also don't really have any close friends that could 'keep an eye on me' if this were to be one of the conditions I would have to adhere to if I went on the drug.

I feel like I've been at rock bottom for about two years now, I don't know whether Roaccutane is making me worse or not. I don't believe in anti-depression drugs, I don't talk openly about my depression, when I hear the word depressed I think it's stupid.

In the past, my acne has got me down a fair bit sometimes, but I never really thought of it as the main reason I was sad, it was just one of many things that contributed to my disappointment with life. Now that I'm starting to clear up, I feel disheartened, almost as though I've just spent the past five years of my life digging myself out of a grave, only to be on the same level everyone else was born into. I'd have one hell of a bone to pick with someone, if only someone was to blame.

Just for an example of how bad I've been feeling lately, I made a myspace, and I think it's making me more depressed than I was beforehand. To me, myspace is the epitome of my disgust in life, my friend and I usually joke about it, but somehow I've ended up with my own page on it, looking for friends, looking for someone even remotely like myself. I'm not having much luck.

I'm beginning to think that I must be ugly underneath my acne as well.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

http://www.myspace.com/origamielephant/ - my myspace profile, yes, with pictures, I think it's down for maintenance at the moment though.

I too lied about my depression to my doctor. I didn't want to ruin my chances of not taking accutane. Well, last night, because of myspace, I felt like shit. I didn't know who was my real friends or not. I told one of them I'd kill myself and I turned off my phone and went to sleep. An hour later, he actually came to my house and talked to me about things. I don't believe in anti depressent medications. I think I had those suicidal thoughts though because of the fact I was taking two pills a day accidentally.

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Origamielephant (cute name btw) - there are many people here who have experienced depression. I am personally not convinced that isotretinoin causes depression, but i don't discount the possibility entirely either. How much longer is your course? Are you feeling down, or suicidal? If the latter, please talk to your doctor. If the former, read on.

Over my life i experienced several bouts of what must have been clinical depression. For one or two of those, looking back, i probably should have been hospitalized. I'm also not the type to take anti-depressants although they certainly work for some people. But i have gained some perspective that might help. The first is that i am in control of my own outlook and my life. If i choose to focus on the negative and feel sorry for myself, i can make myself feel miserable very quickly. And as you noticed, once you are down in that hole, it's really hard to climb back up again. And the worst part is that you yourself dug that hole in the first place, but beating yourself up for that only makes it deeper. You have to resolve to climb on out and walk in the light.

So here's my advice on how i overcame depression without medication - be your own best friend. It sounds cheesy, but it works. Don't tell yourself awful things, don't tell yourself that no one loves you or that you are worthless or whatever your personal dialog consists of. You're going to have to take enough crap from other people throughout your life that you need a defender, someone who will never let you down or make you feel bad. And there is no person better suited for that position than you. So if you notice a negative thought, counter it with a couple positive ones. When i'd get sad about my skin (which was really bad), i'd have to shake it off and concentrate on my good points instead. This takes a lot of hard work and consistency to acheive, but i no longer have to fight off these sort of thoughts and can view myself with more sympathy. Your thoughts have power. Never say something to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend. I think you can learn to feel better if you want to, but you've got to climb up under your own power if you don't want to take a helping hand from medications. I strongly urge you to talk to a therapist, talking can help immensely. Best of luck.

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