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Guest Sincerely_Me

Feeling worse than I have in years.

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Guest Sincerely_Me

I don't need advice per se, but I do need to vent, and this is the only place I can do it on the boards!

In a nutshell, I am messed up. I do have issues, psychological issues, nothing major like multiple personality disorder, but I am depressed and have five forms of anxiety disorder. It's pretty horrible if I do say so myself. Usually I'm okay, I do just the best that I can and I get by like I always have, but for the past few weeks, it's been worse than usual. I know I need to get back to the doctor, but the motivation isn't there, not to mention, psychiatrists, which I need to see for meds, are booked for months on end and I just don't have that long to wait. This is the first time in a long time that I have been this miserable. I have been crying almost non-stop, it hurts so much that getting out of bed, even so much as lifting my head is this big task. A lot of things contribute to the issues, family problems which I have a lot of, problems with the guy that I am in love with, school, work, everything like that, but I am just depressed. For now, I feel like this is what defines me. I know it's not true, but it feels like it. I was thinking to myself the other day that I am just sad, I always was, and I always will be. In a way I think it's true, in another way I don't think this is something I will ever live without. I literally feel empty, at the moment everything started to go downhill, I remember my heart dropping and my stomach feeling empty, and it was like the soul was drained from my body. I feel like I am existing but not living. I am absolutely miserable. I have tried everything I could think of to make myself feel better, but this time, it hasn't worked...though sleed has done the trick, but I wake up just as miserable, and it is a bad way to cope.

I know all of this is pretty vague, but I just needed to get a bit of how I feel off of my chest.

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Its good to let things out :comfort: I know I always feel a little bit better sharing how I feel with someone/people. Im sorry you feel the way you do and I hope the best for you, that you feel better :(

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Guest Sincerely_Me
Its good to let things out :comfort: I know I always feel a little bit better sharing how I feel with someone/people. Im sorry you feel the way you do and I hope the best for you, that you feel better :(

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i'm going through tough times too. i can't believe that i'm looking forward to being 30 so then i'll be done with school, living on my own, find the love of my life, and have a successful career.

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I have had to deal with lots too and sometimes feel so overwhellmed and feel as though nothing will change but it can. I think I have started loving myself which is the hardest but most worth it thing to do, it almost creates this different aspect on life. I am still working on it and sometimes have hard days but wow, I have not been this happy with life in general than I do now.

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I totally hear you, Sincerely. That's okay to feel fucked up and insecure and unsure. I've been having such a difficult last couple of weeks that not only have I barely been on the boards, but I actually made myself physically ill - so sick I had to call out from work (which I've done exactly 5 times in the last four years now) from the stress.

Sometimes just getting up, getting out, and getting through the day is the bravest thing we can do.

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don't you wish you could just take a vacation? i do... thats why i plan on playing lotto each time. if i win, then i'll just lay around the house and eat chocolates :D.

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do you have a hobby? anything you really really love to do?

maybe you could do something that would take your mind off your problems for a bit

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I'm so sorry, hon. I've been in a horrible funk for the past few months (my post count soared because I barely left the house). I'm just starting to pull out of it now, with the help of 4x weekly yoga classes.

I don't know why yoga helps me, but it does .... the really hard part was getting motivated to sign up for the program in the first place. Oh, and getting to the first week of classes .... I'm still amazed I can get myself dressed and out the door that early each morning. :doubt:

What is it about depression? It utterly saps everything I have .... strength, humor, determination, sensuality ... they all drain away like there's a big hole in my soul.

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Guest Mankind
I don't need advice per se, but I do need to vent, and this is the only place I can do it on the boards!

In a nutshell, I am messed up. I do have issues, psychological issues, nothing major like multiple personality disorder, but I am depressed and have five forms of anxiety disorder. It's pretty horrible if I do say so myself. Usually I'm okay, I do just the best that I can and I get by like I always have, but for the past few weeks, it's been worse than usual. I know I need to get back to the doctor, but the motivation isn't there, not to mention, psychiatrists, which I need to see for meds, are booked for months on end and I just don't have that long to wait. This is the first time in a long time that I have been this miserable. I have been crying almost non-stop, it hurts so much that getting out of bed, even so much as lifting my head is this big task. A lot of things contribute to the issues, family problems which I have a lot of, problems with the guy that I am in love with, school, work, everything like that, but I am just depressed. For now, I feel like this is what defines me. I know it's not true, but it feels like it. I was thinking to myself the other day that I am just sad, I always was, and I always will be. In a way I think it's true, in another way I don't think this is something I will ever live without. I literally feel empty, at the moment everything started to go downhill, I remember my heart dropping and my stomach feeling empty, and it was like the soul was drained from my body. I feel like I am existing but not living. I am absolutely miserable. I have tried everything I could think of to make myself feel better, but this time, it hasn't worked...though sleed has done the trick, but I wake up just as miserable, and it is a bad way to cope.

I know all of this is pretty vague, but I just needed to get a bit of how I feel off of my chest.

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Im sorry your feeling like this :confused: I always thought of you as upbeat

you were one of the people I really admired after all you went through seriously

Hope you get the help to get out of this funk your in though Dee take care :pray:

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Guest Sincerely_Me
do you have a hobby? anything you really really love to do?

maybe you could do something that would take your mind off your problems for a bit

the motivation kind of needs to be there to even attempt something like that

i completely understand. i have spent the last 6 months or so feeling the exact same way.

i dont know what i can say to express how much i understand...u have just desribed me.

im gradually pulling myelf out of it...

i dont think that theres any advice i can give you because i dont really know how i got better...i kind of learnt to recognise when getting up would be detremental to me and when it would be beneficial (and on those days i MAAAADE myself go into school...even if i was 2 hrs late and did nothing in lessons, at least i was there)

i think its a natuaral, gradual progression, and u might get worse before u get better.

but honestly, the way that u feel, there is nothing that u can *phyically* do to help yourself except learn to know what ur mood/body is doing from one day to the next...and just do what it needs

its the waiting game and it horrible...but we are here to help. if u wnt to tlk, pm me anytime : )

good luck

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Guest Sincerely_Me
Im sorry your feeling like this :confused: I always thought of you as upbeat

you were one of the people I really admired after all you went through seriously

Hope you get the help to get out of this funk your in though Dee take care :pray:

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