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kanmi

Not how I expected spending my birthday

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So I just got done literally trashing my room. My friends were going to come pick me up to take me out to eat for my birthday. So I was trying to get ready, and for no reason at all, my face was flushed bright fucking red. So I became distraught, started sobbing so hard. I was sobbing uncontrollably for a good 30 minutes. I trashed my room. I ripped my mirror right off of my wall and was screaming and crying.

I broke blood vessels all around my eyes from crying so hard. Then my friends showed up with Thai food and chocolate cake and I ate until I felt like I was going to throw up. Thank god they showed up though or I wouldn't have stopped crying.

Now I feel disgusting.

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tane is rough kamni. don't look in the mirror in direct light. turn on the hall light and try only to look in the mirror when you have to. never look in a strange mirror either. only familiar ones at home. tane plays tricks with your head both inside and outside.

ur not on any topical steroids for an accutane induced rash are you? that can thin the skin, cause extraordinary flushing, and telangiectasia (broken blood vessels). don't use them for more than a few weeks. any prolonged rash needs to be treated with one of the new non steroidals like www.elidel.com.

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Yeah, nothing like looking into a mirror on what's supposed to be a good day. I did that on New Years' Eve and it ended up being shitty... until I got drunk and forgot all about my skin.

Feel better.

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I fear that no matter how well I choose my words or how good my intentions are to comfort you, that you'll take them out of context and become angry at me.

So I'm not even going to try.

*sigh*

Chin up.

I'm gonna fuckin' regret that.

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I'm sorry your birthday was ruined.

But you had friends there to comfort and feed you so that's good.

Mortally stole my *chin up*. :)

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Sorry Jaymi, not sure what else to say but like everyone else keep your chin up =) you've got great friends around you who care about you :angel:

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tane is rough kamni. don't look in the mirror in direct light. turn on the hall light and try only to look in the mirror when you have to. never look in a strange mirror either. only familiar ones at home. tane plays tricks with your head both inside and outside.

ur not on any topical steroids for an accutane induced rash are you? that can thin the skin, cause extraordinary flushing, and telangiectasia (broken blood vessels). don't use them for more than a few weeks. any prolonged rash needs to be treated with one of the new non steroidals like www.elidel.com.

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Just looked in the mirror and noticed a new scar appeared.

What did I do?

I want to know what the FUCK I did to deserve this SHIT.

I can't go on living like this. I can't do it. And anyone who expects me to is a selfish asshole. I shouldn't have been born.

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at least you don't have AIDS :shrug:

sorry for the stupid humor, but I've got nothing good to say. I feel this way all the time (however I've never committed to breaking household items).

I guess all I can do is become a spree killer :(

if you are in call me.

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at least you don't have AIDS :shrug:

sorry for the stupid humor, but I've got nothing good to say. I feel this way all the time (however I've never committed to breaking household items).

I guess all I can do is become a spree killer :(

if you are in call me.

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i've done that too. looked and noticed a new scar that is. please stop doing that to yourself. you are being your own worst critic and own worst enemy.

try to stop checking urself every five minutes for new scars, or at least do it in indirect light. you maybe developing OCD related to acne/scars. i went through that.

i still do the frequent checking but i limit myself or at least try too. if you look long enough your going to keep finding things you dont like. ive seen pictures of you and you are very pretty. that might make this even harder, i know, since you feel so unpretty due to acne, scars, and now the redness.

do u have a humidifier? heated homes are literally drier than the sahara in the winter (sahara humidity = 15-25 percent, forced air heated home = 0-5 percent humidity in winter). sleep with one on and you may notice a difference. test the humidity. put three ice cubes in a glass of room temp water, stir, if condensation does not form in 3 minutes or less ur house is too dry.

maybe you can do a microdose of tane. 10-20 mg every other day. that should still help with acne while reducing side effects to nil.

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