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wildbb99

Acne Scarring and Dating

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well i have come to the true conclusion, im 26 years old i have had 2 girlfriends all my life and 1 was short lived, now i have always thought maybe im not getting out there or just not that good looking and maybe somehow my scars are not holding me back.

but couple nights ago after posting a couple pics on a dating website where its decent lighting so it looks like i have good skin, in 48 hrs i have got hotlisted and emailed by 3 different girls who are pretty good looking, and one who is stunning to me.

so it goes to show im a decent looking guy, my scars are whats holding me back oh well the fight continues.. im not even going to bother to pursue those girls cause once they see me up close its going to be a different story! what a sad life i swear when i think about it scars have held me back from alot of things its kind of weird because scars have shaped who iam today, but without them im 100% certain i would be in a whole different situation money wise,job wise,girl wise.

who knew some marks on your face can make this kind of impact on your life, and the worse part is my scars are not that bad i pray for everyone with scars cause i know what it can do to them. iam going to fight this shit to the dayi die if its the last thing i do.

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i am in the exact same situation, only i am 19. my scars have pretty much ruined my life. used to girls would tell me how great i looked and always seemed to be atleast one girl after me. now, only 1 year later, after severe acne and scarring, i couldnt pick up a girl for the life of me. your right how crazy it is that scars impact a life this much. kudos to you though for fighting back. i figured there were two course i could go.......

1. fight my scars to look past them and try to live a normal life.

2. understand that ill be scarred for the rest of my life and give up and be a loser.

i choose the second. but continue the fight and dont give up.

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Guest max_powers585

your not alone many of use have felt that....but there comes a time where you just have to say fuck it and live life as normal as possible...if people or girls cannot accept you with the scars then they are not worth ur time...good luck

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Scars affect the amount of interest I have. I used to always have a lot of interest. Now that I have scars its far and few between and when someone is interested in me I have such low self esteem about my looks that I cut them off before they even have a chance to spend what I think is enough time with me to then reject me because I have scars.

Scars have seriously changed my life but like wildbb99 I will continue to fight this shit and I will do whatever I can within my means and within reason to get rid of them and look good again. I try to lead a normal life and go out as much as I used to but there are times I just can't face the world and so I stay at home a bit more than I really should instead.

So far I have incorporated these things to better my skin; scar excisions, more exercise, prescribed topicals, vitamin supplements, diet, lotions, special make up and bases. My skin has definitely improved and my scars are noticeably less prominent, I'd say by about 50% which is great, but at the end of the day when people look at me they can still see scars.

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ayy men brother..... i know exactly what you are going through.. ive had the same problems with the internet.. ive had pretty girls respond to my photo ( i too have good looking skin when the light is right ) only to see the disapointment in thier face when the see me in person... my skin has improved for me which has boosted my confidence.. i just had a successful date, a second one is soon to follow....i just really wonder if it is because my skin looks better now or she is just not a shallow person... guess ill never no... keep up the fight man

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that was an extremely mean post. this forum is to discuss our issues and try to find a solution. I think that scarring does have an effect on female AND male interest.

"women are not nearly as visually stimulated as men, and looks are usually a secondary consideration for many, if not most of them"

Ha, are you kidding me?? You obviously do not know much about women...

Do not be insensitive. Do you have excessive scarring, to the same level as these guys, to be making such disparaging comments towards them?

There is a problem with acne and scarring having effects on attraction, dating, etc. Many women are very shallow, and many men are very shallow. If someone has never had a skin problem, they will not understand the angst that people who do feel. A lot of people are insecure. It is not helping to bash them for being whiney, they are just trying to find out how other people are dealing with or have dealt with their problem.

The women you said who marry unattractive men...I am hoping you are not thinking of women who marry for money, social standing, etc. No one in those relationships ends up happy.

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well i have come to the true conclusion, im 26 years old i have had 2 girlfriends all my life and 1 was short lived, now i have always thought maybe im not getting out there or just not that good looking and maybe somehow my scars are not holding me back.

but couple nights ago after posting a couple pics on a dating website where its decent lighting so it looks like i have good skin, in 48 hrs i have got hotlisted and emailed by 3 different girls who are pretty good looking, and one who is stunning to me.

so it goes to show im a decent looking guy, my scars are whats holding me back oh well the fight continues.. im not even going to bother to pursue those girls cause once they see me up close its going to be a different story! what a sad life i swear when i think about it scars have held me back from alot of things its kind of weird because scars have shaped who iam today, but without them im 100% certain i would be in a whole different situation money wise,job wise,girl wise.

who knew some marks on your face can make this kind of impact on your life, and the worse part is my scars are not that bad i pray for everyone with scars cause i know what it can do to them. iam going to fight this shit to the dayi die if its the last thing i do.

I agree with all of what you said, and like you, I have scars that are modest-mild. I also cannot believe how much they can impact on things. What I have noticed is this: when you don't have much time to impress a girl with other qualities (i.e. intellect, dress sense, sports car, etc.) you are in trouble, but when you have time on your side: perhaps months (a friend of a friend) you will be surprised at how much intertest you can illicit from a girl who would normally not give you the time of day.

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well i have come to the true conclusion, im 26 years old i have had 2 girlfriends all my life and 1 was short lived, now i have always thought maybe im not getting out there or just not that good looking and maybe somehow my scars are not holding me back.

but couple nights ago after posting a couple pics on a dating website where its decent lighting so it looks like i have good skin, in 48 hrs i have got hotlisted and emailed by 3 different girls who are pretty good looking, and one who is stunning to me.

so it goes to show im a decent looking guy, my scars are whats holding me back oh well the fight continues.. im not even going to bother to pursue those girls cause once they see me up close its going to be a different story! what a sad life i swear when i think about it scars have held me back from alot of things its kind of weird because scars have shaped who iam today, but without them im 100% certain i would be in a whole different situation money wise,job wise,girl wise.

who knew some marks on your face can make this kind of impact on your life, and the worse part is my scars are not that bad i pray for everyone with scars cause i know what it can do to them. iam going to fight this shit to the dayi die if its the last thing i do.

i dont think scars will completely hold u back in life. is how u act and ur confidence. there are pletny of very ugly guys who have success with women, and even guys with acne who have success with acne. the thing is , if u were not successfull with women before the ance, u wont be successfull with women after the acne.

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omg, thats exactly what i wanted to say to these ppl, but i just didnt know how.believe me i have seen men and WOMEN, yes WOMEN, who are married and with acne scars!!!i mean, if iam going to get rejected by someone just because i dont look like a airbrushed model, then i would not like to meet that person.

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omg, thats exactly what i wanted to say to these ppl, but i just didnt know how.believe me i have seen men and WOMEN, yes WOMEN, who are married and with acne scars!!!i mean, if iam going to get rejected by someone just because i dont look like a airbrushed model, then i would not like to meet that person.

uh, what happened to that post i just read??

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it can't be ENTIRELY your skin. you must put up a barrier, and i'm sure it's not 100% skin related either. you need to look within yourself more to find what it is that's stopping you from experiencing life.

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this thread is bullshit! look at Heidi Kloom and Seal... they are happy and she could have many other men but maybe she finds something in him that she doesnt in other guys... i have a friend who is a very attractive girl and could have any guy she wants and is dating a guy with the worst acne scars i have ever seen! she says she doesnt even notice it because she sees him for the great guy he is and how fun is is to be around. She says he is a great dancer, a very funny person, and is just a genuine and sencere guy who treats her well and makes her feel special... looks is def. not everything, and who knows, alot of us on this board seem to be shallow in that respect. i use to consider myself an attractive guy and i had many dates and always had girls after me, very good looking ones too... now that i have these acne scars since a year i cant even look in the mirror without feeling like i could puke, when in the past i would be in the mirror all the time... maybe this is a lesson for all of us that looks is not as important as we think and we need to focus on who we really areand the things that make us special besides looks which is surface anyway....

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I definately can relate! REALLY REALLY CAN.. im only 20 and I feel my scars are moderate.. no HORRIBLE but pretty bad... When I first met my boyfriend I had perfect skin so all this happend while I was with him.. He stayed with me after I got all these scars from acne, which made me feel great.. But I still felt like if he was to ever break up with me I would never be able to find somene again.. Well after a 3 year relationship and after he decided to end it.. I ended up finding a awesome guy thats very attractive and he dosent understand why I have such a problem with my face... its totally changed my out look on how I look.. Its giving me alot more confidence.. I think you really need to put yourself out there and try to met these girls... Dress nice and look nice.. be outgoing.. U HAVE TO TRY! :)

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I fixed the scars for the most part and dont really think about them at all. It became a point of

trying for model perfect skin, which is really unhealthy. If your scars can be fixed then try.

eventually you should get to the point where they shouldnt hold you back. Fuck what anyone

thinks but you. Its your life to live. Money, job, talents and personality. those are tyhings we

can all work on that are much more important to people than looks. Plus acne scars are not

the end all for beauty. Many people such as seal work on the bod and look great even with scars.

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well i have come to the true conclusion, im 26 years old i have had 2 girlfriends all my life and 1 was short lived, now i have always thought maybe im not getting out there or just not that good looking and maybe somehow my scars are not holding me back.

but couple nights ago after posting a couple pics on a dating website where its decent lighting so it looks like i have good skin, in 48 hrs i have got hotlisted and emailed by 3 different girls who are pretty good looking, and one who is stunning to me.

so it goes to show im a decent looking guy, my scars are whats holding me back oh well the fight continues.. im not even going to bother to pursue those girls cause once they see me up close its going to be a different story! what a sad life i swear when i think about it scars have held me back from alot of things its kind of weird because scars have shaped who iam today, but without them im 100% certain i would be in a whole different situation money wise,job wise,girl wise.

who knew some marks on your face can make this kind of impact on your life, and the worse part is my scars are not that bad i pray for everyone with scars cause i know what it can do to them. iam going to fight this shit to the dayi die if its the last thing i do.

Hey dont let it get you down or stop you. I have dated guys with scars, and i still thought they were gorgeous. I am a fairly good looking women, so please dont let them stop you!

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I fixed the scars for the most part and dont really think about them at all. It became a point of

trying for model perfect skin, which is really unhealthy. If your scars can be fixed then try.

eventually you should get to the point where they shouldnt hold you back. Fuck what anyone

thinks but you. Its your life to live. Money, job, talents and personality. those are tyhings we

can all work on that are much more important to people than looks. Plus acne scars are not

the end all for beauty. Many people such as seal work on the bod and look great even with scars.

Exactly, Ive got some bad scarring but Ive always been very outgoing and assertive. And with that attitude of mine Ive scored a job that most dudes would kill to have. As for women Im always trying and sometimes its a score and sometimes not. But at the end of the night I know I tried. Ya ya ya Seal is one of my idols, and he's married to Heidi Klum the Victorias Secret model queen!!!

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How you look is just an audition, there's no 100% factor that your looks will get you everything. I know alot of people from highschool who dated jocks, abercrombie wearing homos, and other show offs. But because of graduation, and different schools we went to, havn't had much contact. But I had contact with one of the hottest girls in my graduation year of 06. She's dating someone that is not so good looking, but the year before, she was dating some homo model. Unless this kid's hella rich, or has a big you know what =X. Far as looks sure it does matter, but you can get to know alot of people without looking like the guy that advertises for your underwear. Girls dig confidence, just be confident, and funny. and your pretty much in the ball park.

(There might be alot of spelling errors/other mistakes, i'm a little out of it so you're going to have to ignore it)

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Hey, I'd still date you guys! I absolutely understand. I have keloid scarring on my shoulders from acne and I hate it--no cute dresses, no tank tops, no short sleeves, no thin fabric...it's really hard to dress and try not to always wear sweats or something. It's very difficult getting a boyfriend because I keep a barrier around me to protect myself from someone finding out, particularly a guy because I'm scared to death of being put through that kind of pain and humiliation.

Yep, I pretty much hate myself and can't see myself, realistically, getting married.

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i agree w/ the first guy. i think the scars hold me back. in good lighting and good photos, i look great. the scars/texture of my skin in bad situations sucks my personality out and leaves me with no self confidence so i don't even approach guys or talk to them, esp in REALLY bad lighting situations (aka flourscent lights) like at the gym, the grocery store, almost every store these days, the subway, etc etc. it really sucks. funny when i was younger and had acne i didnt let it bother me much at all. now, its out of control with the scars.

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I can relate to the previously-described situations though over time I've become more comfortable with my imperfect skin because I realize that a lot of guys still find me attractive (I'm a woman).

I once dated a guy with severe acne scarring, which didn't bother me. I still found him physically attractive. Of course I think that scarring does detract a little from a person's looks, but I've found that it's not a big deal for a lot of people. He also dated a lot of women because he was confident about other things in his life like his intelligence and education, and he was really charming. He also dressed very stylishly and carried himself well. He had "game".

I once dated an average-looking guy who was insecure about his looks because he started balding in his early twenties, but his most unattractive quality was the way he obsessively worried about his balding. His insecurity was 50 times more unattractive than his receding hairline, which I wouldn't have given a second thought had he not whined about it constantly.

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i posted at length on this, only to remove it later because i felt it was an exercise in futility. jhony guy and i are in agreement and i agree with the other guys who say this post is way off base. remember, no one is perfect, we all have something about ourselves we dont like. and that is going to affect our self confidence and make us self concious. i have acne scars and even i didnt i would definitely date girls who did. i dont care one wit if you have hypertrophic scars on your shoulders - and that doesnt make me unique, i cant think of any guy i know or would wanna know who would care or wouldnt date or marry you because you have some scarring you cant help. anyone you date is going to be imperfect, anyone you date is going to have something about themselves they dont like. sometimes you can fix it, sometimes its difficult to fix at best, and sometimes you cant fix it. if anything you need to try to put that out of your mind, put your best foot forward, and believe there are millions of people out there who are better than denying you a chance because of some skin imperfections.
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The worst part about having scars and acne is taking my makeup off when with a boyfriend. I look so ill afterwards!

But it's better than to leave it on to go to sleep or my spots would only get worse.

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puberty lasts till age 25

im sure we'll all see some light at the end of the tunnel some point in our lives,

as in, our skins will eventually clear up at some point

unless were one of the unfortunates who have adult acne and scarring

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I feel blessed in a way for my skin being acne scarred because I think that if I did not I would be with some guy that I was not meant to be with. It is hard because I am an attractive girl and I feel a little self conscious which I think is my only problem. I am learning to be who I was meant to be, and if I did not have the scarring I might have gone down a different path. I thank God!!!

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