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tenyearsofacne

taking revenge against my pimples

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Hey habibti!!!

okay first of all shush about the confidence thing before I call you a hypocrite and kick your ass second degree blackbelt karate style okay? Okay. You're beautiful pimples or no pimples so stop, and plus you'll get over this ib thing soon.

Secondly, yes I noticed it fucks with ur circulation a little bit, my hand and stuff will fall asleep more than usual, especially if I dont move for a while, like while im studying.

Yeeee more big hurting ones??? noooooo. It's okay though wallah, just try not to touch them because the couple I touched are actually coming back now after the IB phase as though they got pushed further in or something. So I wished I hadnt touched them. And as for this IB thing, I think I'm almost done with it and its been a month. I have marks but actually theyre fading slowly, but fast enough that I can tell they are. My right cheek is a lot worse than my left now too. but I think it was a freak accident with the cluster of pimples I had gotten on the right cheek. The doctor looked at it and said something similar about how I just got through my period and that accutane kindof fucks with you the first month like that. She told me to definitely leave that area alone and let it flush itself out. I really only have one big noticible active on my right jawline thats drying out. But again, that's one I touched back two weeks ago so I dno and I have a couple of litlle red bumps that look like dryness irritation or something... OH yea and story of my life I now have eczema lol. storryyyyyyyyy of my lifeeeeee. and im losing hair. :boohoo: They should write a symphonic tragedy about my life, in latin, lol.

By the way she upped my dose to 60 because she thinks my face looks pretty good so far, and she said that she wants me to be done asap so she said 60 is the most she'll give me and that I'll be done in about 2 months or so :)

And another by the way, I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

And a third by the way, MWAH. lol

And... Call meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Love, Your bestest friend with the mostest pfffff hahahahhahahahahahahaah.

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hey :)

i can relate when you say that you feel woozy.. i've felt the same exact way multiple times in the last few days

&sometimes i do have to stop watever im doin and blink really hard to focus :wacko:

but im sure that will go away soon.

maybe we're just not sleeping enough

also sorry to hear that your IB is pretty bad.. but the sooner the better right? get all that crap out asap.. and make room for clear skin! :drool:

me.. i have a feeling like i am going to have a huge IB! But it's weird, i haven't really experienced any side effects at all (luckily) since i've started tane 5 days ago. my dosage might be to low =(

but i know that everyone reacts different.

are you sure you are moisturizing properly? because it sounds like your back is getting really dry love

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Sea of Booze- thanks for the support. yeah i don't moisturize enough, i really should. i'm so used to never needing moisturizer that i'm finding it hard to actually get in the habit of putting cream anywhere but my face. my back's okay now, other than a few breakouts. yes the wooziness is gone, i think you need to drink more water. i found that with the more water i drank the less woozy i felt. i hope to god that you don't get a bad IB cuz it sucks. you have mild/moderate acne too right? *sigh*... at least we're here for each other.

Sara- i love you hun. and woohoo for finishing first month! BRING THE NEXT MONTH ON BITCHES

PS- i miss you. and you're amazing.

Day 12

So i decided to cover the top half of all my mirrors with papers and tape so i can't see my face. horrible horrible horrible breakout. yesterday i started putting topical stuff on the pimples and i was putting it in so many places that i just decided to smear the whole damn thing everywhere. ugh. anyway. i have a big cyst-like thing on my right cheek which is really the thing that's bothering me most. i've been laying off the makeup since i started accutane because i didnt want to do anything to contribute to any of this intial breakout stuff but today i violated that and i'm wearing powder. i just couldnt bring myself to leave the house looking like that. i feel horrible for people who look like this all the time, thank god my acne was mild/moderate. severe cystic acne must be absolutely horrible. ive been worried about that one cyst/overgrown pimple on my right cheek because of scarring but i woke up this morning and it has a little head so hopefully it'll drain out...

ive also decided im not drinking enough water, i need to start drinking 4 bottles instead of 2 a day. cause honestly going to the bathroom sucks.. lol.

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oh and for the record... this summer i'm gna tan like crazy to make up for this icky paleness. pale and pimply eww. here's to clear, beautiful skin and cinnamon tans..

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oh and for the record... this summer i'm gna tan like crazy to make up for this icky paleness. pale and pimply eww. here's to clear, beautiful skin and cinnamon tans..

I love summer time. It's amazing what a little sun can do for your skin, I got really clear this last summer and it felt great! Then the sun went away and on came the acne :(

Keep chuggin' the water, it's kept the heaches away for me.

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Okay Lara, My professor is dumb and I hate her. She gives me a different set of requirements for my portfolio and I go over it with her last class just to make sure and then I turn it in and somehow between the two times she has forgotten what she told me. She emailed me demanding an explanation and I replied and now am worried my ass off that im going to get kicked out of the honors program because of her retarded self.

I'm going to get kicked out of the program because of her inability to convey what her expectations are adequately TWICE, and I'm never going to get into med school and my parents in all their disappointment of their failure of a spotted daughter are going to send me over seas to be married to a butcher who needs a visa. THAT is the story of my life uncut.

Wallah im going to die if life does that to me. Walllllah I am. How can she possibly forget like that???

ANYWAY.

Stop it you're beautiful. If you're bumpy now whatever because itll go in a little bit. Be strongggggggggg lol FLEX THOSE MUSCLES lol.

Save your flakes and make a snow globe. lol I'm flaking so much I didnt know I had that much skin to flake. :rolleyes:

2nd story of my life.

Ugh God help me and have mercy on my soul.

-Sara

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Sea of Booze- thanks for the support. yeah i don't moisturize enough, i really should. i'm so used to never needing moisturizer that i'm finding it hard to actually get in the habit of putting cream anywhere but my face. my back's okay now, other than a few breakouts. yes the wooziness is gone, i think you need to drink more water. i found that with the more water i drank the less woozy i felt. i hope to god that you don't get a bad IB cuz it sucks. you have mild/moderate acne too right? *sigh*... at least we're here for each other.

i actually just upped my consumption of water today. and no light headedness at all =D

yeah, i have mild/moderate as well.. but i am already on day 7 and i have only had 1 new [small] bump on my forehead so far.

i'm kinda hoping i can skip the IB entirely, or atleast until sunday; because i'm see'ing very important people on friday and i don't want a red face! :sick:

i hope yours IB fades soon dear

and we can be there for eachother cause ima be reading your log until we are both done and clear! :dance: :pray:

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Day 15

So i'm on day 15 now! i haven't updated for a few days.... been so friggin busy with finals. guess what guys... no new pimples! just the same 7 slowly healing. 2 of them are goneee! now there's just 5, at various stages of the healing process. I put up pictures of day 14 yesterday. i hope i stay like this... i'd be happy just with no more newbies at this point...

i've been taking my pill at night now, cause i never get around to eating anything all day till like 9 pm (is that unhealthy?). i dunno if it matters. i used to take it during the day so i'd make sure to feel if any side effects were happening (like headaches or whatever) cuz i was so paranoid about the bad effects of accutane. i've been drinking (or trying to drink) more water too. AHEM...THANKS for ANSWERING MY QUESTION abt how much water i should be drinking... *shakes head* :naughty:

my forehead's still kind of oily, but the rest of my face isn't. it's kind of nice, i've gotta say. i need to go get my blood test any day now, either tomorrow or monday i guess. i wish i didn't have so much studying to dooooooooooooo.

so i'm gna go cook now, cause that's what i do when i need to study. cook, clean, pluck my eyebrows, stare at my big gaping pores in my 20x mirror... just about anything to avoid it. hmmm what should i make? what's YOUR favorite food?

and did i mention that i put paper on the upper half of all my mirrors so i'd avoid 1) cringing at the sight of my spotted face

2) applying makeup 3) picking at blackheads/pimples and 4) the self-esteem plummet i go thru whenever i see my skin.

lately ive been bending down though and looking underneath the papers, kind of defeats the purpose lol. but what can i do i have to fix my hair at least! cant go out with nasty face AND nasty hair... no no.. maybe i'll just cut out a face shape and put it in the middle of the mirror

oh and could somebody PLEASE invent something to get rid of red marks? i have a million and 25 red marks on my face and i think they're worse than pimples and i fucking hate them. :|

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I love Thai food. Phad thai or red curry...mmmm. I love most things spicy.

As for water, the more the better. I drink at least 2 liters a day usually more. Makes me have to go to the bathroom a lot, but nothing you can do about that.

Yay for no newbies! You should just draw a picture of yourself on the paper of how you want to look :)

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Day 15

So i'm on day 15 now! i haven't updated for a few days.... been so friggin busy with finals. guess what guys... no new pimples! just the same 7 slowly healing. 2 of them are goneee! now there's just 5, at various stages of the healing process. I put up pictures of day 14 yesterday. i hope i stay like this... i'd be happy just with no more newbies at this point...

i've been taking my pill at night now, cause i never get around to eating anything all day till like 9 pm (is that unhealthy?). i dunno if it matters. i used to take it during the day so i'd make sure to feel if any side effects were happening (like headaches or whatever) cuz i was so paranoid about the bad effects of accutane. i've been drinking (or trying to drink) more water too. AHEM...THANKS for ANSWERING MY QUESTION abt how much water i should be drinking... *shakes head* :naughty:

my forehead's still kind of oily, but the rest of my face isn't. it's kind of nice, i've gotta say. i need to go get my blood test any day now, either tomorrow or monday i guess. i wish i didn't have so much studying to dooooooooooooo.

so i'm gna go cook now, cause that's what i do when i need to study. cook, clean, pluck my eyebrows, stare at my big gaping pores in my 20x mirror... just about anything to avoid it. hmmm what should i make? what's YOUR favorite food?

and did i mention that i put paper on the upper half of all my mirrors so i'd avoid 1) cringing at the sight of my spotted face

2) applying makeup 3) picking at blackheads/pimples and 4) the self-esteem plummet i go thru whenever i see my skin.

lately ive been bending down though and looking underneath the papers, kind of defeats the purpose lol. but what can i do i have to fix my hair at least! cant go out with nasty face AND nasty hair... no no.. maybe i'll just cut out a face shape and put it in the middle of the mirror

oh and could somebody PLEASE invent something to get rid of red marks? i have a million and 25 red marks on my face and i think they're worse than pimples and i fucking hate them. :|

Hi there... I've been reading your journal too.... oh, we are all so similar here, I think. They way we tend to see and feel about ourselves, that is....

Anyway... I wanted to tell you about the red marks...My gallery shows the left side of my face from last week - I think I actually took the pictures over the week-end... point is, it is so much better right now. (I'll have to post some new pics so you can see the difference). I have been using 100% organic aloe vera at night. It really has helped the red marks sooooooo much. It has to be real aloe vera though... not that green stuff you but for sunburns.... just a suggestion, it helped me so much, thought it might help you too. Good luck with your skin and school! Oh, I do not miss finals..

P.S. I saw your pics... you are looking great! Keep your head up ~ we are all in this together!

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jbuscemi- thanks for the tips abt aloe. i've been putting cvs aloe vera gel on my face every night and its usually very clear in the morning..throughout the day the redness comes back but hopefully that'll stop with time.

aaron- do you like indian food? that's spicy. i like spicy too..but im not such a big fan of asian food (thai/chinese).

Day 16

i'm still just healing... same 5. nothing new. which is good :)

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aaron- do you like indian food? that's spicy. i like spicy too..but im not such a big fan of asian food (thai/chinese).

I like indian food too! The indian restaurants here aren't that great, but there are some really good ones in Seattle that I've been to. I'm not a big Chinese fan either, but Thai food is nummy in muh tummy.

Doh! I forgot I still need to go pick up some aloe...

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and did i mention that i put paper on the upper half of all my mirrors so i'd avoid 1) cringing at the sight of my spotted face

2) applying makeup 3) picking at blackheads/pimples and 4) the self-esteem plummet i go thru whenever i see my skin.

lately ive been bending down though and looking underneath the papers, kind of defeats the purpose lol. but what can i do i have to fix my hair at least! cant go out with nasty face AND nasty hair... no no.. maybe i'll just cut out a face shape and put it in the middle of the mirror

Haha, that's great...I should do that so that I stop picking those matted piles of dead skin :wacko:

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DAY 17

stupid stupid stupid. i picked. a blackhead. in the middle of my face. and now it's a big hole full of blood. and the scabs gna fall off soon enough and i'm gna be left with a scar. i'm so stupid. i was doing so well...

anyway, i also got a new pimple...IN MY HAIR. wtf? its like past my hairline in my scalp. and it HURTS. i didn't even know that was possible.

i put makeup on yesterday too. i violated all my rules it seems. i was just so sick of being fugly. anyway, i obviously scrubbed and scrubbed before i went to sleep but i dont think i got all of it out. my face is like super sensitive today and red. *sigh*. why do i do this to myself.

and i forgot to put aloe last night, or topicals. and i was up studying till 4 and just passed out without even washing my face. thank god i didn't wake up with any newbies i guess. i have a lump under my chin though, it's one of those under the skin things that isn't even red yet, but it hurts. i hope it goes away before it comes up.

i'm so mad at myself.

aaron- yeah get that aloe. and maybe i just haven't had good thai food yet.

flowerburn- well judging from my bad behavior yesterday, the paper isn't all that effective :(

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lara be gentle!

no picking or scubbing hard you don't want to damage ur skin! :wall:

im glad u haven't broken out again.. with the exception of that one that you got on ur head. i've had those, they suck and they DO hurt. and are mad annoyingg.

this jan marks the start of my sophomore yr. in college.. i cant wait until i finish.

i hope you did good on ur finals, you def studied hard for it and it'll pay off. :clap: what year are u in?

ps order a pizza with pinapple on it for me flirt.gif

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i put makeup on yesterday too. i violated all my rules it seems. i was just so sick of being fugly. anyway, i obviously scrubbed and scrubbed before i went to sleep but i dont think i got all of it out. my face is like super sensitive today and red. *sigh*. why do i do this to myself.

What kind of makeup do you use? I no longer feel guilty about applying makeup now that I use mineral makeup.

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flowerburn -- i use estee lauder. what's mineral makeup? what brand and why is it any better than normal makeup

dan- i'm 20 but a senior...long story. and yeah, i'm trying to be gentle i promise.

DAY 19

Thing in my hair is gone. And picked-out-blackhead is just a red mark now... added to my collection.

So have i emphasized how MUCH i LOVE not being oily? i was looking thru old pictures this morning and oh MY god it's absolutely disgusting. i tried one of those oil blotting sheets yesterday and i only made the smallest smear on it... whereas before i used to saturate the whole damn thing and make it transparent and shiny on all sides. i love it!

i got my first nosebleed yesterday :( ... i havent gotten one of those in YEARS. it sucked though. just seeing blood scares the shit out of me cause i immediately began thinking i was bleeding from my brain or something lol.. don't ask. being a med student and a hypochondriac kinda sucks.

got my blood test today. my appointment is on friday with my derm..i hope she upps my dosage...i wanna be done with this stuff ASAP.

I've been giving those little cardboard things that are on EVERY tablet (whyyyyy) with the big X over a pregnant woman, to my friends and they've been collecting them. don't ask. i have no idea why.

I've been so busy with finals that ive gotten no time at all to post... but it'll allll bee overrrr onnn thursdayyyyy

2 more days till week 3 pictures! I know y'all can't wait.

STILL NO NEWBIES!!! :)

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walik yay for no newbies!!! Are you spot treating with anything?? like what are you using exactly? go through your routine yallah lol.

I wish I could say the same... :doubt: but actually there are only a couple on the right side and im sure its from upping the dosage because its only been a little under a week since I started taking 60. blekhhh.

Miss youuuuu!!

Study study study missy.

-b.f.f.

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flowerburn -- i use estee lauder. what's mineral makeup? what brand and why is it any better than normal makeup

What is mineral makeup?? there are like, a billion threads on here about it. It's makeup, usually in powder form that contains natural ingredients. I use Everyday Minerals brand which I feel is better and cheaper than Bare Minerals and contains only : Mica, Titanium Dioxide, Iron Oxide and Zinc Oxide.

You might want to check it out, they have free samples, which come in cute tiny jars but you have to pay a few dollars for shipping, and it helps to have an awesome kabuki brush.

http://www.everydayminerals.com/

Finding this makeup is the one good thing my acne has produced. Now I don't feel guilty about covering up my acne.

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thanks... :) ill check it out.

Day 22

omggg..... my pimples are allll whiteheads today. ewwwwww... and my nose is always hurting...from liek dryness and dry blood :s i try to wash it out every once in a while but it just ends up happening again :(. week 3 pictures were supposed to be out today but... i got lazy. tomorrow i promise. and guess whattttt.... IM DONE WITH FINALSSSSSSSS!

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hola amor.

whiteheads suck! i have a few myself.. im sorryy

but yeah i got my IB yesterday and I broke out a little bit more today.. hopefully it doesnt get too bad! =\

i'm not using any topicals.. you're not supposed to use any when ur on tane because it can really dry you out more or sometimes even burn your [already fragile] skin a little..

and

Stupid fucking acne undermines my appearance.
... you're gorgeous, with or without them.

Thank youuu dear <3 :D

you're quite stunning yourself! :wub::wub:

&& congrats on finishing ur semester!

<3dan

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I AM SO UPSET. SOOOOOO UPSET. i'm leaving the country on the 24th, coming back on the 16th..and i can only renew my prescription on the 28th. i cant transfer my dermatologist because i'm going to a country where accutane isn't even there (i called the system).. this sucks sOOOOOOOOO bad.... i called EVERYONE in EVERY company to try and get an exception and there's nothing i can do. what this means is i have to stop taking accutane for THREE weeks. and then start all over, from the beginning, with a new initial breakout and EVERYTHING. i don't know why i'm getting so emotional about this but i can't stop crying. I wanted this to be over and done with ...I was so strong through the whole IB because I knew it'd be over soon... but it was all for nothing. Now I have a million more red marks than before, all for nothing. And I have to start all over from the beginning when I get back, new IB and all. The dermatologist was like sorry, ur gna have to go thru it all again. I HATE THIS. I HATE THE DAMN ACCUTANE COMPANY. WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY SO STRICT i even faked that i lost some so i could get more and they said oh well you have to wait a month and start over. god ID DO ANYTHING for some pills to last me this vacation... :( some vacation. i can't even change the date. oh well, came so close to being done with the first month and now i'll be starting over with day 1 again on january 16th. Life just keeps shit coming doesn't it? When is my bad luck ever gonna stop? WHEN? :(

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YAY! i found a way to get it :)

anyway. back to my normal mood. so! she upped my dosage. i'm starting 60 mg! hopefully this'll finish my beloved accutane journey fasterrrrrrr...

i think i'm skipping this week's pictures. sorry.

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ur acne is so mild. kinda like mine, but EVERY one of my pimples leaves a long lasting redmark. i went to the derm yesterday, wanting accutane, but she wouldn't give it to me! i didnt bother fighting..... now i regret it. how did you convince ur derm to give u accutane? i am sick of dealing with this crap, and want it over with... but accutane's process scares me too =P

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