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I've been ok for the first 3 months or so of college, but I am just really starting to feel drained. I don't have any friends b/c no one seems to want to give me a chance b/c of my face. They'll be nice to me in class, sort of, but they don't ever look my in the face (yes, even some professors), but after class they shun me. I do everything on my own. I go to class alone, eat alone, my roomie is gone and I never see him (he moved into his gf's dorm), I study at the cafe alone, or in the lounge alone, or at the library alone. On weekends I go out to eat alone and do things on campus alone. Right now I am in the lounge all by myself working chemistry problems and I just felt this drain on me. I haven't had any real freinds since when I was a sophomore in high school. I'm a funny guy. I know it. But it is just so hard to get people to over come my face & to be me when no one treats you friendly other than that "you're face is ugly, I can't look u in the face w/o cringing, go away," attitude. People like to stare and stuff at my face as I walk around campus, but pretend like they aren't. Even when I went to the bookstore, the books people at Barnes and Noble would look at me then quickly divert theirs eyes from me when I talked to them or them back to me. It's a real drain.

I used to be depressed and sometimes I would wake up with this utter sense of doom then look in the mirror and just not want to go to class, but I made myself go b/c grades are pretty important to me. They are all I have. But now I have sort of gotten used to it and it doesn't really bother me anymore. I have sort of detached myself from others and myself. Sometimes I see my shadow as I walk to class and I'm like, "who is that?" It feels so awakward. Like I'm controlling a puppet or something. It's really strange. A very odd feeling.

I just know the suckage will go on for a long time. It's a small campus. Everyone has made friends already. Everyone but me. I'm the odd man out who can't get in & whom people won't let in. : /

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awww :cry: *huggles you*

some ppl need to grow a frickin brain aye! all i can say is just keep being true to urself!

i'll b ur friend if ya like :) ....i kno its not the same but wadda say??

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I've become detached from people too your not alone... and it seems like everyone makes friends right when school starts ya know? thats when people form their clicks... but there's always tommorrow, always next semester, another chance to start again ya know?

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Your story makes me feel sad too. It reminds me of the bad times in college, of which there were plenty. The social scene just seems to come so easily for some people ..... I always had a hard time connecting, though.

Is there any kind of student group or team or other organization that interests you at all? Something that meets regularly and would provide some kind of interaction? I know it could be really hard to make yourself go ... but if there's something you would enjoy, do it. Anything that gets you into a regular group. Even if those people didn't become your best friends, at least they'd be a step beyond acquaintances ... and the shared experience would give you something to build on.

If that idea doesn't resonate with you, my other suggestion would be that you find some kind of volunteer work to do ... just a few hours a week, but something regular. Work at a homeless shelter or a place that serves free meals, or an animal shelter .... someplace where you'll be needed and you'll come into contact with people who really appreciate the fact that you are there.

It can be really fucking hard to get past your skin and reach out to other people .... but it's not completely impossible.

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good post LQ, she's right, I'm doing gymnastics club right now, it's actually starting to help me get out of my shell. Find some sort of club or sport to get involved in maybe

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As somebody (Woody Allen?) said: 80% of life is JUST SHOWING UP.

It's a hell of a lot harder to do that when you have acne, for obvious reasons. But I have found that it's very true.

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As somebody (Woody Allen?) said: 80% of life is JUST SHOWING UP.

It's a hell of a lot harder to do that when you have acne, for obvious reasons. But I have found that it's very true.

ya but woody allen also married his adopted daughter :razz:

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As somebody (Woody Allen?) said: 80% of life is JUST SHOWING UP.

It's a hell of a lot harder to do that when you have acne, for obvious reasons. But I have found that it's very true.

ya but woody allen also married his adopted daughter :razz:

Pint, I am so glad you raised this critical point.

Sexy ILL, by no means should you marry your adopted daughter. Do not even consider it.

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As somebody (Woody Allen?) said: 80% of life is JUST SHOWING UP.

It's a hell of a lot harder to do that when you have acne, for obvious reasons. But I have found that it's very true.

ya but woody allen also married his adopted daughter :razz:

Pint, I am so glad you raised this critical point.

Sexy ILL, by no means should you marry your adopted daughter. Do not even consider it.

oh u were being sarcastic ... cause i was just being a dick :dance:

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the first few months of college are the hardest for sure. have you joined any clubs or organizations?? that's a really great way to meet people. i hope it gets better for you :(

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i'm alone too at school but its my fault. i dont hang around the campus much. i'm not in any sport or activity. you got to put effort into meeting people.

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I've been ok for the first 3 months or so of college, but I am just really starting to feel drained. I don't have any friends b/c no one seems to want to give me a chance b/c of my face

Stopped reading right there. The fact that you honestly believe nobody wants to be your friend because of your face terrifies me. The truth is, you just don't want to accept yourself because of your face, not the other way around. Confidence is much more visible than you think. Accept yourself first, then everything else will come into place.

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yeah, I'm in APO actually. It's a coed service fraternity (with about 40 girls...and only 4 boys) based on the boyscouts. Basically, I babysit professors' kids for 5 hours on Friday night every other week or so.

They have social events, but I can't bring myself to really go out. They take a ton of pictures while out and such. >.> I guess I should try and really go. They are on Fridays usually.

But really, thatguy, it is hard when the first impression is that people just want to get away from you. Trust me.

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I think it's amazing that you value your education at the level you do and that nothing so far, not even your face, has stopped you from accomplishing that part of your life. A lot of people would have given up totally, you know! You didn't! It shows your potential when you really set your mind at something and when you start beliving in that something.

As a result, I truly believe if you apply those same principals and hard work to your social life, it will pay off for you. LQ had some great ideas! Try different things because not all of them will work out.

Those social events would be a good start, but don't get discouraged if they don't go the way you had hoped. Instead, move on to something else new.

Also, is your redness just taking a lot longer to heal relative to your previous Dermabrasion? Have you had Rosacea before? Has it at least improved your scars some more? :(

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Your story made me tear. I HATE acne so much when I hear these stories, because I can feel you, really and would be devasteted if it happened to me, and I'm just so sad such things happen to good people...

The part that made me the saddest (sp) was when you were listing 'I go to class alone, eat alone, go out alone, study alone...' and so on...

Maybe if you think that that's because the way you look you could think about wearing a bit of tinted moistirizer... Not foundation as I think it' would be too obvious, but tinted moisturizer are good, lightweight, and will hide the redness a bit so you will feel more comfortable...

If you don't want it's ok, and I understand that, and you could try talking to some of your classmate that seem nice and ask him about something you haven't understood in class, and then maybe the conversation will get a bit far from that...

I hope this helps a bit... Don't loose faith, we are all here to listen to you, and will be here for you.

Best of luck.

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It breaks my heart that you feel so alone. I would eat and study and go to the movies with you. Why are appearances so important :wall:

Just so you know there surely are ppl around you who would want to be friends with you but they probably see you alone all the time and think it's of your own chosing. I know that cause in my first year at uni i never talked to anyone, i was all by myself all the time, during breaks i was always reading a book but then i don't know how i realized ppl liked me, so many of them wanted to hang out with me, i was the one rejecting them with my loner attitude.

I guess you could be more open, try to make the first step and go from there...

Im here if you ever wanna just talk or are in need of advice :comfort:

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Fuck dude...this story made me sad :( I have friends who take me for me.I have paranoia some days thinking always they are gonna tease me or something.sad :( i hope somethings turn around 4 u ;)

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