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Guest flutistgurl26

Pure venting

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Guest flutistgurl26

I don't like who I am right now. I'm confused about everything.. and frustrated with myself in more ways than one. I have a talent that I seem to be gradually letting go.. or so it seems lately. I am a lazy person and I don't know what I want out of life. I'm sick of wasting time but not knowing how to change. It should be simple but I'm such a perfectionist that I can't bring myself to do anything worthwhile in my life because the time or conditions are never "right" to start. I want to be like the girl in the movie that ends up doing something great with her life. I need motivation but I don't know where to find it. The one person that truly believes in me gives me instruction on a part of my life that used to mean absolutely everything, but now it's only one piece in a much larger puzzle. I want to travel more than anything in the world... but without my parents. I want to travel with them too, but I feel the need to get away to another country and experience life completely differently. Online schooling has isolated me in my home.. I've had many hard times this year because of that. I have too much free time and not enough responsibilities. I don't have to be anywhere in the morning. If I slept all day every day it wouldn't matter to anyone other than myself.. and I guess my family since sleeping all day isn't particularly normal. I feel trapped and like I'm running in circles week after week.. but I can't talk to anyone about it. I'm sick of procrastinating... I don't start doing my work until it's practically forced upon me to begin. There are so many aspects of my life that I desperately want to improve, but I think the reason I don't is because if I did, who would I share my success with? I don't go anywhere during the day.. And I feel like a sad, sad person..

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oh god i feel like serious crap tonight... like... really really low.... and i could relate to so much of what you just said....

i don't even feel the need to go into a rant of my own because you've pretty much got it all covered here...

i hope you feel better soon. <3

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Guest flutistgurl26

thanks.. I'm currently pulling an all-nighter to get tons of work done that i procrastinated all week.. and it brings me to tears because the work load is overwhelming. I'm just sick of messing up my own life.

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