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Hi

I have to admit this thread has nothing to do with acne whatsoever...but I didn't know who I should talk to about this :(

I already posted in another thread that I've fallen in love with a friend of mine, who actually still has a boyfriend. I really don't want to lose her as a friend so I've never tried anything, I always just kept acting as her friend.

This weekend was very special though...on Friday we've met and had a great time. I've really never felt so happy with someone than with her, not even my ex girlfriend. Unfortunately her boyfriend showed up later that evening. The bad thing was, that he didn't know I was meeting her that evening (just a misunderstanding between them, not that she wanted to keep something from him). So it was a complete disaster and they almost broke up. Yesterday I talked almost the whole afternoon with her and gave her advice what to do to keep this relationsship alive...you can't imagine how hard this was. I'm so incredibly in love with her and then I have to give her advice on how to keep her boyfriend, it couldn't get worse. But as I sad, I want (at least) be her friend, so I didn't try to get her to break up or anything...just be sincere and really advise her what I would do. Unfortunately for me things worked out pretty well between them. And now I'm completely down...I don't know what to do anymore. I'm feeling so lonely..for 2 years I've been single now and I'm really sick of it. Due to this long period I've started to not even try to get to know a girl better beause I just think I have no chance. I've tried so much stuff and it never worked out. And I think I could have a chance, I'm just a bit shy in the beginning...

And I can't stop thinking about this friend of mine....it really kills me right now :( What should I od? I'm desperate...really, she would be so perfect for me :(

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Unless you're certain she feels the same way about you I wouldn't do anything. When you go after a girl with a boyfriend already you certainly lower your chances of hooking up with her. Also ask yourself is it worth your friendship with her. But if she gives you signals that she may feel the same way about you, it may be hard to ignore the possibility.

It sucks being single, I know, I've been single for a while. I've had chances and offers, however the right girl has not appeared in my life. Many of us are shy, acne certainly doesn't help that at all. Some girls could care less if you have acne or not. You never know how you're going to appeal to others unless you put yourself out there and get to know them. I can't really give you advice on how to do that, I haven't exactly mastered that skill myself.

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MichaelH.......Im on the EXACT same page as you....!

I met an amazing gal at my park in Feb.i fell for her so quick it was insane.We live about 1 km from each other...and after we met we kept on seeing each other so much.Until about 2 months i cracked and just told her everything how i feel about her.She returned NONE of those feelings for me.The thing is now we are best friends....and i mean best of best.Her dad is really strict and never lets any guys take her out anywhere except me ;)

The thing is i love her.And she knows i have intense feelings for her....

What i know is gonna happen is this.im gonna actually say the L word (love - i never use it ) infront of her one day.She is either gonna stop seeing me and avoid me.or she is gonna deeply sit down with me and explain how she will never share those feelings for me.I think i need that...cauz she drives me nuts.no other girl can stand next to her for me.

I need help....! im lovesick aswell.

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Guest No Pride

If you keep doing what you are doing then you will keep getting what you have gotten. Giving advice on how she can get back with her boyfriend won't get you anywhere. Be a man, be confident. Women have enough friends and girlfriends that can give them advice on men. You need to tease, not be so needy, give her space, dont worry about being a little too confident. Id say keep her as a friend because she may be able to help you out with your problem. Ask her if she knows anyone who is single and looking. If she sees you dating other women she may get jealous and want to give you a shot. Yeah, I wish treating women like princesses and friends got guys laid, but its just not the case. Not gonna happen. Be chivalrous though, of course, but not a pussy. Dont do like what the guy did above me and fall in love so quick. That scares women (and men) away.

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dude i fell in love after knowing her for 8 months!!! 8 months almost EVERY single day.so dont mock me bud.....

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thanks for all the replies

It's a tough decision..but I won't do what you're doing matty boy. I won't tell her anything as long she's in a relationship, because this doesn't make any sense at all, because then she probably just stays with her bf and we wouldn't be as close friends as we're now.

I'll probably just continue to see her, even if it hurts horribly each time I have to say goodbye..or the worst, if I see her with her boyfriend :(

And the idea about asking her for a single friend of her's isn't that bad though...I'll probably try that someday.

But right now I'm just depressed...because she's really so perfect for me in my opinion :( Even if she looks way better than I do...her bf is also not as good looking as her. We'll see. I should have studied for university today and couldn't do anything :(

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No i totally agree....while she has a BF!!! dont say anything!

but now ask yourself this....would you take the risk if she was single?

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Here's how I see it. First you need to decide which you want more...

1.) The chance to be with this girl.

2.) Your friendship with her boyfriend.

I've dated a lot of girls - none of those relationships have lasted as long as my friendships with my old high school buddies. So, it is something to think about. But if you think this girl is perfect; then I think it's probably worth it.

So, let's assume you decide to go for the girl. Then that's it; go for her. Spend time with her, call her, make plans with her, laugh with her, have a tickle fight - kiss her. See if she kisses you back.

That's my advice anyway. Don't make a huge deal out of the situation. She's just a girl, and you're just a guy who'd like to get with her. The more you hype it up, the harder it is - and then you find yourself in a situation where you 'LOVE HER SO MUCH' and she has no clue that you two aren't just friends - and then you have some elaborate 'Okay - we need to talk. I REALLY like you' and she goes 'Ummm, okay....' and it's awkward.

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Guest *mike*

I'm in sort of the same situation. The girl I really like kissed me then the other day she said that something was happening in terms of her love life. I felt like shit. I keep trying to tell myself that if she kissed me than she must like me.

I havn't spoken to her since she told me, which was a few days ago.

I might just get her to meet up with me in town and then tell her how I feel.

I feel like she sent out the wrong message by kissing me if she doesn't see me as anything more than a friend.

And Michael - I think what you did was really nice and shows what kind of person you are. It was probably pretty tempting to not give her advice on how to sort things out with her b/f.

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No offense but giving advice was kinda silly. I understand you're her friend but you want it too be something more than that no? Why help the other guy?

yeah bro, you can comfort her and all, but you don't have to fix her problems. in fact, you should have let the situation go and see what happens to the girl and guy. but oh well, what is done is done..

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do you think I shouldn't have helped her? Or give her wrong advice?

Today I asked her if she wants to go to watch a movie this week with me, but no answer so far :( I'm more depressed then ever before...this problem even tops my whole skin problems by far...and now it's so flaky again that I don't even dare to see her again :( I really just don't know what to do anymore and I have no'one I can talk about this :(

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do you think I shouldn't have helped her? Or give her wrong advice?

Today I asked her if she wants to go to watch a movie this week with me, but no answer so far :( I'm more depressed then ever before...this problem even tops my whole skin problems by far...and now it's so flaky again that I don't even dare to see her again :( I really just don't know what to do anymore and I have no'one I can talk about this :(

well helping her was a judgement call. i can full understand why you did it because you cared for her so much. giving a wrong answer would have been worst since it wouldn't be morally right. when you asked her to go see movies, did you offer to go just between you two? girls have these weird 6th sense detecting if guys like them, so maybe she senses you have interest in her? :think:

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No not really..but I mean it like that, that it would be only us two.

But whatever...what do I even hope for. There's no hope at all..my life is shit and it will stay that way...if I would be more brave, I'll probably already drove in my car off a cliff or something...I just hate all this :(

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Michael... your story is exactly like mine...

...only obviously, I'm in love with a guy who has a girlfriend. And he is perfect for me in every way, and apparently he told a coworker he liked me too. Turns out he tried to break up with his gf and he went out with me once, and while we were going out his girlfriend came up in conversation and he told me he wasnt' sure what to do, and stupid me gave him advice because I though it would sound selfish to tell him I liked him. But... because of my advice, his girlfriend got him back, and basically his gf hates me because she knows I like him... etc. It's a pretty bad feeling to not be able to tell them your feelings for fear of the friendship ending and losing all contact.

Stay her friend, be her friend. In time, you may find that she will break it off with her boyfriend, and you will have a chance. I believe that relationships that start out as friendships are stronger than ones that don't. This is the view I have and I've been real close to nabbing this guy, and I get closer every time. Keep trying... and remember to be greatful of whatever you can get from being her friend, if the love is that unconditional.

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she wrote back now and said yes to watch a movie together..however only next week :( I just can't wait so long to see her again..especially if I know that she's seeing her bf all the time :(

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grow some balls dude.

if you are man enough you'd tell her how you feel :) or you can play the game you are playing, stalking the prey until the time is right.... then POUNCE

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