Girls / Women: Do you ever feel like you're invisible to guys

[cleardream 0]

But then if you put it on & cover up all the eruptions & redness, you get noticed? This happens to me all the time and it really kills me inside. Cuz it basically tells me that I'd be pretty If.

I feel like I have an ugly mask (pimply skin) on top of the beauty (my actual face, energy, personality, and features)... but then I have to use another, fake mask (makeup) for guys to see any natural beauty. I am so @%(#(^)#&[email protected] sick of acne!!!!!

(Even if you have an experience unrelated to makeup specifically, feel free to vent! )

[naivesilly 0]

I actually think it's largely how you FEEL. I know it's a cliché, but when I'm all made up with my hair done and I know I look great, I feel great and I'm a lot flirtier and more outgoing, which makes me get approached by guys. I know how you feel though. When you meet someone in a pub or club and you're looking good, that's one thing, but I always worry when they ask to see me again in the daytime, just for a coffee or something. No good lighting, makeup more obvious, no alcohol... that kind of thing.

[rosiemarie 0]

YES...and in the clothes i wear.

[sixfeetunder 1]

Oh jeez, I wish I was invisible to guys. I'd love to not be noticed and for people to leave me alone but it feels as though they are all staring at my skin, even with makeup on because it's still completely noticable I have awful, awful skin.

But I totally understand what you're saying though, my makeup is like another skin to me.. the one I use to cover up my own. I hate feeling so fake but I feel I have no other choice. I'd love more than anything to be looked at for who I really am underneath the makeup and bad skin (both physically and personality wise) ..I can't imagine what it would be like to be told you're pretty when you have no makeup or anything on to cover up your true looks. I hate having to have a mask on to feel anywhere near normal or to give myself the tiniest bit of confidence, I'd feel better if it actually hid my scars and crap skin but seeing as it doesn't even do that I end up feeling ugly and fake. S'probably why most of my friends see me at parties and stuff all the time where it's dark and more relaxed but hardly ever in the daytime. I can't wait for the day I feel able to face the world with nothing but my own skin and when I'm able to throw out all the crap I have to use but I don't think that's going to be happening anytime in the near future. What's also depressing is that I prefer my face without make up, I hate the way it looks and feels..it's just not me at all, my features look better without it, Imo. But with all these marks, scars, bumps and redness I've got I have no choice.

[Alberto Mora 1]

Oh jeez, I wish I was invisible to guys. I'd love to not be noticed and for people to leave me alone but it feels as though they are all staring at my skin, even with makeup on because it's still completely noticable I have awful, awful skin.

But I totally understand what you're saying though, my makeup is like another skin to me.. the one I use to cover up my own. I hate feeling so fake but I feel I have no other choice. I'd love more than anything to be looked at for who I really am underneath the makeup and bad skin (both physically and personality wise) ..I can't imagine what it would be like to be told you're pretty when you have no makeup or anything on to cover up your true looks. I hate having to have a mask on to feel anywhere near normal or to give myself the tiniest bit of confidence, I'd feel better if it actually hid my scars and crap skin but seeing as it doesn't even do that I end up feeling ugly and fake. S'probably why most of my friends see me at parties and stuff all the time where it's dark and more relaxed but hardly ever in the daytime. I can't wait for the day I feel able to face the world with nothing but my own skin and when I'm able to throw out all the crap I have to use but I don't think that's going to be happening anytime in the near future. :( What's also depressing is that I prefer my face without make up, I hate the way it looks and feels..it's just not me at all, my features look better without it, Imo. But with all these marks, scars, bumps and redness I've got I have no choice.

OK, maybe you are going to yell at me, but let me just make my point.

You say people stare at your skin, because you have marks, scars, bumps, etc... And you think they stare because they find it ugly. Well, maybe some of them do. But what if they stared because they find you cute.

Not everyone thinkgs that marks, scars and bumps are ugly. Some people think they are nice. They can put into value nice features. Just like freckels or moles can.

You don't believe me? But, after all, you say yourself that you prefer you face without makeup, that it makes your features look better. Only, you do not want to see that your acne does not have to be against your beauty, it can be a part of it.

So what about giving yourself a chance, just once: one day, do not put any makeup. Be natural. Show everyone your nice features, with all marks, scars, bumps and redness. And think about it: if people stare at you, maybe that means that they find you beautiful. Honestly.

[cleardream 0]

I actually think it's largely how you FEEL. I know it's a cliché, but when I'm all made up with my hair done and I know I look great, I feel great and I'm a lot flirtier and more outgoing, which makes me get approached by guys.

hahah... funny, i knew someone would say something like this. :) actually, for me, the situations i was specifically referring to when i posted this, are the ones where it's really the makeup. see, i have this thing where i'll be walking down the street during a typical weekday wearing whatever i typically wear on a typical weekday, and i'll be lost in my own thoughts and totally oblivious to what's going on... and then suddenly i'll notice that all the males are paying attention to me. they're watching me, making eye contact (instead of glancing at my chin and walking by), heads turning as i pass them... and i'll think to myself, "what's going on? do i look funny or something?" then i'll realize, "oh, i'm wearing makeup today." and it'll make sense.

and don't get me wrong, i don't even wear anything except foundation/concealer. (so it's not like, garish makeup with bright red lipstick and goth-like eyeliner or something, lol.) which really indicates to me that when this happens, it's all due to the makeup. because when i'm just going about my business like that, and everything else (mood, clothes, hair) is exactly the same, it's the only changed factor. it sucks. :wall:

[cleardream 0]

What's also depressing is that I prefer my face without make up, I hate the way it looks and feels..it's just not me at all, my features look better without it, Imo. But with all these marks, scars, bumps and redness I've got I have no choice.

i know exactly how you feel! :(

[sixfeetunder 1]

Oh jeez, I wish I was invisible to guys. I'd love to not be noticed and for people to leave me alone but it feels as though they are all staring at my skin, even with makeup on because it's still completely noticable I have awful, awful skin.

But I totally understand what you're saying though, my makeup is like another skin to me.. the one I use to cover up my own. I hate feeling so fake but I feel I have no other choice. I'd love more than anything to be looked at for who I really am underneath the makeup and bad skin (both physically and personality wise) ..I can't imagine what it would be like to be told you're pretty when you have no makeup or anything on to cover up your true looks. I hate having to have a mask on to feel anywhere near normal or to give myself the tiniest bit of confidence, I'd feel better if it actually hid my scars and crap skin but seeing as it doesn't even do that I end up feeling ugly and fake. S'probably why most of my friends see me at parties and stuff all the time where it's dark and more relaxed but hardly ever in the daytime. I can't wait for the day I feel able to face the world with nothing but my own skin and when I'm able to throw out all the crap I have to use but I don't think that's going to be happening anytime in the near future. :( What's also depressing is that I prefer my face without make up, I hate the way it looks and feels..it's just not me at all, my features look better without it, Imo. But with all these marks, scars, bumps and redness I've got I have no choice.

OK, maybe you are going to yell at me, but let me just make my point.

You say people stare at your skin, because you have marks, scars, bumps, etc... And you think they stare because they find it ugly. Well, maybe some of them do. But what if they stared because they find you cute.

Not everyone thinkgs that marks, scars and bumps are ugly. Some people think they are nice. They can put into value nice features. Just like freckels or moles can.

You don't believe me? But, after all, you say yourself that you prefer you face without makeup, that it makes your features look better. Only, you do not want to see that your acne does not have to be against your beauty, it can be a part of it.

So what about giving yourself a chance, just once: one day, do not put any makeup. Be natural. Show everyone your nice features, with all marks, scars, bumps and redness. And think about it: if people stare at you, maybe that means that they find you beautiful. Honestly.

Nope I'm not going to yell at you because you're completely right. I know I should just not bother with trying to hide it and cover it up, it would take a lot less effort and time.. not to mention it feels much, much better on my skin. But I really can't bring myself to do that right now.. I wouldn't care about going out with zits and marks but it's mainly the redness that makes me feel uncomfortable bare faced around people. It's slowly fading but the whole of my face has been so irritated for such a long time that it's really red and looks a completely different colour to my neck. It's worse than it sounds, honestly. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable... and I can practically guarantee that people would be staring because of that, out of shock. It's just the natural thing for them to do when they see something abnormal. It's not because they find me cute.. I know that beauty is subjective but I find it impossible to believe they are looking at me because they find me attractive. . .I know not everyone out there cares what you look like but a fair amount of them would no doubt make comments or make lingering looks which would destroy my self esteem even more :( It's like acne and redness is fine on other people, I wouldn't give two hoots about it and to me, I would go out w/o makeup if I looked like most of the people on this site. But I just can't accept it on myself.. I feel the need to try and make my skin look better, even though it ends up looking horrible anyway, I feel it's too bad right now for me to even be able to think about going out bare-faced. Sad but true. I probably could if I was a stronger person and had more confidence in myself :doubt: I know it's silly but this is how I feel.

However, I am planning on throwing out the make up for good once this awful redness fades out a bit.. I'm already using less, just not ready to take it all off yet. And I've switched to minerals which aren't irritating to my skin and feel much lighter. And, if it means anything, I haven't had makeup on yesterday or today ..which is like a record for me.. I haven't been out anywhere though so it's not a very significant breakthrough but I'm still quite proud of myself!

But thanks though, I know it sounds ridiculous but make up gets quite addictive - once you start using it it's difficult to go back to none because you can see how it helps to covers things up. You are absolutely right, I should just let people see my true face, I don't think I can go out like that quite yet but I am gradually getting there, as my skin improves (thank you accutane :pray:). It's my goal and hopefully soon I'll have the guts to do it :angel:

What's also depressing is that I prefer my face without make up, I hate the way it looks and feels..it's just not me at all, my features look better without it, Imo. But with all these marks, scars, bumps and redness I've got I have no choice.

i know exactly how you feel! :(

It sucks doesn't it? I know I don't physically have to put it on but it's like mentally I just have to. Hopefully one day soon we'll be able to throw all this junk out for good and be able to feel good about ourselves in our own skin. :comfort:

[katethegreat 0]

I feel invisible a lot. I'm tall and awkward . I hardly ever feel pretty.

[rosiemarie 0]

It's my goal and hopefully soon I'll have the guts to do it

[sixfeetunder 1]

Thankyou so much! I hope I will

[cleardream 0]

my acne is only in 1 area (chin + around the mouth), but particularly bad there. meaning lots of active acne (red bumps + medium-sized whiteheads), "bumps" (clogged pores/blackheads), plus extremely red scarring that's been there for years. so because of the stark division of normal skin vs. horrible skin, i feel like it makes me look particularly freakish. more so than if i had, say, mild acne scattered around my face. and since my skin is naturally very fair, i swear, i look like a canadian flag -- red & white.

hence the feeling of being invisible to guys if i don't cover up, and the "need" for makeup just to look halfway normal.

[sixfeetunder 1]

Exactly what's going on with my skin, except it's my whole face which is redder than it should be. But like you, mainly it's my chin that makes it so bad, because it's right by my neck the difference in colour is so obvious. I have like a really pale skintone too and then there's my red chin and face in complete contrast to the rest of me. I can barely see one patch of skin on my face that's the colour it should be anymore. It's horrible And I know what you mean about it looking better if it was mild acne scattered around. I've often wished I could have that instead. As long as the main colour of my face matched my body I wouldn't feel anywhere near as bad, even if I had more acne I probably still wouldn't wear makeup. But, it doesn't match and so I am stuck like this, feeling like a freak

[Bellita716 0]

But then if you put it on & cover up all the eruptions & redness, you get noticed? This happens to me all the time and it really kills me inside. Cuz it basically tells me that I'd be pretty If.

I feel like I have an ugly mask (pimply skin) on top of the beauty (my actual face, energy, personality, and features)... but then I have to use another, fake mask (makeup) for guys to see any natural beauty. I am so @%(#(^)#&[email protected] sick of acne!!!!!

(Even if you have an experience unrelated to makeup specifically, feel free to vent! :D)

I so feel your pain...I can never go anywhere without my face being spraypainted on... If I do everyone stares...I am so sick of acne....Go away...go away......

[Mandy Ann 1]

Honestly, for me.. I dont mind makeup at all. 98% of girls I know where some form of coverup... even when their skin is FLAWLESS (I've seen plenty of gals really good skin come in the bathroom and cake on foundation). I dont think of it as being fake or hiding what you look like.. I think of it as simply enhancing your features and making some improvements to your imperfections

[rosiemarie 0]

yea i look pasty without some blush on

[Kitty_Collins 1]

I actually think it's largely how you FEEL. I know it's a cliché, but when I'm all made up with my hair done and I know I look great, I feel great and I'm a lot flirtier and more outgoing, which makes me get approached by guys.

hahah... funny, i knew someone would say something like this. :) actually, for me, the situations i was specifically referring to when i posted this, are the ones where it's really the makeup. see, i have this thing where i'll be walking down the street during a typical weekday wearing whatever i typically wear on a typical weekday, and i'll be lost in my own thoughts and totally oblivious to what's going on... and then suddenly i'll notice that all the males are paying attention to me. they're watching me, making eye contact (instead of glancing at my chin and walking by), heads turning as i pass them... and i'll think to myself, "what's going on? do i look funny or something?" then i'll realize, "oh, i'm wearing makeup today." and it'll make sense.

and don't get me wrong, i don't even wear anything except foundation/concealer. (so it's not like, garish makeup with bright red lipstick and goth-like eyeliner or something, lol.) which really indicates to me that when this happens, it's all due to the makeup. because when i'm just going about my business like that, and everything else (mood, clothes, hair) is exactly the same, it's the only changed factor. it sucks. :wall:

Hey now! There's nothing wrong with red lipstick. It's a classic.

[oceanmist 0]

man. i TOTALLY relate to all you girls.

the idea of ppl seeing me without makeup horrifies me. i don't look like the same person anymore. i hate makeup because i swear ALL my girl friends and other acquantainces have like AMAZING flawless skin... they never wear makeup and are the type of girls who can wake up in the morning and look perfect. they are all great people and dont wear makeup cuz they like their natural beauty, and wearing makeup is too high-matainence, and vain........while me, i have to "work" to look "normal"... covering up all that crap... (and it doesn't even do a good job, especially lately...)

i hate it. ppl tell me i'm pretty, but i wear makeup everyday. (only foundation). then i think to myself... yeah right.. if you saw my "real" face, you'd think otherwise..... ugh. which KILLS me... i mean, i just want to be NORMAL like everyone else.... and not have to work so hard to look decent/presentable...! "natural beauty"....... *sigh*

*FUSTRATIONS!!!!****

[kanmi 2]

Ha, I feel invisible with make up or without.

[elaine15 0]

YES! Sometimes I feel so fake wearing makeup

I don't have the courage yet to go au natural outside so I wouldn't know guys' reaction when they see my natural face, but I have witnessed my friend who doesn't get much attention from guys and one day, she came to school with some sheer foundation and light lipgloss and BOOM! Suddenly guys in our class would just stare at her for awhile like seeing her in a whole new light, and guys walking around campus will look at her out of the corner of their eyes.

The difference is clear ladies and sometimes I wish the world isn't so shallow huh!

[Alberto Mora 1]

Nope I'm not going to yell at you because you're completely right. I know I should just not bother with trying to hide it and cover it up, it would take a lot less effort and time.. not to mention it feels much, much better on my skin. But I really can't bring myself to do that right now.. I wouldn't care about going out with zits and marks but it's mainly the redness that makes me feel uncomfortable bare faced around people. It's slowly fading but the whole of my face has been so irritated for such a long time that it's really red and looks a completely different colour to my neck. It's worse than it sounds, honestly. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable... and I can practically guarantee that people would be staring because of that, out of shock. It's just the natural thing for them to do when they see something abnormal. It's not because they find me cute.. I know that beauty is subjective but I find it impossible to believe they are looking at me because they find me attractive. . .I know not everyone out there cares what you look like but a fair amount of them would no doubt make comments or make lingering looks which would destroy my self esteem even more :( It's like acne and redness is fine on other people, I wouldn't give two hoots about it and to me, I would go out w/o makeup if I looked like most of the people on this site. But I just can't accept it on myself.. I feel the need to try and make my skin look better, even though it ends up looking horrible anyway, I feel it's too bad right now for me to even be able to think about going out bare-faced. Sad but true. I probably could if I was a stronger person and had more confidence in myself :doubt: I know it's silly but this is how I feel.

The redness you speak off, is this red marks left by acne, or a reaction to the use of makeup?

[sixfeetunder 1]

It's from the acne and also from using accutane- that seemed to make my redness flare up quite a bit and give me fairly bad flushing. I'm near enough certain that it's not the makeup, although I did find out that my old makeup had been irritating my skin but now I've switched to a different type which is much better and the redness is improving slowly. Hopefully soon I won't feel I have to wear any foundation at all. Actually I haven't worn makeup in 3 days now.. my family are seeing my real skin for the first time in years. Apart from the fact that I look like crap it actually feels kinda good! I doubt I'll have the guts to go outside like this for a while though, but I'm getting there!

[jellyandicecreaminabowl 0]

Hey. Being a guy, I obviously dont wear make-up. But most of us can see natural beauty, make-up or no make-up. So dont stress about whether you have it on or not. Im sure youre all really naturally attractive.

[Wəəgəə 0]

I'm a guy and I feel like this. Sometimes I wish I could see through girls make up because it makes me feel uneasy. Girls look older and more mature with make up on, it throws me off. Then I realize everyone's skin looks 100 times better than mine and that makes me a little nervous. makeup puts girls on a higher level than me.

[canadian 0]

makeup puts girls on a higher level than me.

Thing about it this way buddy - if they wear make up it's because they're trying to hide something from ya or aren't confident enough to not wear make-up. This alone puts you on a higher level than them.

To the girls here, I seriously prefer a girl without any makeup, it turns me off for some reason, au-naturel is the way to go imo! :)