Evan4491 0 Share Posted October 16, 2006 I've known since last March that my stepdad had pancreatic cancer. I remember sitting in the living room watching TV and I hear the door open and my parent's are back from the doctors. They seem calm at first but then my mom starts crying and she says that my stepdad has cancer.Today after a few months of natural treatments he went back to the doctors for a CAT scan and they discovered his tumors were only getting larger. This is a rare kind of cancer and there arn'e many treatments out there. It's really sad because they give him 12 months to live...It's not fair. I'm tearing up even as I type this. I can't even imagine how much my life will change when he dies (which I'm diong everything in my power to stop). I live in a in a large family and my mom doesn't really have a well-paying job and now I realize that this might be my last Christmas with my stepdad. We won't be able to afford our house anymore and we'll have to move. AAnd we won't have the nice clothes, or the newest things. I can't bear to think of it! Lofe is so unfair. You people complain of the smallest things and you don't realize how good you have it. I'm so lost and depressed and I can't type anymore. We (my family) don't deserve this. Sometimes I doubt there is a God.I need to be strong and find a way to save him. I'll do anything and everything it takes...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andi 0 Share Posted October 16, 2006 I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time, I can't imagine how I would feel if my stepdad, or anyone close to me for that matter were going through this.I know there's really not much I can say to help right now, you're going to feel how you feel, but just keep in mind that everything will be okay.I've definitely gone through my moments of questioning God, but whatever you believe, if you did/do believe in God, just know that God is going to be there for you and your family. It might not feel like it at this moment but I believe that there are things we will never understand until we are in a higher state, whatever or where ever that may be.Just be there for your dad and be supportive, and optimistic, that will help him the most.PrayMeditateWhatever it takes for you to clear your mind but also replenish it at the same time, does that make sense?What I mean is by letting go of something you can't control, you suddenly feel like you have the most control that you've ever had.Anyway I'm rambling. I really hope things get better and I will pray for you and your family. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
natalie_xox 0 Share Posted October 16, 2006 My father passed away from cancer about two years ago.i feel the same way you did.my mother lost her faith in god, and now i'm kind of nuetral.but dont give up hope... i had it til the very end.the best you can do is be there to love, support, and help him as much as you can.just know that all that happens you had no control over. i spent sooo much time going over the what if we'd caught it sooner, what if the doctor could've seen this.. what if what if. but really in retrospect, there's nothing i could've done.and now... my mom struggles almost to keep up with things. So what we dont get to wear the most expensive clothing, or play the coolest games.. but we have my mom left. and seeing her struggle w/ the loss of my dad is motive enough to try and continue living, making it best for her. she said if we were'nt here she wouldn't have no point in going on. think about your mom too. she needs you just as much. even now, i've yet to have any real "closure" not to say i ever can. i never dealt with it (he passed when i was a sophomore).. freshman in college now..... thinkin who's gonna walk me down the aisle/ give me away, no father daughter dance.all the randomness that comes along with it.keep up your hope. try your best to stay postive. I fell into a deep hole of loss .. and have yet to climb out of it.if you need to talk, feel free to pm me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tdot 3 Share Posted October 16, 2006 I've known since last March that my stepdad had pancreatic cancer. I remember sitting in the living room watching TV and I hear the door open and my parent's are back from the doctors. They seem calm at first but then my mom starts crying and she says that my stepdad has cancer. Today after a few months of natural treatments he went back to the doctors for a CAT scan and they discovered his tumors were only getting larger. This is a rare kind of cancer and there arn'e many treatments out there. It's really sad because they give him 12 months to live... It's not fair. I'm tearing up even as I type this. I can't even imagine how much my life will change when he dies (which I'm diong everything in my power to stop). I live in a in a large family and my mom doesn't really have a well-paying job and now I realize that this might be my last Christmas with my stepdad. We won't be able to afford our house anymore and we'll have to move. AAnd we won't have the nice clothes, or the newest things. I can't bear to think of it! Lofe is so unfair. You people complain of the smallest things and you don't realize how good you have it. I'm so lost and depressed and I can't type anymore. We (my family) don't deserve this. Sometimes I doubt there is a God. I need to be strong and find a way to save him. I'll do anything and everything it takes... ... I'm so sorry you are going through this, I will pray for you and your family. I hope he gets better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rosiemarie 0 Share Posted October 17, 2006 stay strong....the most important thing is family.life isnt fair, there is no reason to cancer. i hate it to. today i just learned that the dad of friend of mine passed away from brain cancer. it makes me realize how important everything really is. my own dad beat cancer a few years back, there is always hope. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpidermanLover 0 Share Posted October 17, 2006 isnt there some guy that cures cancer in asia? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Melodie 0 Share Posted October 17, 2006 I hope things get better for you and your family. I've read a lot about cancer and one thing you and your family can do that is simple is make sure your dad eats really healthy, fruit,veggies,water, only healthy stuff. Seems most doctors fail at telling patients simple things that will make a huge difference in someones ability to recover. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Little Miss 2 Share Posted October 17, 2006 I'm so sorry. I won't pretend I know what you are going through, I can only imagine. But I know how I would feel if my own dad got cancer and it doesn't bear thinking about at all. My dad is not well at the moment and he went to the docs and I suspect he is hiding something from me. He will tell me eventually what it is, but I can feel the word "cancer" going around in my brain. I pray to God it isn't anything like that. I would just die. My mum already has MS and to have dad having a life changing/threatening illness too would be too much for any of us to cope with.I can't stand illness. Its just awful.My thought are with you at this time.xx Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Betty-Boop 0 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Well my Mom had mouth cancer, and about to die. The doc/surgeon put off his holiday to give her surgery. As she needed it immediatly. yes it did get into her lymph nodes, and they watch her lungs. (She does not smoke).So she had surg. and it took like 18 hours to complete all the skin graphting and all.Big wait, then one of the nurses left her alone ( a no no ), and her trachia tube had come loose and she had lost oxygen!!!!Off to ICU , but by the time she got there she had went blind from the oxygen loss.My poor Mom still young, and could not return to her beloved work.Life is a bitch. 4 years cancer free, yes she is alive, thank god, but her spirit for life has diminished.Yes my dad took an early retirement to care for and do things with her.Nothing is the same as she was so fiery, and like totally social, now she of course is kinda faded. Poor her, we fought in my teens, but found some ground, and went out for drinks together when i was well maybe kinda close to age.Great Mom, but what the fuck can we do fun now???????????Ideas anyone??? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wadsthepointofliving 0 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Hey dont lose faith in God, no matter what happens he'll guide you all the way if u dont lose faith and hope. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Little Miss 2 Share Posted October 17, 2006 Well my Mom had mouth cancer, and about to die. The doc/surgeon put off his holiday to give her surgery. As she needed it immediatly. yes it did get into her lymph nodes, and they watch her lungs. (She does not smoke). So she had surg. and it took like 18 hours to complete all the skin graphting and all. Big wait, then one of the nurses left her alone ( a no no ), and her trachia tube had come loose and she had lost oxygen!!!! Off to ICU , but by the time she got there she had went blind from the oxygen loss. My poor Mom still young, and could not return to her beloved work. Life is a bitch. 4 years cancer free, yes she is alive, thank god, but her spirit for life has diminished. Yes my dad took an early retirement to care for and do things with her. Nothing is the same as she was so fiery, and like totally social, now she of course is kinda faded. Poor her, we fought in my teens, but found some ground, and went out for drinks together when i was well maybe kinda close to age. Great Mom, but what the fuck can we do fun now??????????? Ideas anyone??? Hi, I am in a similar position to you. My mum got MS when she was still quite young, it is the progressive type so she has no periods of remittance, its just a gradual decline. We used to do loads as a family. But then dad had to take early retirement to be her carer, and everything has changed. Everyone is depresssed and stressed all the time and its like we are a completely different family. We can't do any of the stuff we used to do. Its rubbish. And now I think my Dad has got problems with his prostate. He is having tests at the moment, but knowing the luck of our family, it wil be something serious. I'm just tired of having to deal with all this. We never have any kind of luck. Just as I start to accept a situation, something else comes along to knock us down. We deserve a bit of luck, surely? I just realised the original poster posted this over a year ago! Why bring this back up? I don't know if this has any relevance, but my dad went to the docs today as he is having problems with his prostate. And then all of a sudden this post comes up with the title cancer, which is over a year old, is it a sign? I hope to God its not! Please tell me its not a sign. Please God! Quote Link to post Share on other sites