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the way acne has changed my behavior is undeniable.

My posture is incredible. I've always had low self-esteem and bad posture, but now it's insane. I often shrug my shoulders up high, trying to

get my head to retreat into my torso as far as possible - like a turtle.

I'll wear scarves in summer and large sunglasses in the winter.

I often make several weird hand gestures that cover my face [-X [-o< =; :-k

I never look people in the eye. I only glance them in the eye from the side.

I look at the ground...a lot. Had some close calls in terms of crashes while walking.

My favorite way to meet people is outside at night and in other dark places.

I turn down countless invitations and spend little to no time socializing. This can be a bitch because I am an outgoing eccentric by nature, and I love performing too.

I tell myself everyday that it will go away. Most people my age have parted with it though. I try to assure myself by thinking of all the places on my face and body were I used to break out that are now clear, hoping that once each patch of skin has paid its dues, it'll disapear. I tell myself all the things I am going to do when it's gone, to make up for lost time. Yes, the cause comes from within, and so does the solution. I've had a wide range of fantasies, including tearing off my face completely and walking around with smooth, white, polished, bone (like ghost rider!) or getting my skin surgically replaced with some non-organic substaance (like micheal jackson, no?). Other times I fantasize about Jesus healing me, even though I'm not a Christian. I often think of the faith and perseverance of humanity when I am troubled by my looks.

I'm currently downing ethrimcyin or whatever it's called and topping it off with retin a. I can't say they've made my skin good, but you could possibly argue that it's prevented it from being worse. I first got pimples around 7th grade, on my nose and cheecks. I used to worry about that. God, how dumb I was. I wish I had that skin now. That was before I discovered cycsts, in the 9th grade. They showed up on my nose every now and then. Then my nose cleared up and has been clear since...but the battle relocated to the far reaches of my cheeks, paralell to the ear and eventually down the neck. I was always specked there, but a year ago when I had a major emotional crisis it got enflamed, and even spread to the flanks of my chin, the underbelly of the neck. Now, my chin is really screwed up for the first time. It's got sore pimples that have no head on them (the deep breed, painful but not cysts.) And my chin is cracking an chapping and turning red. This really sucks. I envy my old friend, who one year looked like freddy krueger, and then ended up looking like a baby the next. I never figured out what his secret was.

I understand that acne is still a freaking mystery to medicine. I mean, if you have a goiter, yoiu take your iodine and it goes away. If you have asthma, you can puff on an inhaler. If you have acne, well, you can choose one of 100 treatments. It's very superstitous with all the rituals, and everyone has a different opinion for what to do (ice first then BP, then ice...no BP, then ice, then BP with ice, then face Mecca...). I've even seen some idiotic lamp that you shine on your face! Reminds me of mideval medicine: (Get a priest to put these leaches on him!) One day acne will be cured though, just like small pox, and it'll disapear like poc marks from peoples faces (George Washinton was a real crater-face due to small pox, but all his paintings have him with nice skin) Also, Abraham Linclon had terrible acne for the nearly entire duration of his life (Again, the painitngs). Now there's a role-model for you. To bad we live in a day and age where Cosmopolitan sells better than the bible.

But do you guys think that BP is better than retin A? Also, if I may give any advice, I would like to say stay away from Oxy and other Sylcllic (or however you say it) acid products. That crap will eat through your flesh. Every time I've tried the acid, it's gotten worse. Just remember, the real cure is inside of you...it's just got to be released by your biological clock or something.

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yaeh i understand, i also love the darkness, especially when it rains, but no lightning storm because that makes things visible again.

Dont know if habits like this will ever disappear for me, i sure hope so.

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the way acne has changed my behavior is undeniable.

I often make several weird hand gestures that cover my face [-X  [-o<  =;  :-k 

I never look people in the eye. I only glance them in the eye from the side.

I look at the ground...a lot. Had some close calls in terms of crashes while walking.

My favorite way to meet people is outside at night and in other dark places.

I turn down countless invitations and spend little to no time socializing. This can be a bitch because I am an outgoing eccentric by nature, and I love performing too.

I definitely can relate to ya... ](*,)

That's a real interesting bit about george washington. I didn't know!!

I've never used Retin A, but I like BP a whole lot... its been good 2 me.

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I can really relate to your suffering. I have suffered with acne for most of my life (36 years) and believe it or not I still get occasional pimples. Acne has totally changed my personality. I was confident and full of life as a child. I recently looked at a picture of me with my sisters when I was about 4 or 5. Even with the burden of being the middle child I looked so happy and fun loving. The reaction of society towards my acne gradually tore away every shred of confidence and sucked the life right out of me.

Somehow I have managed to be a productive member of society despite my affliction but I often wonder how. I'm just not the person I would have been and my interests, behavior, personality and choices have all been governed by my acne. Now that I'm getting older I really resent that I missed so much of a normal life. I didn't get to date and do all the fun things that teenagers and young aldults do before they settle down.

I really believe the cause of acne can be found. There just needs to be an organized effort. If I could go back in time and re-do my treatment of acne the first thing I would do is go to an endocrinologist (even if I had to pay for it myself) and get my thyroid and adrenal hormones tested. I really believe that cystic acne is an endocrine disease not a skin disease.

After taking just about every antibiotic offered for acne between 1973 and 1981 with no results, I am 98% confident that antibiotics are not the answer for cystic acne. They can make cystic acne worse rather than better. I also question the use of Accutane even though it helped me the first time I took it. I feel it is a very toxic treatment with long term negative consequences.

If I could do it over again I also would not leave harsh chemicals on my skin. For years I used BP leaving it on over night. Now I use salicylic acid but wash it off after 10 minutes. I then apply a lotion for blotchy skin that contains vitamin K. I also take levoxyl for hypothyroidism and spironolactone (50 mg) for my skin sensitivity to androgen.

I hope you will continue to look for a solution for your acne at the same time you pursue the things you love. You have to ask the hard questions of your doctors and keep asking until you get answers. You also have to keep pushing which is hard me those of us with low confidence.

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I was just thinking the other day, in this day and age of greed, if a cure was ever discovered, do you think that oxy and nutrogena would buy it and then destroy it? I mean, they make all their money off of the problem, not the solution!

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What´s with the religious references? I hate to tell you but Cosmo is probably more interesting than the bible. Ever tried to read that thing? Bah. Tough luck with your skin.

Take a long term look, try the cure here, or The Acne Cure (the book one), see a derm, accutane, etc. The options are many, but don`t expect things to improve immediately.

Most of all, don´t think you´re alone, lots of people are in your situation unfortunately, and you´re in a good place to meet them here and let off some steam =/

Personally I think if you´re a nice person people won´t judge you long term on your acne. Getting a bg/friend will be much more difficult, granted, but most people aren´t that interested in your acne, and I´ve never been able to find any link between breaking out and getting on well with people, except in the long term effects it has on my personality.

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the way acne has changed my behavior is undeniable.

My posture is incredible. I've always had low self-esteem and bad posture, but now it's insane. I often shrug my shoulders up high, trying to

get my head to retreat into my torso as far as possible - like a turtle.

I'll wear scarves in summer and large sunglasses in the winter.

I often make several weird hand gestures that cover my face [-X [-o< =; :-k

I never look people in the eye. I only glance them in the eye from the side.

I look at the ground...a lot. Had some close calls in terms of crashes while walking.

My favorite way to meet people is outside at night and in other dark places.

I turn down countless invitations and spend little to no time socializing. This can be a bitch because I am an outgoing eccentric by nature, and I love performing too.

I tell myself everyday that it will go away. Most people my age have parted with it though. I try to assure myself by thinking of all the places on my face and body were I used to break out that are now clear, hoping that once each patch of skin has paid its dues, it'll disapear. I tell myself all the things I am going to do when it's gone, to make up for lost time. Yes, the cause comes from within, and so does the solution. I've had a wide range of fantasies, including tearing off my face completely and walking around with smooth, white, polished, bone (like ghost rider!) or getting my skin surgically replaced with some non-organic substaance (like micheal jackson, no?). Other times I fantasize about Jesus healing me, even though I'm not a Christian. I often think of the faith and perseverance of humanity when I am troubled by my looks.

I'm currently downing ethrimcyin or whatever it's called and topping it off with retin a. I can't say they've made my skin good, but you could possibly argue that it's prevented it from being worse. I first got pimples around 7th grade, on my nose and cheecks. I used to worry about that. God, how dumb I was. I wish I had that skin now. That was before I discovered cycsts, in the 9th grade. They showed up on my nose every now and then. Then my nose cleared up and has been clear since...but the battle relocated to the far reaches of my cheeks, paralell to the ear and eventually down the neck. I was always specked there, but a year ago when I had a major emotional crisis it got enflamed, and even spread to the flanks of my chin, the underbelly of the neck. Now, my chin is really screwed up for the first time. It's got sore pimples that have no head on them (the deep breed, painful but not cysts.) And my chin is cracking an chapping and turning red. This really sucks. I envy my old friend, who one year looked like freddy krueger, and then ended up looking like a baby the next. I never figured out what his secret was.

I understand that acne is still a freaking mystery to medicine. I mean, if you have a goiter, yoiu take your iodine and it goes away. If you have asthma, you can puff on an inhaler. If you have acne, well, you can choose one of 100 treatments. It's very superstitous with all the rituals, and everyone has a different opinion for what to do (ice first then BP, then ice...no BP, then ice, then BP with ice, then face Mecca...). I've even seen some idiotic lamp that you shine on your face! Reminds me of mideval medicine: (Get a priest to put these leaches on him!) One day acne will be cured though, just like small pox, and it'll disapear like poc marks from peoples faces (George Washinton was a real crater-face due to small pox, but all his paintings have him with nice skin) Also, Abraham Linclon had terrible acne for the nearly entire duration of his life (Again, the painitngs). Now there's a role-model for you. To bad we live in a day and age where Cosmopolitan sells better than the bible.

But do you guys think that BP is better than retin A? Also, if I may give any advice, I would like to say stay away from Oxy and other Sylcllic (or however you say it) acid products. That crap will eat through your flesh. Every time I've tried the acid, it's gotten worse. Just remember, the real cure is inside of you...it's just got to be released by your biological clock or something.

Same here. That kid in elementary school who was in school plays as the lead actor and who was the morning news anchor for the school is long gone. Now what is left is a 24 year old who let acne get the best of him.

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