Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Until not long ago I obsessed over my horrible, disfiguring scars from years of cystic acne. I could not look in the mirror without hating myself.

Then I saw Margaret Cho do her stand-up routine about being overweight in The Notorious Cho.

This is what she said,

"At the age of 10, I became anorexic, and then bulimic, and then I stayed that way for about twenty years, until one day I just said, 'Hey, what if this is it? What if this is just what I look like, and nothing I do changes that? So how much time would I save if I stopped taking that extra second every time I look in the mirror to call myself a big fat f***? How much time would I save if I just let myself walk by a plate-glass window without sucking in my gut and throwing back my shoulders? How much time would I save? And it turns out I save about 92 minutes a week. I can take a pottery class."

So funny! But it really said something me. Then and there I decided I was not going to let my scars rule my life.

I started putting my make-up on without a mirror, then I stopped wearing make-up altogether. I covered every mirror in my home with newspaper. If I walked past a mirror outside I tried my best not to look at my reflection, and if I did I stuck my tongue out or made a goofy face to get me to laugh at myself.

Before long my posture had improved, and I was looking people in the face again. I held my head high. I felt like the real me.

Later when I felt I was ready to wear make-up and look in mirrors again, I found out that looking at myself didn't upset me so much as before. What I had found out is that I don't need to see my reflection to know who I am.

I still hate my scars. I'm even saving up to get laser surgery for them. But the scars have taken on a whole new meaning. Getting rid of them is not something I desperately need anymore. It's just a little something I want.

Yeah I know this sounds incredibly corny, but hey, I'm a corny gal. smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i recognize what you say. I cant walk by a single car, a single window, or a single pool without looking at my reflexion. I every time i hope to see something different but every time i see the same: myself.

i never had anorexia or bulimia (dont know if i spell that right), but i do understand the obsession people have for their looks.

The more i read on this forum the more i think that people with acne have much more experiences in life then the ones without it. No one i know in rael life understands what i mean if i tell the stories i tell here to them. But on this forum almost everyone understands what i mean and has had the same feelings once in their lifes.

I think people with acne are much less superficial then people without it, people who have acne lose that innocence in life, that 'just do whatever you want and you'll see what happens next' lifestyle.

Dont know how to explain this but that is just opinion on the menthal changes when you have acne.

Hope you get rid of those scars soon and learn to live happy with things you have and not be depressed about the things you dont have, good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate looking in the mirror, hate it!! I always try and avoid mirrors. Like when I goto use the toilet, I'll look past the mirror and make sure I don't see my relfection.

I can be happy and alright at one moment, and then I look in the mirror and bam!! I'm depressed and saddend again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Then I saw Margaret Cho do her stand-up routine about being overweight in The Notorious Cho. 

This is what she said, 

\" So how much time would I save if I stopped taking that extra second every time I look in the mirror to call myself a big fat f***? How much time would I save if I just let myself walk by a plate-glass window without sucking in my gut and throwing back my shoulders? How much time would I save? And it turns out I save about 92 minutes a week. I can take a pottery class.\" 

So funny! But it really said something me. Then and there I decided I was not going to let my scars rule my life. 

Before long my posture had improved, and I was looking people in the face again. I held my head high. I felt like the real me. 

Later when I felt I was ready to wear make-up and look in mirrors again, I found out that looking at myself didn't upset me so much as before. What I had found out is that I don't need to see my reflection to know who I am. 

I still hate my scars. I'm even saving up to get laser surgery for them. But the scars have taken on a whole new meaning. Getting rid of them is not something I desperately need anymore. It's just a little something I want.

Yeah I know this sounds incredibly corny, but hey, I'm a corny gal.  smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do you learn to deal with the human mirror? What I mean is the pained look you see on other peoples face when they look at your acne scars. Often when I meet new people I try to smile and exude friendliness. But as soon as I see the grimace, or the look of disapproval, or worse the look of disgust on their face, I might as well be staring in a mirror. There goes the friendliness and confidence replaced with self loathing. I make a horrible first impression and it's all down hill from there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
How do you learn to deal with the human mirror?  What I mean is the pained look you see on other peoples face when they look at your acne scars.  Often when I meet new people I try to smile and exude friendliness.  But as soon as I see the grimace, or the look of disapproval, or worse the look of disgust on their face, I might as well be staring in a mirror.  There goes the friendliness and confidence replaced with self loathing.  I make a horrible first impression and it's all down hill from there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest ObiWontonKenoli

Well...but you looked at me like all the time during our meeting biggrin.gif Good job!! biggrin.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate mirrors. Strange thing is that most of the time I don't think of my acne. When I'm hanging out with other people or talking to girls, it's the last thing on my mind: the first thing being just funny. I love telling jokes and making people laugh. But then whenever I go to the restrooms or walk by a reflecting surface, it's like being smacked by a hundred hammers at once. THAT guy in the mirror is me? Damn.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×