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"the log" accutane log

Let me give you a little bit of history about me before I begin

I've had acne since I was 12.. not bad at first.. just normal stuff. But then 9th grade, it all went to hell. Over about 2 years I've gone from Clearasil to Doxycyline + Retin A to a 10 MONTH laser treatment that cost $5000 (and did nothing)

So for about a year now I haven't even seen my own face. Mirrors, anything, I refuse to look at them. I don't know if anyone knows how it feels to be growing up not even knowing what you look like anymore, but it's the only way I can deal with this hell. I know that if I saw myself now I would be much worse off emotionally. I've already lost one special person because of my 0 self esteem and self confidence, and I'm about to lose a 2nd if I don't act soon. But I just can't until I'm done with accutane. I know I'm a good looking guy, but having dealt with acne for so long, my confidence has been broken, shattered, and ground into pieces over and over again.

Well, with that out of the way, let's begin. And yea I'm starting this log like 96 days late, but oh well. For reference, I was on 40mg/60mg for the first two months, 80mg for the rest of my course, and I weigh 160 lbs.

DAY 96

Forehead is 95% clear, only 1 little tiny insignificant spot. I'm happy here. My left cheek is doing great, too, the only thing is that there are some dry flakey spots that just do not go away, even though all I do is use gentle soap and moisturize 2x a day. Right cheek has 1 medium size spot by the earlobe and 1 small that used to be big healing by my nose and is almost gone, but again, there's a dry spot that will just not go away. My left temple has no spots but .. yes.. a dry spot. Right temple has a medium sized spot thats healing right now. Chin is 100% but a pretty big dry spot there also that came out of nowhere and is healing ever so slowly. Neck is 100% clear.

Chest has like 2 active spots that have been there for a while and are still healing, but every spot I've gotten in months has left a purple/red mark that just sort of chills there forever. My left shoulder has 1 spot but again, purple and red marks galore. Right shoulder is maybe 75% but.. you guessed it.. red and purple. every single pimple I've had has left it's mark. Back is like maybe 50%, the toughest area in my opinion. TONS of purple and red scars, a few cysts, large, medium, and small spots still. I can tell it's helping but it's still pretty bad.

That's it for now, I'll update this tomorrow. 54 days to go.

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