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brendan_192

wanting a gf/relationships etc

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I'd rather feel wanted and loved over having pointless sex.

i want sex lol

so buy it if u want it that bad. i feel sorry for your future gf. are you teh type that dumbs a girl because she sais shes not ready for sex?

Whatever! I'm a girl and would dump a guy who wouldn't want to have sex with me :hand: If you're not on the same page with someone then hey...break up now instead of arguing and suffering together for a long time. Some of us are just more sexual than others, period.

I don't even like girls anymore...they're not that great

I hate girls too :lol:

Anyway, to answer the original post, you always want what you can't have. We're such masochists :lol:

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Evolutionary psychology is my specialty so I'll just explain it using that model. There is alot of theory as to why these strategies are adaptive, but I won't get into that.

Everyone self evaluates themselves and knows how attractive they are. Males who feel they are high on the attractiveness scale (looks, money, fame) are generally VERY picky with who they commit to (think Donald Trump). Sometimes they won't commit to anyone and just have s-x with many willing women. Some very attractive males will be commited to a good looking woman and still have plenty of females on the side.

Men who think of themselves as less attractive (like acne sufferers) will be more willing to commit to a woman- this is a different strategy. THEY subconsciously know that most women want a commitment so they feel if they offer that then they will be able to get her in bed. They use the commitment to make-up for their lack of appeal.

Females are different. Usually they want a commitment, but they are willing to have casual s-x if the male is very attractive in terms of success/looks/etc. Women who have lots of casual s-x usually have low self regard relative to the male. They feel like if they demand commitment the guys won't stick around.

Women who believe they are very attractive make men commit to them and treat them well before having s-x.

im gonna remember that, it seems really on point. and like Ral_Azir said its funny you censored sex. :D

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Evolutionary psychology is my specialty so I'll just explain it using that model. There is alot of theory as to why these strategies are adaptive, but I won't get into that.

Everyone self evaluates themselves and knows how attractive they are. Males who feel they are high on the attractiveness scale (looks, money, fame) are generally VERY picky with who they commit to (think Donald Trump). Sometimes they won't commit to anyone and just have s-x with many willing women. Some very attractive males will be commited to a good looking woman and still have plenty of females on the side.

Men who think of themselves as less attractive (like acne sufferers) will be more willing to commit to a woman- this is a different strategy. THEY subconsciously know that most women want a commitment so they feel if they offer that then they will be able to get her in bed. They use the commitment to make-up for their lack of appeal.

Females are different. Usually they want a commitment, but they are willing to have casual s-x if the male is very attractive in terms of success/looks/etc. Women who have lots of casual s-x usually have low self regard relative to the male. They feel like if they demand commitment the guys won't stick around.

Women who believe they are very attractive make men commit to them and treat them well before having s-x.

dude that is soo true. hit the nail on the head

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Guest tvirus_outbreak

I'm a sad, sad person. I dream of being with people that I could never possibly be with. But for some reason those illusions comfort me.

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There is a deep desire to feel wanted and needed and loved by someone that doesn't HAVE to love you. The fact that they do is astounding. It's confusing and wonderful and scary and comforting.

mm very well said.

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There is a deep desire to feel wanted and needed and loved by someone that doesn't HAVE to love you. The fact that they do is astounding. It's confusing and wonderful and scary and comforting.

If all the good people in the world didn't have to weed through the bad ones...well....I suppose we then wouldn't know how good 'good' really is.

I totally second that. I want to care for someone (other than my family) and feel the same from the partner.

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There is a deep desire to feel wanted and needed and loved by someone that doesn't HAVE to love you. The fact that they do is astounding. It's confusing and wonderful and scary and comforting.

If all the good people in the world didn't have to weed through the bad ones...well....I suppose we then wouldn't know how good 'good' really is.

I totally second that. I want to care for someone (other than my family) and feel the same from the partner.

So do I. Exactly.

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I'm a sad, sad person. I dream of being with people that I could never possibly be with. But for some reason those illusions comfort me.

Yeah, I do that too. It is comforting but I feel it's hurting me in the long run.

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total opposite. girls want to see me and go out and shit. me: hell no. im so insecure its not even funny. i can't wait until i can be myself again.

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Yeah, it seems more prevalant with acne sufferers because they feel almost automatically rejected. Before they even meet anyone. Just by society even, because everywhere you look there's perfection advertised. That's how it is for me. And so they want love and to feel accepted for themselves more than ever.

Yep... the first thing I think whenever I see a girl that'd make a good girlfriend: "You'll never be with her, so why do you bother thinking you might have a chance? Girls want attractive boyfriends, dumbass..." and i'm sure that's what alot of other boys with acne think too...

That's exactly how I am too; just replace the words "girl/her" with "boy/him". It's like your hopes go up a little, and then reality comes crashing in. It's depressing.

i also bet they wish it wasn't so socially unacceptable that girls ask guys out, maybe we'd have a chance then, cause we wouldn't shoot ourselves down so quick, and at least we'd know the girl was interested, whereas if you have to ask there's no telling...

I'm too shy to ask a guy out. And I think it's sort of thought by girls that if a guy doesn't ask you out first, then he's not interested at all. Because if a guy's interested, he'll ask you. Who knows.

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In the end nobody wants to ask the other person out coz both of them think that:

1, the other person is supposed to

2, the other person is not interested if he/she didn't

And on top of that, they are both shy.

funny

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Hey,

This is my first post. And I think I couldn't have found a better thread to start =DD

Well, let's see...

I'm 15, and I have tons of friend wanting girls for sex. I just find this plain wrong. Maybe it's me, but who knows...For me, it's much more important having someone to hug you, someone to kiss, someone who can be radiant to be with you, to touch you, to feel you... The feeling of being loved is something I haven't felt in a long time, and am still waiting for. Apparently, even though my closest female friends say they can't understand why I have problems with girls, since they say I'm pretty, hot and very funny, i don't think the same way. For me, even though they find me attractive, that's not what matters, unfortunantly. Even if I am as they say, what's the point of that if I don't feel that way? If the girls I want don't feel that way aswell?

I'm not saying I don't like a compliment, it's pretty obvious I do, aswell as everyone else. But I want to be able to look in the mirror and say "wow, you're hot.". And why do I want this so much? Because if I don't feel confident with myself, i can't act as myself around girls I find attractive! And that's the hole bottom line: Confidence.

Of course, the fact that I'm always attracted to girls that are in a level above me, difficults this even more. Still, I'm willing to change this.

I'm aware that I am an interesting person. After all, there is something I'm aware of: I'm inteligent, interesting, humor loving and have a superb musical taste.

So I'm going to a gym to work out, I'm gonna let some girls make my wardrobe and hair, and I'm gonna fight acne even more.

Anyway, I'm getting offtopic.

Love is much more interesting than sex. Sex is great, aslong as it is a consumation of love. Personally, I'm not fond of pleasure sex. But maybe that's because I'm young.

Ah, another thing. There's this girl at school =P ....You feel exactly as I feel. Not able to try because you find yourself too unnatractive. Still, she says Hi to me at school everyday, so who knows...Maybe I can have something going on. Of course, soon enough I will realise this is just my imagination working, and that she's totally not into me.

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i've always been self conscious about it. with my boyfriends, i'd always wear make up. i dont think any of my boyfriends have ever seen me without make up on. swimming or excercising are not past times i share with them either cuz that usually requires being makeup free.

i also dont like people touching or kissing my face. sometimes, it even gets in the way of intimacy, but none of them have ever commented on it. obviously, if i have a large zit on my face they see it, or some texture of scarring beneath my makeup, but they dont know the little red scar marks that appear cuz of scars, so they dont know how bad it really is. plus it looks smoother and more evenly textured with makeup.

so yah, it definetly gets in the way of intimacy.

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