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plateaukid

Do You Feel Comfortable Around Certain Types of People?

I'm super conscious of my acne and scars like many here, but I find that sometimes I put that aside when I'm talking to certain people. It's like I make assumptions on how they will react when they look at me and use that as a basis to decide on how to interact with them. If I feel like they won't really care how I'd look like and are going to be nice, I act the same way. But if I feel that they would point out some of my flaws, I do everything I can to avoid that person. If I have to interact with that person, I will try to do it without looking at the person directly in the eye. And I'm uncomfortable in a crowd of people regardless of who are there and the situation. It makes me feel claustorphobic because I feel everyone is surrounding me to look at my face.

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Sad ain't it? I feel like shit...I even had to go to the extent of hoping I don't have to meet anyone I knew who will strike a conversation with me.

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I have the same problem. Short of taking social anxiety disorder medicine or getting extensive counseling, does anyone know how to get over this. I wish I could maintain some degree of self confidence regardless of who I am with, but I can't. I start thinking about how ugly I am, then I start thinking that other people will look at my scars and think I am disgusting, and then I don't want to look at people or talk to them.

I don't know why my parents didn't anticipate this problem when I was yonger and at home dealing with cystic acne. They should have helped me to build my self confidence and self esteem. I,m not sure if the problem can be fixed after all these years.

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NotMyFault: I worry too that the problem has gone on for too long. In fact, I wonder if will ever change. It's easier said than done. It feels like normal social interactions for most people are a complete challenge for me. I don't know, or at least I forgot how to make friends. I have seen a counselor, but I guess it hasn't really helped much. I will need more than counseling to get through this. It has unfortunately already made me miss opportunities in life, and I fear it will screw me up even more as I finish up college and permanently move out of my parent's place and settle down on my own.

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yup I also feel like ive developed a social anxiety disorder to a certain degree. i used to be more outgoing and loved being around my friends but now i just hide in the house a lot. i feel alone and isolated but i think if i can just reduce my scars ill be ok. i also have a huge fear of running into people that knew me when i was younger and had nice skin (im 21 now). oh well. i try to console myself and think that having to deal with the disease is making me a stronger person but i feel a little piece of myself die every time someone makes a rude comment or stares at me.

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I feel inferior where ever i go... Is there any way to over come this disorder? Will going to a pychiatrist help?

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I have to say, going to a psychiatrist didn't seem to help me as all he could say was to "treat myself better." I was left to figure out why I was unable to control my obsessive/compulsive "picking" at my face, replace it with other, more beneficial actions, and find this board so that I no longer felt so alone in my pain. At least my insurance paid for the damn sessions, but I think that was about $600 that could have been better spent elsewhere........

I think until anyone with a skin problem begins to see improvement they will continue to experience social anxiety because people can be so harsh, both in word and gesture. And who wants to place themselves out there when they know they are gonna see or hear something that is going to damage an already fragile self-image?

I'm sorry about the negativity in this post, but I'm not feeling too up for going out into the world right now myself........

~nancy

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I'm super conscious of my acne and scars like many here, but I find that sometimes I put that aside when I'm talking to certain people.  It's like I make assumptions on how they will react when they look at me and use that as a basis to decide on how to interact with them.  If I feel like they won't really care how I'd look like and are going to be nice, I act the same way.  But if I feel that they would point out some of my flaws, I do everything I can to avoid that person.  If I have to interact with that person, I will try to do it without looking at the person directly in the eye.  And I'm uncomfortable in a crowd of people regardless of who are there and the situation.  It makes me feel claustorphobic because I feel everyone is surrounding me to look at my face.

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yup I also feel like ive developed a social anxiety disorder to a certain degree. i used to be more outgoing and loved being around my friends but now i just hide in the house a lot. i feel alone and isolated but i think if i can just reduce my scars ill be ok. i also have a huge fear of running into people that knew me when i was younger and had nice skin (im 21 now). oh well. i try to console myself and think that having to deal with the disease is making me a stronger person but i feel a little piece of myself die every time someone makes a rude comment or stares at me.

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Yeah Same here. I had way more self-confidence than I do with acne. It effects my mood. If I'm having an ok skin day then I'm alot more talkative and outgoing and on days when I have acne I actually try to avoid people. I hate trying to change my lifestyle. I used to love swimming, now there's no way, I would love meeting new people now I'm fairly anti-social (I won't do sleepovers anymore where as before I was out every weekend.) I went from having perfect skin (about four and a half months ago) to this!! I sometimes even angle my face to the "better" side. I used to never wear coverup, now it's the first thing I do in the morning! Don't worry plateaukid everbody feels this way.

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All i can say is learn to love yourself. As hard or stupid as this may seem it really is the key to life. I believe that all of us are here on this earth to learn lessons such as love. The main reason is that you will never be able to truly love anybody else until you learn to love yourself. You might be saying " well nobody wants me to love them anyway because i am ugly". There is truth to this because nobody will want you to love them if you are giving off these vibes of self pity. People can really pick up on that stuff. When they see a guy with acne and he is full of love and happiness they think "Wow, what a great guy" no matter what you look like. If they dont then fuck em. You are proving not only to the world but to yourself that you can overcome the cosmetic material hurdles that have been laid upon you.

I believe that everything happens in life for a reason. I also believe that (consciously or subconsciously) we have chosen to be in the bodies we are in for no other reason than to learn a lesson. Pass the test and learn to love and be optomistic, and determined, and passionate, and posotive no matter what obstacles lie in your way.

The reason you lack friends, lovers, and mentors is because you feel like you deserve less. These are all self induced problems. Think of how much greater you would be than the pretty, clear skinned individual if you accomplished even more than them? Outshined them in life? Truly a strong, worthy individual. Only you have the chance to become that person. The beautiful people could accomplish the same things but than there will be those who say " oh, they just got lucky because they are good looking". Those people do not have the same opportunities that you do.

I look in the mirror and see a skinny, zitty, white guy. I look into my eyes and see who i truly am; a loving, caring, talented, funny person.

I assume that other people can see that too, and guess what? they do!

I have many friends, am confident w/ girls, am successful at work and enjoy life. Look into the mirror and peer into your eyes and tel me that there is not something special inside of you! Something that has been there ever since you were born. Something that you can not describe.

That something is testing you right now. Come out and be who you are and love yourself and demand love from the world. Life will change when you allow it. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

You might be saying " this guy probably doesnt even have acne" but trust me i do. Pretty damn bad too. I have been suicidal and not loved my self and wanted to hide from the world just like you. I now have come back into touch with the person I was and that I always will be.

I love you all, good luck

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i feel more self consious if i am around someone with completely clear skin because i feel like they will notice it more when i know that it is the opposite, because i have acne and i notice every little detail about someones skin when i look at them.. i guess it's because i judge myself so harshy and look at every little detail on my face and i end up doing it to other people. i feel more self confident when i'm around people who have a few zits because i feel better about myself when i look at them and know they are going through the same thing i am.. i dunno, i guess everyone is like that in the sense that they are more comfortable in general around different kinds of people. i guess it is all about how intimidating the other people are to you.

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i know its kinda late for the reply but thanks guys.....just reading the posts has made me feel better. now i know that others are going through the same thing i am. i used to be outgoing and all talking to everyone making new friends. but ever since i started getting acne ive begun to stick to myself....afraid of what people might say. haveing the constant fear that people are staring at u. making mean comments etc. i know that most people have the respect to ignore it but theres always those select few you meet and they point it out or say something and it really hurts ur self confidence. thanks though smile.gif

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My friends that I go hiking and camping with usually through lots of insults at each other, so when they talk about my acne scarred face, it doesn't bug me at all.

When my mom and my sister tell me that I'm ugly though, I feel sad.

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New here, but yeah, I feel differant around some people.

I've noticed that I can't or just won't look people in the eye when I'm talking to them. I'll always be looking either down at my feet or away in another direction.

I know it's not good, because they might get the impression that I'm not paying attention or I just don't care, but really I just don't want them looking at IT rather then at me.

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