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I don't see any reason to attack his method of presenting jokes. So what if they aren't a straight joke with a punchline? Maybe he feels that these are better then the common jokes that are floating around. If he's expressing his jokes in a different way don't hold it against him, that's why people are afraid to be different, because they are ridiculed.

On a simpler note this is a freaking joke topic on acne.org, no need to quarrel about something simple like this

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Here are some more funny jokes! :lol:

1) Say you know someone like parents or relatives have a big important meeting/interview to go to tomorrow and they fall asleep. Say the interview is at 7:00 am. They fall asleep and you are still awake throughout the night. Wouldn't it be funny if the time said 5:00 am but you moved the clock ahead 2 hours so it showed 7:00 am. Then you make some noise and they wake up and start running around trying to hurry. Then when they hit the door, you say, "Fooled you! It's only 5:00 am!" Wouldn't that be funny? HAHA.

2) Say you are at a Chinese restaurant. This is to set you up with your friend. So you and the waiter are in on this. You order the food (Chinese food) and so does your friend. Wouldn't it be funny if the waiter brings out a big pizza? The thing is that you don't look surprised but you just say "Thanks" and start eating it. Imagine the look on your friend's face. Wouldn't that be funny? HAHA.

Case closed.

:ninja:

You just keep digging that hole deeper. quit while you can still get out.

Case closed.

:ninja:

My jokes are original. They also aren't lame like most jokes are and require some mental capacity to understand them fully. I often like to compare people that like the show Friends vs. the show Seinfeld. They are both comedy sitcoms but the comedy is very different in both. I hate Friends and think the comedy is put out too hard and the actors/actresses try to be funny by saying unoriginal jokes or comments. Seinfeld is a show where everything is deeper in meaning and usually people that like Friends don't like Seinfeld. You probably can't imagine the jokes I am saying whereas people that can (like on the previous pages) thought they were really funny. Plus, it is hard to get some of my jokes if they aren't done in person. People always laugh for awhile after I tell a joke in person, so I know what is funny. Case closed.

:ninja:

What he's talking about are PRACTICAL jokes. Which is a joke. :)

Once I subsituted salt for the sugar in my father's coffee. It also happened to be his first cup of coffee for the morning.

I never pulled that again.

See Elsewhere thought they were hilarious. :D Case closed.

:ninja:

Your "jokes" if you can call them that are very original, I can imagine briefly seeing them on a bad Tv show... before i change channel. Saying that most jokes are lame and require little or no mental capacity makes me think you have a bad sense of homour and generally dont understand most jokes which worries me quite alot. Also these "jokes" you produce dont really require much mental capacity to understand, they are just very bad.

"You probably can't imagine the jokes I am saying" 100% wrong. I fully understand them in all their glory (not that much to be frank) and I still say they suck, hard. "whereas people that can (like on the previous pages) thought they were really funny" take a look again, the forum is littered with people saying your jokes are utter balls. stretch your brain as far as you can and you'll notice most people laugh at you, not with.

"Plus, it is hard to get some of my jokes if they aren't done in person" You continue to fool yourself, everybody understands your "jokes" if they say "i dont get it" it's because they're trying to be polite and dont want to say you arnt funny while you laugh your ass off. I't may be hard for your little overworked brain to understand them while you laugh at dogs peeing against trees, but everybody with an IQ above 12 understand them perfectly.

"People always laugh for awhile after I tell a joke in person, so I know what is funny" Stage presence may contribute alot to this, but i think it's more likely they're being polite or laughing at your stupidity.

"I hope Necromancer wasn't serious. Were those supposed to be jokes?!

"some of you guys really dont know what a joke is lol, *looks in necromancers direction*"

"good I'm not the only one"

"See Elsewhere thought they were hilarious"

She didnt say that, she was pointing out to somebody that they were practical jokes, not saying they were in any way funny, but that they were technically still jokes.

I've been told funnier jokes by people who are less than half your age and can barely read, as for your taste in TV try tuning into the King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, Two and a half men and the Chappelle Show some time.

btw, the "Case closed." thing you do is stupid.

Case closed.

:ninja:

How about you man up and tell a joke yourself. I put myself out on the line everyday regardless of what people think. You obviously don't know how funny these jokes are. I don't care if you think the way I talk is stupid either. I'm the one that is a Nuclear Engineer. Case closed.

:ninja:

I don't see any reason to attack his method of presenting jokes. So what if they aren't a straight joke with a punchline? Maybe he feels that these are better then the common jokes that are floating around. If he's expressing his jokes in a different way don't hold it against him, that's why people are afraid to be different, because they are ridiculed.

On a simpler note this is a freaking joke topic on acne.org, no need to quarrel about something simple like this

Thanks for the support. I am not afraid and I will continue to produce the funniest jokes on this site. Case closed.

:ninja:

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Here are some more funny jokes! :lol:

1) Say you know someone like parents or relatives have a big important meeting/interview to go to tomorrow and they fall asleep. Say the interview is at 7:00 am. They fall asleep and you are still awake throughout the night. Wouldn't it be funny if the time said 5:00 am but you moved the clock ahead 2 hours so it showed 7:00 am. Then you make some noise and they wake up and start running around trying to hurry. Then when they hit the door, you say, "Fooled you! It's only 5:00 am!" Wouldn't that be funny? HAHA.

2) Say you are at a Chinese restaurant. This is to set you up with your friend. So you and the waiter are in on this. You order the food (Chinese food) and so does your friend. Wouldn't it be funny if the waiter brings out a big pizza? The thing is that you don't look surprised but you just say "Thanks" and start eating it. Imagine the look on your friend's face. Wouldn't that be funny? HAHA.

Case closed.

:ninja:

You just keep digging that hole deeper. quit while you can still get out.

Case closed.

:ninja:

My jokes are original. They also aren't lame like most jokes are and require some mental capacity to understand them fully. I often like to compare people that like the show Friends vs. the show Seinfeld. They are both comedy sitcoms but the comedy is very different in both. I hate Friends and think the comedy is put out too hard and the actors/actresses try to be funny by saying unoriginal jokes or comments. Seinfeld is a show where everything is deeper in meaning and usually people that like Friends don't like Seinfeld. You probably can't imagine the jokes I am saying whereas people that can (like on the previous pages) thought they were really funny. Plus, it is hard to get some of my jokes if they aren't done in person. People always laugh for awhile after I tell a joke in person, so I know what is funny. Case closed.

:ninja:

What he's talking about are PRACTICAL jokes. Which is a joke. :)

Once I subsituted salt for the sugar in my father's coffee. It also happened to be his first cup of coffee for the morning.

I never pulled that again.

See Elsewhere thought they were hilarious. :D Case closed.

:ninja:

Your "jokes" if you can call them that are very original, I can imagine briefly seeing them on a bad Tv show... before i change channel. Saying that most jokes are lame and require little or no mental capacity makes me think you have a bad sense of homour and generally dont understand most jokes which worries me quite alot. Also these "jokes" you produce dont really require much mental capacity to understand, they are just very bad.

"You probably can't imagine the jokes I am saying" 100% wrong. I fully understand them in all their glory (not that much to be frank) and I still say they suck, hard. "whereas people that can (like on the previous pages) thought they were really funny" take a look again, the forum is littered with people saying your jokes are utter balls. stretch your brain as far as you can and you'll notice most people laugh at you, not with.

"Plus, it is hard to get some of my jokes if they aren't done in person" You continue to fool yourself, everybody understands your "jokes" if they say "i dont get it" it's because they're trying to be polite and dont want to say you arnt funny while you laugh your ass off. I't may be hard for your little overworked brain to understand them while you laugh at dogs peeing against trees, but everybody with an IQ above 12 understand them perfectly.

"People always laugh for awhile after I tell a joke in person, so I know what is funny" Stage presence may contribute alot to this, but i think it's more likely they're being polite or laughing at your stupidity.

"I hope Necromancer wasn't serious. Were those supposed to be jokes?!

"some of you guys really dont know what a joke is lol, *looks in necromancers direction*"

"good I'm not the only one"

"See Elsewhere thought they were hilarious"

She didnt say that, she was pointing out to somebody that they were practical jokes, not saying they were in any way funny, but that they were technically still jokes.

I've been told funnier jokes by people who are less than half your age and can barely read, as for your taste in TV try tuning into the King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, Two and a half men and the Chappelle Show some time.

btw, the "Case closed." thing you do is stupid.

Case closed.

:ninja:

How about you man up and tell a joke yourself. I put myself out on the line everyday regardless of what people think. You obviously don't know how funny these jokes are. I don't care if you think the way I talk is stupid either. I'm the one that is a Nuclear Engineer. Case closed.

:ninja:

I don't see any reason to attack his method of presenting jokes. So what if they aren't a straight joke with a punchline? Maybe he feels that these are better then the common jokes that are floating around. If he's expressing his jokes in a different way don't hold it against him, that's why people are afraid to be different, because they are ridiculed.

On a simpler note this is a freaking joke topic on acne.org, no need to quarrel about something simple like this

Thanks for the support. I am not afraid and I will continue to produce the funniest jokes on this site. Case closed.

:ninja:

"How about you man up and tell a joke yourself" I've put up 3 on the forum already, on the 3rd post i was told "A wooly jumper! That's fucking awesome! I am laughing over here, thank you!".

"You obviously don't know how funny these jokes are" I do know, thats why I'm telling you they're crap.

"I don't care if you think the way I talk is stupid either" I havn't said this or heard you talk, but it furthers my point that you struggle to read words longer than one syllable.

"I'm the one that is a Nuclear Engineer" I find this so hard to believe. Case closed.

:ninja:

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If it satisfies people, try to think of Necromancer's contributions as 'pranks' rather than 'jokes.'

I started this thread so we could share some good jokes, have a chuckle, and forget about our problems for a second. My intention was to lighten the mood, not darken it. So stop it.

Now, back to business...

If you read my riddle, the answer is the letter m. headturner4 guessed it right.

Here's more riddles:

If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

George, Helen, and Steve are drinking coffee. Bert, Karen, and Dave are drinking soda. Using logic, is Elizabeth drinking coffee or soda?

Another joke:

What do pirates use to keep their parrots on their shoulder?

Super Pollygrip!

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Here's more riddles:

If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

George, Helen, and Steve are drinking coffee. Bert, Karen, and Dave are drinking soda. Using logic, is Elizabeth drinking coffee or soda?

1. 2nd place.

2. Coffee.

NEXT! :D

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i soooo dont get that! am i really slow? why is elizabeth drinking soda? i need to know the answer! :think:

edit: oooh! wait! is she drinking coffee? coz she has two E's in her name like the other coffee drinkers? or am i making that up? loool

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headturner4, you are exactly right! The coffEE drinkers all have two E's in their names.

rob-, try this one on for size:

What row of numbers comes next?

1

11

21

1211

111221

312211

13112221

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Here is a joke that is really funny that I thought about today:

You are outside and you know how it is getting to be cold, especially in the northern states. You go out wearing shorts and a tee shirt and flip flops (which is what I did yesterday). It is like 30 F. Someone says to you, "Hey aren't you cold?" Then you go, "No, I'm used to it, I'm from Florida". Isn't that funny? I was laughing the whole time while I was outside in my shorts, tee shirt, and flip flops. :lol::lol::lol:

Case closed.

:ninja:

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Necro has a "what if" sense of humor... i used to play it on the way to school. I wouldn't class it as a joke though... It's kind of a joke you tell your friends when your having a laugh.

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Necro has a "what if" sense of humor... i used to play it on the way to school. I wouldn't class it as a joke though... It's kind of a joke you tell your friends when your having a laugh.

So does that make my jokes bad or good? :think: Did you laugh at mine?

Case closed.

:ninja:

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Necro has a "what if" sense of humor... i used to play it on the way to school. I wouldn't class it as a joke though... It's kind of a joke you tell your friends when your having a laugh.

So does that make my jokes bad or good? :think: Did you laugh at mine?

Case closed.

:ninja:

Your different, you have your own style like myself. If people got your jokes they'd laugh.

Yeah, i laughed. Different style jokes make me laugh because you dont see them everyday. Im also a fan of slap stick humor myself which i think is what your getting at!

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Necro has a "what if" sense of humor... i used to play it on the way to school. I wouldn't class it as a joke though... It's kind of a joke you tell your friends when your having a laugh.

So does that make my jokes bad or good? :think: Did you laugh at mine?

Case closed.

:ninja:

Your different, you have your own style like myself. If people got your jokes they'd laugh.

Yeah, i laughed. Different style jokes make me laugh because you dont see them everyday. Im also a fan of slap stick humor myself which i think is what your getting at!

Thanks. :D At least someone understand them. Especially my latest one up there ^^^^. I could see how a lot of people wouldn't understand the "punchline" in that joke. So I will explain it. The funny thing isn't that he said he was fine because he was from Florida and they wear shorts there usually. The funny thing is that you would expect the person to say he was from a much colder place like Canada or something. Then on top of that is the 'wtf' expression on the guy's face that asked the person if they were cold to begin with. :lol: :lol: :lol: I usually don't need to explain my jokes because in person, they make a lot more sense and I tell them in a funny way that makes everyone laugh. But, I have recently got comments that my jokes make no sense or are stupid or that I'm stupid myself :) . Case closed.

:ninja:

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rob-, try this one on for size:

What row of numbers comes next?

1

11

21

1211

111221

312211

13112221

1113213211. I'll explain for those who doubt me or cant figure it out.

Instead of reading each line as one long number try to look at the numbers in pairs. This way each line should be 'spelling' out what the previous line has said, eg.

1 The base line, has no meaning as it is only 1 number.

11 This is where the patern emerges. It should be read as saying "The line above has one 1"

21 The line above has two 1's

1211 The line above has one 2 and one 1.

goodie gumdrops :D

NEXT!

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At first I thought Necro's "jokes" were kinda stupid, but after a while I started laughing, especially at the red light and alarm clock one :lol: I think I'm very delerious.

Tell more :shifty:

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At first I thought Necro's "jokes" were kinda stupid, but after a while I started laughing, especially at the red light and alarm clock one :lol: I think I'm very delerious.

Tell more :shifty:

Ok!

This one I thought of today when I was in a meeting and thinking in my head what everyone's name was in the meeting. I mean I work with these people but it is starting to get ridiculous trying to remember everyone's name. So while the discussion was going I thought this would be funny. What if I had to introduce all these people to a friend. So I go down the line and name them all, some with hesitation, and other's immediately because they are easier to remember. Then I get to my name. I think for a second and I skip myself. Then finish the rest of the people. Then I finally say my name last like, "Oh yeah my name is Necromancer". This would be freaking hilarious. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: . Here's why:

1) Why would I introduce myself to my friend that knows me already?

2) Why would I forget my name?

3) WTF is everyone going to think now that I can't even remember my name?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I often joke like this in real life. That is why everyone likes me! :D

Case closed.

:ninja:

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Best joke yet!

WoooooHoooo! I'm so honored! :angel:

:rolleyes:

Okay Necro, that one was not that great... :doh:

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Okay Necro, that one was not that great... :doh:

I was thinking the same thing, just a bit more... colourful.

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Best joke yet!

WoooooHoooo! I'm so honored! :angel:

:rolleyes:

Okay Necro, that one was not that great... :doh:

You guys gotta hear me say it in person and live. I could be a great stand up comedian :) . Case closed.

:ninja:

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I could be a great stand up comedian :) . Case closed.

:ninja:

That was the funniest one yet.

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I could be a great stand up comedian :) . Case closed.

:ninja:

That was the funniest one yet.

haha yea, in a sarcastic way. haha I'm just teasing. :dance:

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~marcin and rob-, you are right! :clap: Thanks for explaining it, rob-, Now I don't have to! :cool:

Necromancer, why don't you tape yourself telling these jokes in your hilariously animated way, and put it on YouTube so we all can see what you've been trying to say about your delivery?

Take away the whole and some still remains. What is it?

If it has a quart capacity, how many pennies can you put into a empty piggy bank?

What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters?

I'm not trying to offend anyone with this one. I just thought it was funny.

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence." The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

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