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Time4HighSelfEsteem

Self Esteem's Post Accutane Log 40mg-A singer in LA's story

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jamiely, what is keflex?

yes, i made an appt with planned parenthood, i hope they will give me a weekly. i got tired of having to get a referal to my gyno. it is so annoying having an hmo program. how cool! i hope i can have kids one day.

b/f is laying off me about my stuff finally. i told him i need him to love me for me and he says he does and he will stop hassling me! i think it was done to him and so he does it to me subconsciously.

day 30

last day of month wow!

i am on 40mg still.

very fevery feeling and tired.

low immune system lots of yeast!

my b/f skin got dried out from my yeast and now it is all chaffed. i feel so bad. i wish my body would stop doing this yeast thing. i have to go to gyno tuesday and i am gonna ask about diflucan for 6 months worth once a week. i hope they give it to me. i hope they do a culture to see exactly what strain i have as it may be resistant. it is really tripping me out. i am all worried it is something more serious. i went just 2 weeks ago and she said it was yeast, but all she did was look. no culture. now the discharge is kind of different. more clear, but there is still burning. gosh the hypochondriac side is emerging AGAIN. i havent been sleeping enough. going out late and working during the day. not so good. face looks ok. small pustules and 2 cysts under the skin that you can't see. nose is peeling bigtime. oil is gone. hair is doing ok if i leave conditioner in. joints feel ok today. i just feel a little feverish. this stubborn area on my upper left cheek always has 3 or 4 pustules on it that don't seem to go away.

not so high energy today..sorry for such a complaining post, but that is what these boards are for sometimes...to release. i am soooo tired. i miss having a body free of drugs and hormones. it is so weird. i hope the next four months flies by. kinda down today, Abby

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Congratulations on making it this far. :cool: I really hope you feel better soon.

BTW, are you a singer? lol I see your thread title says so. I sing as well. :cool:

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redsox- an IUD is a little copper or metal thing they insert into the uterus. It blocks eggs I guess. It stays in for years, is no hormones. But someone told me it also causes infections, so I am not sure what to do. I want to just go back to diaphragm, which is hormone free and not some foreign object. B/f is resisting that though because you have to use spermicide and it irritates him, but ugh, he may have to deal. look at what i have been dealing with! I am sorry you are struggling with your skin. I am struggling with very low energy and a sickly feeling. I know don't have the flu, my body is just exhausted from taking accutane. I pray that this is all worth it for us and our acne goes in remission 4ever. please please please.

walk the wire-u are so sweet! i read a post of yours the other and so happy to hear your skin is clear. yes, i am a singer professional one to. in fact today, i got a gig on a tv show to be a piano player and singer. it is like background character, but none the less fun. what do you sing? i sing r and b, jazz, and soulful rock (like lenny kravitz kinda or gnarles barkley).

xoxo-You know it is freakin me out. I read something called RVVC is recurring vaginal candidiases or something and then there are 4 different kinds. It is needed 6 month antifungal treatment which consists of weekly antifungal pill. The thing is the fungus can morph itself so sometimes different antifungals have to be switched. It all sounds complicated. I need a doctor that knows what they are doing, because this causes extreme fatigue, screws up my relationship kind of, and is physically uncomfortable. Also xoxo, certain foods set it off: flour, rice, dairy, sugar, sweet fruits. Basically if i just eat salad, beans, almonds and fish I am fine, but that's no fun! So, i still been eating bread sometimes and some sugar (like I had pancakes the other day...boy did i flare up.) it makes me sad. I took 9 months with a naturopath to clear this. i rid myself with this diet and

colonics, but as soon as I started accutane and the pill it all came back. why is it always one exchange for something else? Can't I just have clear skin AND a healthy body?

Month 2 Day 1

small pustules in stubborn area are shrinking. 2 cysts almost gone. still not visible. some brown marks. very very very tired sickly feeling. losing appetite. i only been eating like this: avocado sandwich, trail mix bar, 2 raw vegan pieces of falafel. i feel nauseous when i eat, but have no energy because i am not eating enough. darn bc. i don't like bc at all. i wish this birth defect thing was not an issue or i would go back to my natural bc: watching my ovulation cycle. that has worked for me for years.

very dry lips peeling off daily.

HUNGRY!

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Keflex is an antibiotic. I am allergic to Minocin and that ruled out a lot of other drugs used for acne that are within the same family of antibiotics. I also tried a coupld others before Keflex. It works ok, when I take it twice a day, but you can only do that for so long. I hate being on the antibiotic because of the yeast. Now I take it once a day and get the diflucan. I am not sure how much longer they will keep me on it now that I have the accutane. Hopefully not too long, I feel like I am on too many drugs. I also have allergies and take medication regulary for that. My skin gets inflamed they say it is urticaria, which is pretty much inflamed skin or hives that happen with no known cause. Hang in there, I am sure the doctor will help you out. I am not sure if you will get a six month script, they may just make you keep coming back to be checked out. Mine is refilled monthly when I go to the derm. May be your dermotoligist would give it to you if he thought it was the accutane or birth control causing it? Sorry to hear you are feeling tired, but good to hear you and your b/f talked about the stuff that was bothering you. Good luck with your appointment.

Jamielynn

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Hey there,

You seem to be doing pretty well so far...congrats on making it so far. I've been reading your posts and it's giving me a good idea of what to expect (I'm on Day 16), so thank you for letting us share your experience. I hope everything continues to go well, and I'll keep checking in on you.

Oh I also noticed that you're using Clean and Clear blackhead scrub. How is that working for you these days? I used to use it before Accutane and it was SO good for the blackhead problem, but I ran out and thought it'd be too harsh to use with Accutane anyway, so I didn't buy more...are you finding it okay to use still?

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Oh my gosh! I hope you have a great time. I sing R&B/Soul/Pop/Contemporary. I haven't quite found my style yet, though. I also write and play the keyboard. It's really cool that we have something in common, besides flawed skin. :D

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day 2 month 2

skin is the same

small pustules,

areas peeling

old cysts almost gone

dry lips

low energy

sleeping kind of bad, but it was related to some other stuff

b/f said he will help me post pics

ok, now i need to vent about my personal life. if you don't feel like reading stop now as this has nothing to do with acne. i just need a place to release as it all feel so heavy to me.

The girl that lied about her pregnancy just showed up yesterday morning. B/f and I were about to go to some spiritual healing workshop to try to heal our trust and receive a blessing on our relationship...and she pulls up in her car. We were like: oh my gosh, u gotta be kdding me. She didn't know he and I were still together as he was keeping that from her so she didn't try to use the baby thing to control the situation. When she thought I was still in the picture, she was holding the baby thing over his head. once she thought I wasn't, she decided she would spontaneously have a miscarriage. Anyway, he went outside and told her I was there and that we were back together. She proceeded to park her car outside and wait for us to leave so she could get a look at me. Can you say stalker?

The rest of the day at the workshop it was pretty cool. But the rest of the night, I was still shaken up. I never seem to be able to believe anything he says. I don't know how I am going to trust him ever again, although i really want to. I sent him a text last night for the first time saying I love you. We've said we were falling in love, but never said I love you actually yet. however, all his friends tell me he loves me. So, i thought, ok I am gonna tell him. .....he didn't respond back! Then i sent another message asking if that freaked him out. He still didn't respond! Then I sent one more that said, I guess it freaked you out. It's ok, take your time. YOu don't have to feel the same yet. ...No response. Now granted, he was at work, but when I sent a message also that said I am going to bed, he responded goodnight, so he got my messages. Well, I call him after work in the wee hours of the morning and ask him why. why he didn't respond to any of the messages. He said, he didn't remember which messages I was talking about. I said, how could you forget the I love you message. He said, he was distracted on the phone with that girl trying to calm her and get her to stop just showing up at his house. Then he had to work. The other messages he said he just glanced at fast and he didn't realize what they said as he was in the middle of playing a show (he is also a musician). Well, I just couldn't believe anything he was saying. This morning I called him again and he swears he is telling me the truth. I guess I believe him now. It just sucks because I don't know how I am ever gonna be able to believe thigns he says. i wish i could just let it go. The girl he cheated on me with was a mistake and it was just sex. he doesn't love her. people make mistakes. why am i still holding on to his mistake? Love hurts man...I gotta go get some breakfast.

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Hey abby i am so sorry that girl sounds like such a psycho. But I hear ya, it's hard to leave ur bf if ur in love with them. If my bf ever cheated on me, as much as I hate to say this, I would probably take him back. As far as the "i love you" thing goes, I don't really know what to say. How long have u been dating? My BF and i started dating 1 year ago, last october, and we didn't start saying I love you until May or June of this year. That's the longest I've ever waited to say that, but I meant it the most out of anyone else I ever said it to. It's ultimately up to you, but I would probably drop the l-o-v-e subject until he brings it up. That's the only way I've ever gotten anything out of my stubborn boyfriend. I completely drop the subject of whatever it is that I may want, then he comes around within a few weeks. :wub:

Glad to see ur face isn't giving u too much hassle. Mine's still being a jerk!

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month 2 day 3

little pustules turned to very small cysts. about 3 on one side and 2 on the other. blackheads almost all gone. dry lips. energy is back. i find when i don't eat protein, i get wrecked on accutane. it is hard because i am predominantly veggie. i looked in the car mirror for the first time without wanting to puke. skin is looking ok even with tiny cysts. skin is super sensitive. easily broken if i try to mess with anything, so i am breaking the habit of picking finally. smoother. dryness on arms, need to use lotion, where i never used to...

i am losing weight from the pill. it makes me nauseous so i am hardly eating.

yeast is gone..but going to doc tomorrow. i want to be on a weekly pill for a few weeks.

personal update

b/f said he loves me and he wanted to do it in person. yay! thinking about working with this new producer. need to get more on my music career. been so obsessed with skin! tv show went well. it was very short shoot with lots of repetition. feeling a lot better today in all ways. been chanting this new mantra i got from that healing b/f and i did. it has been lifting the emotional heaviness. peace.

redsox-thanks for the wise words. you are the best :)

gotta work! cya later beautiful people.

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your bf is very lucky! you are super cute, and you have an awesome personality. thanks for the comments on my log, and best of luck to you!

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thanks royksopp...good band btw...haha.

Month 2

Day 4

4 small little cysts getting smaller, but still there. they have kind of been with me from the start...i hope they go away one day.

Bleeding when I have bowel movements. I can feel that it is just so dry that the outside area is being rubbed and bleeding. I am not to concerned. it is a small amount.

dry lips

that's it! not much more to report today. i am going out of town to visit my mom thursday, so may be less on here.

life is pretty good today. i have energy, feel happy, centered. no more drama, just joy. I am really starting to see a difference. The texture of my skin is starting to look clear and fuzzy. Fuzzy little peach fuzz hair. Not male hair haha. I am still dry on all area. My arms especially. how are all my tane friends doing? Miss you guys :0 i know my posts have been heavy and long for the past week, but I think I am finally over the hump. Making sure I eat enough protein and drinking water is the key to not feeling sickly. Also, I changed this month to Claravis. I swear it seems to be working a little better...but I dunno.

oh and royksopp vaseline works much better than chapstick... your lips are just gonna get worse, so invest in some soon :)

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month 2 day 6

oh my god. they were not kidding when they say not to pick on accutane. i had small cysts i was just sick of, so i went nuts. I had a lot of anxiety about other things and it just came out that way. the skin literally got burned from the friction of squeezing, and although it worked...there are no more cysts, there is a HUGE scab on my face just from where i was squeezing. it takes up 10x's the space of what i was popping, looking much worse now. i couldn't belive i did that to myself. i don't how long it gonna take to heal because my skin is in such a vulnerable state. it was looking so clear to :(

pretty bad head aches for 2 days..probably cuz i have been slacking on water.

in florida right now visiting my mom...it's kinda intense. will write more later. love ya!

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Hey SE. Yahh i just did the same thing 10 minutes ago. Dammit. But don't worry - It'll heal soon... try putting some Aloe Vera on it to help. I also have a bad obsession with picking, I usually don't stop when it doesn't budge at first haha which is VERY BAD!! Just take a picture of your scab and put it up in your bathroom to remind yourself to be nice to your face.

:shades: <- They're chanel. Deal with it.

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Thanks Roysopp.. I think I have finally learned my lesson. The scab peeled off and now it is a big red streak across my face. I am gonna apply hyrdoquione cream on it when it is not so raw. It is covered with makeup, so I look 100 % clear now. Without makup this big red mark and a small stubborn pustules are all that resides on my face. I have not gotten a new pimple since that popping day. Could it be i am done with the acne phase...DAY 6 Month 2

today was a stressful day with mom. normally i would have cysts all over due to this stress, but thanks to accutane...nothing! woo hoo!!!!!!

also, trying a new contraception this week with lower dose hormones, called nuvaring. Anyone try it?

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month 2 day 8

had blood when i did a bowel movement yesterday. it was more than before, but today is fine. I ate a lot of fiber yesterday (which helped me today) so I am sure now it is from the dryness on tane. it really freaked me out. but now i am not worried. I am going to get some psyllium husk (fiber) and take it everyday. my skin is starting to look great. i am very red as i have been using hydroquinone because i want it all: no spots or acne. i don't care about the redness. i just cover it with powder. i have really smooth looking skin right now. just 2 tiny papules. i think this is starting to happen. it is very exciting. i am starting to not be ashamed of my face at the end of the day after sweating off my makeup. in fact, the makeup doesn't really sweat off as i am not oily. this is definitely not a walk in the park, but it is worth it. i am a little concerned as i leave for mexico for a week. i will just have to use lots of sunblock and wear a hat. all is well. For the first time in 16 years, I am looking people in the eye consistently. peace, Abby

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today was a stressful day with mom. normally i would have cysts all over due to this stress, but thanks to accutane...nothing! woo hoo!!!!!!

Yeah, I know the feeling about stress! I actually think that 70% of my ance is stress... so I am hoping the accutane is stronger then the stress :rolleyes:

But then again acne gives me (lots of) stress, it's so related. I would be scared if I had flawless skin and stopped my course that the stress brings it out agian but I read that stress isn't the thing that causes acne.

Then people with clear skin would never have stress :think: And stress won't go away forever..

Whatever.. hope you know what I mean.

IPB ImageBy the way.... Is that you on your avatar?IPB Image

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Glad to hear things are going well. Padriiiissimo Weyy! have a great time in Mexico. Where are you going exactly?

Que tenges un buen dia!

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royksopp, thanks! I am going on some cruise so I am going several places. It is a jazz cruise. Did you take spanish in hs? hahaha... I am always entertained by your posts. lol.

sweetamber-maybe people with acne already get more acne when the stress kicks in. stress triggers our hormones (adrenals and thyroid) to go off which def affects our acne. peace and thanks for stopping by.

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Hi there! Just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing - sounds like your skin is looking great!!! So you get to go on a cruise? Lucky girl! Hope you have a tonne of fun (and don't forget your sunscreen) :)

Tanya

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It is covered with makeup, so I look 100 % clear now. Without makup this big red mark and a small stubborn pustules are all that resides on my face.

heyy..u have a very informative and helpful log! i just started accutane..

i was just wondering, which brand of makeup do u use.. im not sure wat's suitable for pple on accutane..oh and have a great trip to mexico!

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tanya- thanks so much! how is life after tane doing?

varisha-i use Clinique Superfit Foundation, Mac Powder, and Mac concealer. mac is no comedegenic as is clinique. Mac covers super well brown spots. I love it. thanks for the wishes! I can't wait to go with my honey pie and listen to jazz :)

MONTH 2

Day 9

ok, small cyst on jaw line..under the skin, but brown looking.

two small papules on cheeks ( infected pores I think)

I looked at my face extensively today in the car mirrow which is how I tell how I really look because that mirrow is the worst ever. I see a lot of holes in my face. I hope they slough off. :(

No sideffects except dry lips.

Fiber fiber fiber guys and gals is a must! I had no issues for the first time since on tane since I started the fiber. Yay!

I come home to LA tomorrow from Florida. This was a hard trip. I hdn't seen my mom in 6 years. We healed a lot while here, but it was not easy. Plus my grandma has alzheimers, so as adorable she is, she would forget me a lot. But we had fun going to the movies and shopping. My mom insisted on cooking for me constantly. I helped teach her about eating healthy and exercise. I think she was sad as today was my last day..but I am ready to fly home to my life with my b/f and my roomate and my runs on the beach. Plus, I wouldn't mind getting laid. haha. 5 days is way too long without. Peace, Abby

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Hey Abby,

Good to hear the side effects are dissapearing as well as the spots.

That's really good that you were able to able to mend things with your mom. Remember, your family is the only one you've got - no matter what.

now go get some ass!!

Mike

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