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eXile.

How to deal with a big crush??

I recently got a big crush on a girl. I really like her personality and everything. But she has a boyfriend and I can't stop thinking about her.

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I hear you, I'm in the same situation except, the girl i have a crush on is married and she works with me. I try to avoid her but can't stop thinking about her. I also avoid her because of my acne, just like do with every girl.

oh well, crush is a crush, it'll go away right? not sure how to deal with it either

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Keep it to yourself until she breaks up with him. Or better yet, look for other girls.

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Personally, I love working out. I figure, I would like to become as strong as I can, and be stronger than anybody else in my school one day. Not only that, but I'm working on another part of my body, not my face. It make my body as appealing as possible while my face is healing, and I have acne. Perhaps she is more into finding guys that have a good personality, and are strong. You never know! Also, if she does happen to go with you one day, and her boyfriend gets angry, that working out will come in handy.....

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I mean I don't avoid her or anything. We are always playing around on the job and everything. Do u guys think I should tell her about the big crush I have on her? I am pretty sure she knows I like her tho. O and tomorrow is her last day of work :(.

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hey ive had the same thing hapened to me except it was a guy that was crushing on me and i had the boyfriend but i kinda liked the guy that was crushing on me but yeah i would tell her cus she might like u back and her knowing that u like her might bring her to realize that she wants you! idk that was a very confushing thing to say sorry if u dont get it

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I mean I don't avoid her or anything. We are always playing around on the job and everything. Do u guys think I should tell her about the big crush I have on her? I am pretty sure she knows I like her tho. O and tomorrow is her last day of work :(.

honestly if you think you will never see her again after this because it is her last day of work then it can't hurt. maybe she feels the same about you too :D

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Man its going to be hard telling her cause I am kinda shy also lol. Well lets see what happends tomorrow.

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Whenever I have a crush on a girl who's already "taken" (heh, but who's really "taken" in college?), I usually try to become a really good friend of hers. Not too good where the friendship is established and it would be way too odd to pursue a higher relationship, but good enough where I can still be very flirty and have a lot of fun with her. Basically, position yourself so there can be a potential "thing" if she ever were to be single. :razz:

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I recently got a big crush on a girl. I really like her personality and everything. But she has a boyfriend and I can't stop thinking about her.

I have been in alot of situtions like this but I never told any girl about it and I regret most of that to this day. You need to put yourself out there and if she doesn't like you, remember that she isn't the only girl in the world.

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Try having a crush on someone for almost ten years.......and he is your best friend.......and he doesn't have a clue you are in love with him, and even if he did, he has absolutely no interest in you as anything other than a friend. It f-ing sucks, because you love being with him, but it inevitably leaves you sad and wanting more.

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I hear ya. I got with this guy that I work with. I wasn't planning on much of anything really happening. Then? I found out that I really like him and enjoy his company. Thing is, right before he and I got to know each other his girlfriend left him because she decided she only wanted him as a friend and moved to California. He's confused and hurt and needs time...etc etc...and now she's writing him and telling him that she misses him...she's got two kids from a different relationship. He keeps saying that he just needs time. He said that maybe he'll realize that he's being stupid and letting a good person get away. Ha. I doubt it. I always get screwed. I'm sick of never just finding something that works. A "normal" relationship that lasts for awhile and it may or may not work out...but a stereotypical relationship: boy likes girl, girl likes boy, they date, they meet each other's parents. Basic. I always get the super emotional and troubled ones and I get attached and then thrown away.

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I mean I know she is not the only girl in the world but I really like her personality. Her personality really atracs me. I have never met someone like her.

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I mean I know she is not the only girl in the world but I really like her personality. Her personality really atracs me. I have never met someone like her.

Well, I know better than most how hard it is to find someone who is especially attractive.

However, I think it is wrong to try to break up a relationship or interpose yourself in an existing relationship. Unless, of course, the existing significant other is abusive or otherwise absolutely horrible. On the other hand, if someone is merely having problems in their current relationship, then you should help them with those problems. That usually means getting the person you like and their significant other to work those problems out, while lending a sympathetic ear as necessary. If it ends up the two aren't a good match, then they'll probably end up realizing it (especially if they can't work out their problems even after trying). If it helps, one should keep in mind that if you love someone, then you should value their happiness and well-being above your own, which means helping them with your problems rather than taking advantage of those problems.

So the high road is clear. You should just be friends with such a person, no matter how much you like them. Afterall, you don't want to be the jerk that took someone's girlfriend away. Being friends is ok, even good, so long as you can maintain proper behavior.

If it helps, then are many ways in this modern age to meet women. Also, most people are not all that unique, by and large, in the sense that there are usually a lot of other very similar people.* Maybe not someone exactly the same, but humans, going by twin studies, are pretty adaptable as far as love is concerned. Or, in more traditional words, "there are plenty of fish in the sea" -- and in fact a lot of those fish are similar to a number of other fish. Just keep in mind what your like and what you are looking for, and find someone that meets those standards -- just make sure those standards are reasonable.

-Drachasor

*Not always though. Certainly you can desire someone that has a pretty rare set of attributes. I'm like that for instance, and the number of women who are atheistic/non-religious, highly moral and altruistic, non-drinking/smoking, intelligent, science-liking, with the capability of being very silly/goofy is decidedly small.** My psychiatrist said the only other limiting thing I could do to make finding a mate harder would be to become a vegetarian, but I am not that undesperate yet.

**And it is likely I forgot an item or two, though the "non-drinking and non-religious" parts are problem the most limiting combo of the set. Anyhoo, this footnote is getting a bit off-topic.

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I figure, I would like to become as strong as I can, and be stronger than anybody else in my school one day. Not only that, but I'm working on another part of my body, not my face.

umm???

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Why do most guys automatically assume a chick is happy with her current boyfriend?

ALWAYS ASSUME THE OPPOSITE!

Get her number. Meet up with her, get with her as if she was single.

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Its a part of growng up. I have a huge crush on shakira but I know im never gonna have her. Best thing to do, from a guys point of view, is to avoid contact with her. Don't look at her cuz that'll just make you want her more. You better learn how to deal with this now or you're going to be the clingy type which other people don't like too much. I can here people bitchin about this already a mile away, but its my advice. Take it or leave it

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Give her you're phone number and tell her she can phone you whenever she wants. You never know, things might not work out. Either that or just forget about it and move on. In my experience, the latter is MUCH easier said than done.

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Why do most guys automatically assume a chick is happy with her current boyfriend?

ALWAYS ASSUME THE OPPOSITE!

Get her number. Meet up with her, get with her as if she was single.

Because most people here, thankfully, don't want to be a jerk (and don't want other people being a jerk). To use the principle of the Golden Rule, would you like it if some guy was treating your girlfriend/fiance/wife as if she were single? Remember that you aren't around your girlfriend/fiance/wife all the time.*

Additionally, say you get the girl to go with you and cheat on the guy. Do you want the girl to then break up with the guy and go out with you? Would you really want to be dating someone that has already demonstrate the capability to cheat on their partner?

So for these reasons and more, I don't interpose myself in already existing relationships. If the relationship has minor problems, and you care about someone enough to date them, then you should care about them enough to help them with their problems (as best you can). Acted selfishly or like a jerk in some other way just makes the world a worse place for all of us.

-Drachasor

*Note, I do not mean to suggest a guy acting in this manner would cause the girlfriend/fiance/wife to be unfaithful, but that's somewhat immaterial to the fact the guy would be acting like a jerk. He's just more of a jerk if he ruins a relationship that was happy, just because one of the members had a moment of weakness.

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Why do most guys automatically assume a chick is happy with her current boyfriend?

ALWAYS ASSUME THE OPPOSITE!

Get her number. Meet up with her, get with her as if she was single.

Because most people here, thankfully, don't want to be a jerk (and don't want other people being a jerk). To use the principle of the Golden Rule, would you like it if some guy was treating your girlfriend/fiance/wife as if she were single? Remember that you aren't around your girlfriend/fiance/wife all the time.*

Additionally, say you get the girl to go with you and cheat on the guy. Do you want the girl to then break up with the guy and go out with you? Would you really want to be dating someone that has already demonstrate the capability to cheat on their partner?

So for these reasons and more, I don't interpose myself in already existing relationships. If the relationship has minor problems, and you care about someone enough to date them, then you should care about them enough to help them with their problems (as best you can). Acted selfishly or like a jerk in some other way just makes the world a worse place for all of us.

-Drachasor

*Note, I do not mean to suggest a guy acting in this manner would cause the girlfriend/fiance/wife to be unfaithful, but that's somewhat immaterial to the fact the guy would be acting like a jerk. He's just more of a jerk if he ruins a relationship that was happy, just because one of the members had a moment of weakness.

I completely agree with that. I would not want to go out with someone who would willingly cheat on their last partner just to be with me. How would I know the same thing wouldn't happen to me? Too risky.

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Why do most guys automatically assume a chick is happy with her current boyfriend?

ALWAYS ASSUME THE OPPOSITE!

Get her number. Meet up with her, get with her as if she was single.

because most guys know the girl would be smart enough to leave the current boyfriend if he was something bad.

why do youuuuuuuuu assume that?

Why do most guys automatically assume a chick is happy with her current boyfriend?

ALWAYS ASSUME THE OPPOSITE!

Get her number. Meet up with her, get with her as if she was single.

Because most people here, thankfully, don't want to be a jerk (and don't want other people being a jerk). To use the principle of the Golden Rule, would you like it if some guy was treating your girlfriend/fiance/wife as if she were single? Remember that you aren't around your girlfriend/fiance/wife all the time.*

Additionally, say you get the girl to go with you and cheat on the guy. Do you want the girl to then break up with the guy and go out with you? Would you really want to be dating someone that has already demonstrate the capability to cheat on their partner?

So for these reasons and more, I don't interpose myself in already existing relationships. If the relationship has minor problems, and you care about someone enough to date them, then you should care about them enough to help them with their problems (as best you can). Acted selfishly or like a jerk in some other way just makes the world a worse place for all of us.

-Drachasor

*Note, I do not mean to suggest a guy acting in this manner would cause the girlfriend/fiance/wife to be unfaithful, but that's somewhat immaterial to the fact the guy would be acting like a jerk. He's just more of a jerk if he ruins a relationship that was happy, just because one of the members had a moment of weakness.

I completely agree with that. I would not want to go out with someone who would willingly cheat on their last partner just to be with me. How would I know the same thing wouldn't happen to me? Too risky.

I think i saw this happen in a jennifer lopez movie before

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Because often they are unsatisfied with their boyfriend...

If you want to go on moping around and thinking 'only if she was single', then fine, but don't dare complain about it.

Put up or shut up I say!

Also, in my experience this has worked for my 1/2 times I've tried it. One she willingly cheated, then wanted a relationship with me. The second I kinda got rejected, meh, water off a ducks back

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K I told her but she didn't belive me lol. Cause she said I am always playing around and everything. O well atleast I feel much better. The crush is fading away rapidly atleast.

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