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Need Help with 13 year old *Picture Added*

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My daughter has been suffering for a year with acne. It covers her face, from her forehead down to her chest - including back and shoulders. I have been taking her to our dermatologist since August of last year - about a few months after we realized normal cleansing was not going to treat it properly. It has been absolute hell for her. After trying salicylic treatments, the doctor has been treating her with antibiotics and Tretin-X. This hasn't been working either, yet he insisted we give it more time (It has been 6 months now).

She tries to hide it by putting her hair in face - which we've told her not to do since that only makes things worse. She avoids friends, parties, any social activities and I'm sure it's because of how the acne makes her feel. Well, now the hard part (this is where I cry). Yesterday, we had to go to my monster in law's house for an errand and this cruel, vicious, most horrible person in the world tells my daughter that her face looks like it's bleeding and "suggests" that she wash her face more often - then proceeds to tell her "You can go wash your face in my bathroom right now." I was furious, told her she was rude, cruel, and nobody deserves to be treated so horribly. We walked out with basically my monster in law running behind us - not apologizing to her granddaughter, mind you - no - she was carrying on about how bad the acne was and we should do something about it. HUH???? Where has she been for the past year??? She knew that my daughter was being treated by a doctor.

Last night and today, my daughter has been acting, what I would call, very depressed. She has already been in absolute agony over this whole acne ordeal anyway, but this just fueled it. I finally got her to talk about it and she admitted that her grandmother's words were very hurtful and she said she thinks everybody that sees her feels the same way. I'm so upset about this whole thing. I don't know how to help her except I know for sure if she gets rid of the acne, she wouldn't be so depressed and have such low self esteem.

I have another appointment tomorrow with her doctor and I'm going to tell him everything, but I'm fed up with the antibiotic treatments that are obviously not working. I'm afraid of Accutane because she does play sports and the muscle pain/bone growth problems associated with it scare me. We've tried BP but not to the level that is on the main page so maybe we can just try that. This is my last attempt with this particular dermatologist.

My main issue is how to deal with her self esteem. I just don't know what to do to make her feel better. She really is a beautiful, smart, talented girl but she doesn't believe her family. Now with her grandmother saying such vicious words, I'm afraid this just leveled her into the ground. Believe me - I really do wish death to that old woman for her behavior, but I need to just focus on my girl right now. Any ideas on how to make her feel better about herself? I just can't believe that acne has caused a once bright, cheery, outgoing, personable girl to become such a recluse. I cry for her.

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im in a similar position, and i don't want to sound narrow minded but its the only answer to the self-esteem question: until most of her acne is gone, or until her face doesn't look like 'it's bleeding' (whatever that means) she won't ever be like before. im sure accutane is the right solution but because she is a young female it will affect her more than it will a young male (such as me). you also have to weigh the harms and benefits in this situation. depressed/anti-social behavior in a critical part of your daughters life vs. possibly bone problems when shes older and muscle/joint pain when she does sports.

you and your daughter decide since you're the one signing the waiver.

of course im not a doctor and there may be some other stuff that may pose as a major risk so its best to leave it to the pros to decide :cool: . im just saying what im saying however because my doctor specifically told me that accutane is given as a last resort when no other acne treatments work and this description seems to fit your daughter entirely.

whatever you and your daughter decide to do i give my best wishes and hope that she gets better in the future.

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Try to ask her dermatologist for minocin/minocycline or doxycycline. It helped me in my early stages of acne. It didn't clear me up fully, but it controlled it enough. Also she might want to try the infamous proactiv, because it may work for her.

Or you may want her to try vitamin b5 because it has also helped me. If you want to help your daughter, i wouldn't rely on her dermatologist fully, i would recommend also researching here for other ways to control it.

I think it's really difficult to motivate her to see a positive light because when my parents tried to motivate me when my acne was bad, nothing seemed to help. The only thing that helped is when my face was getting under control.

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Try to ask her dermatologist for minocin/minocycline or doxycycline. It helped me in my early stages of acne. It didn't clear me up fully, but it controlled it enough. Also she might want to try the infamous proactiv, because it may work for her.

Or you may want her to try vitamin b5 because it has also helped me. If you want to help your daughter, i wouldn't rely on her dermatologist fully, i would recommend also researching here for other ways to control it.

I think it's really difficult to motivate her to see a positive light because when my parents tried to motivate me when my acne was bad, nothing seemed to help. The only thing that helped is when my face was getting under control.

minocyclin is a bitch! it got me clear for about two years then wen i became immune to it i exploded into what i have now.

just tackle the problem early on.

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Guest ThereIsHope

Hhmmmmm, you're daughter sounds alot like me when my acne was super bad a couple months ago.

The best thing for you to do, in my opinion, is start her on Dan's regimen, and try to treat her acne as naturally as she/you can. Has she changed her diet? Cutting out all dairy/ most sugars/ and gluten has helped my skin greatly. Try going to the diet/holistic heath board to find out a bunch more stuff. And put her on vitamin B5!!! Large amounts of B5 have proven to drastically reduce the amount of sebum (the oil that causes acne) production and therefore less pimples. I'm currently on 10g and have been for 3 weeks and have seen great results already! Go do some research on it. Its well worth a shot.

Hope that helps! Keep searching all around the boards, there's TONS of helpful information floating around. :D

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first off your an awesome mom!

it sucks growing up with bad skin and it will only get worse when she gets to high school so i would say if nothing works get her on accutane before she starts high school that way she can enjoy it cuz everything in high school is so social.

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Try to ask her dermatologist for minocin/minocycline or doxycycline. It helped me in my early stages of acne. It didn't clear me up fully, but it controlled it enough. Also she might want to try the infamous proactiv, because it may work for her.

Or you may want her to try vitamin b5 because it has also helped me. If you want to help your daughter, i wouldn't rely on her dermatologist fully, i would recommend also researching here for other ways to control it.

I think it's really difficult to motivate her to see a positive light because when my parents tried to motivate me when my acne was bad, nothing seemed to help. The only thing that helped is when my face was getting under control.

minocyclin is a bitch! it got me clear for about two years then wen i became immune to it i exploded into what i have now.

just tackle the problem early on.

I agree before it gets even worse. I've had this for 9yrs now, I wish I got accutane earlier so I wouldn't have had to suffer throughout adolescence

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She was on Minocycline from February to the end of March, but she was allergic (broke out in hives and swelled up) and he changed her to Erythromycin (she's currently on). I completely understand now, though, to not fully rely on the dermatologist. I'm disappointed, and I admit surprised, that after a year of treatment, there is still a major problem and now it has ballooned into such an emotional one. If he tells us to continue on with this program after I tell him what this poor girl has been going through, I'll definitely move on and have her try Dan's regimen.

The vitamin B5 sounds like it definitely couldn't hurt though. Thanks for the suggestion.

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well is her acne cystic and/or to the point where it is moderate or severe?

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If it were me...

I would cut off all contact with "Grandma" (and I use that term loosely), unless Grandma can promise to not comment on your daughter appearance. Your daughter needs to be protected from her.

I can't help you much with what to try. My acne was never that bad. I just know that, as a mom (my boys are almost 11 and 8), that I would try to find out everything I could about acne treatment (which it sounds like you are doing).

Hang in there...my heart aches for both of you.

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Guest ThereIsHope

I know I already posted, but here's a list of things that have greatly helped clear up my once-cystic acne.

1. drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day

2. cutting out all dairy/gluten/bad sugars/ includes candy/soda etc.

3. getting plenty of sleep and not being stressed out. these two are key.

4. changing my pillow case every night and cleaning all phones etc. often

5. Dan's regimen

6. 10g of B5

7. zinc, flaxseed, vitamin A and C, clearpores hebal supplement

8. NOT using hair products! I even cut out conditioner. The oils in it were getting onto my skin and making me break out. I just use head and shoulders shampoo now.

9. I find my skin looks alot healthier and clearer when I drink a glass of carrot juice every day

10. limited sun exposure and swimming in chlorine pools (helps me alot!)

11. independent thinker's green smoothies (look at the Diet/holistic health board for more information)

Hope those help a little. For me, a combination of all these things has helped my skin alot.

Also try apple cider vinegar. I havn't tried it yet but I really want to. It's supposed to greatly help acne and redmarks. Look at the redmarks board for info on it.

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hmmmm i don't mean to ask for pics because i'm sure you don't want you to post pics of you daughter without her permission but I think that just seein her it would be easier to suggest alternate treatments and or suggest things that could help her at w/e type of acne she has.

If you have any questions with accutane I would b eglad to help as I was on an 11 months treatment myself and know all of the hell and bad things that go along with it, but also the amazing things it can do to help your skin. She is only 13 and I'm not sure if a doctor would prescribe it for someone that young, but if he/she does I would suggest using a low dose longer treatment until she isn't at the point playing sports then take about 60 mgs per day and she will be cleared up in no time. best of luck to you and your daughther. You are a very good mom and I can tell with u here for her you guys will get thruogh this together.

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If you go to the derm again, ask if he/she recommends a professional who can do facials as in extracting the pimples manually. Just when all hope was lost for me (cystic acne), it basically helped me clear up as 2-10 zits removed per minute in an hour long period is a lot.

Beware: can be quite pricy (around $50 per visit), can leave her face quite red for a few days after a facial (avoid seeing the "Monster in Law"), and especially: the procedure can be a bit painful, especially if inflammed zits and cysts (ow ow ow ow) are extracted.

Facials or no facials. I really recommend the BP 2.5% on this website (probably the most effective and cheapest acne medication) as it helped me mantain my acne under control once it became mild/moderate and is essential to minimize acne flareups. Many people have results with it, especially if they follow Dan's Regime (though I wouldn't recommend that amount of BP if she does facials). The vitamin b5 overdose treatment can be almost as good as Accutane without major side effects though it doesn't work on everyone.

Being a victim of horrible acne + depression + loneliness and also a friend of victims of acne, it is really hard to motivate. However, what would help the most is that you understand your daughter's position and are always supportive of her. Many people on this board are more depressed if their parents are not supportive and even more if they are hurtful like the monster in law, so your daughter is lucky that you are a great, caring mother like mine.

I suggest to browse through the forum (more around the area of medicines) and research acne treatments so that you can ask the dermatologist about it.

Also, this website could help her in terms of making friends with people who are in a similar situation.

Thanks for the post, I hope your daughter can avoid having more than minor acne for her high school life.

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hmmmm i don't mean to ask for pics because i'm sure you don't want you to post pics of you daughter without her permission but I think that just seein her it would be easier to suggest alternate treatments and or suggest things that could help her at w/e type of acne she has.

If you have any questions with accutane I would b eglad to help as I was on an 11 months treatment myself and know all of the hell and bad things that go along with it, but also the amazing things it can do to help your skin. She is only 13 and I'm not sure if a doctor would prescribe it for someone that young, but if he/she does I would suggest using a low dose longer treatment until she isn't at the point playing sports then take about 60 mgs per day and she will be cleared up in no time. best of luck to you and your daughther. You are a very good mom and I can tell with u here for her you guys will get thruogh this together.

i agree.

pictures would really help a lot.

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except I know for sure if she gets rid of the acne, she wouldn't be so depressed and have such low self esteem.

if u spend time here ull realize the #1 ? ppl w acne ask (aside from how 2 get rid of it) is why u get it?

this can literally drive u nuts, just read ### posts here on

'i ate a carrot and broke out' 'i didnt use enough xxx product and broke out'

it makes u 2nd guess everything!

not being mean but ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ read that girls long list of things to do...thats hard life!

i use cheap college soap shower weekly if that sweat alot @ gym and have 99% clear skin thx 2 accutane w 0000000 maintenance. it takes the paranoia away.

acutane is vry safe and vry effective. i wld get it asap.

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acutane is vry safe and vry effective. i wld get it asap.

I agree with the effective part as it is easily the easiest way to clear up, but ...

Some people can experience permanent side effects or very irritating temporary effects.

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If you go to the derm again, ask if he/she recommends a professional who can do facials as in extracting the pimples manually. Just when all hope was lost for me (cystic acne), it basically helped me clear up as 2-10 zits removed per minute in an hour long period is a lot.

Beware: can be quite pricy (around $50 per visit), can leave her face quite red for a few days after a facial (avoid seeing the "Monster in Law"), and especially: the procedure can be a bit painful, especially if inflammed zits and cysts (ow ow ow ow) are extracted.

Facials or no facials. I really recommend the BP 2.5% on this website (probably the most effective and cheapest acne medication) as it helped me mantain my acne under control once it became mild/moderate and is essential to minimize acne flareups. Many people have results with it, especially if they follow Dan's Regime (though I wouldn't recommend that amount of BP if she does facials). The vitamin b5 overdose treatment can be almost as good as Accutane without major side effects though it doesn't work on everyone.

Being a victim of horrible acne + depression + loneliness and also a friend of victims of acne, it is really hard to motivate. However, what would help the most is that you understand your daughter's position and are always supportive of her. Many people on this board are more depressed if their parents are not supportive and even more if they are hurtful like the monster in law, so your daughter is lucky that you are a great, caring mother like mine.

I suggest to browse through the forum (more around the area of medicines) and research acne treatments so that you can ask the dermatologist about it.

Also, this website could help her in terms of making friends with people who are in a similar situation.

Thanks for the post, I hope your daughter can avoid having more than minor acne for her high school life.

My derm has a spa in his office. I get "acne surgery" (a facial with extractions) from the esthetician there. My insurance covers it. I don't have to pay the $80 for it. I get them monthly.

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like your daughter i got acne when i was 12/13 and have just recently cured it (im 19 now).

i suggest u cut out all dairy products from her diet and get her some calcium supplements so this doesnt affect her growth or strength of bones, ive found dairy was the MAIN cause of my acne and lots of others have found it caused or worsened their acne. seriously just try this out for a month or so and if you dont see any improvement then you can go back to normal. also i would suggest she not use anything but a mild cleanser and a moisturizer as i found all the products i used over the years just damaged my skin.

also im sorry to hear about the incident with your mother in law, she sounds like a ignorant stuck up bitch.

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It took me some time to figure it out, but here's a picture of her. I blacked out all identifiable features so there would be no reason for her to be upset that I posted it here. Hopefully, it will allow you more experienced people here to help us deal with her skin. Thank you all so much for your support and advice. I can't thank you enough. :)

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Guest Michael Jackson

Her acne looks like regimen level. I suggest Dan's regimen.

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that's not in need of accutane.. just some careful care. i never liked BP cause my skin is sensitive.

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Yes, do Dan's Regimen. It worked well on my and I had moderate acne.

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yes definately dan's regiman

I didn't like the B5 pills since they didn't do any oil reduction seemed like a big waste

good luck to you and your daughter

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Dan's Regiman w/ his suggested products and follow it religiously. You'll probably have to supervise her and make sure she follows all the steps right and stuff.

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