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Does Brutal honesty offend you?

Does brutal honesty offend you?

Theres a difference between brutal honesty, and being hurtful and offensive, lemme explain.

If Im with my friend and I ask him, "Do you think im good lookin?" or "Do you think im good at what I do?"

If my friend replies with a "I think your ugly" or "I think you suck at what you do" then thats brutal honesty. I asked for an opinion, and I got one.

If someone just comes up to me one day for no reason and says "your ugly" or "you suck", you know just giving me their opinion without even being asked, then thats mean and offensive, and would make me think who does this guy think he is.

But these days what is a compliment anyway? I mean what does a compliment even mean to you? Most people are just up front and nice, and if they did be honest and give you an opinion you weren't happy to hear, would you be offended?

I dont even bother askin people for their opinions, because if the person gave me a good opinion or was just trying to be nice, it wouldn't make me feel good at all because there opinion doesn't count, I know what I am and I have my own opinion and thats what matters (not to be concieted). like not in a conceited way, like im takin a physical test for the FDNY within the next yr or so, the test is challenging, I know the night before the test, im gonna be nervous and have my doubts, is there really any point of askin my dad or someone else how they think im gonna do on the test? Because I have doubt, and if someone tells me they think i'll do well, It wont make a difference because I'll still have the same doubt, and their opinion wont do me any good. And if someone gives me a brutal honest opinion, then I'll feel stupid for askin, so thats 1 reason I dont ask people there opinions about myself on things.

2nd reason is because most people just bullshit you.. Is there any point of askin my mom her opinion on something, of course my mom is gonna try and be nice, or if I ask any of my friends, same thing. Most people aren't brutally honest, including myself.

Am I saying be burtally honest with people, like if your at the baseball fields and some kid is pitching like shit and then he asks you if you think he's a good pitcher, and you say you flat out think he sux, your being honest, am I condoning that, not exactly.

Im not brutally honest, I think im a foney sometimes. I told a co-worker how much i love pumpkin pie and how my mom makes it so good i can eat it all day (which is true). So this co-worker was such a nice person, around thanksgiving time she made me some pumpkin pie, she told me she can make good pumpkin pie too. So she gives me a pumpkin pie, I go into the kitchen to eat it, and the pumpkin pie honestly was brutal, it was terrible and nothing like the pumpkin pie my mom makes. Now im not brutally honest, so when this co-worker was on the phone dealing with a patient who called up, I threw the pumpkin pie in the garbage but buried it under alot of shit, I then threw my plate on top with the fork in it, making it look like i ate the pie. I then came out of the kitchen and told her the pie was great and thanked her for it.

Should I have told her straight up the pumpkin pie sucked? thats a personal example of me, I can't be brutally honest because i'd feel too bad hurting someones feelings..

But the question is, are you offended by Brutal honesty? if you were that woman (co-worker of mine) and I was brutaly honest, and I told you that pumpkin pie sucked, would you be offended or not?

Personally im not offended by brutal honesty, I'd be embarased, If I was that co-worker, I'd be embarrased that I made a pumpkin pie and someone told me he didn't like it, i'd be embafrased with myself, but I wouldn't be offended.

I dont bother askin people there opinions, but if I ask someone there opinion, i want an honest response. If I ask someone do you think im good at this or not, if the person says im good at it, I want them to be honest and mean it, and if they say I suck at it, then I respect the opinion and I wouldn't be offended. i'd rather someone criticise me than compliment me to be nice.

Whats your take, and are you brutaly honest yourself? Would you have tol that co-worker you didn't like her pumpkin pie, or would you have done what I did to be nice?

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I don't go around being brutally honest esp if I know it's gonna hurt there feelings

there are cases where you do have to be brutally honest ..............in your case I wouldn't have said the pie sucked

I wouldve done what you did, pretend I ate the pie and say it was delicious

now if she offers another one , i'll be like no thanks your pie was so good it made me full already =)

oh yeah compliments, you obviously know if they're just being nice to you..............at least they weren't rude or what not

so you know at least they're trying to respect you without being an ass about it.........well open ass anyway

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I would like to have people be honest to me.. but in a non brutal way. Like if my hair looked like shit a certain day and I ask a friend if my hair looks good or not.. I would like them to say "It doesn't look like you usually have it... I think it would look cute like ____".

Something like that instead of just plain ol "yeah it looks like shit" lol

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I would like to have people be honest to me.. but in a non brutal way. Like if my hair looked like shit a certain day and I ask a friend if my hair looks good or not.. I would like them to say "It doesn't look like you usually have it... I think it would look cute like ____".

Something like that instead of just plain ol "yeah it looks like shit" lol

lol, well i over said it. I didn't mean brutally honest where people tell you "you suck or you look like shit". I meant brutally honest where you know, they'll tell you I dont like it, or I dont think your good at this. Now If I was gonna be brutally honest, I wouldn't of told the co-worker her pie sux, because wording it like that is impolite, I would have told her I didn't like the pie and maybe I didn't think it was good. Now thats brutally honest, but woridng it in a respectufl manner. So if you read my post, dont take me literal when I said th whole pie sux thing, because I woudn't of straight up told her "the pie sux", i would have told her in a more polite manner if i was going to be brutally honest.

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i agree with mandy. thats the way i would be "brutually honest" also, just say something like "well, i dont personally like that style of shirt on you, but it's your shirt".

brutal honestly hurts most people i think, even though you want to know, i dont think you want to know precisely.

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i agree with mandy. thats the way i would be "brutually honest" also, just say something like "well, i dont personally like that style of shirt on you, but it's your shirt".

brutal honestly hurts most people i think, even though you want to know, i dont think you want to know precisely.

Yea thats a great way of putting it. I agree with you on that, just generally, I wouldn't be offended if someone was straight up wit me. Bu I think alot of people, if not most people dont like brutal honesty, which is why i'd feel bad if I ever was brutally honest.

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I've always been brutally honest. I don't exactly come off as an asshole but if you ask for my opinion; don't expect me to beat around the bush, sugar-coat and euphemise things to make you feel better. I don't expect that treatment either. I think everyone that knows me is aware of that, and I never found it to be a short-coming as the one's that do ask me questions, ask me REAL questions, not just already composed answers begging for validation.

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Yes it offends me. I'd prefer people not be brutally honest with me. I wouldn't like being lied to just to feel better about myself either though. So I just don't ask for people's opinons. I know how I look most of the time, so I know when someone is lying or when someone is being honest. theres no need to ask...

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I like honesty, I'm not so sure about brutal honesty though. If someone has a criticism then they should offer a suggestion on how to improve instead of just being a bitch. I guess just like what Mandy said.

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I think it all depends on how you phrase your honesty. Criticism is one thing but telling someone "they suck" is another. And to an extent it also depends on how well you know the other person.

As for the pumpkin pie, you can just tell her what you didn't like about it. Not just "it sucked". I mean there must've been a reason right? Too salty, too much pumpkin, wrong consistency etc... I for one hate people telling my cooking is "nice". That's why I don't go out of my way to offer food around. If people want it or come back for more that tells me what I need to know.

I would rather prefer honesty, though honestly (excuse the pun) it's a bit hard in today's world.

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Does brutal honesty offend you?

Theres a difference between brutal honesty, and being hurtful and offensive, lemme explain.

If Im with my friend and I ask him, "Do you think im good lookin?" or "Do you think im good at what I do?"

If my friend replies with a "I think your ugly" or "I think you suck at what you do" then thats brutal honesty. I asked for an opinion, and I got one.

If someone just comes up to me one day for no reason and says "your ugly" or "you suck", you know just giving me their opinion without even being asked, then thats mean and offensive, and would make me think who does this guy think he is.

But these days what is a compliment anyway? I mean what does a compliment even mean to you? Most people are just up front and nice, and if they did be honest and give you an opinion you weren't happy to hear, would you be offended?

I dont even bother askin people for their opinions, because if the person gave me a good opinion or was just trying to be nice, it wouldn't make me feel good at all because there opinion doesn't count, I know what I am and I have my own opinion and thats what matters (not to be concieted). like not in a conceited way, like im takin a physical test for the FDNY within the next yr or so, the test is challenging, I know the night before the test, im gonna be nervous and have my doubts, is there really any point of askin my dad or someone else how they think im gonna do on the test? Because I have doubt, and if someone tells me they think i'll do well, It wont make a difference because I'll still have the same doubt, and their opinion wont do me any good. And if someone gives me a brutal honest opinion, then I'll feel stupid for askin, so thats 1 reason I dont ask people there opinions about myself on things.

2nd reason is because most people just bullshit you.. Is there any point of askin my mom her opinion on something, of course my mom is gonna try and be nice, or if I ask any of my friends, same thing. Most people aren't brutally honest, including myself.

Am I saying be burtally honest with people, like if your at the baseball fields and some kid is pitching like shit and then he asks you if you think he's a good pitcher, and you say you flat out think he sux, your being honest, am I condoning that, not exactly.

Im not brutally honest, I think im a foney sometimes. I told a co-worker how much i love pumpkin pie and how my mom makes it so good i can eat it all day (which is true). So this co-worker was such a nice person, around thanksgiving time she made me some pumpkin pie, she told me she can make good pumpkin pie too. So she gives me a pumpkin pie, I go into the kitchen to eat it, and the pumpkin pie honestly was brutal, it was terrible and nothing like the pumpkin pie my mom makes. Now im not brutally honest, so when this co-worker was on the phone dealing with a patient who called up, I threw the pumpkin pie in the garbage but buried it under alot of shit, I then threw my plate on top with the fork in it, making it look like i ate the pie. I then came out of the kitchen and told her the pie was great and thanked her for it.

Should I have told her straight up the pumpkin pie sucked? thats a personal example of me, I can't be brutally honest because i'd feel too bad hurting someones feelings..

But the question is, are you offended by Brutal honesty? if you were that woman (co-worker of mine) and I was brutaly honest, and I told you that pumpkin pie sucked, would you be offended or not?

Personally im not offended by brutal honesty, I'd be embarased, If I was that co-worker, I'd be embarrased that I made a pumpkin pie and someone told me he didn't like it, i'd be embafrased with myself, but I wouldn't be offended.

I dont bother askin people there opinions, but if I ask someone there opinion, i want an honest response. If I ask someone do you think im good at this or not, if the person says im good at it, I want them to be honest and mean it, and if they say I suck at it, then I respect the opinion and I wouldn't be offended. i'd rather someone criticise me than compliment me to be nice.

Whats your take, and are you brutaly honest yourself? Would you have tol that co-worker you didn't like her pumpkin pie, or would you have done what I did to be nice?

Honesty is my trademark. People that know me know they don't need to use the phrase "be honest" because I tell it like it is - always. I'm the real deal and will tell you you are fat if you are fat, skinny if you are skinny, and ugly if you are ugly. Everyone respects me for this and this is a great trait to have to take on further in your professional careers. Case closed.

:ninja:

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you shouldnt go through all lifes challenges by yourself

you should learn to trust in others, and believe them. And asking for their opinion or help, can help you to grow or feel better about yourself.

I was like you once, and than I realized confiding in others was very benefitial.

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I think it all depends on how you phrase your honesty. Criticism is one thing but telling someone "they suck" is another. And to an extent it also depends on how well you know the other person.

As for the pumpkin pie, you can just tell her what you didn't like about it. Not just "it sucked". I mean there must've been a reason right? Too salty, too much pumpkin, wrong consistency etc... I for one hate people telling my cooking is "nice". That's why I don't go out of my way to offer food around. If people want it or come back for more that tells me what I need to know.

I would rather prefer honesty, though honestly (excuse the pun) it's a bit hard in today's world.

I didn't actually mean I would of told her it sucked, in one of my ther replies to this thread I stressed that I wasn't being literal, if I was to be honest I would of told her in a polite way.

you shouldnt go through all lifes challenges by yourself

you should learn to trust in others, and believe them. And asking for their opinion or help, can help you to grow or feel better about yourself.

I was like you once, and than I realized confiding in others was very benefitial.

I have no one to confide in at the moment.

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Their are times i ask for check ups.

Like every morning beforei go to school i have my mom check me, make sure what im wearing looks ... "cheechee like" and my makeup is just write and no lines or anything

andi ask people if what im wearing is jus a little tooo much

they always say "no its so awesome!" €

but i askedf for that they REALLY THOUGHT.

i hate that. if i ask, i want to know hte reality of it

ALSO, if i asked someone if i was pretty or not. Id want the truth. not mean. Like "no, youre butt ass ugly." But more like "no, i do not think you are physically pretty"

DONT LIE TO ME MAN. IF I ASK, I REALLY DO WANT TO KNOW. i dont get mad at the people when they tell truth, just a little sad sometimes

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