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Rarg

why i hate my face

First off, hey, this is my first post to acne.org forums, i hope you all have better luck than me.

My dilemma is this, i have horrible acne thats caused due to hereditary issues, my mom had horrible acne, my grandma had horrible acne, my dad had none, my brother has none, i have enough to share with my family and yours. I've probably had bad acne for 3 years now, at first i thought it was normal everyone gets it acne, but then as mine continued to get worse with time, and everyone around me(literally everyone, as im the only one i know with acne anymore) got much better until they had clear skin, i realised that I have a problem. I talked to my mom about it, she hated the idea of accutane even though i begged her so instead she got me "acne facials". Well, i really want to sue these people who gave me these because in my opinion this is where it got MUCH MUCH worse. An acne facial were i went was like this: theyd put some goop on my face, wipe it off, goop on, wipe off, after about 4 of these they would proceed to POP(like squeeze until it bursts) every zit on my face, at the time i didn't realise popping zits only made it worse.

After about 3 or so months of THIS, my acne had gotten much worse, my face always looked sunburned because of the redness, and i really really hated the way i look. So finally, my mom decided to take me to the doctor. My doctor, usually a really timid nice guy, actually got mad, like really mad at my mom for putting me on acne facials, as all he said it did was scar my face up badly and make my acne worse. I got put on accutane, and so far i've been on it for 3+ months. My doctor told me that my face would look much better in 2 weeks, as time progressed, it got worse, he just kept raising the amount of time till it started looking better, so now its gone from "itl look better in 2 weeks" to "it'll look better in 2 months", just what i want to hear >.>.

Well, Now my acne is at an all time low, i have a zit on the right side of my face thats a dark purple and probably the size of your pinky, my face is COVERED in little red dots that don't actually come out of my face like bumps, there just there. Also in the mix i have a ton of normal zits all over, the bumpy ones, and a bunch of the ones with the white caps, i also have blackheads covering my face, and just the other day i got big red zit on my back. Yay.

I'm really not sure why I'm even typing all this, i guess i just needed a place to vent about my acne, so there you go, I've reached a stage where all i can do is wait and hope that this time out of my doctors 6 other attempts might be true, maybe by next year this time ill have one less zit... no, thats hoping for too much.

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on a side note: after reading some stuff on the main site i think i might have acne dysmorphia(sp?). Mainly because i hated myself so much last night for my acne i popped a massive zit, which i regret, yet dont regret today.

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on a side note: after reading some stuff on the main site i think i might have acne dysmorphia(sp?). Mainly because i hated myself so much last night for my acne i popped a massive zit, which i regret, yet dont regret today.

You're not alone with your face, and you're not a terrible person or gross or any of the things you may be thinking. You just got dealt a crappy hand. Just try not to think about it or touch it. You may want to call your derm (or have your mom do it) to ask about taking something to control this initial breakout (I believe they give erythromycin) until the Accutane starts to work for you.

Do you know the size of the dose you're taking? If he started out with a very large dose, it may be why you're having such a bad initial breakout. If it's a low dose, it may be too low, and this is just how your face is without Accutane working.

I'm scheduled to go on Accutane soon. The moment my derm okayed it for me, it was like this weight was lifted off my shoulders--at least now I know that I'm doing all I can do to get clear, so my face is no longer my fault. I stopped wearing makeup, I stopped getting upset when I see my reflection.. I just don't really care anymore.. and it feels really good. Try thinking the same way: your face right now is just a temporary setback.

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See thats what i did, for the first YEAR. But now it's like, i hate that i CAN'T do anything, your and my idea is the opposite, your content with the fact that now you just wait for some pill to kick in that you don't even know will! How can you actually be happy with that!? I'm mad because i want to be able to do something, but i can't, all i can do is wait, and it kills me, because i don't even know how long i'll be waiting, or if im even waiting for anything! Who's to say my acne will get better, or that yours will, we DON'T know, and thats what i hate.

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See thats what i did, for the first YEAR. But now it's like, i hate that i CAN'T do anything, your and my idea is the opposite, your content with the fact that now you just wait for some pill to kick in that you don't even know will! How can you actually be happy with that!? I'm mad because i want to be able to do something, but i can't, all i can do is wait, and it kills me, because i don't even know how long i'll be waiting, or if im even waiting for anything! Who's to say my acne will get better, or that yours will, we DON'T know, and thats what i hate.

You're exactly like me.

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except, if i look at your picture i see that your good looking, i.e. you have no acne, or its all hidden under your huge sunglasses, in my case, i think i have bad acne, but when i look on these forums i realise its not THAT bad, but everyone around me where i live has NO acne, which makes mine SEEM horrible.

i'd say my problem is less that i have acne, and more that everyone else doesnt and its so socially unacceptable.

example: i was in a mall the other day and heard an ad on acne, one of there big points for getting rid of it was that "ACNE IS A CONSTANT SOCIAL EMBARASSMENT". Nice thing to hear when you HAVE IT.

gah.

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Ok, deep breaths. Accutane will most likely clear you up. in the mean time i suggest you get an antibiotic to help with the breakouts (cephalexin has worked the best for me.) How far into your accutane treatment are you?

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I've been on it for 3 months, and it's only gotten worse since then, also, my doctor SPECIFICALLY said that i can't use any other type of acne stuff while im on accutane. Hell, he won't even let me take the one-a-day pills i used to(a multivitamin).

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you can take antibiotics as long as they are not tetracyclines. My derm said she would keep me on cephalexin during the beginning of my accutane course (If I do go on accutane, I see the derm friday.) to prevent a breakout. as far as the multivitamin goes. he probably didn't want you to use it incase it contained Vitamin A

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okay well, where can i get these antibiotics? and how much do they cost?

also, kanmi, i looked through your profile, and im sticking to my other statement, were not alike, maybe in the way we think, but man, you have no acne compared to me, even if you were in my situation where noone around you has acne and your the outcast, you'd still be considered to just have normal teenage acne.

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okay well, where can i get these antibiotics? and how much do they cost?

They have to be prescribed by a doctor. Mine were only about $5 because insurance covered them. I'm not sure how much they would cost if I had to pay full price for them

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crap, somehow i doubt my mom will let me take them then since it took me a year of trying every crappy product to use accutane, plus she probably doesnt want to pay for it and i cant afford anything right now.

For people who are on accutane: How long did it take you to actually see results that made you feel better about yourself. And if your going to say 2 weeks or a month don't even post, because most likely you didnt even have bad acne in the first place.

And that's another thing, i know about 6 people who have gone on accutane besides me, and it's all the stupid people who think 1 zit is the end of the world for them, when in reality, all they have to do is try something besides soap and water and there face would be clear. And how there parents agreed and put them on it so quickly and easily, If my mom had just let me go on accutane when i wanted i might be better now.

ahh, so much anger:P

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eeeer read.

she is quoting you on your feeling of having to deal with acne... not comparing your acne situation to hers.

This isn't a competition on who has it worse. would you really like if someone like me saying this

HELL, your acne isn't even bad, one raging cyst and other stuff doesn't qualify you to have the previlege to VENT.

like that?

The other guy isn't content with living with acne, non of us are or else we won't be here. You aren't the only one so don't make it like we don't or can't possibly understand what you may be going through. The point he is demonstrating is that accutane is the big one, there really isn't anything else you should/can do (antibiotics usually isn't given) other than to faithfully take the pills and hope for the best.

So what if it may not live up to your expectation or that it may never work for you... who cares... you have no alternative so do yourself a favor and stop feeling sorry for yourself and be defensive about it, especially when people are responding to your vent and tries to help you.

You are free to be an ass to me, I don't hang around the forum to be nice.

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Having acne is really frusterating. At least you are on accutane now, I have dealt with it for a VERY long time and only recently got the stuff, at 27 with scars all over my face to prove it. That being said, everyone is different, but we all feel around the same frusterations.

You will find people on here that broke out until the end of their treatment. Some people even had their treatment period extended because they didn't see the results that they should've. Some people cleared up even more when they got off of it. There really are so many possibilities, and you won't know your outcome until you are there. The key is patience. I am guilty of not being patient with this stuff myself, but we have to remain patient.

Hang in there and let the accutane do its thing. Take it just one day at a time.

K

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I know it seems likea long time to wait.. but accutane didnt work for me till around month four.

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Wow... Please please PLEASE don't make a judgement about accutane based on your 3 months of it... as has been said before, you're NOT alone, and please don't make this a "my face is shittier than yours so I get to complain about it and you don't" battle... that doesn't fly here, because there's ALWAYS someone with a shittier face than you.

Stick with it, have a positive attitude, and be patient! Only after you're done with the course can you make a judgement about it. In the meantime, thank the people that have been so nice and supportive and sympathetic to your frustration... we're all going through the same shit, except SOME of us aren't even lucky enough to GET accutane...

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crap, somehow i doubt my mom will let me take them then since it took me a year of trying every crappy product to use accutane, plus she probably doesnt want to pay for it and i cant afford anything right now.

For people who are on accutane: How long did it take you to actually see results that made you feel better about yourself. And if your going to say 2 weeks or a month don't even post, because most likely you didnt even have bad acne in the first place.

And that's another thing, i know about 6 people who have gone on accutane besides me, and it's all the stupid people who think 1 zit is the end of the world for them, when in reality, all they have to do is try something besides soap and water and there face would be clear. And how there parents agreed and put them on it so quickly and easily, If my mom had just let me go on accutane when i wanted i might be better now.

ahh, so much anger:P

Hey bro, I think like this all the time - I have pretty severe acne...and yes I had the whole year of severe acne pre-accutane and everything.

Point of my post: I'm 65 days in with only a marginal improvement, my skin still looks like shit. Your dermatologist sounds like a bit of a tool, but according to the accutane patient website it usually takes at least 2 months to see real results, but it can be twice that or triple that depending on the variables - EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

I know how you feel, and I have nightmares about never getting rid of my acne - and believe me, it's bad. If you want to talk to someone who understands, ya can PM me or whatevs.

battler :wall:

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thanks aussie, and sorry to others is i seemed like an ass, i didn't really intend to sound angry/mad at YOU people, as much i wanted to just vent, because i never really have about the subject, i don't do hapkido anymore because its summer, and id have a pretty good sweat which was bad for my acne. And i have the worst luck in the world because im always injured so id never be able to go(sprained foot atm, broken arm before, ??? next). So i cant do that to let off steam anymore.

And to the people mad at me for saying that i dont think me and kanmi are the same. I did say were the same, on one level, just that she has it ALOT better than me, thats all, i never said that because shes better that she doesnt have the right to think the same. So, sorry if you saw my post differently than i did?

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