Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
BeccaMarie

Would you have said something???

Recommended Posts

I ran into a guy yesterday that I knew from my freshman year of college (when my face acne was at its worst)

His face was covered in acne; pustules-cysts. Blemishes that had 'heads' weren't white - some had a green tint, others an orange.

I felt *so* badly for him, because I know what he's probably feeling/going through.

The colored tone to his blemishes indicates a pretty strong infection to me (would others agree?)

He kept commenting on how good I look. And while I'm not perfect, I look like a model compared to what I did look like when I knew him.

I wasn't sure if he was gently looking for advice (as in, 'wow, you look good - what did you do'?) or if he was just giving a genuine compliment.

I didn't say anything to him about seeing a derm. My guess is, he isn't on anti-biotics, and probably should be. But of course, I don't know for sure and I didn't want to embarass him.

I gave him my new phone number, so hopefully he'll call...

I didn't know what to say, and I feel like no matter what I did or didn't say, it was wrong....

Would you have said anything???

~Becca

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Grow_To_Overthrow

I know you probably have good intentions but parts of that post come across as very insensitive.

He might be on Anti's, but from the sounds of the severity, they wont do a great deal IMO.

Accutane is probably quite appropriate. Maybe have a heart to heart with him, and let him know that you can understand what he's going through. Then talk about Accutane. He may very well be in the loop already.

Let's not goand refer to severe acne as gross, not the best thing to publicise in an online acne forum. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know you probably have good intentions but parts of that post come across as very insensitive.

He might be on Anti's, but from the sounds of the severity, they wont do a great deal IMO.

Accutane is probably quite appropriate. Maybe have a heart to heart with him, and let him know that you can understand what he's going through. Then talk about Accutane. He may very well be in the loop already.

Let's not goand refer to severe acne as gross, not the best thing to publicise in an online acne forum. ;)

I didn't mean to insult anyone at all... I have never seen acne with heads that weren't white, my heart broke for the guy - because he is genuinely a *great* guy.

I would have no problem referring to some of my acne issues as gross. My back is quite honestly disgusting.

Again, I didn't mean to offend - just being realistic.

~Becca

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rule # 1 of acne, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ACNE

Rule #2 of acne, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ACNE

I learned in my life than when someone has acne, its best not to talk about it, even if you think you are helping, just dont mention it ever! It will only make them feel worse, trust me. If he mentions it to you, thats fine, but dont bring it up to him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

half the people on this org always do a new post saying oo someone told me that i needed to do somthing about my acne but what those people say to them is stop eating pizza or somthign that isnt helpfull at all. atleast what u would of said to this guy if u would of said somthing would of actually helped him cus who knows maybe he doesnt know anything about topicals at all and all he knows about is clearisil products wich suck.

i think you should tell himt that there are products out there that can help but only after u start talking to him a little more cus i would be like wtf if someone walked up to me randomly and said that but after i started to get to know them i wouldnet take it so much as an insult as i would o there trying to hep me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i would stay quiet until he asks for advice, then you both would feel comfortable about talking about acne. If you just mentioned acne to him, i think he would feel being attacked and not you trying to help him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i think its best if you wait for him to bring it up. otherwise, dont mention anyhting abt it. or it will get awkard for him. anyway, who knows, he could already be taking action against the acne. maybe hes in the initial breakout stage of accutane? its a bit presumptious for you to think that he needs your advice. just because its gotten that severe does not mean hes ignorant about how to take care of his skin and what works or not, etc. im sure he's researched it plenty on the internet, just like the rest of us on this site.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

so i guess its better to let someone suffer from acne and not do anything about it. then to tell someone and embarrass them for about 5 mins tops makes since.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

so i guess its better to let someone suffer from acne and not do anything about it. then to tell someone and embarrass them for about 5 mins tops makes since.

yeah you make sense... Your not gonna clear someones acne up with your advice ok buddy. Its not like she could tell him the magic secret to clearing acne. Nothing she tells him will improve his acne. So she might as well not mention it. Only thing that can help him is if he sees a derm, and he doesn't need her to tell him derms exist.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

damn if you would of read what i was saying. this kid could be using clearsil wich has got to be the worse acne product in the world and maybe he doesnt know anything about a derm or any products out there that are better. and id rather get advice from someone whos been through the samething then from someone who hasnt. and maybe he doesnt give a shit about it that much cus if she used to have acne and he knew she did u would think he would be like wow ur skin looks really good how did you do it. and i didnt say it would magicly clear it up but it sure would help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Rule # 1 of acne, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ACNE

Rule #2 of acne, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ACNE

I learned in my life than when someone has acne, its best not to talk about it, even if you think you are helping, just dont mention it ever! It will only make them feel worse, trust me. If he mentions it to you, thats fine, but dont bring it up to him.

i agree :wacko:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please dont say anything to this poor guy. I hate it when people try to give me advice. I know they mean well, but its just so embarressing for me.

i totally agree. I hate it when people say "have you tried proactiv?" i have gotten that over 10 times. if my mom is around, she'll just smile and tell them "proactiv is a piece of shit" hah i love my mom

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rule # 1 of acne, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ACNE

Rule #2 of acne, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT ACNE

I learned in my life than when someone has acne, its best not to talk about it, even if you think you are helping, just dont mention it ever! It will only make them feel worse, trust me. If he mentions it to you, thats fine, but dont bring it up to him.

I agree with him. I've had people offer advice to me and I just feel really embarassed. I would never get mad at them for it because they are only trying to help, but it is quite embarassing. I think a lot of acne sufferers feel more comfortable talking about it when they bring it up themselves. That's how I am. If I don't bring it up, it means I don't feel comfortable talking about it. That guy may be the same way.

To the original poster: It's nice of you to want to help him, though. :) Hopefully he'll find a good treatment to clear his skin and he'll feel better about himself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea trust me, bringing it up will only cause more harm then good. Because it will make him feel like his face is that bad where people notice it and have to act like its serious enough for them to offer help. Trust me, only talk about it if he brings it up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea trust me, bringing it up will only cause more harm then good. Because it will make him feel like his face is that bad where people notice it and have to act like its serious enough for them to offer help. Trust me, only talk about it if he brings it up.

Yepp agreed. But in order for him to have the guts to bring it up, you need to be good friends. He has to know that he can trust you and all that...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea trust me, bringing it up will only cause more harm then good. Because it will make him feel like his face is that bad where people notice it and have to act like its serious enough for them to offer help. Trust me, only talk about it if he brings it up.

Yepp agreed. But in order for him to have the guts to bring it up, you need to be good friends. He has to know that he can trust you and all that...

agreed with most people on this thread. I only talk about my acne with people I am -completely- comfortable with, otherwise it can be very awkward. If he wants to talk about it, he will bring it up, and if he asks for advice, go ahead and tell him maybe seeing a derm would help, but definately wait until he asks.

-Sarah

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

acne problems are each our own.. be supportive and address the issue only if he wants to talk about it and has made it clear (i.e. asked about it)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please dont say anything to this poor guy. I hate it when people try to give me advice. I know they mean well, but its just so embarressing for me.

damn right !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If It were me I Probably wouldn't say anything or, If I really wanted to give him advice after he said how good you looked i would have been like " oh thanks, i went to the dermatologist and it has really helped", or something like that so you aren't telling him directly that he should go get help but you are letting him know what has worked for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×