Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
notsoshyguy

My co-worker humiliated me in front of everyone!

Hello. I didn't want to talk about this with anyone, but I don't know what to do. It is bothering me so much! A co-worker of mine that is supposed to be my friend humiliated me in front of everyone yesterday at work. I still can't believe she said that. I was getting ready to help a customer, and all of a sudden I heard, "I wouldn't want to see _____ (my name) withouth makeup" and then I heard the worst....giggles! She said it so loud that when I heard it, I kind of paused my walking from being shocked at what I had just heard, and then I kept walking. At that moment I wanted to disappear forever.

Just so you know, I am a guy that wears makeup because I can't go out of my house without it. I hate wearing it, but that is what keeps me from staying home.

Now I don't know what to do. Should I confront her or should I talk to my manager? Just keep in mind that this girl is supposed to be someone I thought I got along with.

Now because of her comment, I am so traumatized that I don't want to eat. I think it will trigger my anorexia!!!!!! (Rolls eyes)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, do you wear a lot of makeup or just some concealer. Maybe you can put on a little less and just say it's acne medicine if anyone asks.

As far as her comment, that's kind of messed up. She must have really wanted to hurt you to say that. Either that or she wanted to insinuate that you wear too much that's noticeable and you should wear less. What did you do to her to make her say that?

I think you should just ask her what the deal is and why she did it. Talk it out and I'm sure things will work themselves out. Don't worry about it to much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i think the bigger problem is ur a guy that wears makeup and suffers from anorexia.

its a weird sort of sexual identity issue. and if ur hedersexual, that may be wats the subconcious issue here.

food for thought, im just putting it out there

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

im the complete opposite when i get upset i eat food and you stop eating. i would never talk to her about it because i would be afraid of what she would say but im sure your boss will not put you down, so go and talk to him about it.

OH Yeah i broke a 100 posts. not that great but im proud of myself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only use liquid foundation, the color of my skin. I use the kind that isn't oily. I was actually told it looks good on me.

Anyway, her comment is messed up, but I don't get why she would try to hurt me. I haven't done anything to her. In fact, I'm always the one that she goes to whenever she wants to vent.

By the way, the problem here is not that I am a guy that wears make up or that I suffer from anorexia. I don't suffer from it, but since I know food makes me break out, I don't want to eat anymore! I am gay, but I don't use make up because I am gay, I use it because of my skin. If I was straight, I'd still use it because I can't go out of my house looking like I do without it. Trust me, I wish I didn't have to wear it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only use liquid foundation, the color of my skin. I use the kind that isn't oily. I was actually told it looks good on me.

Anyway, her comment is messed up, but I don't get why she would try to hurt me. I haven't done anything to her. In fact, I'm always the one that she goes to whenever she wants to vent.

By the way, the problem here is not that I am a guy that wears make up or that I suffer from anorexia. I don't suffer from it, but since I know food makes me break out, I don't want to eat anymore! I am gay, but I don't use make up because I am gay, I use it because of my skin. If I was straight, I'd still use it because I can't go out of my house looking like I do without it. Trust me, I wish I didn't have to wear it!

how old are you and her?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

shes a 19 yr old chick and 99% of them have attitudes.

you shouldnt be so hung up about a girl barely out of highschool when ur 25. Focus on your life and your relationships. And getting a job that doesnt employ 19 yr old girls.

honestly all guys can really do is focus on their careers and shrug off all the crap in the world

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What hurts me more is that she humiliated me in front of everyone. If she would have been more discrete, I probably wouldn't feel so bad. I mean, everyone at work heard!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In the long run it could be benificial as its out in the open so your not wandering if people are noticing it or not. maybe you would be better off toucjing up areas rather than a whole are and blending it into the skin.

I would just descretly joke to her 'yeh you wouldnt want to see me without make up on' laugh and walk away just so she knows you know what she said.

Some people just cant help but be snide and say stuff to feel like they are above someonw - fcuk it she's 19 female and generally are stupid.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What hurts me more is that she humiliated me in front of everyone. If she would have been more discrete, I probably wouldn't feel so bad. I mean, everyone at work heard!!!!!!

ya but the the thing is they probably know you two are somewhat close.

so ya know what they were thinking, even though some might have been giggling?

what a bitch this girl is.

and they dont think any less of you, probably puts you in a better light if anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Think of it this way. The bitch has shown her true colors to anyone who is an actual human being in your workplace. You can bet there will be a backlash.

Hold on and hold your head up. Fuck her and what she says.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, maybe if she knows your gay, she probably thought you wouldn't care. I believe the statement would have been worse if you were straight.

I'm a guy, and I wear some concealer. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I don't use enough to be noticeable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah it sucks. They do know we are close. We even freaking went to eat together for lunch with another co-worker yesterday. It was something that we had planned together earlier that day. Anyway, I don't think I can talk to her the same way anymore though. I won't know until I talk to her tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The problem that I have with her statement is not that she said I wear make up. My problem is that she said she didn't want to see me without it. In other words, she said that I probably looked fucked up without it.

I'm sorry but being humiliated and actually being annoyed by it is not making it a big deal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

man, im so sorry that that had to happen to you. nothing will come of dwelling on it (although its all we can do sometimes), so you just need to say "fuck that bitch" and eat something. shes just a dumb teenager. im about your age and i know how it feels to have younger people assume that theres something wrong with you if you havent already "outgrown" acne. im sure you are a handsome guy and have alot to offer. find a way to get past this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i dont really see what the big deal is. i get made fun of by my friends all the time. i think you should just not let it get to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i dont really see what the big deal is. i get made fun of by my friends all the time. i think you should just not let it get to you.

I agree. :whistle:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would understand if I messed around like that with her, but she is not my friend (obviously not). She is my co-worker. I don't even talk to her outside of work.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Coworkers are like family - love or hate 'em, you are forced to spend signifigant chunks of your day with them. And that can really make or break your day. It's not always so easy to brush off basterd co-workers.

If you don't think you'll get a decent response from a heart to heart with her, try talking to a higher up about it. And if you don't think that will work, the only thing you can do, though, is try to brush her off.

But keep venting, that's what we're here for.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my advice:

1. dont complain to the boss about this. im definitely not discounting your feelings here, but this is not severe enough to warrant a complaint (eg sexual harrasment, bullying etc). unless your boss has major acne and can relate, then this course of action will most likely get you taken less seriously and if that bitch finds out she will have more ammo to use against you.

2. i wouldn't worry that other people heard it, i expect that as a result of this they will think less of her and empathise with you anyway - she is an insensitive bitch to say something like that and most people would see it this way.

3. the worst thing you can do is let her think it hurt you. she wants a reaction. if you can (appear) to brush it off, or not care, or ideally defuse the comments with humour then she will have 'failed'. people like her need to put others down to feel good about themselves due to their own insecurities

4. eat! seriously. not eating is definitely not an option here. besides you have been hurt enough why would you want to aggravate this emotional damage with the physical damage of starving your body of what it needs to function?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Think of it this way. The bitch has shown her true colors to anyone who is an actual human being in your workplace. You can bet there will be a backlash.

Hold on and hold your head up. Fuck her and what she says.

couldn't have said it any better.

if the makeup makes you feel better, continue to use it. And your coworker seems pretty arrogant to have said such an unnecessary hurtful joke. screw her because she obviously gets high off bringing ppl down. she doesn't deserve your attention. i think you should concentrate on your work, don't let this comment change yourself or make you unhappy, because nothing should compromise your happiness. ( i recently learned this too) continue to do a kick ass job at work because that is the important thing here, and as for "ex-fiend" just think of as a pathetic, immature girl who hasn't left the superficial phase from her pathetic adolescence.

gluck to you. : )P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree this person has shown her true colors and people will remember this.

As for feeling humiliated.... (to quote my own sig )

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

I've learned bullies will soon tire of you if you don't give them what they want - A REACTION.

They need to see others feel bad so they can feel better about themselves. If you show that the comment's don't bother you, typically neither will they.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×