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Being a male, I am supposed to provide security, financial support (breadwinner), and order in the relationship. I find this extremely hard to do with social anxiety and acne. Insecurity is a biggie. If I'm not confident/comfortable with myself, how will I be able to offer anything good in a relationship? For some reason, I think women have it easier. They can play the "victim" while we come and "rescue" them without being scrutinized. Men are also expected to do all the initiating:

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you"

This was a conversation I had with a girl over the phone recently. Pathetic. Needless to say, we never ended up hanging out. Why? First of all, I can't think of anything to do because, well, I don't do anything! Second, I don't have any friends around here. I do everything alone, and I'm used to it. I don't know how to entertain anyone but myself. :(

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i usually go to the movies or dinner but that gets boring. i know what your talking about though with the whole protection thing. i tell girls right off the bat if were ever in danger you better run and not trip because im real fast and i wont go back for you because i dont lift weights i workout on the treadmill.

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Being a male, I am supposed to provide security, financial support (breadwinner), and order in the relationship. I find this extremely hard to do with social anxiety and acne. Insecurity is a biggie. If I'm not confident/comfortable with myself, how will I be able to offer anything good in a relationship? For some reason, I think women have it easier. They can play the "victim" while we come and "rescue" them without being scrutinized. Men are also expected to do all the initiating:

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you"

This was a conversation I had with a girl over the phone recently. Pathetic. Needless to say, we never ended up hanging out. Why? First of all, I can't think of anything to do because, well, I don't do anything! Second, I don't have any friends around here. I do everything alone, and I'm used to it. I don't know how to entertain anyone but myself. :(

That's the way it is. Next time take charge and say let's go out to play miniature golf then dinner. :ninja:

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i usually go to the movies or dinner but that gets boring. i know what your talking about though with the whole protection thing. i tell girls right off the bat if were ever in danger you better run and not trip because im real fast and i wont go back for you because i dont lift weights i workout on the treadmill.

lol

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I don't do a whole lot either but there's always stuff to do, unless you live in a little rural village or something. Movies, lunch/dinner, drinking (one of my faves ;) ), going to the beach etc...

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Hey, I know what you're dealing with. . . My last girlfriend was my complete opposite. She always wanted to go places, be with people, hang out anywhere as long as it wasn't at her place or mine. For me, I'm more of a stay-at-home kind of guy (could be partially cuz of acne) and the stuff I do is really just for me - working on my car, painting (I'm an artist), researching stuff on the internet, reading, whatever as long as it was at my place or hers. :S

It didn't cut it. So now I'm looking for a girl who's a stay-at-home like me.

BUT while I was dating her I learned a few things. . .

First, if you want to hang out with a girl, always have a plan. go on the internet, Yahoo Local, or some other similar site, and search for places in your area. Find a restaurant, a park, an antique shop, a pottery barn, whatever. . . you'll probably find tons of options before you know it.

Second, always have a back-up. Know about a few things you can do in case she's high maintenence and decided she doesn't like something. Then dump her. When in doubt, or if the evening's going to long, you can always cut out part of your plan. Better to be overprepared then underprepared. (and of course, end the date at your place with a movie that you've both already seen. :)

Third, NEVER ask a girl what she wants to do. She ALWAYS wants you to decide. Of course, once you decide, she'll most likely have something to say about it. :/

And Fourth, I'm sure you do SOMETHING. . . analyze what you really like to do and look for girls who do the same stuff. Interests, hobbies, whatever you do to entertain yourself, there's probably a girl somewhere who likes the same kinda stuff and won't require you to do as much outside your comfort zone.

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Guest Spike Rules89

Basically if my dinner isn't cooked when I get home she can sleep on the couch.

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Guest yoyoma

Basically if my dinner isn't cooked when I get home she can sleep on the couch.

:wub: you're very romantic :wub:

by the way- I won't be surprised at all, if pretty girls throw themselves at you...the more bad boys you are, the more they're crazy about you or so I've heard :think:

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Guest Spike Rules89

Basically if my dinner isn't cooked when I get home she can sleep on the couch.

:wub: you're very romantic :wub:

by the way- I won't be surprised at all, if pretty girls throw themselves at you...the more bad boys you are, the more they're crazy about you or so I've heard :think:

I try :cool:

but a lot of girls are atrracted to a holes

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Third, NEVER ask a girl what she wants to do. She ALWAYS wants you to decide. Of course, once you decide, she'll most likely have something to say about it. :/

Oh wow, this is so very true....

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Guest yoyoma

all confidence is is: taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out, and always looking everyone in the eye.

That's almost the same as tantric Yoga or Pre-labor midwife exercise :think:

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Those gender rules you listed sound like from a worker's life in 50s and 60s. Pathetic.

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all confidence is is: taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out, and always looking everyone in the eye.

That's almost the same as tantric Yoga or Pre-labor midwife exercise :think:

Haha - Zing.

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Those gender rules you listed sound like from a worker's life in 50s and 60s. Pathetic.

I agree. Where do you find those women...or girls I suppose it is.

I would be annoyed as hell if my bf thought he had to financially support me, create order in the relationship and decide what to do and when to do it. Not much of a partnership me thinks.

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i usually go to the movies or dinner but that gets boring. i know what your talking about though with the whole protection thing. i tell girls right off the bat if were ever in danger you better run and not trip because im real fast and i wont go back for you because i dont lift weights i workout on the treadmill.

lmao love it!

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That's so funny cause its true! Usually if a guy asks me what I wanna do, I do say I don't know because I don't go out much, I like to stay at home AND I'm not used to entertaining others~

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I find very little joy in doing anything, so I immediately invite chicks to my awesome pad. The huge montage of pictures I cut out from books, magazines, etc. on my bedroom wall above my twin-sized bed is enough to reduce their inhibitions.

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Girls like a guy who can make a decision. So why not suggest a movie and dinner? Those are always easy, and at the movies it's dark so you don't have to be worried about her staring at you. My bf is VERY indecisive and it seems I am always making the decisions. Sometimes it really pisses me off, but other times I don't care. So next time step up to the plate and take her to a movie or dinner.

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