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I don't have friends to talk about this with so I am bringing it up here with all of you kind people. I started taking this conversational Spanish class and right away I noticed this good looking girl. She seemed to smile at me too and she was friendly. We started making eye contact in class. I feel drawn to her in class, like I want to look too much. Strangely, I could have sworn she was looking at me too. I walked her to the bus stop after class one day and she seemed fine with that. She's also good at Spanish.

So I thought I'd ask her for coffee, but she actually told me she has a boyfriend :confused: . She told me that she finds me attractive and is sorry that she might have given me positive signals. I respect that she turned me down, but I still think she really likes me too and that we should be together. I don't know- it's this weird gut feeling. Of course I won't contact her again, but I'm kinda depressed about the whole thing. I rarely feel such a strong connection to someone like that.

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Well, for right now you're just left with the option of being a good friend. Talk with her more often but don't give off the wrong impression since she does have a boyfriend. As much as I'd like to say that no one is "taken" unless marriage comes into the equation, respect the fact that she's currently in a relationship. Make it so that she has fun around you. Be flirty but keep it subtle ya know? Who knows? She may break up with her boyfriend and go straight to you. Haha. :)

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man, i liked a girl i was good frinds with, she took another guy, i felt really shitty because i thought for sure we would go out (she asked me to go on the roller coaster at west edmonton mall and we ended up going to that waterpark after). after that we hardly spoke, but i thought for sure she liked me, we kept making eye contact but in the end it all meant nothing. i liked her a lot and the heartbreak was more than i could take, try not to get too into her because if you do, anytime you see her sitting on her boyfriends lap, or making out with him, you will feel like killing yourself.

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Sometimes girls like to play games. It sounds like she was just having fun with you. I say go out with her, bone her really well, and she'll love you for it. :cool:

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Sometimes girls like to play games. It sounds like she was just having fun with you. I say go out with her, bone her really well, and she'll love you for it. :cool:

What advice! :D Anyway, it's not "sometimes" girls like to play games. It's all the time. It can be a thrill and an annoyance all in one.

It kinda sucks being led on like that (alot of people can sympathize) but forget about it and move on. If she ever ends up breaking with her bf and contacts you and you still have feelings for her, go for it. If not, who cares.

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Sometimes girls like to play games. It sounds like she was just having fun with you. I say go out with her, bone her really well, and she'll love you for it. :cool:

What advice! :D Anyway, it's not "sometimes" girls like to play games. It's all the time. It can be a thrill and an annoyance all in one.

It kinda sucks being led on like that (alot of people can sympathize) but forget about it and move on. If she ever ends up breaking with her bf and contacts you and you still have feelings for her, go for it. If not, who cares.

I don't think she led me on honestly. She was just as nice to me as she was to the females in the class. It's my fault I guess for falling in love with her.

She did say she found me attractive and that's why she may have sent me signals unintentionally.

I don't think she plays games in a malicious way. She's a very sweet girl. That's one of the things that attracted me to her.

Treat her to a drink

But that would be like a date and she would turn me down like she did when I asked her out for coffee.

man, i liked a girl i was good frinds with, she took another guy, i felt really shitty because i thought for sure we would go out (she asked me to go on the roller coaster at west edmonton mall and we ended up going to that waterpark after). after that we hardly spoke, but i thought for sure she liked me, we kept making eye contact but in the end it all meant nothing. i liked her a lot and the heartbreak was more than i could take, try not to get too into her because if you do, anytime you see her sitting on her boyfriends lap, or making out with him, you will feel like killing yourself.

Yeah, you know about the eye contact thing. Sometimes I would stare at this girl and she could sort of sense it so she'd look at me too. What's a girl supposed to do- ignore the guy completely while he's staring her down?

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I don't think she led me on honestly. She was just as nice to me as she was to the females in the class. It's my fault I guess for falling in love with her.

She did say she found me attractive and that's why she may have sent me signals unintentionally.

I don't think she plays games in a malicious way. She's a very sweet girl. That's one of the things that attracted me to her.

Don't be so naive about girls, seriously. You have much to learn and learn it fast or it'll be hard for you to pick up. She likes you, led you on, wanted you to ask her out just so she can say no because that's what turns her on.

From now on, don't look at her at all in class anymore, and basically do not initiate conversation. If she talks to you, then talk to her back but treat her like anyone else. Almost ignore her. She will like you even more and probably will want to go out with you then.

You have to play the game. If you don't, then you're left out. Nice guys finish last. :ninja:

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I don't have friends to talk about this with so I am bringing it up here with all of you kind people. I started taking this conversational Spanish class and right away I noticed this good looking girl. She seemed to smile at me too and she was friendly. We started making eye contact in class. I feel drawn to her in class, like I want to look too much. Strangely, I could have sworn she was looking at me too. I walked her to the bus stop after class one day and she seemed fine with that. She's also good at Spanish.

So I thought I'd ask her for coffee, but she actually told me she has a boyfriend :confused: . She told me that she finds me attractive and is sorry that she might have given me positive signals. I respect that she turned me down, but I still think she really likes me too and that we should be together. I don't know- it's this weird gut feeling. Of course I won't contact her again, but I'm kinda depressed about the whole thing. I rarely feel such a strong connection to someone like that.

hey, why cant you still be friends?

Ask her again for coffee sometime, and just say hey I respect that youve got a boyfriend and I'd just like to be friends, you seem like a cool girl.

And who knows if the sexual tension hits a pivital point (cross your fingers) she might dump her guy for you.

But you could at least be friends

taps advice is stupid, dont listen to it.

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Don't be so naive about girls, seriously. You have much to learn and learn it fast or it'll be hard for you to pick up. She likes you, led you on, wanted you to ask her out just so she can say no because that's what turns her on.

From now on, don't look at her at all in class anymore, and basically do not initiate conversation. If she talks to you, then talk to her back but treat her like anyone else. Almost ignore her. She will like you even more and probably will want to go out with you then.

You have to play the game. If you don't, then you're left out. Nice guys finish last. :ninja:

You think she likes me :) ? Well I really hope so, but if she did like me wouldn't she have said yes to my coffee invitation?

BTW, you seem to know alot about the ladies. How did she play a game anyway. She was just nice to me. Was she supposed to tell me that she had a boyfriend the minute we met or wear some kind of wedding ring? Maybe she didn't really know that I was crushing on her until I actually asked her out...she doesn't seem all egotistical with assumptions that all guys want her.

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she said no to coffee because shes not naive about guys intentions. And she wants to stay faithful to her boyfriend so shes obviously a nice girl.

But relationships dont last forever. And if you think she should be with you. Follow my advice. ^

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she said no to coffee because shes not naive about guys intentions. And she wants to stay faithful to her boyfriend so shes obviously a nice girl.

But relationships dont last forever. And if you think she should be with you. Follow my advice. ^

Yeah, you're right that she wants to stay faithful, but I'm surprised she told me that she thinks I'm attractive. Would a really faithful girl really tell other guys that they are attractive?

Knowing my luck, their relationship will last forever :( .

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How did she play a game anyway. She was just nice to me. Was she supposed to tell me that she had a boyfriend the minute we met or wear some kind of wedding ring? Maybe she didn't really know that I was crushing on her until I actually asked her out...she doesn't seem all egotistical with assumptions that all guys want her.

You made eye contact with her throughout your classes you said, and you thought she was staring at you too. The fact that she was "flirting" this way says that she likes you and led you on, only to not go out with you. She knew you had a crush on her. Girls always know when a guy likes them but they play stupid as if they don't know.

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You'll get used to such turn downs over time. WHat's more important you'll also understand that having a boyfriend doesnt have to stop the girl from having friends. Being a friend is a good position. From there you can progress into something more intimate.

That is my experience.

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Thanks for your advice, guys. This is really helpful :) .

Okay...so here's what happened at my most recent spanish class....

Knowing that she has a boyfriend I was friendly, but I didn't walk her to the bus stop or anything. She gave me some nice smiles, but I got the feeling she was sad for some reason. It seemed like she missed my attention, but I can't be sure.

She's so cute, but it looks like she's losing weight. I guess I still really dig her. This is all making me depressed and now I have a big cyst developing on my back, yay :(

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I've been in this girl's position before. For me, I just get along better with guys; I always have. Unfortunately, some of my male friends wanted something more than just friendship even though I never viewed them in the romantic sense, not to mention that I already have a boyfriend.

It's not some sick twisted game that your crush is playing (well, I hope not); she probably is just a friendly person who wants someone fun to talk to. If that's the case, "No" means "No." It's not healthy for you to want what you can't have, and it's not healthy for her to feel guilty about your feelings toward her, leaving her to wonder if she unintentionally "led you on."

I know it's hard, but really, try to move on. She's not interested in the kind of relationship you're looking for. If she's as sweet a girl as she sounds, I'm sure she'll have no trouble making other friends.

Also, do you want this girl to breakup with her boyfriend, when you really think about it? I mean, breakups suck, whether you're the "dumper" or the "dumpee." Unless her boyfriend is abusive, just let things stand as they are if she seems happy.

PS

Here's a possible explanation as to why this girl said that you were attractive: She might have said that you were attractive while turning down your proposed date because she didn't want you to feel too badly about it; like you weren't date-worthy or something.

Here's a possible explanation as to why the girl seemed sad: She might be sad from thinking that you only wanted to hang out with her because she was "cute." Or she could have just been having a bad day.

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I've been in this girl's position before. For me, I just get along better with guys; I always have. Unfortunately, some of my male friends wanted something more than just friendship even though I never viewed them in the romantic sense, not to mention that I already have a boyfriend.

It's not some sick twisted game that your crush is playing (well, I hope not); she probably is just a friendly person who wants someone fun to talk to. If that's the case, "No" means "No." It's not healthy for you to want what you can't have, and it's not healthy for her to feel guilty about your feelings toward her, leaving her to wonder if she unintentionally "led you on."

I know it's hard, but really, try to move on. She's not interested in the kind of relationship you're looking for. If she's as sweet a girl as she sounds, I'm sure she'll have no trouble making other friends.

Also, do you want this girl to breakup with her boyfriend, when you really think about it? I mean, breakups suck, whether you're the "dumper" or the "dumpee." Unless her boyfriend is abusive, just let things stand as they are if she seems happy.

PS

Here's a possible explanation as to why this girl said that you were attractive: She might have said that you were attractive while turning down your proposed date because she didn't want you to feel too badly about it; like you weren't date-worthy or something.

Here's a possible explanation as to why the girl seemed sad: She might be sad from thinking that you only wanted to hang out with her because she was "cute." Or she could have just been having a bad day.

Yeah, I guess I don't want them to break up, but I wouldn't mind if she cheated on him with me. I know that's a terrible thing to feel, but I feel like if we were together there would be so much passion. I could tell fromt her eyes that she was really attracted to me and I have the feeling she's not that into her boyfriend. I think she's just with him because she honors the commitment she made a long time ago to him.

It's weird, but there is this magnetic feeling I have towards her and it's not just because she's cute. There is something else too, like some astrological or spiritual compatibility. :wub:

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Yeah, I guess I don't want them to break up, but I wouldn't mind if she cheated on him with me. I know that's a terrible thing to feel, but I feel like if we were together there would be so much passion. I could tell fromt her eyes that she was really attracted to me and I have the feeling she's not that into her boyfriend. I think she's just with him because she honors the commitment she made a long time ago to him.

It's weird, but there is this magnetic feeling I have towards her and it's not just because she's cute. There is something else too, like some astrological or spiritual compatibility. :wub:

I don't mean to be a jerk here, but I really doubt that's a deeper kind of love. That's more like puppy love. You're still in high school, I imagine, right? Keep in mind this girl is not the only girl you're going to meet in your life. You will meet HUNDREDS of girls in your life, and by saying that she's the one, at this age, is not really believeable.

Listen, many people don't consider high school relationships that serious. People grow up and start to like different things. Plus, you want to get out there and experience life. As said before, she seems happy in her relationship, and in all honesty, that's very selfish to say that you want her to cheat on her boyfriend with you. There's no way you can tell what she's thinking or how her relationship is with her boyfriend just from the look in her eyes that you described. And if she really wasn't happy in her relationship and wanted out, she would have probably done it already. It will be better for you in the long run not to make assumptions like that, because it can be emotionally draining if you do happen to be let down.

So here's my suggestion to you:

You already asked her out, right? And she said you were attractive, but that doesn't mean that she's attracted to you. If you respect her as much as you say you do, you'd respect her relationship with her boyfriend. Become friends with her. There's nothing wrong with being just friends. Something could evolve from that, but don't get your hopes up.

You have your whole life to find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. At whatever age you are (assuming it's 14-17), that's too young to say that you've found the love of your life, man. You will though, so don't let it get you down. Just enjoy life and don't make it more complicated than it already is.

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Yeah, I guess I don't want them to break up, but I wouldn't mind if she cheated on him with me. I know that's a terrible thing to feel, but I feel like if we were together there would be so much passion. I could tell fromt her eyes that she was really attracted to me and I have the feeling she's not that into her boyfriend. I think she's just with him because she honors the commitment she made a long time ago to him.

It's weird, but there is this magnetic feeling I have towards her and it's not just because she's cute. There is something else too, like some astrological or spiritual compatibility. :wub:

I don't mean to be a jerk here, but I really doubt that's a deeper kind of love. That's more like puppy love. You're still in high school, I imagine, right? Keep in mind this girl is not the only girl you're going to meet in your life. You will meet HUNDREDS of girls in your life, and by saying that she's the one, at this age, is not really believeable.

Listen, many people don't consider high school relationships that serious. People grow up and start to like different things. Plus, you want to get out there and experience life. As said before, she seems happy in her relationship, and in all honesty, that's very selfish to say that you want her to cheat on her boyfriend with you. There's no way you can tell what she's thinking or how her relationship is with her boyfriend just from the look in her eyes that you described. And if she really wasn't happy in her relationship and wanted out, she would have probably done it already. It will be better for you in the long run not to make assumptions like that, because it can be emotionally draining if you do happen to be let down.

So here's my suggestion to you:

You already asked her out, right? And she said you were attractive, but that doesn't mean that she's attracted to you. If you respect her as much as you say you do, you'd respect her relationship with her boyfriend. Become friends with her. There's nothing wrong with being just friends. Something could evolve from that, but don't get your hopes up.

You have your whole life to find the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. At whatever age you are (assuming it's 14-17), that's too young to say that you've found the love of your life, man. You will though, so don't let it get you down. Just enjoy life and don't make it more complicated than it already is.

i totally agree. alot of times guys get so caught up in this "love at first sight" kinda thinking that they get too hung up on one girl. trust me, you will meet alot (and i mean ALOT) of girls in college and beyond and you'll think every girl you see there is "the one" at that point. :lol:

the fact is, you guys are still young and most likely this attraction WILL pass once you see another better looking/better personality girl. it's just how it is. however, if you really want to give this a chance, the best thing to do is don't persue her anymore (like what the previous posts have said). it sounds contradicatory, but it does work. you dont' wanna come off as a needy guy. i mean think about it, if roles were reversed, you wouldn't like a girl that you just rejected to keep on bugging your right? :naughty:

just keep it cool, still talk to her and be a friend, but other than that dude, keep looking around :D

good luck man! :dance:

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i think you need to just ask yourself if you could take her boyfriend in a fight. if so than do whatever you want.

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Actually, I'm not that young. I'm well into my twenties and have had plenty of relationship experience. I'm also a good looking guy even though I have acne- girls are usually interested in me.

Maybe some of you are jaded and believe that choosing a girlfriend is just a matter of going through hundreds of people until just choosing somebody who has all the right qualifications. But this is different. I feel something about her and I can't get her out of my mind. It's like a magnet and no, I don't have obsessive compulsive disorder.

The guy she's with isn't just her boyfriend, but her fiancee so I think she just can't leave him so easily.

I just don't know what to do, but you are all helping me since the friends I have would laugh at me if I told them what I revealed on this forum.

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No more beating around the bush and trying to be nice. It obviously didn't work, so here goes.

Actually, I'm not that young. I'm well into my twenties and have had plenty of relationship experience.

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