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JR86

How can I convince my mom

Ok, So i came home from the derm today and my mom asked if i got any new prescriptions. i told her she gave me a new topical (finacea) and an oral vitamin/mineral to take in addition to the cefalexin(sp) Retin-a and Cleocin T. Then i told her that she wanted to see me back in six weeks and if there was still no improvement i would start accutane. my mom adamantly objected to me taking accutane. She told me it's just skin and it's not worth the risk. she said she saw on the news that someone crashed a plane into a building while on accutane. I explained that there was no accutane actually in his system when that happened, that he only had a prescription. and that the severe side effects only occur in a very small number of people who take the drug. but she didn't care, I'm 19 so i don't really need her permission but she said she would take me off of her health insurance so i couldn't get it. what can I do to make her realize that it's more than "just skin" she never had acne so she doesn't understand how difficult it can be. basically she believes all the horror stories about accutane will happen to me (and the she saw the ipledge book which scared her off even more.) what can i do to convince her that accutane is necessary (if these new treatments fail) and safe if taken properly?

thanks, Jordan

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I don't know that you can convince her... (parent's minds are hard to change...)

Here is what I would do though (if you do end up on accutane)...

I would tell her that as an adult, this is your decision. (point out to your mom what a wonderful daughter she raised, and that it is time for you to make some of these choices on your own)

And then, ask for her support.

Tell her you know some of the side effects may stink, and it isn't the easiest drug to be on, so you would love to have her behind you.

She might not agree with your choice, but she should respect your decision as an adult.

What mom is going to turn down her daughter asking for moral support?

good luck to you!

~Becca

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Thanks Becca, I'll try reasoning with her, also I think i'll bring her to the derm so she can explain to my mom how the process works and that I will be monitored while taking the drug. oh and btw i'm her son, they give men the ipledge book too. (plus i know that rant may have sounded girly) thanks for the advice, and I hope she'll come around.

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Not to sound rude, but maybe your father could help you out.(If he is still in your family. Sorry if he isn't)

he is still in the family, but he happens to be out of town on business. he comes back next week but I don't know if he'll be much help. he'd probably take my mom side be cause she'll tell him about all the horrible things accutane will do to me. but, it's worth a try. I'll talk to him about it.

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Check out a post by rebelsgirl made a couple of months or so back. She is the mom of a 16 year old guy (I think) and was concerned about putting him on A. Print out the responses and give 'em to your mom.

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well, I had exactly the same problem, my mom made it as hard as she could for me to get on tane (like it wasnt already hard enough already) and when I managed it without any of her help or funding (I went private without insurance) all she did was tell me that i was stupid, mad, shortsighted, childish etc..

However, I would try to show your parents that of anyone in your house you are surely the best informed about its side effects, and you fear them most, or at least you will be the one suffering. Show them that it wasnt a decision taken lightly, and that tane is absolutely necessary (if it is) for your life to proceed in a normal way.

I won over my dad by a similar argument, I basically said that unless i got this drug, there was no guarantee that he would have a son in six months time, which wasnt an overstatement in my opinion.

Its tricky, keep calm, parents are shit. Amen.

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have your father beat her for being neurotic.

tell her you'd much rather develop bad scarring and become the phantom of the opera

threaten suicide if she doesn't approve

paint pimples all over her face everyday and see how long she can go to work like that.

your moms an idiot

accutane is a miracle. its been an antidepressent for me.

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Hi, Jordan. I'm the mom of the 16 year old who started accutane 48 day s ago. I was leary of him starting too but I'm so glad I listen to the doctor and read up on the medication. It WAS scary to think of my child going on it, but I knew he was in pain and I HAD to do something. I read about the boy who crashed the plane and they blamed it on Accutane. If I remember correctly, there wasn't actually ANY accutane in his system. Try to google it for your mom and print it out.

Here is what we've been thru on accutane.

Week one: Headaches

Week two:headaches, stomach aches

Week three: Headaches stomach aches, joint aches and moodiness.

Those were the worst of his symptoms by far. As the medication got into his blood and he got used to it, all those symptoms disappeared.

Between then and now, he's experience dry skin, lips and mouth. He had a small initial breakout, I say small because it was nothing compared to how he normally broke out before the 'tane. He's IB has gone, where his skin has cleared it's like baby skin. So soft! He is still photo sensitive so he's stayed out of the sun most the summer.

We're on Day 48 today and his face has visibly improved. His self confidence is up! His doctor was amazed at the progress he's made in 48 days. He still has some cyst but they've gone down quite a bit since starting the med. Also he may get cortizone injections next month when he goes back if they haven't visibly improved in a month

All I can say is keep an eye on how your feeling. If you can tolerate the side effects, in the long run you will be glad you did.

I hope your mom can see the light and how acne effects you. The med may be dangerous to some, but I think with a close eye and honesty to yourself, you would be ok. I think acne, in the long run would have been more detrimental to my child than the medication.

Let your mom know how painful it is to you, physically, emotionally and mentally. It's NOT just skin.

Parents scare easily. It's not a sign she doesn't care. It's just a sign she is afraid for you. Let her know there is nothing to fear as long as the doctor monitors you closely, which he will. If she would like to talk, just have her email me. The medicine works, or it has for us. I'm glad I didn't let the goverment scare me away from helping my child.

Just be honest with her. Let her know how much pain your in. Hopefully she will come around. Good luck Jordan!

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Hey Jordan19, I was in your same situation. Although my mom finally gave in. Take a look at this it may help you--------------------Parents approval of Accutane

Plus show her some of the Accutane logs and how well some of them went. And tell her that this will deffinately stop your acne!! Not like the other stuff. This is guarunteed!!!!!

--And show some of the gallery pics.

;;;;;;Good Luck;;;;;; Chris

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Thanks everyone for the good tips. I'm sure my mom will come around If I do have to resort to accutane (we'll see in six weeks).

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i feel ur pain man. My mom hates drugs all together... she believes in natural healing, but when u start to grow acne for 3 years...it's not so natural....

i have student insurance...thank god...so i don't need to let her know

just explain to her and provide as much positive info u can...she'll come around. cry and beg...anything....accutane is the only thing that can actually cure acne

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I've struggled with acne for years. I've experimented with different regimens and cleansers. I tried most of the home remedies and over-the-counters. I was prescribed every topical cream and gel. I even went for laser and long term antibiotics.

Looking back on the last TEN YEARS I view all that stuff as a waste of time and money. Few helped, and most made it worse. At best, a select few kept acne "under control" but the persistence of the lesions lead to scarring.

But then I found Isotretinoin (accutane). I had to do my own research. Dermatologist after dermatologist never made mention of it?. Yet they prescribed long-term antibiotics and lasers for God's sake! (BTW, the side effects of these are far worse than my Isotretinoin.)

There is FAR too much NEGATIVE HYPE surrounding this drug. It took me a year to decide to go on it; during which time I was burned by laser "therapy." I'm now in month-two of my five month dose. My acne is greatly reduced and pimples I do get are smaller and heal in a day or two (without scarring).

My face is much less oily. My pores are smaller. The blackheads are gone. The only side effect is dry lips and to a lesser extent dry face. Both are easily remedied and far less of a side effect than some cleansers I tried.

For 60 percent of patients Isotretinoin puts their acne into prolonged remission (years). Of that 60 percent, 90 percent are CURED for life. Patients that do not respond from one treatment course can be put on a second, third, and even fourth round. The percentage of acne remission goes up with each course of Isotretinoin. So the odds are it will CURE you.

It took me 9 years to find out about Isotretinoin (accutane) and another 1 to decide to go on it. I really think Isotretinoin should be given as a prophylactic at puberty. Especially in those who have a family history of acne in parents or older siblings.

There is no excuse for CHILDREN to go through what I did. My "moderate/persistent, papular/pustular acne" was a daily torment. It kept me from dating and making friends. It lead to obsessive compulsive behavior regarding clean sheets, handwashing, face touching, mirrors, etc.

I was even afraid to go to sleep at night for fear of waking up with fresh crop of zits. My mood deteriorated. I became depressed and at worst suicidal.

Of course I couldn't tell my dermatologist any of this. I'd never have been prescribed the WONDER DRUG. But I as I suspected, Isotretinoin indirectly acted as an ANTIDEPRESSANT. It gave me initial hope after so many let downs. And now finally, the acne is clearing. I am a completely different person. I have a life again. Thanks to Isotretinoin.

Sadly, the iPLEDGE program is now making it more difficult to obtain the drug. It violates patient privacy laws. There are impractical regulations you, your doctor, the blood lab, the pharmacy, and the iPLEDGE processing center must coordinate with. There is usually a gap of 3 days at the end of every month during which you will be unable to get your medication. It can be weeks if your pharmacy has to order the correct dosage or become "iPLEDGE registered."

I can't stress enough how important early intervention is. If I was put on Isotretinoin even as late as 2-3 years into my acne I would not have scarring now.

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DO IT! YOU ARE A GROWN MAN YOU DONT NEED YOUR PARENTS PERMISSION. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES NOW THAT YOU ARE AN ADULT.

SHIT MY MOM NEVER WANTED MY SISTER JOINING PEACE COR. SHE DID ANWAY. MY MOM DOESNT WANT ME RIDING A MOTORCYCLE. I WILL ANYWAY.

YOU WANT TO RID YOUR ACNE? THIS IS YOUR BEST SHOT AT IT.

IF YOU ARE NOT A DEPRESSED OR SUICIDAL PERSON I DONT THINK YOU WILL KILL YOURSELF IN ANWAY. MOST OF THESE REPORTERS WHO WRITE STORIES ABOUT THE DEATHS' OF ACCUTANE USERS DONT HAVE A DAMN CLUE ABOUT THE VICTIMS PAST HISTORY.

HERE IS YOUR CHANCE. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

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DO IT! YOU ARE A GROWN MAN YOU DONT NEED YOUR PARENTS PERMISSION. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES NOW THAT YOU ARE AN ADULT.

SHIT MY MOM NEVER WANTED MY SISTER JOINING PEACE COR. SHE DID ANWAY. MY MOM DOESNT WANT ME RIDING A MOTORCYCLE. I WILL ANYWAY.

YOU WANT TO RID YOUR ACNE? THIS IS YOUR BEST SHOT AT IT.

IF YOU ARE NOT A DEPRESSED OR SUICIDAL PERSON I DONT THINK YOU WILL KILL YOURSELF IN ANWAY. MOST OF THESE REPORTERS WHO WRITE STORIES ABOUT THE DEATHS' OF ACCUTANE USERS DONT HAVE A DAMN CLUE ABOUT THE VICTIMS PAST HISTORY.

HERE IS YOUR CHANCE. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

IT'S NOT THAT EASY. I ALSO THINK YOUR CAPS LOCK IS ON....He said his mother will take him off of her insurance, and that means he won't be able to get on accutane nor be able to go to his gen doc if he is sick. It also takes time to find a job and get health insurance if he wants accutane.

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Just thought i'd give you all an update. I just talked to my mom about accutane again (I hadn't mentioned it since I first made this topic.) and she seemed to be less against it, well she still is kind of, but she's not going to try and stop me from taking it. so we'll see what the derm thinks next visit. Actually I don't even know if I'm going to need it after all, I seem to be clearing up a little( although not as much as I would like to.)

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tell her to do some research before she rushes to any conclusion because of what she saw on the news

people freak out over just one news report of one isolated case

ask her to explain how it is going to kill you

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Agree with the above. The numbers simply does not support accutane being any more dangerous than just being an average teenager.

Mix lots of money, a dead congressmen's son and irresponsible preganancies and abortions then you got mass hysteria on severly limiting the drug.

It is like FDA banning those jelly candy from Asia... seriously, more people probably choked to death at restaurant than the 1 or 2 cases that happened in California, but all it takes is one low income mother crying "all I wanted was to give her candy!!! how can candy kill my precious little girl!?!?!" to get this whole ball rolling... never mind that when people are choking, they are probably shaking violently and making some kind of noise... *shhhh! never blame a grieving parent for not supervising their children!*

"The maker of the acne drug Accutane faces a $70 million lawsuit claiming the medicine caused severe psychosis in a 15-year-old boy who crashed a stolen plane into a Tampa high-rise. The lawsuit, filed against Hoffmann-La Roche on Monday by the family of Charles Bishop, blames Accutane for the boy's suicide. Bishop slammed the small plane into the high rise on Jan. 5 and left behind a note expressing sympathy for Osama bin Laden and supporting the Sept. 11 attacks."

Ya, blame accutane, I blame you for raising an extremist and unbalanced freak.

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Ya, blame accutane, I blame you for raising an extremist and unbalanced freak.

an extremist and unbalanced freak that never even got his accutane prescription filled. an autopsy showed no trace of accutane in his system.

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Ya, blame accutane, I blame you for raising an extremist and unbalanced freak.

How do you know if he was an "extemist and unbalanced freak"? I hope they release the court documents. The number of pages are said to be in the millions..

##

-Roaccutane Science: http://max001.proboards42.com

-Retinoid signaling, etc.

-FDA Advisory Committee on Accutane (2000)

-Accutane package label (2005)

-Package label history

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How do you know if he was an "extemist and unbalanced freak"?

he crashed a plane into a building and had a note pledging his allegiance to Osama bin Laden.

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From the descriptions of his behavior, he possibly had a premorbid psychotic disorder. His psychosis could have been been triggered by the treatment, or just concomitant illness. Though, I think it is a bit odd that his psychotic episode occured around the time of the treatment.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/1746472.stm

I am atheist so the religion angle won't work.

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