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I asked God for confidence and for a couple of days I was really confident with myself and positive. But right now, I don't know what happened, but I feel shattered. I am studying abroad and I am going through hell. I wanted to withdraw from the course and return home to my family and comfort zone, but the school policy won't let me. everytime i look at the mirror i see this ugly face filled with red ness and spots. i can't sleep on the sides of my face because acne pops and it really hurts. i am crying as i am writing this down, because i just talked to my mom on the phone and asked her if she could come here at least for 3 weeks and she told me that won't figure anything out. she yelled to me, wake up! wake up! you are not going to die! i know, i know, but god this is soo horrible. i need help. i feel so alone. while my friends are having the time of their life, drinking and partying, i can't go out, i make excuses. i don't go out. i just failed my test and my friends don't talk to me as i am always depressed. i am 1000s of miles away from where i live. i need help. so many bad things are happening to me and i feel to blame. but i didn't do anything!! i really need support guys. is this what suicidal people feel. the root of the problem is just not the acne itself, but i just hate myself. i just hate my face and everything about me.

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thats insane that this post went for two hours without anyone replying. Christ. liliana your not alone! There are so many people who are terribly depressed by their acne.

And college is fucking tough! Homesick, all alone, it can be really really bad. Im so sorry for you, I really really am. I feel terrible that you feel this way. But there are always solutons. Things can always improve.

So chin up, maybe you need accutane, maybe you need to speak to a school counselor. Both of those things might do you wonders. But god your not alone in feelin the way you do.

and also always remember, that youre bettering yourself everyday. So many people have hardly a highschool education, and you couldnt believe the terrible jobs they live and what they do to get by. But your studing abroad, your future is bright

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Nice catch coughdrop comon guys this person needs our support. Liliana he's right your not alone, you can post whatever is on your mind on this forum 24/7, I found it always helped me when I could count on respectful replies that helped me in my time of need. If you don't find this forum dosen't do it all for you then maybe you should consider your school counselor as the next option.

Coughdrop could not have put it in to words any better you are not alone. Plz don't give up there's always light at the end of a tunnel.

If you ever need to talk to someone I would'nt mind a PM (personal message) and im sure coughdrop here would'nt either. I'm on this forum to help

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Hi Liliana,

I just wanna give you a hug right now! You are so not alone..I was feeling so very depressed last week but feel much better now. at church this Sunday God told me that he loves me and not to care about what other people think. All the people that love me don't see my blemishes. they see me. I just let go and let God take over my life. I know it's hard to let go and not think about your skin. Please know that you're not alone. God knows your sorrows and I belive he wants you to just let go of the self hate and give all your sadness and frustration to him. You can PM me anytime!! :)

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I asked God for confidence and for a couple of days I was really confident with myself and positive. But right now, I don't know what happened, but I feel shattered. I am studying abroad and I am going through hell. I wanted to withdraw from the course and return home to my family and comfort zone, but the school policy won't let me. everytime i look at the mirror i see this ugly face filled with red ness and spots. i can't sleep on the sides of my face because acne pops and it really hurts. i am crying as i am writing this down, because i just talked to my mom on the phone and asked her if she could come here at least for 3 weeks and she told me that won't figure anything out. she yelled to me, wake up! wake up! you are not going to die! i know, i know, but god this is soo horrible. i need help. i feel so alone. while my friends are having the time of their life, drinking and partying, i can't go out, i make excuses. i don't go out. i just failed my test and my friends don't talk to me as i am always depressed. i am 1000s of miles away from where i live. i need help. so many bad things are happening to me and i feel to blame. but i didn't do anything!! i really need support guys. is this what suicidal people feel. the root of the problem is just not the acne itself, but i just hate myself. i just hate my face and everything about me.

I understand how you feel. I REALLY do. My acne was so bad a few months ago that I was depressed every single day. Like you, I wouldn't go out, make excuses, and be really mean and nasty to people for no reason. Everyone thought I was the biggest bitch ever.. Dont worry hun, you WILL clear up. I am sure your acne isn't as bad as mine was, and if it is.. just put it this way:If I cleared up, you will too. Just have faith in God because you are a wonderful person the way God created you. And try to understand that a lot of people wont understand and know how you feel because they haven't experienced this acne shit themselves.

And like everyone else said, you can PM me anytime. :)

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rememeber that a person is way more then he appears. You have so much positive inside you. FInd it and make the most of it

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Don't ask god, that's a waste of time. God will not help you, because god is a fabrication created by humans.

The confidence you need is in yourself. Never give up, try everything and anything. Go to the Derm ask for Accutane, try antibiotics, hell even try Proactiv. However, I don't recommend any topical solutions as those are only temporary for the symptoms and usally do more harm then good.

Also, don't worry about partying and having fun. You are in college to get an education. If your friends are all out partying, then they'll be spending their time working at a dead end job in retail. College and parties do not work out. You have to study, you have to pass that's the only way you'll amount to anything after college.

And believe me, if you drop out your life will be complete shit. One of my old friends , who now is a complete tard. He got drunk alot, picked up drugs in college, went to alot of parties, yeah he had alot more fun then me. Well now he works at Wal-mart, making the same money in 6 hours of work as I make in one. And I feel no pity for him.

Never give up.

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oh my gosh, i just want to thank you guys for all your love and support. i have severe acne. i have redness all over my face, but my right chin is infested with so many cysts that i can't feel any of right chin face muscles. this wouldn't be so bad if i could just go back home, i am really close to my family. but it seems i can't go back. WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT! but everyone is just telling me to tough it out. but thanks you guys. you guys are the best. i was kind of surprised myself for ranting about my problems on here but dude you guys are so responsive and supportive. i love it! you guys literally saved me.

its been so tough. my friends have crystal clear skin and they complain when they have one small zit. but i don't blame them i just get a little envious. :( i went to a dermatologist here but he was an ass and told me that never in his whole career seen such a severe case, and went on to say that he doesn't have the confidence to treat me. my heart sank. i knew my acne was bad, but i never once thought that i was the worst. but ppl in asia have porcelain skin so...in comparison, i guess i am the worst. i went to another derma and he automatically prescribed accutane.

today, i posted because i couldn't sleep a wink last night my face was just hurting so bad. it fells so swollen and pus underneath seems to get bigger and more painful everyday. i talked to my counselor today and he was ever so sweet. but he told me it would be difficult to go back midway through the program. oh gosh, i want to go home and hug my mom. i want to hug my little brother and dad. i want to eat some homemade food and be able to lie on the couch and watch 823983204923 hrs of TV straight. but i will wait. i guess this will make me appreciate my comforts at home more. i hope you guys appreciate the comforts of your home, because they are blessings. if my skin didn't hurt so much i would go out, but honestly there is just too much pain. i am actually taking 20mg of accutane, but is one of the side effects swelling? i experience my face swelling into a balloon. i will just have to tough it out. oh dear, the horror. :redface:

again, sincerely a million thanks who were kind to leave me encouraging messages. you guys have helped me so much. thannk you. :wub:

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hey im in college now too but at least im better than you in that im in the comfort of my own home.i understand that it must be so lonely to study and live alone in a foreign land.but lets look on the positive side ok.partying is not everything.i used to depress myself thinking that i do not have a life out there and that everyone is enjoying their life when im here worrying about acne instead of other stuff.but i have sorted out my thinking that acne will go heal faster if i dont think so much about it and concentrate on more important stuff like getting good grades to secure a better future.acne will go awae one day,and maybe we just have to rely on makeup to conceal our flaws next time if it still persists after we graduate.now,in college,the most important thing is to study.u can PM me anytime to talk ok.hugs (: life is tough but we gonna fight on.God loves us no better how we look.we have to accept the fact that we have acne although it's difficult to :(

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You must accept who you are right now, forget about God. God is cruel and he/she/it seems to support only unworthy people who got everything already.

What can you do? You can:

1) try medicine. I see people advising accutane, maybe you should try it!

2) Wear a baseball cap. It makes it easier to walk around.

3) Try to change your lifestyle, acne problem comes from unhealthy eating.

4) Look for nice people around. WHo wont diss you. Maybe they dont really want to be your friend. BUT! What I did is, just talked to some girls and guys on the phone, sms, chatrooms, and they just got used to me. That's how I got myself supportive friends.

GL. We're in this bs together, and we're all fighting this. So stand up and fight with us! It wont be easy. Life is not fair. You must know this and hold in the back of your mind.

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hey im in college now too but at least im better than you in that im in the comfort of my own home.i understand that it must be so lonely to study and live alone in a foreign land.but lets look on the positive side ok.partying is not everything.i used to depress myself thinking that i do not have a life out there and that everyone is enjoying their life when im here worrying about acne instead of other stuff.but i have sorted out my thinking that acne will go heal faster if i dont think so much about it and concentrate on more important stuff like getting good grades to secure a better future.acne will go awae one day,and maybe we just have to rely on makeup to conceal our flaws next time if it still persists after we graduate.now,in college,the most important thing is to study.u can PM me anytime to talk ok.hugs (: life is tough but we gonna fight on.God loves us no better how we look.we have to accept the fact that we have acne although it's difficult to :(

you are definitely right. i will try to think this way, altho it is so much easier said than done.

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I can relate to this on some level..

I sometimes travel abroad when I model and I'm all alone as well... surrounded by perfect looking people. I'd have body acne and facial acne and wonder wtf I'm doing model next to these perfect gorgeous girls. I didnt make many friends at all and always stayed in my hotel room alone. I was awful at castings because my insecurity and sadness over came me. I had no family or friends around at all and my phone bill was outrageous.

There are people here that can relate and talk with you. Whenever in doubt just know you have so many people behind you! You arent alone at all.

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i am actually taking 20mg of accutane, but is one of the side effects swelling? i experience my face swelling into a balloon. i will just have to tough it out. oh dear, the horror. redface.

Yes swelling can be one side effects, this never happened to me but I've read about it happening to other. Don't worry to much about this liliana it usually will go away after a week or so.

Congratz on starting your Accutane, can I ask why your derm put you on such a low dose... I thought if you have severe cystic acne your usually at a does of say 60-80mg's? But anyways 20mg's of accutane is better then nothing. Theres one thing about accutane you must realize though it requires an immense ammount of patience if you stick with your treatment and never give up I can almost promise that in a couple months you will be posting on this forum about how much you love accutane :)

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3) Try to change your lifestyle, acne problem comes from unhealthy eating.

Not neccesarily. Certain foods might make some people breakout, but there are no direct links between food and acne, and there are no "definite" foods that will make everyone breakout.

I feel for you, man. I'm like the only person in my county with acne, and everyone else hasnt had a pimple for a second of their life. Half of them dont even wash their face. When I walk down the street people look at me funny. And my friends dont invite me anywhere with them. They deny it, but I know they go out every Saturday. Probably too embarrassed to be seen with the "freak". You can drop me a pm anytime you'd like

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Your post made me cry, because I feel the exact same way about myself. And it hurts so bad. I wish there was something I could do, but I can only say that things WILL get better. So many times in my life I thought things couldn't get any worse, and suddenly they got better. Do not kill yourself no matter what! Your life is your own and you have a future, a future without acne. Keep going, keep trying. You are not to blame at all! I bet you have a beautiful face under your acne, don't give up!

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i am actually taking 20mg of accutane, but is one of the side effects swelling? i experience my face swelling into a balloon. i will just have to tough it out. oh dear, the horror. redface.

Yes swelling can be one side effects, this never happened to me but I've read about it happening to other. Don't worry to much about this liliana it usually will go away after a week or so.

Congratz on starting your Accutane, can I ask why your derm put you on such a low dose... I thought if you have severe cystic acne your usually at a does of say 60-80mg's? But anyways 20mg's of accutane is better then nothing. Theres one thing about accutane you must realize though it requires an immense ammount of patience if you stick with your treatment and never give up I can almost promise that in a couple months you will be posting on this forum about how much you love accutane :)

thanks for your response. the reason why is because i was allergic to minocycline and my body isn't the strongest. so my derm decided to put me on a low dose seeing that i could get some really bad side effects. i also heard that taking low dosages does help but just takes longer to treat

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happysandals

Not neccesarily. Certain foods might make some people breakout, but there are no direct links between food and acne, and there are no "definite" foods that will make everyone breakout.

BS. Try to stuff yourself with chocolate or sweet cakes and you'll see how wrong you are.

Also spicy things wont help you overcome acne at all.

You know, stuff like "there is no link between lifestyle and acne" is just a lame excuse cuz you are too lazy to crucially change your lifestyle.

Of course it's not easy. But it's rewarding. and you dont have to do it all at once. I, myself, was stopping eating bad foods during a whole year, cuz I loved some food too much.

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happysandals

Not neccesarily. Certain foods might make some people breakout, but there are no direct links between food and acne, and there are no "definite" foods that will make everyone breakout.

BS. Try to stuff yourself with chocolate or sweet cakes and you'll see how wrong you are.

Also spicy things wont help you overcome acne at all.

You know, stuff like "there is no link between lifestyle and acne" is just a lame excuse cuz you are too lazy to crucially change your lifestyle.

Of course it's not easy. But it's rewarding. and you dont have to do it all at once. I, myself, was stopping eating bad foods during a whole year, cuz I loved some food too much.

i dont think there is any difinitive study on an acne-food correlation because acne has varied causes from person to person, and theres no demographic you could accurately measure to reach any consensus on the subject.

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coughdrop

One thing for sure - if you have acne you gotta forget about some of the foods. Like chocolate. The list of those foods is pretty big.

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I asked God for confidence and for a couple of days I was really confident with myself and positive. But right now, I don't know what happened, but I feel shattered. I am studying abroad and I am going through hell. I wanted to withdraw from the course and return home to my family and comfort zone, but the school policy won't let me. everytime i look at the mirror i see this ugly face filled with red ness and spots. i can't sleep on the sides of my face because acne pops and it really hurts. i am crying as i am writing this down, because i just talked to my mom on the phone and asked her if she could come here at least for 3 weeks and she told me that won't figure anything out. she yelled to me, wake up! wake up! you are not going to die! i know, i know, but god this is soo horrible. i need help. i feel so alone. while my friends are having the time of their life, drinking and partying, i can't go out, i make excuses. i don't go out. i just failed my test and my friends don't talk to me as i am always depressed. i am 1000s of miles away from where i live. i need help. so many bad things are happening to me and i feel to blame. but i didn't do anything!! i really need support guys. is this what suicidal people feel. the root of the problem is just not the acne itself, but i just hate myself. i just hate my face and everything about me.

aww sweety u need a hug *hugggg*

dont you know? college is a test to your tolerance to stress!

i went through days like that and i cant imagine what it would have been like if i was not in the comfort of my home. ur not alone i lost ten pounds of weight just cos of stress when i first joined college..my face started to break out in cysts all over because of all the stress..i was going to derms used to cry myself to sleep..i've been thru all that...i guess a lot of ppl have! so we know how u feel

but dont let it keep you down..

i still break out and im still in college but its nothing like the first few years...i just hope things get better and ur able to return back to ur home soon..if u need to ever let ur feeligns out and u need support we all are here for u!

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coughdrop

One thing for sure - if you have acne you gotta forget about some of the foods. Like chocolate. The list of those foods is pretty big.

I dunno, i've kept an eye on this myself and i seem to get more pimples when i don't eat junk e.g. chocolate etc//... weird i know, but true. Spose everyone's different!!

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One explanation of the link between diet and acne is that acne is linked with some body problems like liver/kidney/stomach problems which are caused by DIET. Never noticed that after some foods you might get a heartburn?? Well congrats, people with acne are sensitive to such things.

It might be caused by weak immune system. That is also why acne is sometimes linked to stresses and lack of sleep.

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