Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Recommended Posts

My derm got me in tears today..

I have tried derm after derm only to be disappointed. I feel like they just dont care or they just want money. I am beginning to feel that derms are simply salesmen. I've had one who told me there was nothing I can do about my red marks..Another wanted to give me v-beam for my scars, another charged me more then they quoted me..the list honestly goes on...

Needless to say, I never want to give up..so, I made an appointment with a doctor in San Diego who does smoothbeam. (which is 3 hours away)

I asked the receptionist on the phone twice I AM COMMING VERY FAR FOR THIS APPOINTMENT. CAN I BE TREATED THE SAME DAY I COME THERE? Her answer was yes, we will treat you the same day you come.

So, I drive the 3 hours to the San Diego area and I arrive EARLY to the office. When I start talking with the doctor he doesn't want to give me smoothbeam, he wants to up the price and tries to talk me into a $1000 phenol peel. This was very frustrating because after all.. I drove there to get smoothbeam not to try to give my money away on worthless crap that doesn't work.

After literally a half hour of telling this guy I dont want a phenol peel (and endless worthless stores about how well the phenol works) he tells me he will do the smoothbeam but he wont do it today because it takes an hour to get numb.

He said I needed to buy my own numbing cream and come back and make another appointment BECAUSE THE BASTARD DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT FOR MY SKIN TO GET NUMB.

I told him that I just drove 3 hours to get here, and your telling me that I have to numb my own skin. Isnt that your job? How am I supposed to know that I need to numb my OWN skin, you didn't tell me that?

Needless to say he didn't give a damn about me. He wouldn't wait for me to get numb.

He said we will do a phenol peel next time you come and I said I AM NOT COMING BACK!! I walked out the door and sat in my car and cried for literally 45 minutes uncontrollably.

I have a family reunion in 1 month and I have been spending all of my money to try and get my skin looking descent so I can actually face my family (some who I haven't seen in over 10 years).

I have missed so many fun things because of my face and I am feeling so depressed right now. I finally broke down to my dad and told him why I dont go certain places, why I miss out on things. He doesn't complexly understand but he is trying. He says you have beautiful skin. I DEFINITELY DONT, IF HE SAW ME WITHOUT MY MAKEUP HE WOULD BE SURPRISED how bad my skin looks. My family thinks I hate them because I dont go to Christmas or any holidays. I love my parents and visit them all of the time but it;s hard to bear the thought of showing my face to my other family.

I dont know if anyone will read this but I have to let all of this out. I am tired of pretending to be happy, I am tired of being strong and not telling anyone about how I really feel.

The thing is...I know there are so many more important things and that's what keeps me going.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ugh simply sickens me what some "doctors" have no regard for their patient's emotions

i sincerely hope you can find a derm that sincerely cares for his/her patients and Im sure there are many out there

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

where in san diego did you drive too? where are you coming from? i just had a consultation with one today, all the way down in chula vista. they want 1250 for 5 treatments.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

-->Lisa i totaly know where you are coming from on the topic of derms not caring. the derm I've seen twice over the past year is a total smug prick. My time with him is less than 5 min every visit and he is rushing to get out of the door. he's really just my Retin-A dealer so thats how I treat him. I asked him about scars and he replied, "well, we can cut them out or sand them off." =D> he didn't say anything about the multitude of treatments I've found on this site after my last and final visit to THAT derm.

I know its hard, but try not to be too private about your scars. I have scars and they bother me too sometimes. I used to never talk to anyone about them. I found that losening up and telling people that you love and know love you about how it makes you feel can really help you deal with and accept the way you are. It also can help you realize how warped your self-image can be. just do the best you can and keep your chin up girl! biggrin.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone for all of your support. It really means a lot coming from people who know how I feel.

passthejonch Thank you. Someone sent me a private message and recommended a doctor that the've heard great things about. YEAH!!!!

jdang307 The derm I went to was actually in Chula vista as well. The name of the place is Beneta Laser. I was scheduled to see Dr perez but they told me when I arrived I was going to see another doctor. He was a pretty old white guy with gray hair. I dont know his name but I want to get it. I am going to call them on Monday to find out. Is this the same place you went? When I told this doctor that I haven't heard good things about peels on the internet....He insisted that the people posting this information were doctors trying to make the treatment look bad and that people posting good things about smoothbeam were doctors trying to make the procedure look good. Anyway, I could go on and on about this guy but luckily I am getting this all out of my system so I can shut up about it. lol

sopwidth Thank you for the encouragement. I am glad you let your feelings out about your scars. Your derm sounds like an idiot. Seems like he couldn't care less. Have you actually found a derm you like?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally have not. I have found this website to be better than going to a derm anyway. I find it empowering and informative. I have my perscription filled untill next july. and unless I inherit some money or win the lotto I'm not going to get any professional scar treatments. too much $$$$$

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LIsa I'm sorry to hear of your horrible experience. I have often experienced the same thing, seemingly every doctor does not listen and everything is done on their terms, at their convenience, and on their time. And WE are paying THEM! It enrages me too.

Keep on persevering though, as you WILL at some point find a good doc. that will listen and know his/her stuff.

I honestly think that the type of people attracted to medicine in the first place are almost from the get go precluded from being good doctors. Med students are mostly in in for the money and prestige. They don't really honestly give a damn about other people, and are far from sympathetic. Then they are taught to be cocky and narrow minded in medical school. When they become doctors, they only want $$$$$$ to support their golf habits, student loans, and mortgages.

Makes me want to vomit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lisa, i feel for u.

i don't know if this helps, but u can kinda look a tthis in a positive way. The reason why the doctor didn't take u too seriously might be because he doesn't see ur condition as being severe. If u were scarred REAL bad, i think any doctor with half a heart would have pity and do anything to help u. I don't know if this made u feel better. But it does to me sometimes. Cause when i hear a doctor or derm tell me "Hahahahaha! thats nothing. U have very mild xxxxx." Yes, he's laughing at my intelligence, but i'm more glad i don't have xxxxxx.

kinda a half full/half empty approach to lookign at it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you guys again, I am starting to feel so much better...

sopwidth I agree, I have had more luck so far with this board than with any dermatologist.

KJ You have a good point. I would like to think that a lot of derms get into the profession because they care and perhaps been through some pain themselves (skin cancer, acne, acne scars etc...) but that doesnt seem to be the case most of the time. At least they dont seem to care, the one's i've visited anyway. Come to think of it It's hard to find a good doc period...derm or not When I finally find a good one, I am not letting them go lol

scudboy Perhaps you are right. The reason I am at the derm is because I feel it's a problem so you would think the derms would see that I am suffering and take me serioulsy. I think I look terrible when I look into the mirror but you never know what people actually think when they look at you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Might I add, that since the apparent majority of doctors are unsympathetic and mostly concerned with $, that is why this forum is such a godsend and people like Maya are paving the way for all of us to educate ourselves, and seek out the BEST possible EFFECTIVE treatments for the least amount of $.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how your feeling. I hate it when my picture is taken by anything but a digital camera (it's easier to fix the pics on my computer that way). My derm tells me that I don't really have any scarring (although I have both red and brown scars and a few rolling scars) and 5 minutes later with yet another perscription for antibiotics (that I don't take, but heignores it when I tell him) he sends me on my merry little way. And to make matters worse I have no hope that I might ever grow out of my acne, since my entire fam on my dads side battles it, most entil the day the die.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Drug companies don't even refer to us as patients anymore using the term "consumers" meaning we are just economic units to them and doctors have followed suit. Also, plastic surgeons make thousands an hour whether they help people or not. It's like asking the barber if you need a haircut!

It's probably always been this way, we're just seeing more of the same as society gets more advanced but luckily there's the internet to fill in the gaps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lisa,

I didn't start visiting derms first because by the time I got enough nerve up to even go to a doctor, I was addressing the acne scars. But, I did want to give you hope because I found a plastic surgeon who was very caring (he even wrote a prescription out for me at one of the free consults to help clear up my remaining acne) and has taken the time to see me by myself, with my husband, and now for a third consult.

There are doctors out there who want to help people and I just wish I knew of one of them down in your area. But don't give up hope.

<<<<hug>>>>

~nancy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oops, so sorry for lagging Lisa.

Yes, Bonita Laser is the same place I went to. I'm starting to hesitate now about them, based on your experience. I also saw the same old white haired doctor, pushing all sorts of products on me. He said I needed microderm and THEIR spf45 sunblock. I understand the sunblock part, but I could do just as well with my own brand, as long as I'm getting something on there.

What I did was make appointments for the microderm one day, and the smoothbeam the week after. But I'm going to call this week, and cancel the microderm, and do just the smoothbeam. I can replicate the effects of the microderm with a peel, and save myself eighty dollars each time.

I'm hesitant about the care he will provide, judging by his pushing of products, but that might not take away from his ability as a doctor, after all, he is just being a businessman, and I can respect that. Just put it on the right setting, and zap me, that's all I ask.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lisa, I know how u feel! U should be grateful though that your folks encourage u and tell u u look good. My dad and my grandmother AND my mother all told me my skin got horrible looking. How do u think that made me feel!

Besides, u probably don't have depressed scarring, do u ? I have it bad and I am doing everything I can.

Hold your head up high and keep at it. It'll get better

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lisa,

I am so sorry you had to go through that. There you were - three hours from home and he was being an ass to you!

I think that the bottom line is that they don't know what they are doing. Scar treatment is still in a barbaric stage. I can't wait until the day comes when there is one guaranteed treatment for scars and any physician will be able to administer the care. I would love to see these arrogant bastards out of business! I believe that within five years the treatment of scars will have been revolutionized - acne treatment will a simple science and we will all be able to get on with our lives. A phenol peel is a serious thing! How long did he say your down time would be? Did he mention the risks or complications which are possible?

Hugs!

Anna

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lisa

I too know how you feel. When I first went to my current derm about clearing up my remaining acne, he said "So where's your acne?". At first I thought "Oh cool, it musn't be that bad" and as he chatted about other things I thought "what a cool guy", then the next sessions came and as someone else put it, he basically just became my Roaccutane dealer. As soon as I sat down he just asked me how it was going, told me how much longer I'd need, wrote the presciption and that was it, all the time speaking a hundred words a minute (I'm sure to get me out of there faster). I told him on my initial consultation that I wanted to do something about the scars after my treatment and he never mentioned them in any sessions, so I reminded him and he basically talked so fast about a couple of treatments, but only focused on the bad points. I will go back to see him after I'm in the safe period, but just to see what he offers and if I'm not happy I will go elsewhere. I wonder if a female derm would be a bit more compassionate (sorry guys, nothing against you!).

Donna

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×