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~Kristen's Accutane Journey~ DONE

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Day 32-

YEY! It's my favorite number day! And WHAT a day it has been. I just got a HUGE raise at work! :dance: I'm soo psyched! And it's my sister's birthday today and we are going out to a nice dinner :D

Skin hasn't been so great though...but all of this other good stuff is kind of overshadowing it! I have a huge red bump on my cheek close to my mouth :mad: ughhh...like it hurt this morning when I touched it. I had two new whiteheads near each corner of my mouth. I noticed last night when I was washing my face that it is EXTREMELY bumpy and just has an awful texture to it. I'm pretty sure I'm purging and getting everything from underneath out. I have lots of skin colored bumps on my forehead too.

In side effects news...I finally got Dove shampoo/conditioner so I will try that out asap. I noticed last night and this morning that my eyes hurt and were dry...it wasn't unbearable...just something that I noticed. The cuts on my legs (from my class the other night) are all scabbed over but still sting and hurt to touch :cry: OH! And I ran a couple miles last night and noticed some joint pain in my knees - again, it wasn't unbearable so that's good!

Bella - I had read other's logs and heard about the sensitive skin but had yet to experience it. But OUCH it hurts!!!! I notice that I have a lot more scratches too.

Dyne- So weird that the same one just keeps coming back! Thanks for stopping by my log :)

Hope everyone has a great night!!!

Kristen

PS- where is BEN???? :ninja:

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:D

Oh here I am!

Well, as I said before, it's still true now; I'm hella busy at work. For about the past 5 days, I've worked since I got up till I had to go back to sleep - literally. So although I enjoy it lots, it didnt leave time for me to write on here! :( I still have been reading your log though, Kristen :) just no time to really post in my own...

Well, today, I got off work on time! well, around on time.

So wahoo for 32! but why is that your favorite number? I can't imagine it comes up as often as mine (3) :), but I guess that makes it more lucky for ya since it's less common.

So as for your irritated skin, that sure sucks - it reminds me of my situation, although yours is much more apparent because you have to deal with it for longer periods of time, rather than me just whining about drying off my face after washing it. But yay that it's gettin better! And I'm glad that running didn't hurt you too bad! Although any joint pains aren't cool at all.

And as for your 'not so great' skin lately, well hey - purging is fantastic! gotta get the bad stuff out somehow!

I seem to have been breakin out lately, and I'm just happy for that reason - to get rid of them!

Congrats on your raise!!! That's so awesome! Now you'll be able to either pay the bills better, or treat yourself to more fun stuff more often! (I recommend the latter)

Well, ok - just for you, I'll post up in my log. I guess there's enough to write about :)

hint: I write this post to you with a bloody nose that doesnt seem to want to stop.

Thanks for updating us although I may not be so punctual...

- Ben

PS - weeeird - I'm the 102nd reply on both of our logs!

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Hey Kristen,

Raises are awesome, wooooo :dance: ! Sorry about the skin, I'm starting to break out again too. It's gonna be up and down for the next few months. As for the skin colored bumps, I noticed those bumps too when I stretch my skin in the mirror but they don't really look like clogged pores. I feel like my skin has thinned out since starting the 'tane, maybe those are the oil glands near the surface? Just a random guess. Hope everything's going well today!

~Matt

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Day 33-

Waaaaaaaa :cry: the first month was so good and nice...nowwww not so nice. :boohoo: My skin looks like CRAP. Breaking out everywhere...bad bad bad. Everytime I go look in the mirror there are newbies popping up. I just saw a new under my nose in the middle of that weird bump thing above your mouth (what is that called anyways???) And the HUGE red bump on the side of my face is still red/big/hurting. I feel like my skin could be about to explode. THANK GOD my boyfriend is out of town...I look hideous. :ninja:

Clear skin takes time though - hopefully I can make it through this bad part and just keep thinking about the end: CLEAR SKIN.

Bad headaches have been lingering, back is hurting again (it stopped for a while), incredibly thirsty all day today (even though I am chugging water) my hands have so many cuts of them from random things!! I got absolutely NO sleep last night...it was so hot in the house and the AC wasn't really working very well. I couldn't fall asleep and then I kept waking up every hour. :doubt:

Dana- thanks for your kind words!!! I appreciate it. Hey, when did you notice your blackheads disappearing?

Ben- Well well well! Look who decided to make an appearance!! I'm glad you are back!!! I missed you!!! So, the reason the 32 is my favorite number...it's kind of a funny story...when I was in 5th grade, my dad used to take me to all the high school basketball games (he liked to watch the games and I liked to watch the cheerleaders...and I ended up cheering all through high school) and #32 was my first official "crush" I guess! I thought he was so cute and from then on I have used 32 for everything!!

What do you do for work that you have been soo soo busy?? I don't think I've ever asked that?

Purging is fantastic and I'm excited but sad all at the same time - excited that everything is being pushed out, but sad because I look hideous!!! I just keeping thinking about that light at the end of the tunnel...although, not the big dig tunnel ... :shock: YIKES! did you hear about that? It's been absolute insanity here in Boston because a panel in one of the tunnels fell and killed someone driving through - so they've closed the tunnel and it wreaking havoc on traffic in the city.

I'm super excited about my raise!! Last night at dinner, my family was like "well, since Kristen got a raise she can pay for dinner tonight!!" HA. It will be my ONE year anniversary of working on August 1st...weird!

Thanks for responding to me!!!

Matt- The skin colored bumps are weird - I'm not sure what they are going to do...I hope they fall off and die though!!! I can only really see them if I look really closely and if I put my fingers over them. So it's good they aren't noticeable but I'd prefer to not have them at all.

Have a great weekend everyone! :cool:

Kristen

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Waaaaaaaa :cry: the first month was so good and nice...nowwww not so nice. :boohoo:

Aww don't worry Kristen, just look at your Guinea Pig (lol)..I started breaking out at my 3rd week up until now!

I got absolutely NO sleep last night...it was so hot in the house and the AC wasn't really working very well. I couldn't fall asleep and then I kept waking up every hour. :doubt:

That's the same reason I can't sleep! I feel like an old lady getting hot flashes :lol:

Dana- thanks for your kind words!!! I appreciate it. Hey, when did you notice your blackheads disappearing?

I'm not sure Kristen, I actually searched my whole journal for you, but my dumb @$$ forgot to put that on there, but if I could guess it would've been around the end of my 1st month.

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Heeeheeehee I was laughin at the Big Dig joke. I'll do anything to avoid the tunnels these days. I am going to Mass Ave in Cambridge tomorrow & I'm going to take Mass Ave all the way from Roxbury just to avoid any tunnels!! I hope that woman's family gets millllllions.

Well it sounds like you may be a victim of the lovely IB huh? Keep your head up, from what I hear, it comes and goes real quickly. I'm sure it's only bad in your eyes, and anyone looking at you would probably not notice anything. At least the BF is away. I already told my BF if I break out real bad, he can expect not to see me for a little while and I'm not going anywhere :lol: But all he said was "I don't care, I'm happy just to come over and get a pizza and watch a movie. We don't need to go anywhere" Awwww sometimes men can be so sweet.. but only when they want to be!!!

Well keep us posted on your progress, your skin will turn around in no time!! Congrats on the raise!!

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Day 36

First of all...

WHERE THE HECK DID MY SIGNATURE GO????????????????????????

It just disappeared :( I didn't delete or anything??? Has anyone else had their signature just deleted on them? I'm mad because I had an egg ready to hatch tomorrow and now it's gone :mad: I'm so angry!!!

Anyways...

That red bump near my cheek I had been talking about turned into a full blown cyst and took over my face this weekend. THANK GOD my boyfriend has been out of town...I looked HIDEOUS. Absolutely hideous. It was bright red and huge and right near my mouth..so obviously anyone who looked at me was staring right at my ugly cyst. It was really frustrating and there was really nothing I could do to cover it up. I have been getting about 3-4 new pimples every day all over my face. Most of them are small and end up going away but it's still annoying. I was on an antibiotic the first month and now I"m not, so I am wondering if these breakouts are because I am off the antibiotic.

Nothing really going on in the side effects department. Although, I do have this weird rash on my hand. :think: headaches haven't been bad, back hasn't been hurting...so that's good!

Dana- Thanks for looking through your journal for me!!! I have noticed the blackheads are slowly going away...there are still some around the tip of my nose...but up higher there aren't any...so they are slowly fading away!!

Alyssa- I do think this might be the dreaded IB. I am constantly breaking out now :( But hopefully I will get it over with fast. Although, I am nervous that when my dose gets increased I might breakout all over again. That is SO cute what your boyfriend said!!!! I'm always so paranoid what I look like around my boyfriend...I feel so awful when I know I look bad :confused: Thanks for stopping by my log!!!

Hope everyone has a good Monday!!

Kristen (with no signature :doubt: )

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Hey Kristen! So, an hour later and I've finally read through all of your log since I've been gone! Sounds like you've been experiencing some of the ups and downs of accutane - it can be so extremely frustrating can't it? Just try to keep remembering that it's going to get better.

Sorry to hear that you're going through an IB - you're probably right that it's related to stopping the antibiotic. It's good though that you came off it now rather than having to deal with it later on.

Your poor legs - this just further confirms my belief that exercise is bad for you! God, I'm so incredibly lazy - good for you for still working out! I know what you mean about the sensitive skin though - I vaccumed last night when we got home from the trip because there was cat hair everywhere and the palm of my hand was actually stinging from gripping the handle. Guess I'll have to stop doing housework...

Oh, and about the lab work - it kinda seems like your derm just couldn't be bothered to have you go for blood work. Even though it's kind of a hassle to get it done, you might want to insist on it (just my opinion though). For your own peace of mind, it would be good to be assured that your body is handling the accutane.

Wishing you clear, clear skin! :)

Tanya

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Hang in there Kristen (with no signature LOL)!! I hope the rest of the week is better for you.

Also wishing you clear, clear skin, :D

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Kristen with no signature! Get a new signature!

But I'm quite sorry that you lost yours! and there's no way to just go to an old post and copy that cause it disappears on all of your posts once it's changed or gone! damn!

- all of those previous sentences end in exclamation points, but that doesn't mean that I was yelling at you. You will not find me ever yelling at you... for the rest of the day. - :)

So, Im sorry you felt quite self conscious about your cyst. but I'm sure it was no big deal. to be honest, you're a girl. and girls always have the upper hand - no matter what is on their face. I saw this girl in whole foods the other day (well, she's always there, so I see her more than that, but that's not the point), whom I found quite attractive. But once I got closer, I noticed she had acne. And since I don't have much going on on my face lately, I wasn't too self conscious about my skin. But I was pretty nervous to be dealing with this attractive girl. And I was really curious as to why I could be feeling that way; that she had the upper hand entirely in that boy-girl situation, if she had acne. Then I realized that it was because I wasn't paying attention to her skin at all. I was just seeing her face - the shape of it; her eyes, her lips, her nose, etc. - not her skin. I thought, hey - i'd be self conscious if I had that acne. But she didn't appear to be self conscious at all, and when I thought about it, I realized that she had absolutely no reason to be. Then I thought, wow. I'd really like to get in this girl's pants. well, that's actually not what I thought. But it may add some comic relief to my story here. And then I felt bad for even thinking about judging looks based on something like acne, when I felt lucky to even be talking to this girl.

I really hope that story comes off the right way. I guess, in short, although you probably know it deep down, you've nothing to worry about. And if I ever met you in person, the last thing I'd be thinking about is the condition of your skin... unless you didn't have any. Then I'd be just confused as to why I met a skinless Kristen. Sure, we'd make some jokes about it, but I think it would be pretty awkward. And I would be staring at your exposed muscle tissue. I wouldn't even try to conceal it.

Anyway, I hope you're havin a killer night!

- Ben

ps - so my roommate has invited me to the wrap party for the movie she just worked on. it's at a gay bar (well, it's a gay-themed movie). I'm considering going. So, probably by the time you read this, I will have made my decision to stay or go. As for right now, I am quite unsure. I have no problem with gay guys. But I shouldn't be drinking while on tane! but it would be fun since I haven't gone out like that in a long time... and gay guys do like to dance. and although I'm not gay, I like to dance too. and because it's a wrap party for the whole production, that means that there'll be lots of girls there too. and once the dancin gets started, i wouldn't mind gettin ma groove on with some ladies! although, tonight, i'll have to be especially sure that it's a girl I'm groovin with. Not being homophobic; just being sure.

lata!

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Kristen,

It seems that they've added new board rules on signatures. They sig botted a bunch of us and removed tons of people's pics and other links. :(

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Day 37

Okay. No one panic. My signature is FINALLY back! I was hoping it would just magically re-appear but that didn't exactly happen. :doubt: So I decided to make a new one. It's kind of the same - minus the egg that was supposed to hatch TODAY.

Today is also my one year anniversary of working :shock: I can't believe it has been a whole YEAR. WOW. :shock:

As for an update...that HUGE massive cyst on my face went down slightly (just in time to pick up my boy at the airport!!) It's still there and red. :snooty: Along my jaw I have about 5-6 newbies and and then a couple of new ones near my nose. It seems like I am breaking out a lot more and often. So that's frustrating...but my face doesn't look COMPLETELY terrible. So I'm just kind of ehhh about it.

As for side effects...This rash on my left hand is spreading - I think it might be eczema? Not sure though. No back pain :dance: YEY! and that's about it!

Tanya- Glad to see you back! I hope you had a great vacation! I can't wait to read about it in your log!! It has been frustrating, and in the end I try to be positive because I know the end result will be totally worth it. I'm pretty sure this breaking out is due to me coming off the antibiotic - especially the huge cyst - i haven't had ANY cysts since I started tane and now that I am off the antibiotic I immediately break out. It's funny you mention my legs...I have had SO many people ask me what the cuts on my legs are from - it's so embaressing! They are finally starting to heal (over a week later!). It's crazy how sensitive my skin is now.

Lisa- Thanks for stopping by!! I hope I get used to this "no antibiotic" soon!

Dana- They are ALMOST gone!! So close! The ones on my cheeks and forehead are still kind of there though - I imagine those take longer to go away. But the ones on/around my nose are pretty much gone :)

Ben- So I read over your story a couple of times and was trying to figure out where I stand - see I think I feel the opposite! I feel like girls are supposed to look beautiful and have beautiful skin. In my experience I have seen MANY guys that have serious acne problems with beautiful girls. I rarely see girls with bad skin with really good-looking guys (except maybe me and my b/f haha) I guess it's just my experience though - I've been lucky in the sense that I have a boyfriend with perfectly clear skin that looks past my horrible skin.

Skinless Kristen...hmmm interesting picture!!!! ha imagine?? although I'd probably look better as just muscle tissue instead of the grossness that is my face. :doubt: Yep. I'd def. rather have muscle tissue.

So what did you end up doing last night? Did you go to the gay bar? Let me tell you that my 2 friends (girls) used to go to gay bars with our guy friend (who is gay) and they would have the BEST time ever! And, they weren't the only straight girls there - so maybe there were straight girls there?? Let me know! I hope you had a good time too! Have you drank anything while on tane? I know it's not a good idea but I am doing it in moderation - there was no way I could just stop drinking altogether. It's a social thing with me and my friends - except when everyone starts pounding the beers, I'm just sipping mine. I'm careful though!! I promise :angel: Can't wait to hear about your night!!!!! :D

Mindolluin- Thanks for letting me know what happened - I broke down and made a new one. That's so annoying that they did that and didn't even let me know!!!

happy heinous tuesday. that's my new word for tuesdays...cause I hate them!!

Kristen :) (YEAH my signature's back!)

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Hey Kristen,

Just seeing how you are doing. I have been getting a rash / bumps on my hands as well. I think it is eczema. My forearms are also getting red and irritated too. I've noticed that when i do certain things that rub against those areas, it gets even worse. DONT SCRATCH!!

I've been putting aloe gel and neosproin on it. It seems to be getting better, but i'm not sure if time is healing it or the stuff i put on it is helping.

Stick with it...I"m sure you will clear up soon!

I just figured out how to add my signature!

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Day 38

AHH it's so hot here! We are having a crazy heat wave here in Boston - so I'm attempting to stay cool. :confused: I hope my AC works tonight!!!

Anyways! Skin is doing okay in this heat. I am trying as best I can to walk in the shady areas because the sun is just so incredibly hot. It looked a little bit oily when I came into work today but I think it might be from the heat. No one can have oil free skin in this heat!!

The cyst is leaving an ugly redmark on my face and I hate it :doubt: any suggestions for it? Aloe? Neosporin? The rash on my hand has now spread down my forearm! I'm really not sure what it is - it isn't itchy at all - just kind of scabby and dry. It could just be dry skin.

Utexas- Weird - we might have the same rash thing going on!! I think I might try and use aloe or neosporin and see if it helps. Do you use aloe or neosporin on your face at all? And YEY for adding a signature!! :clap:

Hope everyone has a nice (cool) day!

Kristen :)

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Hey Kristen: Thanks for stopping by my log!! Yay for accutane friends LOL! :D I replied to your post on my log. Its brutally hot here too. I cant take it. My skin feels like its on fire when Im outside. :evil:

Stay Cool! :cool:

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Hellooooo Kristen! Well sweetie if it makes you feel any better, try having like 3 or 4 cysts on your face at the same time. Cuz that's how it's been for me this week. So crazy how my skin can take a turn for the worst so fast. This past weekend I felt great about everything. Last week was period time and I was stoked cuz I barely had any zits. Now I have one on my forehead, and I haven't broken out there forever. I also have one on each cheek and one on my neck! Gross!! It's like a baseball diamond, my right cheek is 1st base, forehead 2nd base, and so on LOL. I'm just worried I am becoming immune to the Doxy or something, but it's only been 3 months.

So I have another ipledge question. The reason I never got my password is cuz my derm didn't register me correctly. Dummy! Well I got registered correctly last Thursday, and I got my password today. I went onto the site and I can't answer the questions til my derm "confirms my monthly visit". So does that mean, when I go back on the 16th for my 2nd round of blood tests, he will go onto the computer & confirm it then? Then after that, how soon do I start the medicine? I'm sure it's different with every doctor & I don't expect you to know EXACTLY when I'll be starting :cool: I am just wondering how it happened when you started. I know you haven't taken any blood tests but you did still have the 30 day waiting period and all that stuff right?

I am thinking about going in on like 14th to get blood tests (the lab is in the same building but it's not my actual derms office) so that way he can have the results for my appt on the 16th.. then maybe I can start quicker?

I'm kind of a week behind b/c he wanted to see me the week of the 9th, but it turns out he is on vaca that week so I have to wait another week. All I have to say is... Dummy!!! This weather is killing my skin!!

Well I hope your cyst goes away quickly. I would suggest Neosporin, just judging from what other people on here have said about it. I think the aloe is just for moisturizing, right? The neosporin should help it heal quicker. Speaking of neosporin, I need to go put some on my feet. I wore the worst shoes this weekend in Harvard Square and gave myself some serious blisters!! Now it's the hottest week ever and I can't wear sandals cuz of that.. lol.. grrrr...

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Hey Kristin,

I use neosporin on my face when my skin breaks and I have a scab, but that only happened when i was on 40mg a day. Since i've gone down to 10mg a day, my face has not been that dry. My hands are starting to heal, but my forearms are still very irritated. I try to cover it up at work by wearing long sleeve dress shirts.

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Hey Kristen,

Yeah, I have that rash on my arms too - it's not sore or itchy it's just...there. Luckily, it's only on the underside of my arms so it's not very noticeable. I try to keep my arms really moisturized and it seems to be helping.

Hope your heat wave ends soon. It finally ended here (it was actually cool today) but now I'm ready for some hot weekend weather. Take care! :)

T

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Day 39

Happy Thursday everyone! It's finally starting to cool down here. :dance: Yes!

Skin is very BLAH and gross today. I have about 4-5 new ones popping up on my left cheekish area. SO annoying :doubt: My skin still has lots and lots of clogged pores and my nose still has blackheads...boooo

:( Skin isn't dry at all really - which makes me think I need a higher dose. :wall: I hope I get bumped up next time.

Lisa- My face always feels like its on fire with the sun. I am always so paranoid it's burning (even though it never is!)

Alyssa- HI! Thanks for stopping by - I always like getting messages from you!! I can't wait til you start to I can write to you! I can't believe they messed up your password! So about your question, I am pretty sure it's when you see the doctor and he prescribes you accutane. My experience has been really different then almost EVERYONES because I don't get bloodwork done...weird, I know. So I went to the doctor on May 3rd took my first pregnancy test, and then went back on June 21st (the earliest they could get me in :mad: ) for my 2nd pregnancy test and after that appointment, I went online and was allowed to answer the questions. Once I answered them my status said "Demonstrated comprehension" then I had to wait until my pregnancy test was ok and then my status said "Approved for medication" or something like that. So THEN I could go to the pharmacy and get my prescription filled. So that's my story...I would try and go in early for the blood tests so they can be ready for the doctor!

Utexas- It's good you can cover up your forearms - hopefully the rashes and irritation will go away soon. Thanks for the advice on the neosporin!!

Tanya- We must have the same rash! Mine is under my forearms too so it isn't noticeable at all really! Look at us with our matching red eyes and rashes!!

Hope everyone has a great night :)

Kristen

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Day 40

Skin is bad news. 5-6 new ones on my left cheek again. Most of them start as hurting red bumps and then go right to a head. The skin around it is SUPER sensitive so I can barely touch it. I keep putting BP on in hopes of them slowly going down. Oil has officially come back...awesome. Skin tone looks incredible bad. Tons and tons and tons and tons of red marks make it look even worse.

The cuts on my legs are slowly starting to heal - leaving nice scars behind. :rolleyes: Forgot to put aquaphor on lips last night and they were bright red this AM and haven't gone down.

Good news is I straightened my hair for the first time in weeks today and it finally looks nice...but I'll have to wait another 3 weeks to straighten it again. :cry:

Hope everyone has a great weekend. :doubt:

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Keep ya head up. I'm oily as hell too. These crazy weather changes can't be helping. I am going to the mall tomorrow, I think I am going to hunt for new makeup. My current isn't doing so well in this weather. I've heard good things about Prescriptives, and I was looking at their website today, although expensive their stuff looks like it is worth a try. So we shall see how it goes!

So it's almost the 6 week mark!! I bet by week 8, you will be noticing a huge difference. It took that long for both of my sisters to start clearing up, but after that, they cleared up fast. Have a great weekend & try not to stress too much :)

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Aww, Kristen - I'm sorry to hear you're not very happy with your skin.:comfort: Although it might not seem like it right now, it will get better. Take care and I hope you have a good weekend!

Tanya

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Aww Kristen don't worry about your new pimples, I just went back to my journal to day 40 and I was complaining about break outs too, yours will go away don't worry :wub:

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