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I'm 23, and I've had moderate to severe acne for nearly a decade now.

I remember clearly when I was 12 years old and being taught about puberty. Acne seemed like some vastly foreign thing that might happen to other people, but surely not to me as long as I kept my face clean. Never in my most vivid nightmares did I ever believe I'd more closely identify with a gargoyle than a human-being before I turned 20.

I don't remember what I looked like, and I can't imagine what I COULD look like if this would all just miraculously clear up someday. Between the rolling scars, hyper pigmentation, cysts, gaping pores, and myriad other afflictions related to the acne and treatments therein... I can't even stand to look at myself anymore.

As I've grown up with acne I can see how my current personality is so heavily influenced by the affliction. I am not a depressive, reclusive, or sociopathic. Instead I tend more towards the arrogant, misanthropic personality type. The obvious visible flaw in myself has stirred a harrowing trend of finding and isolating the flaws in everyone around me, including my closest family and friends.

I'm beginning to hate this side of me - the side that feels the constant need to make up for his shortcomings by bringing everyone else down to his level. I've caught myself - on more than a few occasions - coming to harsh judgments about people who are obviously physically appealing, after having simply glanced at them for no more than a second. Worse still, I've found that these cruel appellations are my chief means of garnering self-esteem, and without them I am unable to prevent feelings of inadequacy, and spiral into a fairly deep depression.

I'm not looking for advice. Despite what I've likely come across as here, I do have a fairly healthy sense of self-worth. However this apparent need to make up for a chronic condition - despite it's non-debilitating nature - bothers me. More than anything I'd like to know that I'm not necessarily alone here, and would like to hear how others have dealt with their acne or scaring on a social basis.

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I used to be like that too. Drugs are what really melted my complex into something more humble. So..... whatever

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