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I hate myself and seriously feel like the ugliest piece of shit on this planet. (sorry about the language btw)

I don't mean to bitch about having acne but it's getting to the point where I don't know what to do anymore.

It may sound pathetic I know, I mean I know there are people who have worse lives, people with even worse acne, children starving in Africa, some people being thousands in debt etc etc...but I've closed myself from the rest of the world (even my friedns and family) so badly that it's getting to the point where it's fucking ridiculous.

I am depressed and I really don't want to be. I am so perfectionistic that I feel I'll only be happy if I have clear skin. I've been having acne for 7 years know. I've tried so many topicals and pills and nothing has worked.

My bother tried accutane and his skin cleared up completely. Even after 5 years, it's still clear.

I haven't tried accutane but I really really want to, I think if it worked for my brother then it must work for me, but both my doctor and dermatologist however won't prescribe it to me.

I don't fucking know the reason why.

I remember talking to my derm and he said he doesn't like prescribing accutane to patients only if it's really severe because apparantly he had a neice who was on it and she killed herself b/c she got really depressed. I understand his grief but I think I'm already depressed and I don't think it would make much of a difference if I'm on it or not.

Anyways, I was wondering, if anyone here can relate and also I have a few questions.

-Do you think I should get my doctor to switch me derms so maybe one derm will prescibe me accutane?

-Also I think my acne is more moderate than severe, can people with moderate acne still be prescribed accutane?

thanks in advance :)

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Aww, I'm sorry you have to go through this hun :(:comfort:

Do you think I should get my doctor to switch me derms so maybe one derm will prescibe me accutane?

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if you really want tane, go for it. just know some of the side effects and stuff.

but i know how you feel about needing clear skin, because i am perfectionist also. i always have to have everything completely done, so even if my skin vastly improves it still isnt enough for me. i just want acne completely gone.

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Thank you so much both of you for your support :)

Well, just made an appointment to see my doctor today. Maybe she will prescribe me accutane before I get a referal to see my dermatologist, if she doesn't then I'll just ask to see my derm right away. Also, I don't know what the med system is like in other countries, I'm in Canada.

Praying for clearer skin! At least some time in the near future :|

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exact same feelings as u.but are u a girl?if u are,i wouldnt suggest you take accutane?there are so many scary side effects such as birth defects next time..:/

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exact same feelings as u.but are u a girl?if u are,i wouldnt suggest you take accutane?there are so many scary side effects such as birth defects next time..:/

Only if you get pregnant WHILE on tane

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exact same feelings as u.but are u a girl?if u are,i wouldnt suggest you take accutane?there are so many scary side effects such as birth defects next time..:/

yes I'm a girl. But I want it so badly. I've done some messed up drugs in the past (that I don't do anymore), I've had anorexia. So I'm sure my body's already messed up as it is. :( Of course I do care though.

exact same feelings as u.but are u a girl?if u are,i wouldnt suggest you take accutane?there are so many scary side effects such as birth defects next time..:/

Only if you get pregnant WHILE on tane

Well, I'm not planning on having a child anytime soon, so I guess I wouldn't have to worry.

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where in canada are you? i am in canada too. Toronto to be exact. i know a derm you can go to that you can refer YOURSELF and your doctor doesn't have to be involved plus you can see him within the week you call. Costs $30 initial visit and $10 for each subsequent one.

this is in Toronto. If you want the info let me know. I'm a perfectionist too. Whatever i can do to help, let me know! i' completley clear right now thanks to this derm *not accutane but antibiotics mind you*

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Guest murray

Dont give up. Theres always hope. That word 'hope'. Hold it. During a rough time like this... find God.

Be patient and it will pay. And when everything is how you want it, the happiness you will have will be unexplainable.

Imagine that moment.

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Skin conditions like acne, psoriasis and eczema can be exacerbated by stress, ... The mind and the body have always been inseparable.

Hate to get freaky on you but thoughts are energy, what you focus on you get more of, love yourself,

get a different derm and see what happens.

Maj

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You do not want to die. Trust me.

I just spent the last two days thinking about the same thing. Tried to kill myself. Luckily, it didn't work, and all that happened was I spent a day throwing up. It was a harsh lesson, but man, I am happy I am not dead. Whatever you do, do not do the same thing I tried to do.

That being said, it sounds like your dermatologist is trying to help..but he doesn't know how it feels. Tell him that it is terribly severe because it is already getting to you, and that you are willing to deal with the possible depression through scheduled psychological visits, taking some meds, or some other way if needed. And don't feel bad about complaining, everything is relative. There is no use in comparing your problem to the problems of other people because things of importance are different for everyone.

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