i really cant believe this three headed monster cyst is on my forehead.
there is a quarter sized bright red circle on the surrounding skin too.
so i have this big red spot and three painful bumps clustered together.
i have crater wounds on top of each bump too. i would be happy if at least i got to have a nice explosion of puss from one of them, but NOPE. NOTHING.
im really horrible, this morning i woke up from last night's picking episode and you'd think id finally just leave it be, but alas, i have ocd, and i squeezed the wound hoping that something will drain, but to no avail. what i did do though, was scrape off more surrounding skin to add to the big bloody wound!
theres still hard bumps there, they feel like if you just squeeze them hard enough they will pop, and this is what is so frustrating.
i am crying now, because this mess on my face is actually so. so. bad.
i feel like a monster with this red, bloody, idiotic, mountain in the center of my face that just proves that i am pathetic, disgusting, and a complete loser.
ive been researching tretinoin because i am just done with this. i feel so stupid because i should have started tretinoin when quarantine began, i would have had an entire year to get my skin clear. but now, its almost november, and i will be (most likey, but depends on the virus because nyc colleges are still online) going to class in person by february 2021. so that gives me about three months on tretinoin, and its risky because my skin could still be in purge phase after those three months.
im just so defeated with everything. knowing that i will have to be dealing with this massive wound now is so discouraging with everything else going on.
the wound is so large its nearly impossible to even cover it with makeup, and i have had a lot of experience covering up all types of effed up lesions on my face. this one is just, so disgusting, i want to go to sleep so i wont have to think about it and the 101 other chronic worries of mine.