Social isolation is so painful for me. Do you know what I'm doing right now? I have a Youtube video opened up on another tab. It's a few guys just having a friendly conversation so that I can feel a part of a group of friends, and on my phone I have another Youtube video of a guy doing what he was born to do and that's play piano. It helps with the illusion of feeling connected to someone.
I honestly don't know if I can use this blog section for these types of thoughts, but if the moderators don't think it's appropriate, I guess I'll find out. But it's a like a need out of desperation to believe that someone cares for someone that's been deemed unworthy of someone else's attention. Okay, enough with the self-pity. It's very depressing, but I'm a very depressed individual lol. I really want to write about the past few years of my life. But I don't want to ramble on.
I really want to start being more active and getting outside more often, regardless of my inner critic, so hopefully I can start doing that.