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Week 1, Day 3


hotglue01

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(Well, technically it's Day 3.5, since I started on the night of the 14th).

I have to say, this time around things seem to be working pretty quickly. I already see a slight difference in my skin, particularly on my left temple, where there was a bunch of activity. That said, I'll get into the current status of things:

Forehead: three dying zits, two of which are super tiny and basically already dead, one of which will probably be around for a few days longer. But honestly, it's small, non-cystic (!), and it's not a big deal. The rest of my forehead is pretty much clear; there are a few tiny clogged pores near my hairline, but I'm generally very grateful because, for the last few summers, my forehead has had these little skin-colored bumps (clogged pores? Makeup-induced acne?) that were really difficult to get rid of and made me very upset. I think the were stressed-induced, but either way, I'm just so so grateful that they're gone and my forehead is basically clear. It's dry right now, but I'm on week one (and even though my face is not a newbie to BP, it is still getting used to Regimen amounts of it!).

Temples: right temple is basically clear, save for a few (3-5?) tiny clogged pores that are sort of like the aforementioned skin-colored bump things. I'm not too concerned, as these seem to be responding very well to 2.5% BP (currently using Walgreens brand before my acne.org shipment arrives!), but I look forward to them being gone. Yay! Left temple... have a few of these little pores (3-5, again), three of which became tiny zits. One is actually quite big, maybe semi-cystic, but it never really got that red and seems to be going down. Thank god... it's near my eye, which seems to be an area where I break out when I'm feeling a lot of shame. Like I'm afraid to be SEEN... so it literally obscures my eye area. In fact, I have a clogged pore in the same spot on the other side of my face... looking forward to these being totally clear and smooth.

Chin: Broke out in a tiny zit near the bottom of my chin; turned yellow in a day or two, which I gently popped yesterday (not until blood came out! Just the yellow stuff); there might be another tiny zit forming in the middle, but it's OK. It felt REALLY rough and clogged last week, so I'm happy it's feeling smoother and that things are coming out. My poor chin... it's always been where the rough stuff happens. The joys of being a woman! 

No-Man's-Land (under mouth/side of chin): actually feeling pretty clear! On the right side there are maybe two tiny clogged pores, and on the left side there are a few clogged pores near the bottom of my chin. Also noteworthy on the left side is that there's a dying cyst-type lesion... really two, but they're basically flat and feel pretty stable. I wouldn't be surprised if it broke out once more, but it actually seems pretty clear. As for the right side, there is one tiny dying zit and one tiny clogged pore/mini-zit type thing, and maybe one more clogged pore, but it's actually pretty smooth. I had two MONSTER cysts there last month that left some hefty PIH behind, but honestly, I can deal with PIH. I am aiming for smooth texture, and the acne I'm dealing with his time around is mild compared to what I dealt with before.

Jawlines: Left jawline feels pretty good. There is one practically dead zit, and maybe 3-5 tiny clogged pores, but other than that it's very smooth and has limited PIH. My RIGHT jawline... sigh. It broke out in a cyst on Friday and it's huge, painful, and swollen. There's a tiny yellow head on it today. This really, really discouraged me. It's so painful! I hope I never have to deal with cysts again. If rubbing BP on my face twice a day is the "price" to pay for having clear skin, then so be it. Anyway, there's also another dying nodule there that's kind of like the thing on my chin-- basically flattened out, but not quite. It was huge and painful, but it seems to be shrinking in circumference and diameter and is reasonably flat. There's also another zit there that's kinda big, but it's just a regular old papule so I expect it to die down reasonably quickly. Other than these three things, though, it's quite clear with no other clogged pores (mayyyybe 1-2)... Sigh.

Sides of face: my right side is actually feeling pretty smooth, with almost no clogged pores and no pimples (except for one sort-of pimple at the very edge of my face)! Again, the clogged pores this time around seem to be responding to BP very well, which is great. The left side of my face has a thactch of clogged pores, but they're at the very edge of my face and I'm not too concerned. At the rate things are going, I expect them to just disappear without forming any big pimples. 

Oh man, how good it's gonna feel when my skin is milky, clear, and beautiful... thank god for the Regimen, for Dan Kern + the gang, and for this website. Seriously. I used acne.org's Regimen with great success 10  years ago, and stayed basically clear for five years thereafter... then I began experimenting with getting OFF the Regimen at various points in my life, but the acne always came back after a few months. I went through various stages of doubting this whole website, thinking I could do it on my own, and something clicked for a me a few days ago. I'm GRATEFUL to be doing this again, for real. It's LIBERATING to surrender to it, because I KNOW, deep in my bones, that it's working, and that it's for me. I've battled a lot of shame over the years about having high-maintenance skin... lamenting about how I'll "never be one of those people" who can enjoy fun new skin care products. And so I strayed.

But at the end of the day, one of the happiest times of my life was that spring when my skin was totally, perfectly clear... and having clear skin for all those years on the Regimen had me feeling so free, so open, so happy. 

I am eager for this again. And now I am practicing acceptance that I, HOTGUE01, AM A PERSON WHO HAS ACNE-PRONE SKIN! I AM ALSO A PERSON WHO HAS SKIN THAT CAN BE MILKY, TOTALLY CLEAR, BLUSHING, TRANSLUCENT, AND BEAUTIFUL! I got there with the Regimen before, and I'll get there again... 

It feels good knowing that I'm doing the exact right thing for myself. I'm proud to be an acne.org member!

OK, signing off. You know what a good feeling is? Looking forward to seeing what progress your face is making in the morning, instead of the opposite. <3 Every day, my face is making strides. I'm only approaching Day 4 and I already see a difference! Imagine where I'll be in 2 weeks? I'm doing this pretty exactly, down to the 10 seconds with washing my face, waiting between steps, patting my face dry gently with a towel, and no other variables. THAT SAID, I WAS and DID use the Aztec Clay Healing Mask thing on Thursday and Friday, but I'm taking it out of the equation for a while. I really just want to do this and nothing else.

Not touching my skin is hard, but OH SO GOOD!!! Not picking is becoming less hard. And not looking in mirrors compulsively is getting a little easier too. It's realllly hard having a boyfriend AND acne at the same time, but oh well. He loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and sexy, and it's time I catch up and feel the same way, no matter what my skin looks like. 

Now, I'm just eager for my face to settle into its new routine. I'm a little bit red, a teeny bit dry, but I'm not flakey (thank god-- probably because I've been using BP on and off for 10 years, and my face is reasonably used to it!). My face DOES seem a little bit dull, but that will change as my face continues to get used to this routine, and to trust me. I haven't had a single, unchanging routine with my face in years now-- it's like, every few days I tried some new experiment. Now I'm just accepting this, embracing this, and letting it be. It's gonna glow... it is glowing.

Is it weird that I love the feeling of the moisturizer + jojoba on my face? 

OK, signing off for real. Will post new update pics on Thursday so that we can see actual progress <3 

 

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