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Week 1, Day 1


hotglue01

100 views

Hi there,

OK, no one is reading this anymore. I started a blog OMG almost 10 years ago EXACTLY, how crazy is that, and now I'm back.

Long story short: my skin is acne-prone, and I thought I could outsmart it, or figure out a new way to treat it, but here we are. I'm back at DKR, after hating on it, wishing I didn't have to be on it. But I do, and it works, and I'm grateful for it. For the first time in a long time I even reordered the BP.

The thing is, I do eventually think I'd like to transition off of chemicals, but it seems like my face just really needs this now, and that's OK. Luckily, my body is looking great and there isn't any major activity going on there in terms of acne. 

My face... my beautiful face. Truth be told, the acne I'm dealing with is quite mild, but it is persistent. Here's my current status:

My left temple has three normal-ish zits that are blackheads coming to the surface, and one big angry one zit in a system of blackheads that were cysts last month (not fun). I'm glad that the weird bout of cysts that were cropping up seem to be expired; ah, the stress of Quarantine.

My forehead is clear of pretty much all acne and clogged pores, save for a few minor ones and one little system of pimples above my left eyebrow, but they don't feel particularly deep. This is good, because for the past few summers my skin has broken out in these little clogged pore/half zit things that drove me nuts, and I'm grateful that my forehead is pretty smooth. I do have some clogged pores on my mandible/upper cheekbone area on the right side of my face, although nothing is really inflamed there; however, I want it to get better.

Along the edge of my face there are quite a few clogged pores on both sides, although they are skin-colored and not inflamed. I hope they go away just by falling out!

My jawlines -- while reasonably clear -- are healing and dealing. My right side has a dying zit and a few clogged pores; my left side has a dying bonafide nodule (not fun) and a few smaller zits that are in various stages of the cycle. My chin... felt rough, and has some clogged pores and one tiny zit, but is generally doing OK. What I refer to as "no-man's land," or the area between my chin and cheeks, is doing OK after suffering quite a few cysts last month. I'm very grateful for that. 

The area around my mouth near my nose is a little clogged on both sides as well, with these little inflamed clogged pore-things. They scare me and I'm looking forward to treating them with DKR. 

I have some PIH; most of it is mild, but I've got this big thing on my temple and a few spots on my chin that are going to take some time to heal. Here we go.

I've been experimenting with a more "natural" routine for months, but it just hasn't been working. I haven't been consistent with any regimin, and at the end of the day I just find myself coming back to DKR. To date, is has been the most effective thing for my skin over the years and here I am, coming crawling back, but with gratitude. I'm ready to do this. I started DKR last night in earnest, although I don't have quite the proper materials yet (using 5% BP instead of 2.5%, which I'm going to go out and get now), and am doing my best to follow all the steps-- especially the following:

- waiting between steps

- not touching my face AT ALL during the day

- not obsessing in the mirror; accepting my face for where it is.

- using a featherlight touch

- being totally consistent

- padding my face dry with the towel

- TRUST!

The hard news: this is going to take some time. It's hard because I have a boyfriend, and he's amazing and I love him, but being with him has been a trigger for me. His skin is PERFECT and I just feel ashamed, ugly, and broken, still dealing with acne at 33. But I also realize that I'm here to heal it, and now that I'm back on DKR, I'm doing all the right things I can do heal. I'm ready, I'm excited, and I deserve it.

I WANT PORCELAIN SKIN, and I'm excited to have it. 

The good news: DKR WORKS, and it will work again. It's already working.

I'm attaching some pictures here. I'm so ashamed, I'm so ashamed, and I want this so bad. I deserve it. I deserve it. I want to love my face.

I'm doing this. 

 

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