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2020 is the year



Ok so I said 2019 was gonna be the year I stop picking and get my skin ON TRACK. And i was bloody determined this time. Well, actually Ive said that for 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014.... you get my point.

BUT I have made so much progress and learned so much this year that i really do feel confident to beat skin picking in 2020. I've done so many treatments this year as well, and found so many amazing products that I use every day now, I know for a fact that all i need to do now is stop picking and I will have amazing glowing "perfect" skin. I've had it a few times this year and let me tell you, NOTHING i mean NOTHING feels as good as not having to worry about your skin or wear makeup, and having your skin not just be clear but perfect and glowing. Of course, the few times ive achieved that this year, i have promptly ruined it within a few days by having a picking relapse.

I've done 3 IPL treatments, 2 BBL's, microneedling, chemical peel, micodermabrasion, Silk Peel, and am on al ZO and IS Clinical products now which honestly, are so amazing and worth every cent.  ALSO - I have been keeping up on my botox which to tell the truth makes my forehead look so smooth and glowing i feel it is a skincare must, not only to deal with wrinkles but improve the overall glow.

I am just on the cusp of being healed from my latest and LAST picking spree on 2019...well, of EVER AGAIN. Its not worth it. I have learned a lot this year, since I thought it was going to be the year i finally get my shit together, and in the end i am very very close, but not 100% there. Picking is NOT WORTH IT. First of all, i dont even have acne. Seriously, when i leave my face alone, its perfectly fine. No acne, nothing. Its when i start picking and squeezing at pores i perceive as clogged, that i create acne. And its not even really acne, its actually wounds, spots, sores, that looks like acne.

This really is not a skin problem anymore but a mental problem. I have used this app i found called...ugh whats it called again.... actually i dont remember because i deleted it recently since i thought i didn't need it anymore. But you set it, like a timer, and it logs how long you have gone without skin picking (or whatever habit you choose). And when you pick, you have to go into the app and tell it you picked and it re-sets the timer, and has a calendar that shows how many days you picked and how many picking-free streaks you had. Its really cool and the absolute shame it makes you feel to hit the re-set button back to 0 days when it shows "31 days without skin picking" is unreal. Anyways, just a cool tool.

Also, i learned this year that YOU HAVE TO WEAR SPF EVERY DAY (mineral). And i have, every single day this year. RAIN OR SHINE, WARM OR COLD WEATHER, WINTER OR SUMMER. EVERY DAY NO MATTER WHAT. The sun is evil for your skin. Which took me a minute to come around to believing because the hot, humid, sunny summer days were always great to heal my spots, i would purposely sit outside facing the sun with no SPF on, no hat, nothing, just trying to get as much sun o my face to heal my acne as possible. But thats terrible and I have learned that if you want to have good skin and keep it good for years to come, WEAR some SPF for the love of god!!

Anyways, i have a few fun treatments already lined up for 2020 - fractional resurfacing and another microneedling treatment, and will try to keep up with a monthly microderm or chemical peel.

I am SO CLOSE. ALMOST THERE. My goal is to go to work with no makeup on and feel competely ok with it. (mascara will be allowed). I mean no skin makeup. Which i have been sooooo fucking close so many times this year, but always needed that little spot of concealer or whatever. But i will get there in 2020 i promise you that.

Anyways, hopefully someday my days on this site will be over. I will let you know when that is, but for now ill keep on going!


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