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winter girl


i went to sephora yesterday and bought the eradikate spot treatment. 

it didn't seem to do shit. 

after my monster zit last week, i thought, okay, now its over, i can have a peaceful week this week. 

but history repeats itself, doesn't it? 

every time i finally get rid of one zit, a new one appears. literally every [freaking] time. 

would you look at my last week's entry on where i say i "woke up to a zit"... that was last tuesday and today is tuesday, and i woke up to a zit. like come on. 

its like my acne clocks in once a week on the dot, stays for that week and maybe i have ONE (two if im lucky) days where i have clear skin and can cover up the scab thats left over from that week's zit. 

and then after that magical one day, where i am so naive and believe my skin will stay this clear for at least a week, my acne just barges in through the front door yelling and screaming. 


so i have an old wig that looks like my real hair, and it has bangs. i've been saying how i want to get bangs to cover my acne, but i've been terrified of actually going through with it. 

but when i tried on this wig, i think that it looked pretty good! 

i have two more days of school this week, because of thanksgiving break, so i'm thinking to wait until break to do it. 

but my very impulsive personality is wanting to just pick up some kid scissors and cut it right now. 

i feel like crying because i am really [freaking] frustrated. at this point, i don't know why i'm breaking out.

i'm sick of reading about [freaking] hormones or gut health. i'm [freaking] sick of it. i want to stay in my bed all day and cry. but i can't. i have such a long day today, and i have a presentation for one class. 


anyways, the photo below is me with that wig on, what do u guys think?  i'd probably make the bangs a little bit thicker, same shape as that, and length, but thicker. 

i think i'd be so much happier if i got bangs. acne wouldn't be such a big deal to me anymore, because it would be covered. maybe i'll still get upset about it, but i won't freak out like i do now. 

i think this is the only think left for me to do, to be happy. if it doesn't work, or it looks bad, i think i would have a panic attack, to be honest. 

sounds dramatic, but that's how im feeling right now.  

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