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Winter 2018 Update



I never set out to update by seasons but it seems to be happening that way.  Skin for the past few weeks had been slightly less inflamed and not as much clusters of acne.  Now that the weather is getting really cold and i am really sick, my skin is not happy.  I am having clusters of inflamed acne pop up on my left side by mouth and chin.  I also have a ton of non-inflamed acne on both outer cheeks.  My chin has been pretty decent since beginning the Elidel and Soolantra on there.  My forehead is doing well too.  I find that every time it gets to the point my skin is flaring up, i categorize it as the worst its ever been.  When it goes back to a decent state, i then end up feeling like an idiot.  Right now, in this moment, this inflammation is leading me to have those obsessive thoughts about my skin such as:

it's getting worse

everyone is looking at me

it makes me look ugly

i want to hide in a shell

i am embarrassed

But the fact of the matter is that I am simply NOT that important.  People don't care about my skin at all and even though my acne is very noticeable, it's a minuscule part of me and has NOTHING to do with who i am as a person.  It took me a long time to acknowledge the self hate and contempt that i have had for my skin due to embarrassment but you know what, it's something that i want to change and I can change.  It's one of the few things in this whole equation that i have control of.  I may not like my acne but i damn sure will NOT let it be the defining thing about me.


Merry Christmas to everyone.    




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